see salt

So at least on my dash, nobody ever drags the xxTPs, so I'mma do it really fast bc y'all really piss me off from time to time.

Like would it kill you to NOT critique rules from time to time trying to find all the damn loopholes? Like pls can u not. LIKE SURPRISINGLY JUST BC SOMETHING DOESN’T MAKE SENSE TO YOU DOESN’T MEAN IT’S NOT SENSIBLE IN THE LONG RUN?? Like is it so hard to realize that if you take into account EVERY SINGLE tiny ass thing you guys pick out, nothing would ever get done???

Rules, laws, procedures, etc, they’re there to make things easier. And like?? Honestly fuck you, ExTPs? Stop blatantly doing the loophole thing that the rules don’t cover just because you can. Y'all are so damn full of acting like a dick while not coming up with PROPER SOLUTIONS. And you, IxTPs? Just stop. You may not outwardly defy the untold laws, but you still don’t come up with solutions like the shut in you are.

Keep to your own crap and leave laws alone.

Ugh, remember that time a very popular medical drama had two gay characters in one episode, and it turned out one had a medical problem causing him to be gay, and the other was just lying and they were really both straight? And the main character insisted no one could possibly be gay and then was proven ri-

Wait. Those were asexual characters. My bad.

Hitched (8/11)

a Captain Swan AU fan fiction

Summary:  After a series of events leave her life in pieces, Emma Swan finds herself hitchhiking out of Maine, her wallet empty and her heart broken. The best she hopes for is a driver who isn’t a pervert and takes her far away from the painful memories of Storeybrooke. But when she finds a ride with a quiet truck driver named Jones, Emma discovers that maybe a trustworthy friend is all she needs.

Rating: M or MA; some profanity and sex scenes.

Cover art: created by the absolutely fabulous @thesschesthair!!

Links: ff.net // ao3 // ch. 1 //  ch. 2 // ch. 3 // ch. 4 // ch. 5 // ch. 6 // ch. 7

(also @teamhook, @like-waves-on-the-beach, @lenfaz, @followbatb, @stardusted-nymph, @optomisticgirl, @xpumpkindumplingx​, and @spartanguard, thank you thank you thank you for reading and requesting tags!)

Note: This chapter was originally split up into two parts, and I was only going to post the first. But then I watched tonight’s episode of this @$%#ing show and i have such a major case of viewer’s blue balls that I figured it would be mean to do the same to my lovely readers. Please enjoy this monster chapter. Bless.

previous


CHAPTER EIGHT

Don’t freeze out there, huh? Good advice, but hard to follow, Emma thought sourly, as they left the warm, comfortingly grease-scented air of the bar behind. It had already been cold outside when they arrived, but the temperature seemed to have dropped even further while they were inside, and a light snow was falling. She pulled her coat’s hood up with one hand, then returned it to Jones’ arm, keeping a firm grip with all ten fingers.

He wasn’t staggering anymore, although as they walked slowly across the parking lot, threading through cars and trucks, his steps were slightly uneven. Not that she was perfectly steady, herself; Emma could still feel the beer pounding through her veins, making her a little dizzy. Their breath formed clouds in the freezing air, and Emma longed to call a cab, even just for a fifteen-minute walk.

Keep reading

6

Oh my god sans, doesn’t mean the human’s been through this multiple times that they would remember any of the solutions!

His salt is showing, and it’s ruining everything .

← Previous

The Salt AU

Bonus:

Great Sans Things
  • Sans being gross
  • Sans being a complete troll
  • Sans being an expert on exotic foods
  • Sans trying to bake
  • Sans genuinely loving terrible jokes
  • Sans straddling the line between sincere and sarcastic
  • Sans being ridiculously unhelpful
  • Sans finding loopholes for EVERYTHING
  • Sans being incredibly observant
  • Sans navigating social circles like he belongs there
  • Sans coming up with goofy money making schemes
  • Sans talking his way into like 5 jobs at once
  • Sans being lazy
  • Sans being clever
  • Sans connecting with the regulars at Grillbys
  • Sans working to overcome his apathy when it truly matters most
  • Sans being Papyrus’s hype man
  • Sans and Papyrus doing cute activities together
  • Sans getting into a passive agressive post-it war over a sock
  • Sans forming a significant relationship over bad knock knock jokes
  • Sans valuing a connection he has with someone he’s never seen face to face
  • Sans deeply valuing promises
  • Sans dealing with a time-traveler with silly pranks
  • Sans secretly hoping to be friends with something he knows may destroy him
  • Sans being cyptic
  • Sans being flawed
  • Sans appreciating what he has
  • Sans being a survivor

Next time, if anyone comments on my headcanon that how ooc it is, i will block you okay. I am very petty and write headcanons for fun and totally free. Don’t like, don’t comment. Because one negative comment ruins the whole thing. And crack posts are crack posts, not character discussions.

 Tog drinking game. Drink every time:

1) A poc is killed off to further a white characters storyline.

 2) You spot forced heteronormativity and heterosexuality. 

3) You spot an overwhelming amount of toxic masculinity. 

4) You realize vital parts of the world/story aren’t mentioned.

5) That fae society is vaguely alluded too but never actually explained. 

6) A character is described as being “unearthly beautiful” based on European beauty standards. 

7) A character is described as being unusually attractive, slim, or muscular.

8) A character is unquestionably paired up with another character of the opposite gender.

9) When a character is described as being super powerful or dangerous.

10) Shitty behavior is excused/glossed over all for the sake of pairing characters together.

WITCH AU’S
  • “i cant believe you got us kicked out of another coven, dude, you gotta quit stepping on peoples familiars”
  • “you know, when i signed up for this expedition to finish this spell you didnt say we’d be trecking through the bitter wilderness with candles and creatures chasing us, what the fuck, dude”
  • “im a newbie witch and this is my first ritual and i was all excited to see herbs and salts and boiling cauldrons not tHIS JESUS CHRIST—THATS ALOT OF BLOOD
  • “for the last time, you cant have a tiger as your familiar” 
  • “look theres a reason why we do our rituals in private, things can get out of hand and sometimes we spit up blood, its not like we mean to do it. knock next time.”
  • “and, when that happens dont go around scaring the living shit out of people, jesus stacy, this is why people think we’re satanic”
  • “okay look, im as commitied to this lifestyle as anyone else but do you not see how expensive this shit is? and where the hell am i going to find a sabertooth fang? what, do i have to rob a museum??”
  • “we’re gonna rob a museum. c’mon it’ll be easy, we have our spellbook. we won’t get caught”
  • “so you’re saying you broke into the museum to steal a sabertooth fang and a thigh bone from an extinct bird…for a luck spell?/ yes, officer.”
  • “you hexed me because i made fun of the way you eat so now my tastebuds hate everything i put in my mouth and so I’m either gonna starve or eat this shit you call chocolate, i hate you so much”
  • “youre this sweet looking cutie that i always see walking through the outdoor department looking for flowers, and you always ask if you can check everything out here, which happens to be a lot of bloody meat and candles and knives and….you know my mother always told me the devil would look like an angel”
  • “you convinced me that our last apartment was haunted by throwing drawers open and breaking glasses whenever i came home, but it turns out you just didnt like the neighbors and wanted an excuse to move”
  • “you stumbled across my alter and before i could scare the everliving shit out of you to keep your mouth shut, you turned around, scoffed, and bragged that yours looked so much better”
  • “cmon babe you know i hate it when you tell the future, you stop breathing and you freeze up and your eyes literally roll to the back—STOP IT EW I HATE U SO MUCH––UGH QUIT LAUGHING YOU SHIT”
  • “my dreams…when i see people, it says who they truly are
    • and what does it say about me
      • it says youre a lying bitch for stealing my sandalwood incense from Nepal, stacy, my tarantula saw you come in my room—give it back”