A BIG Announcement - Please read this:
I want to preface this by saying that this is probably the hardest post I’ll ever write here:
First I want to remind you that the final part of the Guest series will be posted today at 12pm PST.
The big announcement is that, after it’s up, it’s time for me to go.
This is a decision that I’ve been struggling with for a long time; leaving feels like a bit of a last resort, but it’s becoming more and more clear to me that this is what I need to do. Taking a few days away or a week or a few weeks simply isn’t enough anymore; it’s just a temporary fix for a much bigger problem.
As a writer, I do everything I can to connect to my characters. I spend a lot of time immersing myself in the story so I can get the details just right. Because of this, I have found myself becoming very attached to the “character” of Harry that I create in my writing. Unfortunately, Harry is not a fictional character. I can’t control what he does in his real life and it’s hard to process when he “goes off script”.
Books and movies and TV shows all eventually come to an end; the characters within that don’t go on forever, except in your imagination, so you kind of have creative control once that particular story ends. This isn’t how it works when you write fanfiction about real people. Harry has a life and he’s going to do whatever he wants with it. At no point do I have creative control over him nor can I decide what he does with his future. As a writer, that makes it harder for me and, as a human being who gets attached to characters (and people), it causes a lot of stress and jealousy and sadness when my “character” does something I either don’t necessarily agree with or ends up with someone else in the end of the “story”.
It has gotten to a point where I dread opening Tumblr every morning, because I’m afraid of what might have happened over night. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to separate myself from this situation as best I can, and enjoy Harry simply as a fan. I am still very excited to hear the album, see the movie, and follow his career because I do really like him as an artist and performer and as a human being. But I can’t continue to know what he is doing with his life every single second of every day and pick apart and speculate about song meanings and all of that. I don’t want to know about his personal life, anymore than I do about other celebrities and artists I enjoy. I want to ultimately get to a point where, years down the road I’m sitting there enjoying his 5th solo album and hear that he’s expecting his 3rd child, only to react with, “Oh, I didn’t even know he had gotten married”, and then go on with my day as if nothing was different.
So, with that said, I have to regretfully say that I am leaving Tumblr. I’m not going to delete this blog, so you will still be able to read all of my stuff, but I won’t be logging on to interact or post or anything like that. It’s a very difficult decision because I’ve really enjoyed my time here and getting to talk to so many amazing people, but - as hard as it is - I know I don’t belong here anymore. When I first started writing, Harry sightings were scarce; I don’t think I anticipated what it would be like to see him every single day doing something new, and it’s just too much for me.
I love you guys so, so much! If anyone is desperate to keep in contact, I am willing to add a few select people to my Facebook (that I don’t use that much, but I am on it), as well as Instagram (that I also don’t use much, lol). But I hope you can understand why I need to do this and aren’t too upset over it. Like I said, I’ll leave this blog open and keep all the writing up; I just ask that you don’t repost my stuff anywhere else.
I will probably pop in on Monday to check messages and answer any questions, but then I’ll be saying goodbye. Please spread the word if you can; I don’t want anyone to be blindsided by this. I know it’s not the best time with the album coming out, but I feel like this is the right time for me to bow out.
I hope you enjoy the final part of Guest, and thank you all so much for all you’ve done for me.