see you this summer san fran

I WISH SCREAMING WAS MORE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE IN PUBLIC

a poem by yours truly

One of these days 

I’m going to go to the top of a really high hill

And I’m just going to start screaming 

Seriously 

Think Mt. Davidson Park in San Francisco 

You think can see the whole city from a certain point

There’s a huge cross statue in the back

They filmed a scene from Dirty Harry there

It’s great

I’ll hike up there and I may have to fight a wild coyote 

(Because yeah apparently there’s wild coyotes up there,

how wild is that?)

And it’d be fine there

Because if you tried screaming like that in

Sacramento

People would think,

“What? Is someone getting stabbed?”

Meanwhile in San Francisco

It’s sort of accepted like:

“Oh, there’s some 16 year old yelling at the top of Mt. Davidson…she’s probably fine.”

And that’s all I wanna do

Because I’ll be honest with you

God…I’m so tired 

I’m tired of this pain in my stomach

Tired of always being short of b r e a t h 

because I’m always holding it

Waiting for something bad to happen

I’m tired of keeping my mouth closed

Eyes locked

Knowing that there are so many things that I want to say to you

And know I’ll never be able to

I’m tired of Death staring at me from across the room

Saying:

“Kid, I’m coming for you

Sooner than you expect 

Just because you think you’ve found happiness at 16 

doesn’t mean I won’t find you locked in a bathroom

when you’re 19

with a fistful of pills

Because you ran out of happiness” 

And Christ, I’m tired of looking at me

Like I’m crazy

Now you may be wondering:

“Izzy, you’re tired of people thinking you’re insane

so you wanna solve that by screaming on top of a hill?”

And…yes

I do

But just bare with me, we’re getting to that part

I promise

Now I know this poem seems a bit disjointed 

A little funny

A little depressing

But hey, isn’t that just living?

I know I’m a bit immature

Overthinking, never sleeping over a conversation

A look

That’s why I just gotta do this

So, we’ve finally at this hill

It’s either 5:45 in the evening

Or its 2:06 in the morning

(I really have no preference)

And I will just scream and scream and scream

Until my throat is ripped to shreds and my lungs are

keeling over

And that

That will have been the last 4 years of 

held b r e a t h s

TENSE shoulders

bitten bloody lips

bad decisions

and everything that has ever plagued me in the ungodly hours of the night

And finally that stupid, fucking knot will be gone

And people will have heard that

Maybe some of them will scream back

So…after my voice is dead gone

I’ll just lie down there

(and watch the sky for awhile until someone asks me to leave)

And then I’ll finally be able to breathe

Just breathe…

  1. lisztomania - pheonix
  2. stand in the water - wildlife
  3. cala cola - the smiles
  4. san fran - kids of 88
  5. mind drips cover - jesse woods
  6. summer eyes - tyler lefebvre
  7. good friends - summer twins
  8. summer - ike as in dwight
  9. hounds of heaven - jesse woods

i see a lot of the same songs in johndave playlists, so i decided to make a playlist with some new jams! you can listen here (x)