seek therapy

I hate when people refuse to go to a therapist because it makes them feel weak or whatever.

Where do you go when you get sick? The doctor. Where do you go when your car breaks down? The mechanic. Where do you go when your computer is wigging out? A tech person. You go to these experts all the time when something is wrong, without a second thought. So why why WHY would you neglect your mind when you need help? It does not make you weak. It does not make you a quitter. It does not mean you’re “broken”. It means that you understand that you have things you need to deal with, and you’re doing what it takes to take care of yourself to get better.

I know SO many people who refuse to go see a psychologist because they don’t think they need to, or claim it wont help, or just think it means that there’s something wrong with them. I also know all the shit they’ve gone through, and I’ve seen them bury it deep within themselves. I’ve seen it in people who are currently burying their issues and I’ve seen people who are suffering the consequences of that action. And it kills me to know that one day, all those things they’re avoiding and suppressing will come to the surface and bleed into every aspect in their life. It will sabotage their pursuits of happiness and hold them back from being the best version of themselves that they can be. I just- its really hard for me to be friends to those people because they willingly neglect the most important part about them: their mind.

Okay so there’s a lot of talk about how BPD tumblr encourages abusive behaviour and stuff so I thought I’d say share my thoughts.

  • Most of the posts used as examples are about splitting.
  • Splitting is NOT inherently abusive.
  • Splitting is something that many borderlines struggle with, and it’s not their fault.
  • Splitting on someone does not automatically mean you are being abusive. How you FEEL is not abusive. How you ACT is.
  • You are NOT a bad person for splitting.

However,

  • You should think critically about how you act and what you post - there ARE some people who joke about behaviours that are abusive.
  • Abusive behaviours I’ve seen joked about include: intentionally hurting someone when you split on them, punishing people when they upset you.
  • Other unhealthy things include being unwilling to work on your disorder and being unwilling to acknowledge that some of your past or current behaviours are toxic.

But also,

  • You shouldn’t feel bad for making jokes about your negative symptoms as long as they are not encouraging anything unhealthy.
  • For many people, including myself, BPD tumblr is the only community where it is safe to talk openly about the symptoms of this disorder, and have other people understand you.

It really upsets me to see people painting all of us with the same brush, especially considering that BPD can display itself in a number of different ways. Not to mention that most of us are actively seeking help (therapy, meds, etc.)

Christianity must change its views on mental illness before more people suffer.

Mental Illness is not a part of “God’s Plan”.

Christianity isn’t the cure all for illness nor does it protect us from it.

Reading verses might be a way of self care and help some, but it is not a cure on its own and neither is prayer.

DO NOT DISCOURAGE PEOPLE FROM GETTING MEDICATION.

DO NOT DISCOURAGE PEOPLE FROM SEEKING THERAPY OR OTHER HELP AND ACT LIKE THE CHURCH THAT IS FAILING TO UNDERSTAND THEM IS BETTER THAN A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.

Mental illness will not go away with Bible study and prayer alone.

Do not turn this into some possession by the devil.

Do not try to guilt those suffering with “well do you think God wants you to suffer like this? He doesn’t.” Because you’re too busy worried about them blaming God than helping them.

This is not the result of a lack of faith.

This is not the result of moral failing.

Churches should speak openly about mental illnesses.

Mental illness is not a spiritual issue.

It is not a punishment.

Scripture and medication are not enemies and can go hand in hand.

If a church never speaks openly about mental illness or real support then why should anyone feel going to church will help them?

10

Depression is a serious mental illness, if you are going through something like this or know someone else, please seek therapy and/or try medication. And it’s important to make sincere Dua and to put your trust in Allah.

I really do want Steven to see a therapist after everything is said and done. 

The kid has some beyond serious issues weighing on his shoulders and he needs someone other than the gems, or Greg, or Connie to vent to. I want the show to say that and validate how it’s okay to seek therapy, there’s nothing weak about it – you’re actually really strong for realizing you have problems and needing to do something about them. 

Unwind

Summary: AOS Star Trek fic. Friendship between McCoy, Kirk and Reader. Helping the crew with their problems can sometimes leave you strung out. You tinker to unwind, no one knows where all the suddenly fixed PADDS keep coming from until…

Word Count: 1713

Warnings: None I think. Mentions of death but nothing too strong… I don’t even think I swore… Points for me

A/N: This is my first Star Trek Fic, so please let me know what you think! Thanks to @writingwithadinosaur for helping me out! Drea, thank you love!

Not my GIF


Originally posted by mcshipit

You didn’t have too many secrets from your crewmates; it was hard to keep anything secret in such a close knit group, especially since you were all stuck together on a multi-year mission in space. You didn’t even really mean to keep this a secret, it just never came up, so now, you just sorta kept it hidden by default. It wasn’t like it was embarrassing really, just not something you felt like explaining.

Keep reading

Shipping is not a good way to cope

I know the dead horse has been beaten into the ground, but let me speak from a personal place. Shipping adult/children ships is not healthy coping. I used to do it. When I saw certain ships, it made me think of the trusted adults who hurt me, and it was, in a way, comforting to imagine the child of that ship experiencing something similar to me and coming out of it fine. I understood the appeal behind that.

Unfortunately, the people I talked to about these ships were adults. I was 15. Already a power imbalance existed in these friendships where we talked about this ship.

One man I talked to private messaged me a lot to talk about our mutual ship. He made me feel safe, he always encouraged the aus I would think of. We talked about how it would be “okay” like what if the child wanted it. What if the adult felt guilty. This man began applying these scenarios to real life pedophilia. He began talking about how all young people should have my mindset. To be sympathetic. To consider the unique factors. His compliments made me feel weird but proud of myself. This man was not my friend. He was grooming me.

One night we we’re talking and he began talking about how he was “having trouble” with “releasing himself” and he wondered if I could help him. He said it didn’t have to be nudes. He said he just needed pictures of me in a low cut top and shorts. I was stupid and young and I finally had someone I could trust with my ship and my past experiences. I complied. This man was 25.

I sent him pictures of me provocatively posed in short shorts and a tank top. I wore my one good pushup bra and incorporated props like belts and knee high socks. I thought it would be a one time thing. I didn’t expect him to send me pictures of “my good work” which was cum all over his stomach and a still slightly hard penis. I think those pictures were what snapped me back to reality. He said no nudes. I assumed both parties to be held to that. I was wrong.

I started distancing myself and he continued to pursue me. He wanted dirtier pictures. Me simulating my clit over my pants. Me in my pantries. Me spreading my ass. I always ignored those requests and one day, he said “you know I have dirt on you. So give me what I want and I won’t share what you have given me with the others”

At this point, I ran. I left the group, I blocked everyone part of it. I changed my name on social media. I hid. He never found me but I have no idea where those pictures went and what happened to them.

I could have just as easily given him underage nudes to keep all my friends. Thank god I didn’t but I could have. This wasn’t romantic or silly. This wasn’t cute or glamorous. This was sexual harassment. This was pedophilia.

These ships are a gateway for actual offending pedophiles to get what they want out of a younger fan base I know ten year olds don’t watch CC and R&M. I’m not a fucking idiot. I’m not protecting them. I’m protecting 15 year old me.

If you want to come forward about CSA happening to you, if you want to cope, do it with trusted and licensed professionals. Go to therapy. Seek help. Stop imprinting yourself on fictional characters and don’t trust the adults who encourage your cope ship. If you must, keep that cope ship to yourself. Do not trust adults who draw kids and adults in romantic or sexual scenarios.

My askbox is always open to CSA survivors. Its also open to people who want to get help. I’m not a professional but I can point you to resources and people who are. These ships are gateways. Plain and simple. They aren’t healthy coping and you’re likely putting yourself in a position to get hurt again. Above all, please stay safe.

Arguing the Case For Dennis Reynolds’ Return

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is not known for being a kind show to its characters. We’re supposed to derive enjoyment, or at least a sense of schadenfreude, from seeing how miserable the Gang’s lives are and how rarely they achieve happiness. That said, making Dennis leave now, after the events of this season, seems needlessly cruel to me–and not just to the characters, but to the show’s audience, as well.

Dennis Reynolds is a rarity among television characters. To see a mentally ill character depicted so boldly, his disorder named and his characterization consistently written to match that diagnosis, is a very unusual thing to see in television. And for that diagnosis to be borderline personality disorder, instead of the more commonly-seen depression and anxiety, makes it all the more meaningful, especially to mentally ill viewers who don’t often get to see themselves depicted so honestly on television.

It’s been so wonderfully gratifying to see the arc of Dennis’ mental health throughout the show, culminating in him going on meds this season and making real progress in dealing with his emotions. It sends a message of hope and recovery to other people suffering from mental illness and disorders. After all, if a person as “irredeemable” as Dennis Reynolds can seek medication and therapy to improve his mental health, surely the rest of us can as well.

On a narrative level, it seems a shame to ditch Dennis permanently now that he does have this more profound level of emotional depth. His outburst about his “big feelings” in The Gang Tends Bar was an incredibly touching thing, and very faithful to the experiences of real people who have BPD. With so much more depth and room for Dennis to grow now that he’s able to admit and talk about his feelings, sending him away the way he left tonight feels like a cheap ending to one of the most satisfying character arcs I’ve ever seen on television.

This isn’t the only reason I ask the writers to consider bringing Dennis back, however. There is another reason having him leave now is unnecessarily cruel to the audience, especially the (surprisingly large!) LGBTQ following that Sunny has attracted.

As early as season 3, subtext has been laid that, not only is Mac gay, but that he’s in love with Dennis. What started as a simple, joking “I love you” in The Gang Gets Held Hostage has become so much more.

We all thought it was doomed to staying in the realm of subtext forever, though; one of the main conceits of Sunny is that the characters will never develop and improve. Thus, it would be impossible for Mac to ever truly accept himself and come out of the closet as the series wore on, made evident by his false coming out in the season 11 finale.

But then, something incredible happened. We complained about how cruel it was to out a character and then force him back into the closet when that’s a narrative that’s all too common in real life. Sunny is cruel, but it shouldn’t be needlessly so, and in a year that went on to bring so much worry and strife into the lives of LGBTQ people, putting Mac back in the closet felt like salt in the wound.

The incredible part about our complaining is that the writers listened. Charlie Day recently said in an interview that bringing Mac back out of the closet in season 12–permanently, this time–was the right thing to do, considering the social climate we’re living in right now. Furthermore, he said that they did it partially because of the feedback they received after the season 11 finale. They defied the show’s main conceit to do right by the LGBTQ community.

As momentous as Mac’s staying out is on its own, it brought with it an exciting new possibility: the possibility to confront his feelings for Dennis head-on. His closeted status was the only thing ever really stopping the writers from really delving into it before. And, as we’ve seen from the second half of season 12, they’re not at all afraid to explore the topic in a more indepth way, as Mac’s PTSDee dream sequence and his heartfelt gift to Dennis in The Gang Tends Bar showed. More interesting than even that, though, was the possibility that Dennis might return those feelings.

More than once, we’ve seen that Dennis does care about Mac much more than he usually lets on. And we know that Dennis is probably bisexual, both from statements made by the showrunners at ComicCon and from Dennis’ behavior within the show itself. Since Mac came out in Hero or Hate Crime?, the possibility of Mac and Dennis’ relationship existing in a more romantic context has been explored, culminating in the two of them actually pretending to be together in tonight’s season finale, and all-but open confirmation that Mac is in love with Dennis.

This is why, I believe, it’s so needlessly cruel to permanently remove Dennis from the equation now. I do not mean to imply that I want to see Mac and Dennis in a happy, committed relationship–that’s never been the Sunny way. But it seems unfair to me that Dee and Charlie got their moment of romance in The Gang Misses the Boat, when Mac and Dennis have it torn away from them just as it becomes possible for them to have it in the first place. At the risk of sounding like an impassioned young gay man, it hurts to see a romantic relationship between two men dangled in front of me and then torn away like this. More than painful, it’s practically queerbaiting, an incredibly harmful practice that’s sadly all too common in today’s television landscape.

On the off chance that anyone involved with the writing of Always Sunny reads this: firstly, thank you for getting this far. Secondly, I urge you to consider, again, the social implications of making Dennis leave forever just as he makes a huge breakthrough in his mental health and just as it becomes possible for his relationship with Mac to be explored in a more romantic context. Dangling Mac and Dennis in a relationship (literally) before viewers, only to yank that away, is incredibly painful to watch, especially for us young LGBTQ viewers who often struggle enough with staying positive just living our daily lives. And I personally know a great many people with BPD who have found themselves in Dennis– which isn’t something they can say about many other TV show characters.

I know that, as young LGBTQ people and as young mentally ill people (and oftentimes, both), we are not the core demographic for Sunny, and I know that we never will be. However, I also know that the showrunners do want to do right by us, and that they do have our best interests at heart as allies. It is with this knowledge that I ask, if any of you are reading this, to consider bringing Dennis back in season 13, whenever that may be.

I know that Sunny will not have a happy ending; it completely goes against the show’s thesis. But Mac coming out for good in season 12 has proven that the show’s thesis can be defied in special circumstances, especially when it’s for the greater societal good. I am not asking for Mac and Dennis to get married, but I am asking you to consider the cruelty of resolving more than a decade of Mac’s romantic feelings for Dennis in this way, just as it became possible for them to become something more. And more than that, I am asking you to consider the impact Dennis Reynolds has had on the lives of so many mentally ill people, who almost never get to see themselves represented on television as accurately as they have with Dennis.

I trust all of you as artists and writers, and as well-meaning and thoughtful people in general, to consider my words as you move forward with planning for season 13. Again, if you made it this far, thank you for listening, and I look forward to seeing what the future holds, whatever that may be.

I don’t want to be angry anymore. I want to be calm. I want to stop hurting people and blowing up all the time. I hate myself for it. It’s straining my relationship. It’s made my mom cry. I just lose it and blow up on anyone that’s near me when I’m mad and I know it isn’t fair but I feel like I can’t control it, and every time I go off I just get more angry at myself and it makes it worse. My anger is out of control and I don’t know how to fix it. I feel like the worst piece of shit.
—  Posted by Anonymous

anonymous asked:

how can the most well-meaning advice can be dangerous?

because you cannot give advice on subjects you know nothing about, no matter how well-intentioned you might be. you don’t know the details, you don’t know the full context, and you have no idea what might be best for a person. plus, you might be wrong. you might accidentally give someone dangerous, incorrect, or incompatible advice without realising.

to illustrate what I mean, here are some examples of “well-meaning advice” I have received from people who genuinely wanted to help but had no fucking clue what they were talking about, that could have resulted in my mental or physical help being in danger had I followed it:

  • on one occasion I received serious second-degree burns. among the well-meaning advice I received was “put some butter over it to cool the burn”. put dairy products on an open burn. putting creams or cream-like substances on fresh burns goes against all medical advice, and putting diary products on an open burn goes against medical advice and common sense. I was also told in the same incident to “pop the blister to let the pus out”. there is no pus in a burn blister. it’s fluid that your body creates to prevent infection. had I followed either of these pieces of advice, I would have ended up with a severe infection and even more serious scarring.
  • I was working a lot and on top of other commitments had to go several days without sleep. someone, meaning well, told me to energise myself with green tea. I am allergic to green tea. of course I knew not to follow the advice, but this illustrates how you cannot give even simple advice without knowing a lot about a person, and no matter how well meaning it is, you could just be straight up wrong.
  • during rough patches of mental health countless people have told me to seek out therapy, meaning well. I have negative associations of the psychiatric community and being involved with any aspect of it would have severely worsened my illnesses and set back the progress I was making privately. still, these people talked over me and insisted it was for my own good, they wanted me to get better, etc. yet what they were suggested would have done the opposite.

do you see what I mean? all of these people genuinely meant well and genuinely wanted to give me advice, but their advice was all wrong. it wasn’t compatible with me at best, and at worst it was dangerous and a threat to my well-being. sixpenceee could give out the most well-intentioned, sincere advice in the world, but she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, she doesn’t know the people who would be messaging her, and you can’t learn the intricate details you need to give sensitive advice, through an email survey.

please do not fall into the trap of believing that just because you have good intentions, the outcome of your actions will also be good. good deeds can cause harm. just because you act out of kindness does not make you immune to hurting others. believing otherwise makes you a dangerous person. 

Not so gentle reminder:

If you sexualize children/teens then you are an absolutely disgusting person and should never be allowed to be near children or any young person. They are not yours to sexualize and frankly, its repulsive. 

If your a young person above 18 and experiencing this please do not come on here and try to find others, seek help and therapy because that is what will help. 

Anti contact ‘MAPS’ are just using that term to cover up what disgusting things they want to look at. There is no such thing as an ‘Anti-contact’ MAP because there are children on here, and in the real world that they would come across, and therefore be in contact with. 

roasteddoge  asked:

Why dont you make Pay??????

Eh… I don’t want to.

But for real. You got a seat and some snacks?

I love Pay. I really do. I’m a sucker for secret twin/sibling stuff. And @trashpandaballs did an amazing job when he created him. He’s complex and well rounded enough that a lot of people can relate to him in someway.

And being such a great fandom character, many use his character go over addictions, mental issues, and emotions in general. As well as play out humor, practice cute outfits, and think about sibling bonding.

But some of those reasons why he’s relatable is also why I’m hesitant to draw him. Mostly, I end up changing him from his original design.

You see,under all the sass and fun, Pay is a drug and alcohol addicted man, who suffers from depression, at least that’s what I’m perceiving. He also is a rent boy ( ?is that what it’s called?) so that he can make ends meat and is in some why hurt from tough dealings all the time.

And the Pay I draw, ends up being a depressed man that is seeking to get there life together, because they’re learning that they deserve to have a life and to experience happiness. And sometimes gets bruises because he knocks into furniture due to having long limbs.

I honestly don’t see Pay that way. Or at least the way he is portrayed. It doesn’t make very much sense to me. (I also doubt that Pat would ever let Pay get to that level of homelessness or starvation without doing something.)

Knowing who Pat is, the character that is, and how he acts, gives no indication of a rough up bringing. Most of the time, Pat is shown being a pretty good adult. So however Pat was brought up, Pay would have been brought up the same way. Though that’s not to say twins will be exactly the same if raised in the same environment.

Take me and my brothers for example. (not exactly twins but) We all have loving parents who taught us to be kind, generous, independent, and responsible. And yet being raised the same, taught the same, and loved the same. We could obviously not be any more different. But we have the same morals, mannerisms, humor, and some other base stuff.

So again, whatever Pat learned as a kid is what Pay would have learned too. Not to mention how loving and attentive Pat can be. If Pat were to act like my brothers or me, he would love and care for Pay through all has mental issues and help him wholeheartedly. And Pay would give the same care and love to Pat. Most siblings who have a healthy family bond, will stick together and take care of each other.

Communication is also a big thing between me and my siblings. I doubt that Pat would just drop all contact with Pay because of work. And even with the distance between them, Pat being in the Red Army, they would still find time to talk with each other. I think I should have some experience in this, especially with my brother being in the US Army now.

But yeah. To sum it all up. I just can’t think of why Pay would ever be that way. Or at least a drug addicted rentboy.

I can definitely see him being a recovering alcoholic who has depression and is finally seeking therapy for said depression. Men who are depressed tend to turn to alcohol to “get over it” Statistically, that makes the most sense to me. (especially since i know Pat would keep Pay from doing illegal substances) But with all this kinda going through my head for Pay, I hesitate to draw him because I respect for other people’s ocs and au’s.

 I love trashpandaball’s idea and concept of Pay. And if I could, I would ask if it was okay for me to do that. But with Del gone rn, I have no concrete way of asking for permission to put out my headcannons of Pay like that. I’ll still draw them, but rarely. Mostly because I wouldn’t want it to seem like I’m trying to push my interpretation of Pay over Del’s.

Then again, Pay is just a hypothetical sibling made up by the fandom for a fictional character in a cartoon to give more content and entertain us while the actual show is at a standstill. So not much of this actually is serious, it’s all for fun.

Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - April 7th, 2017

Originally posted by mariechapuis

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! Click on the titles to get the links! They are posted in the order I read them. 

What She Had To Do by @wherethereissmoak - Post-5x18 fic. I wanted to explore what Felicity was thinking a bit in the episode and why she wasn’t there with Digg when he talked to Oliver. And then of course, I couldn’t leave it at a sad point so I had to add some future spec. :)

Olicity 5x19 Drabble by @laurabelle2930 - Oliver and Felicity have a very important conversation 

Hold Me Closer by @jsevick - A lovely 4x09 moment

Time Will Wait for No One multi-chapter by @sentence-fragments Oliver and Felicity are blissfully happy together until a cruel twist of fate sinks the Queen’s Gambit while Oliver and his father are on their way to China for business. Oliver miraculously survives, fighting every day to make his way back to her. He learns about some things that have happened in his absence and decides to stay away. Until he doesn’t have a choice.

Time for a Story multi-chapter by @smkkbert - This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. Totally catching up - I’m on Ch 126!

Therapy by @geneshaven Oliver seeks therapy post 3x23

Every Step of the Way by longlivefelicitythequeen - Things get heated when Oliver tries to stop Felicity. Based on the promo for 5.19.

The White Queen by @felicityollies - How do you break a man that is already so very broken? You break the love of his life, of course. Very Dark.  

In Another Life (I Could be Your Man) multi-chapter by @angelicmisskitty - Their lives couldn’t be more different - and yet Oliver can’t take his eyes off the beautiful blonde woman that leaves the subway every morning at 7.43am. There is something about her that makes him look up every morning - something that also makes him aware he’ll never be good enough for her, or that she’d even notice him. He had no idea how much his life would change the day he rushed over to help her…Olicity AU - no Lian Yu, no saving the city (at least not in the way we know from Arrow :D ) LOVE LOVE, LOVE!

A Touch Unlike Any Other multi-chapter by @mel-loves-all Olicity Regency - The Earl of Archer out for the first time in a long time - LOVE THIS.

Those Eyes by @mr-and-mrs-queen - Olicity scene once Oliver returns from being tortured

A Little One Shot by @ruwithmeguys - Olicity face off with Chase

Autumn Dreams multi-chapter by @sadfangirl05 - What happens when recent college graduate Oliver Queen meets Goth Felicity Smoak? They fall in love, because of course they do. After a rushed elopement they’re quickly separated, but the paperwork was never filed.It’s 10 years later and they need to get divorced right away, as Felicity’s getting married…

Untitled by @dettiot - Felicity meets the star baseball player

Untitled by @dettiot - College AU. Oliver is on the baseball team and needs Felicity to tutor him to stay on the team.

Hidden Alleys by @adiwriting for Olicity Valentine’s Day Smut-a-Thon - Prompt: “I’d be more than happy to show you a good time, if you’re looking for one.”

Exposure Therapy multi-chapter by lilbluednacer - Oliver comes up with a creative solution to help Felicity with a problem. Falling in love with her wasn’t part of the plan.

Another Entry from Oliver’s Journal by @geneshaven - Oliver’s thoughts as written in his journal

Untitled by @dettiot - Oliver is a baseball star who thinks too much of himself and Felicity is the agent who has to rein him in.                                                    

Red Pens and Rescues by @tdgal1 - Picking up where 5x18 ends a look at what could happen

Pacing at Night multi-chapter by @walker-oliciter - The problem didn’t start when she first had a one-night stand with Oliver Queen. It didn’t start when she found out he was a ruthless Bratva Captain, nor did it start when her affair with him continued. It didn’t start when she realized she had a crush on him. No, it started when two tiny pink lines appeared on a pregnancy test.

Untitled by @dettiot - Oliver works in a sports bar and has a crush on one of his customers

To Sacrifice the Sun multi-chapter by @emmilynestill - Oliver and Felicity are ARGUS agents working on a mission in Mexico, the two share some very important history. LOVE THIS

Keep it Professional multi-chapter by @mogirl97 - Oliver is assigned to be Felicity’s bodyguard

Untitled by @dettiot - First meeting, Oliver hits Felicity in the head with a baseball with a throw or popfly gone wrong                                                        

Trust Me multi-chapter by @felicityollies - When a prostitute meets the perfect client, she has to remind herself that there’s no room for getting close to someone in her line of work.

Darling, kiss me slow (your heart is all your own) by @smoakingskye - A short drabble set sometime after the end of season 5 (probably) after Oliver and Felicity finally reconnect.

Untitled @eilowyn1 - Scene with Olicity shopping at Bed Bath and Beyond - BECAUSE it can be done brilliantly as seen here

Pieces of Always multi-chapter by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows. Ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens.

Picture Perfect multi-chapter by @thebookjumper - She’s not really sure what prompted her to do it.   Okay, that might be a bit of a lie.  Sure, she’s not completely positive of her reasoning, but she would bet Oliver’s fortune that it had quite a bit to do with the four empty bottles of wine littering her countertop and the three other women lounging around her apartment in various states of undress.She doesn’t want to be cute anymore.  She’s sexy and she’s going to prove it. SO AWESOME!

In My Daughter’s Eyes multi-chapter by @smkkbert - Oliver and Felicity are parents following a teenage pregnancy, they balance family life with school and I love it!

As Easy As Falling multi-chapter by @charlinert - Felicity has just received tragic news when she meets Oliver, I believe there is hope, highly recommend but you will cry but not every chapter!

Return to Me multi-chapter by @diggo26 - What would you do if you woke up tomorrow with the last 5 years of your memories gone? After an unfortunate accident, Oliver Queen must figure out his place in a life he has no memory of whilst his wife, Felicity, does everything she can to support him. With emotions, secrets and relationships pushed to the limits; will love and friendship be enough to turn back the hands of time?

Can Hell Be Heaven multi-chapter by @marytagus Felicity uses her hacker skills to protect Oliver from Prometheus and gets caught - Excellent!

Married by @geneshaven What would have happened, I wonder, if Cutter never showed up at the fake wedding?

Bound to You multi-chapter by @bindy417 - Felicity is an ARGUS agent and Oliver with the Bratva but they met long before that! This story gives the past and the present.  

Return to the Den of Snakes multi-chapter by @dmichellewrites - Team Arrow and Flash’s joint mission marked their second trip to Markovia. Dimitrij Lazarov Jr., the brother of a foe these heroes had faced once before was seeking revenge not on solely Oliver, but all who chose to help him. It was a vendetta against both Oliver and Barry, three years in the making. They return to the den of snakes, which leads them back to Castle Wallenstein. Love is in the air for Oliver and Felicity. Friendships are stronger than ever, but which two will fall off course from their groups?

The Story Writes Itself  by @geneshaven - How an episode of Arrow is created

A Cure for the Cold by @it-was-a-red-heeler - A glimpse into Season 6

Falling for an Angel multi-chapter by @missafairy - What happens if an angel falls from the sky? Oliver Queen is a respected club owner in his hometown - Starling City. His life abruptly changes when one night he finds a beautiful girl claiming to have fallen from heaven. With her wings tucked into a jacket he helps her navigate her now human life while trying not to fall in love. Nothing can go wrong even if she drinks all of his coffee and cries in the shower, right?

Teddy Bears and Lullabies by @emmilynestill - John Diggle was not ready to forgive Oliver for what he had done to his family.  He didn’t care how many incredibly thoughtful gifts with accompanying heartwarming notes arrived for his daughter every Monday afternoon.  In fact, the whole thing was starting to make him rather grumpy. But this, this last gift might push Digg right over the edge.Set between Arrow Season 3-4, but now Season 4 Cannon Compliant

Keep reading

Folie à Deux (M)
  • Type: sex therapist!AU; smut, angst
  • Pairings: jjk x fem!OC x myg
  • Words: 3,921
  • Warnings: language; mentions of sexual abuse
  • A/N: I have re-vamped! A gigantic thank you to the lovely @rude–jude for helping me out.

Folie à deux (/fɒˈli ə ˈduː/
A psychiatric syndrome in which symptoms of a delusional belief and hallucinations are transmitted from one individual to another.

1 | [coming soon]

playlist 

His office was smaller than she had expected, but it was cosy nonetheless. It seemed that he had put quite the amount of time and effort into making his workspace as comfortable as possible, for himself and his patients. And it worked. The glass jar filled with individually wrapped miniature candy bars was a nice touch, she thought, as well as the water dispenser. He sat on a black leather chair behind his large desk, his laptop in front of him, an old-fashioned mouse attached to it. Behind him, a tall shelf filled with archive folders and textbooks. On the wall, a bunch of diplomas and certifications from various entities, all framed and neatly displayed. There was a stretcher tucked close to the wall, a tall clothes hanger where only a black winter coat - probably his - rested and, other than that, the room was quite empty. She took in the sight for a moment, before clearing her throat to get his attention.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I was caught up in my readings,” he chuckled softly, getting up from his chair and approaching her. “Min Yoongi, and you must be Alma Paz.”

Keep reading

People Don’t Change After They Die...

I spoke with someone recently who told me that they suffered from PTSD due to childhood trauma. When I ask if they were seeking proper therapy, they replied, “Oh, she’s deceased now, I can’t talk about her that way”.
Uhh.. yes you can!
Your abuser does not become a saint just because they die. You are their legacy and they continue to abuse, even after death, if you allow it.
Don’t.
Get the help you need regardless of the situation. People don’t change after they die..

I hope this breakdown is not an one episode only thing but something that carries on bc now Robert doesn’t have anything to hold on to and maybe he’s just tired of trying

Dear Zindagi deserves all the fucking awards in existence. Alia was phenomenal and Shah Rukh will never understand what his taking on of Dr. Jehangir Khan’s role meant to me, as someone who is mentally ill and a humongous fan of his.

To see SRK’s face validate your mental illness and say that it’s not any less real cause it’s in your mind and to touch on fears that plague you, is an indescribable feeling.

For a Bollywood movie to touch on mental illness and normalize those of us who seek therapy is an indescribable feeling.

11/10 stars for this movie, it is a must see.

Hella Long List of Safe Coping Skills

So, I got this amazing handout at a training with 84 coping skills to help increase safety and I thought I’d share:)

1. Ask for help- Reach out to someone safe 

2. Inspire yourself- Carry something positive (e.g. poem), or negative (photo of a friend who overdosed)3. Leave a bad scene- When things go wrong, get out

4. Persist- Never, never, never, never, give up.

5. Honesty- Secrets and lying are at the core of self-harming behaviors; honesty heals them

6. Cry- Let yourself cry; it will not last forever

7. Choose self-respect- Choose whatever will make you like yourself tomorrow

8. Take good care of your body- Eat right, exercise, sleep, safe sex

9. List your options- In any situation, you have choices

10. Create meaning- Remind yourself what you are living for: your children, love? truth? justice? God?

11. Do the best you can with what you have- Make the most of available opportunities.

12. Set a boundary- Say “no” to protect yourself

13. Compassion- Listen to yourself with respect and care

14. When in doubt, do what’s hardest- The most difficult path is invariably the right one

15. Talk yourself through it- Self-talk helps in difficult times

16. Imagine- Create a mental picture that helps you feel different (e.g. remember a safe place)

17. Notice the choice point- In slow motion, notice the exact moment when you chose self-harm behaviors

18. Pace yourself- If overwhelmed, go slower; if stagnant, go faster

19. Stay safe- Do whatever you need to do to put your safety above all

20. Seek understanding, not blame- Listen to your behavior; blaming prevents growth

21. If one way doesn’t work, try another- As if in a maze, turn a corner and try a new path

22. Link PTSD (self harming behaviors) and substance abuse- Recognize substances as an attempt to self-medicate

23. Alone is better than a bad relationship- If only treaters are safe for now, that’s okay

24. Create a new story- You are the author of your life: be the hero who overcomes adversity

25. Avoid avoidable suffering- Prevent bad situations in advance

26. Ask others- Ask others if your belief is accurate

27. Get organized- You’ll feel more in control with lists, “to do’s” and a clean house

28. Watch for danger signs- Face a problem before it becomes huge; notice red flags

29. Healing above all- Focus on what matters

30. Try something, anything- A good plan today is better than a perfect one tomorrow

31. Discovery- Find out whether your assumption is true rather than staying “in your head”

32. Attend treatment- AA, self-help, therapy, medications, groups- anything that keeps you going

33. Create a buffer- Put something between you and danger (e.g. time, distance)

34. Say what you really think- You’ll feel closer to others (but only do this with safe people) 

35. Listen to your needs- No more neglect- really hear what you need

36. Move toward your opposite- E.g. if you are too dependent, try being more independent

37. Replay the scene- Review a negative event: what can you do differently next time?

38. Notice the cost- What is the price of substance abuse/self harming behaviors in your life?

39. Structure your day- A productive schedule keeps you on track and connected to the world

40. Set an action plan- Be specific, set a deadline, and let others know about it

41. Protect yourself- Put up a shield against destructive people, bad environments, and substances

42. Soothing talk- Talk to yourself very gently (as if to a friend or small child)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Idk if youve done this already but could you do a headcanon of RFA + V and Saeran with and MC who has really bad social anxiety? Where they get easily overwhelmed around other people other then their s/o. Sometimes even gets too self conscious to get close to their s/o and they get frustrated with themselves because they just wanna be "normal".

Hi! I haven’t done this request before, and it was interesting to write because I suffer with social anxiety myself. Even if I’m better at managing it now, sometimes I would rather hide than talk to people, even if it’s my relatives. This request does sound personal though, so if you suffer with social anxiety then I hope you’re seeking help for it - it’s just not a road you can walk alone.

But thank you for letting me do this request! As always, 🌠My requests are open!🌠

Yoosung:

·         He spends a lot of time on LOLOL, does he even remember what the outside looks like?

·         He noticed that something was amiss at the RFA party – he could sense that something was wrong, but couldn’t tell what.

·         He only finds out when you guys are on a date and you have an anxiety attack – like he’s scared and worried because what is he meant to do!? But somehow, he’s able to calm you down.

·         Tbh, he might sometimes get a similar feeling too, most likely around new people. He’s said himself that if he sees someone he likes in one of his classes he’s too nervous to approach them.

·         He really wants to do his best to be there for you. He feels like he’s failed Rika, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to fail you.

·         He spends a lot of time researching social anxiety and how to help someone with it, because damn if he needs to prove his devotion and commitment to you, now is the time. He thinks about asking Seven for advice, but then he thinks about the fact that what if you don’t want anyone else to know just yet? He’ll probably ask when you tell the rest of the RFA… and get trolled.

·         He knows that on some days you really won’t want to go out because your social anxiety plays up, and even though he tries to encourage you to go outside, he won’t force you. On days like that, you two probably end up staying indoors and watching a movie, your favourite TV shows, or playing a ton of video games. He’ll also cook you some amazing Korean comfort food, even if it’s unhealthy! Food always makes everything better, after all! (or so he believes)

·         Lisa ends up becoming your therapy animal <3

·         However, he does try to get you to go outside, like if you need to go shopping he wants you to go with him. He doesn’t mind going out at night when it’s less busy, if it makes you more comfortable! Even if self-service is a nightmare…

·         If he sees you about to have an anxiety attack in public, he’ll take you to somewhere quiet and help you calm down. When it’s over, he’ll hug you tightly as if he won’t let you go.

·         You hate not being able to act like a normal couple and after you have a particularly bad anxiety attack, you tell him this. But he tells you it’s okay to be different, because normal couples don’t exist.

·         He still loves you all the same, and just views your social anxiety as another part of you! And that’s fine by him, because he’ll never give up on you.

Zen

·         He notices that you fidget a lot. Like sure, he understood that you would after rescuing you from Rika’s apartment, but nothing has changed a month down the road. Not that that isn’t okay, but you didn’t need to be scared of him!

·         He also noticed that you were really reluctant to go to the party and would only agree to go if you could leave early.

·         Nevertheless, it’s shockingly easy to lie to him about it. You can lie and say you feel sick when you don’t want to go out or you want to leave somewhere – he pretty much never gets ill and doesn’t know what it’s like, so it’s easy to bullshit.

·         When he finds out about your social anxiety, at first he’s honestly a little hurt that you didn’t tell him before, but the feeling quickly goes away; he’s got to be supportive of you!

·         As an actor, he can share tips with you that he used when he felt nervous about going on stage when he first started out.

·         He’s also seen some of his co-workers suffer from anxiety, so he asks them for tips on how to help you, but ultimately, he asks you if there’s anything he can do to help you manage it.

·         Honestly, he’s so supportive of you. You might find the job of being his manager stressful because it involves you talking to people, but if it’s too much for you he understands. He wants you to be comfortable, so he doesn’t mind if you don’t go to his rehearsals either.

·         If anyone mocks you and says that you’re too shy to be his girlfriend, he’ll get mad. They’re going to be scared when they see him after he – your shaking and nervousness snaps him out of it and instead he focuses on calming you down.

·         He might say things like “Babe, you have to go outside! The world won’t see your beautiful face otherwise!”, but if you aren’t in the mood for jokes he’ll stop immediately.

·         Whenever you feel dread because you don’t want to go outside, he’s totally okay with it – he’ll stay at home with you, doing improv, singing random songs, reciting lines from his latest play or even just spooning you on the couch, Zen holding you close as he plays with your hair.

·         The contract may forbid you from having an open relationship with him, but you still get irritated because you can’t say those damn three words to him without feeling like he’ll make fun of you. Of course, Zen would never do that – your love is enough for him, though!

·         He’s going to accept you no matter if you have social anxiety or not and he’ll always be there for you.

Jaehee:

·         She suspects that you have some sort of anxiety at the party because you looked super anxious. When she asks you about it, you have an anxiety attack, and she immediately takes you outside and calms you down. If you think you’re being pathetic, she’ll reassure you that you aren’t. You were strong enough to even show up!

·         Her suspicions are confirmed when she updates the RFA records since she has to add you in. You tell her because you feel like you can trust her and she won’t be judgemental about it.

·         Tbh, she might have had anxiety symptoms in the past, for example if she was trying to finish documents for Jumin on time. Also, she’s seen some of her ex co-workers have panic attacks in the past, so she has some sort of idea about it.

·         Still, Google becomes her best friend in looking at the most effective methods to help someone dealing with social anxiety. Even though she asks you about it, she doesn’t want to pressure you about it, and besides, she feels like it’s her duty to research it.

·         She wants you to seek therapy if you already haven’t. Even if you don’t think it will work, surely it’s better than living the way you currently are?

·         Opening the café with her was a big deal for you. You were triggered by having to talk to the customers and begged Jaehee to work in the back, but she didn’t want you to. Instead, she works on making sure you aren’t overwhelmed; she makes sure you don’t serve too many customers and you can focus on baking when you run out of desserts.

·         If it prevents you from going to the café, she’ll send you sweet texts and call you to let you know that it’s okay. Even if she finds it tough to do all the work herself, she would rather that than make you uncomfortable – she won’t shame you for it.

·         If you don’t even feel strong enough to go to her house, she’ll bring her favourite Zen DVD, chocolate, and your favourite flavour of popcorn. You can lean on her shoulder as she speaks to you in a calming voice, telling you that sometimes the world can be too daunting to face.

·         You’ve created codewords with her; for example, when you’re in public and it gets too much, you can say one of the words and she’ll take you home.

·         “You’re going to get through this, _____, no matter how long it takes.

Jumin:

·         When you stayed at Jumin’s house and he wouldn’t let you go home because of the hacker threat, you found yourself getting very panicky whenever Jumin was around. You were so anxious that you couldn’t look at him in the eyes, and every time you heard his footsteps you were filled with a feeling of impending doom.

·         You feel like you can’t tell him – he’s a corporate heir, he wouldn’t understand social anxiety because talking to people is part of his job. He’s so extra when you have a cold anyway, and you can only imagine how big of a deal he’ll make it.

·         When you tell him, you’re surprised. He’s very supportive. He might be mocked for having a heart of ice, but he’s super compassionate and knows this is very serious. He wants to hire a therapist especially for you, but if you don’t want one then he’s okay with that. However, he asks if there’s anything he, or anyone else in the penthouse, can do because he knows you can’t fight this on your own.

·         He probably asks Jaehee to prepare a report on social anxiety so he can read it and learn more about it… Poor Baehee

·         Sometimes it’s hard to go out in public with him – the constant paparazzi and cameras make you want to hide a million miles away.

·         Elizabeth 3rd becomes your therapy animal and honestly?? She’s actually really good. It’s like she has a natural mother instinct and can magically calm you down. It probably boosts Jumin’s ego about cats which pisses Zen off lol.

·         You don’t even have to worry about not feeling up for going to work – you’re in a relationship with one of the richest men in South Korea so your boss should probably fear for their career if they punish you for not showing up.

·         Most of the time, if you can’t bear to leave your room, he’ll just work at home so he can look after you. Not that he wants to be overbearing, but he wants to make sure that you’re alright.

·         You often get angry with yourself because you want to be more romantic with him, but there’s always something that stops you from doing it. Like what if he thinks you’re being weird? Stupid? Dumb?

·         However, he doesn’t think like that at all. He can feel your sincerity and he can feel how much you love him.

·         In all seriousness, he won’t ever leave you because you have social anxiety. You changed his life for the better, and so he can’t just betray you like that.

Seven:

·         This is awkward… He never goes outside… But jokes aside!

·         He knows that you have social anxiety from that background check he did. And honestly, he feels super sad, like what was it that gave you it in the first place? How did it get so… deliberating? He wishes he knew, but he won’t force the answer out of you.

·         Likewise, even if he knows, he waits for you to tell him about it.

·         Tbh, he probably has a very good idea of what it’s like – the fear that comes with risking his life on a few missions, running errands for his mother when he lived with her, and trying to rescue Saeran from Mint Eye.

·         He’ll act super goofy when you don’t feel up for going outside, but if you feel really upset, he’ll get serious and comfort you; after all, his jokes aren’t always going to make the anxiety go away.

·         He reeeally wants to make you a robot, one that will sense whenever you get anxious and will help you calm down, but you have so many already… And you have one to dispense medication… But he has an idea…

·         He buys you a cat as a therapy animal! It might be because he wants a cat so badly, but he knows they help, heck, Saeran most likely has one to calm him down. As much as he wants to name the cat Elly, he lets you name it whatever you like!

·         Don’t worry though, he’s super gentle with it! When he first held it he almost cried, because like damn is it so cute and its life is so precious… And finally, he has a cat! Poor Zen is gonna hate having to deal with more cat photos in the chatroom…

·         He heard that fidget spinners are supposed to help calm people down! He got one for you but it didn’t really work, so now he uses it to do awesome tricks and make stupid memes lol.

·         He actually starts charging up his glow in the dark stars because he learned that it calms you when you have an anxiety attack. And they look really awesome on the ceiling at night too.

·         He always gives you support and encourages you to go outside. He’ll give you cute kisses on the forehead, telling you that you can do it! And when he isn’t home, he sends sweet and encouraging messages like “Come on, _____, you can do it! Go out there and conquer the world today!”

·         He celebrates every time you’re confident enough to go outside, even if it’s just to buy bread from the nearest store.

·         But if you don’t feel confident enough to go outside, then he doesn’t mind staying inside with you. One of his favourite things to do is to play girly games and watch girly films with you, because you two find it hilarious that you are well out of the age range, but you don’t care. What’s even better is that he adds his own commentary in a surprisingly amazing Morgan Freeman voice, and that just makes it funnier. There are plenty of hugs too, and he’ll tell you it’s okay if you’re too anxious to go out.

·         Really, he feels so sad inside because someone that seems as strong and sweet as you has something which is so deliberating that you’re terrified of going outside.

·         Meanwhile, you hate how he can always say he loves you like it’s no big deal, but it’s hard for you to do the same to him. He would probably mock you in the chatroom if you did. But when he finds out how upset it makes you and what you think his reaction would be, he works on quelling your fears. You don’t have to tell him you love him – he knows you do, and everything you do for him is proof. Besides, he’s far from normal, so why should you two act like a normal couple?

·         “What’s normal anyway, ____? Everyone’s weird!”

·         Your social anxiety won’t get in the way of your love. And he’s going to make sure of it.

V

·         You’re really apprehensive about telling him – he has so much of a burden already, even though he’s open with you about all his problems. You don’t want to stress him out, and you don’t want to appear weak in front of him, since you think he doesn’t deserve that. However, you do eventually tell him when you have an anxiety attack, since he wanted to go out and you didn’t feel ready.

·         He has a vague idea of how to help you be comfortable, but he still wants to sit down with you and talk about it with you. He wants to know if there’s anything he can do to help you and what he should look out for.

·         However, he wants you to be super honest about your feelings though. He doesn’t want you to bottle it up and suffer in silence.

·         He does try to encourage you to go outside, even if it’s only to the garden or porch, to show you that the world isn’t scary. But he’s fine if you don’t want to – after all, he won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do! Instead, he’ll just show you some of the beautiful photos he’s taken and ask if you want to take some with him when you feel better.

·         He’s pretty much blind, so he can’t see you if you have an anxiety attack in public. But he can sense it. And even though he’s never helped someone through one, he’s surprisingly good at it. He’ll take you home, do breathing exercises, and talk to you in his sweet voice.

·         He often misses photoshoots because he wants to stay by your side and comfort you when you get anxious. You’re his world and he doesn’t want you to have an anxiety attack when he isn’t around.

·         Honestly, he’s so sweet and gentle? He really doesn’t mind the fact that you have social anxiety. He still loves you the same.

·         One time he could sense that you were crying, and when confronted, you confessed that it was because you hated how you couldn’t show your love for him like a normal significant other. He wasn’t going to have that; he embraced you and held you close, telling you that you didn’t have to make grand gestures for him, because he could feel your love.

·         “Could we ever be normal, ____? I’m blind… so it’s okay to not fit in.”

·         Really, he wants to help you in any way he can. You’re his light, the one who guides him through both good and bad times.

Saeran

·         When he’s still in recovery, still feeling angry and betrayed, he’ll probably say things like “Why are you scared to go outside? Don’t be so pathetic.” It hurts you like hell; you’ve been so supportive for him and he dismisses the fact you have a mental health condition!

·         Truth is, he’s struggling to understand himself, and therefore struggles to understand everyone else around him. He thinks he’s the only one who has suffered and nobody else can have fears, phobias, anxiety, and so forth.

·         The worst time was when he tried to drag you out of bed (quite literally), but you were so afraid of going outside that you did everything to grip onto the comfort of your bed. You ended up crying so badly that Saeran wasn’t sure if you would ever stop, and you had injuries from where you had been dragged and tried to claw your way back to bed.

·         However, when he’s making good progress with his recovery and starts to feel calmer, he realises the things he said to you were pretty hurtful and he apologises… in his own way. It won’t be directly saying “I’m sorry for saying those things”, but whatever he does, you can feel his sincerity and therefore forgive him.

·         He’s probably terrified of a lot of things as well, so he can understand how it feels to have social anxiety – I mean, he knows that feeling, the tightness in your chest, hating being the centre of attention…

·         You’ve been helping him through times, so of course he wants to return the favour – he would feel bad if he didn’t – however he might be awkward about it. But he tries his best and you can feel that he’s trying his best.

·         As mentioned in Saeyoung’s headcanon, Saeran probably has a therapy animal. You find the animal comforting when you don’t feel strong enough to go outside, so he doesn’t mind sharing it with you. On some days when it’s all too much to bear, he’ll hold you and you’ll hold the animal, so you’ll be in some sort of sandwich (why wouldn’t you like it though? Hehe). He won’t do it at any other time though, because he’s too shy to initiate it.

·         On some days, you can’t even bring yourself to go out of your room, so when he sees that you haven’t come out, he joins you. He doesn’t like being alone.

·         However, once when you didn’t want to go outside, he grabbed a pillow and hit you with it. At first you thought he was being mean but he wanted a pillow fight – to bash away the social anxiety. And you joined in; what was even better was that Saeyoung wasn’t around so he couldn’t sabotage your game. Even if it was a bitch to clean up… At least it made you feel better!

·         Some nights you find it really hard to fall asleep, especially if you were triggered. Since he still suffers from night terrors, he understands the feeling all too well. Often when both of you are having a restless night, you two hold each other, not saying a word as the first signs of dawn begin to crack through the night sky.

·         Sometimes you feel bad when he wants to go get ice cream. You are terrified people are going to judge you for eating too much, or people will watch you make an order so that they can laugh at you when you mess up, so you two usually go when the parlour isn’t that busy. And as someone who loves ice cream, Saeran knows the best times.

·         He finds out that you wish you could be more open about your feelings with him when he sees you crying out of frustration. And he agrees with you, not because he wants you to be more open, but because he feels like that too. He wishes he could express himself and act like a ‘normal’ person his age, but he struggles to because of all the trauma he’s been through in his life.

·         Even so, he isn’t going to let go of the one person he can actually trust in his life. He found solace in you, and it would hurt him tremendously to lose you.