see what interests me here is the full spectrum of emotions that we can see through her face

SnK 85 Thoughts

The true hero of this chapter is Levi’s intolerance of any and all suspense building.

“…But… why… would you choose… me?”
“Personal feelings and your whiny friends.”

“The key doesn’t fit!”
“It’s a fucking wood door. *KRACK*”

“The basement is a nondescript workplace!”
“If you’re a moron.”

“The drawer is empty!”
“…No. FFS.”

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C / A/ M

Your name: submit What is this?

A few months had passed and Christmas was just around the corner. Unlike you, Luke was extremely excited to say the least. There was something about the winter that he just loved so much. Most of the time he called the cold weather and nearly constant snowfall his muse. You also knew that he secretly prefered the winter because it gave him an excuse to wear his Ravenclaw scarf that he loved so much.


It was a quiet Sunday afternoon, Luke and you were sat on the floor near one of the giant windows in the library. Luke was attempting to write a new song, as you sat sketching him. His face of concentration always twisting into one of confusion or frustration made it difficult for you to actually get one solid emotion onto the paper, but you managed to draw his hunched over body and his long legs that were bent at the knees, so that he could use his own legs as a table for himself.


After once again failing to draw Luke’s expression you sighed, causing Luke to look up at you from the corner of his eyes. “Whatcha drawing there Y/N?” he asked curiously.


You showed him your drawing, hoping that your embarrassment wouldn’t be evident on your face. “I’ve been trying to draw you, but you constantly change the expression on your face.”


“Ahh, it’s me! That’s amazing! I wish I could draw like that!” he smiled. “I’m sorry, I’ve been told I make weird faces when I write. It’s one of my quirks, I suppose.”


You both turned back to your work before Luke calmly spoke up once more, “Hey Y/N? Why do you always draw me?”


You knew Luke well enough to see that his calm demeanor was only slightly genuine.


“Well, your face is just interesting to draw. You make different faces that I like to try and replicate. You kind of cover the full spectrum of human emotions and its good practice.” you explained calmly, when you were really freaking out because shit he’s just beautiful and you wanted to draw him forever.  


He nodded slowly, still never moving his eyes from his paper. With his lack of response, he left you to return to your thoughts. Maybe it was time that you stopped drawing him, concerned that he was actually creeped out by it instead of flattered.


Soon enough it was dinner time and all of the students were all rushing to the Dining Hall. This room was your favorite out of all of the rooms you had seen in Hogwarts, the ceiling in particular. You sat down next to Cho Chang with Luke across from you next to Declan Haworth. AS per usual, Cho Chang sent a flirty smile to a completely oblivious Luke who just smiled back at her before starting conversation with Declan and Luna Lovegood.


After Dumbledore made his nightly announcements, the food appeared at all the tables and the hungry kids all began to dig in. You were uncharacteristically not hungry, so instead of eating you took out your sketchbook once again. Reminding yourself of what Luke had said to you earlier, you decided instead to sketch Declan.


Declan was tall like Luke, although he was one or two inches shorter. His skin was tanned, and his hair dark brown.  He had a very big smile and his teeth were perfectly straight and intimidatingly white. Compared to Luke, Declan seemed to work out more, his arms being toned and his abs strangely prominent whenever he wasn’t in uniform and lifted his arms above his head. Nevermind his almond shaped chocolate eyes and his insane bone structure. Girls were constantly fawning over him or Luke.


His features were very different compared to Luke’s, which excited you because he was the only person you had been drawing for a while now. The sharpness of his chin contrasted the more subtlety of Luke’s, and his jaw was far more defined. You never really noticed these differences before, but now you were beginning to see that Luke was winter and Declan was summer.


Finally you finished your sketch. You were actually pretty proud of it. Declan was frozen in time with a huge grin on his face, while the stars danced in the background. You brushed the eraser shavings off of your paper but before you could put it away Cho took it from your grasp.


“Declan look! Y/N drew you! How cute!” She said, turning the sketch pad in his direction.


Declan looked over, then reached across the table, gently taking the book from her grasp. His eyes lit up with wonder as he took in all the details that you had put into the drawing. He traced the drawing with his fingers before showing Luke, who had his neck crained in order to see as well.


Luna piped up from behind Luke, “Well Y/N, it looks like you have found a new stimulus.” she said nonchalantly.


Declan smiled the same smile as in your drawing at you although it was even wider this time, “Not like you don’t already know this, but you’re really talented Y/N. You can draw me anytime you’d like.” he said with a wink before handing you your book back and saying goodbye to the others and leaving the Dining Hall. Cho followed him after her twentieth attempt at flirting with Luke failed once again.


You looked over at Luke, he seemed to be in a dream land of sorts. “You know, you’re so naive Luke.” you murmured.


Luke was brought out of his daze and his eyes focused on you before he replied. “I’m not really sure what you’re trying to say here, Y/N.”


“C’mon Luke, Cho Chang really likes you, you should ask her to the Yule Ball!” You said, a blatant lie that you hoped he believed.


He looked back at Cho as she walked out of the room, not surprisingly she did the same. He waved kindly to her, causing her to blush and giggle before rounding the corner. When he turned back to you, you raised your eyebrow at him earning you a shrug in return.


“I guess she does. I don’t know. I thought we were going to the ball together as friends?” he asked in a flat tone.


“It’s okay! I can always go with some friends! I really don’t mind!” you responded, hopefully with believable eagerness. You knew you had no other friends.


“Okay, well I’ll think about it. She’s pretty I guess.” he mumbled, going back into his daze.




Later that evening, you and Luke were sitting on a couch near the fire place in your common room. It was a quiet evening and you were glad to be just sitting with Luke. You two were talking about the upcoming guests that you were supposed to be welcoming to Hogwarts in the next day.


Suddenly Declan showed up, casually sitting next to you on the couch and joining the conversation.


“I’m not really sure what all the fuss is about those Beauxbatons girls is all about. They just march around in their delicate little blue uniforms and blow kisses at all the boys. There are many more beautiful girls here at Hogwarts.” Declan spoke up, gazing into your eyes.


His eye contact made you blush. He was charming and you were flustered without really knowing why. For some reason you couldn’t take your eyes away from his deep brown ones. They seemed to go on forever, similarly to Luke’s, the only difference being that when you gazed into Luke’s you felt like you were getting lost in the ocean, but when you gazed into Declan’s it felt like you were being embraced in a warm hug. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to run your hands through his short hair or to rest your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat before falling asleep. This sudden intrigued that you had found for Declan caught you off guard. If you didn’t know better you’d have assumed that he had slipped you an Amortentia potion.


“Uhh, yeah. Those girls in their nice and clean uniforms, blowing kisses and stuff are annoying, like I said earlier to Y/N…” Luke said, trying to hide his desperation.


“That’s great Luke. Anyways, I was wondering if you would go to the Yule Ball with me, Y/N? You’re far more beautiful than the girls from Beauxbatons, not to mention much nicer.” Declan said, never breaking eye contact with you and now smiling.


“Really? Me?” you asked.


“Of course you! So, will you?”


“Yes! I would love to go to the Yule Ball with you!” you squealed, “I mean, yeah, sure. Sounds fun.” He laughed at your excited demeanor and gave you a quick one-armed hug.


“Well, I best be off. Promised that I’d tutor some poor Gryffindor who can’t even figure out how to use the levitation spell. See ya later, Hemmings.” he said, getting up and walking out of the common room.


“Well, congratulations, Y/N. You successfully got a date for the Yule Ball!” Luke spoke in a monotone voice.


“I, um, yeah! Did that actually happen? Oh yeah, how did asking Cho go?” you asked.


“I hadn’t got to it yet. I wasn’t sure I wanted to but now sounds good. I didn’t want to bail on our plans or anything without you having someone to hang out with first.”


“Well, go find her, idiot! I have to start looking at dresses anyway!“ You said, standing and helping Luke up off the couch and once he was standing you smiled at him and ran up the stairs to your room.

Luke sighed before running his hands through his hair and turning to go talk to Cho.


creds for the gif goes to the owner

Visual Pleasure and Narrative Sherlock pt. 3: Power, pleasure, and epistemological desire, or Sherlock as sapiosexual

(Part 1, “Watching the detective”; Part 2, “Objectifying The Woman.”)

(This post was originally titled “Knowledge, asexuality, and power,” but a recent discussion showed me that my focus is actually a little different. I love readings of Sherlock as asexual, but I think in the end I’m going to stay away from asexual identity claims for him; it’s not my place, and it’s too loaded. I’ve got my own understanding and term for how he experiences desire, and more qualified people can tell me if that fits anywhere in the constellation of asexuality. If what I say here bears on sexuality, then it’s sexuality in its widest terms: desire, pleasure, intimacy, and contact.

Please note that this is essentially the text of a lecture on cinematography given to first-year students who hadn’t had instruction in film or sexuality; it tends to be very basic, and I kept it simple and left stuff out not because that stuff isn’t important but because there was only so much students could absorb.)


“To Sherlock Holmes she is always the woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex. It was not that he felt any emotion akin to love for Irene Adler. All emotions, and that one particularly, were abhorrent to his cold, precise but admirably balanced mind. He was, I take it, the most perfect reasoning and observing machine that the world has seen, but as a lover he would have placed himself in a false position.” (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, “A Scandal in Bohemia.”)

While the BBC version of “Scandal in Bohemia” bears little resemblance to the original, they seem to have gotten this paragraph right at least. Yes, Irene Adler is the Woman. In SiB it’s how she names herself, it’s her professional title, and her profession is sexual. (And no, Sherlock doesn’t love her–that’d be a “false position”–but I’ll get to that later.) And as the woman, the representative of all women, the heterosexist visual economy of film says she must be objectified by the desiring male gaze. That’s definitely what happens in ASiB, as we’ve seen. To a certain point her objectification, her sexual appeal, gives her power over Sherlock and the narrative. But Sherlock is first and foremost a show about knowledge, and in the end the power of intellect, Sherlock’s power, wins out.

For knowledge is not just power for Sherlock, it’s pleasure. Identifying his sexual identity is fraught, and has sparked oh so many fiery discussions. But in the end, the most essential question is the easiest to answer: what does Sherlock want? He wants to know shit. He is driven by epistemological desire. He takes profound pleasure in knowledge, and often that pleasure looks distinctly erotic. To me, Sherlock is sapiosexual: he desires to know, and when he knows, he gets off. Not genitally (I haven’t checked his pants), but it often looks just like physical pleasure and a satisfaction of lust.

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