see how lonely i am today

I'm so tired of

- always being the one who cares more
- knowing i’ll always need them more than they need me
- feeling completely useless
- hating my reflection
- feeling painfully invisible
- having no idea what i’m going to do with my life
- people asking me what i want to do when i leave school
- being stressed, like all the time
- always looking at pretty people and feeling so angry and jealous because of how ugly i am
- feeling like if i died today, no one would notice… no one would care…

Luna is my favorite character in the HP world, but not for many of the reasons I often hear from others. Luna is my favorite character because she inspired me to be myself. When I was scared and lonely and pretending to be someone I wasn’t, she let me see the beauty in being yourself, no matter how different you are. Today, I’m proud to say that I am not anyone but myself, and the person I see in the mirror no longer is a stranger.

Me at family gatherings
  • Aunt i only see during special occasions: Oh, you've gained weight!
  • Me: (all smiles while returning her hug) i know! So did you!
  • Homophobic, sexist uncle: what, you still don't have a boyfriend?
  • Me: boyfriend no, girlfriend yes. (Laughs in his face)

anonymous asked:

“My dad’s a cancer patient and you’re his nurse” AU jikook <_< >_>

Pairing: Jikook
Prompt: “My dad’s a cancer patient and you’re his nurse” AU 
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,541
A/N: Just one thing for this mini fic thing: I love Jimin’s dad in here ^~^

Jimin hurries through the sliding doors, flashing a small smile and a nod at the receptionist before brisk walking to the lifts. He waits impatiently for it, sneakered foot tapping an uneven rhythm on the off-white linoleum floor. 

It seems like forever before Jimin get to the fifth floor, stepping over to the room right by the lift. 05-01. He pushes the door open. It’s 8:40PM

“I’m here, dad,” Jimin calls. His father’s propped up in bed with two pillows behind him, book in hand. He glances up at Jimin’s voice. 

“Jimin-ah,” he smiles, eyes crinkling. He reaches out a hand and Jimin takes it, settling himself in a chair by the bed. 

“Has today been okay, dad?” Out of habit, Jimin scans the bedside table, checking that the water jug is filled and the cup clean. 

“Look at me,” his dad says. “Do I look anything less that great?” He puts on an offended expression to emphasize his point. 

Jimin laughs. “Yeah, yeah, you look amazing as always,” he teases lightly. His dad looks fine, really. Nothing like a patient going through chemotherapy, what with his full head of hair still intact. He looks great, but Jimin still worries. 

“Of course I do,” his dad huffs. His expression turns soft. “But Jimin-ah, don’t work yourself too hard, okay?“ 

“I’m not, dad, don’t worry about me.” His reply comes a little rushed, a tad mechanical. It’s not really his fault that his dad says it all the time, that Jimin’s answer is almost always the same. 

“Lying is bad, Jimin-ah. Look at those eye bags.” His dad reaches out a hand to trace his under eye. “And I know you came rushing over here just to visit, but if you’ve got important things to do, you don’t have to visit everyday. Go hang out with your friends sometimes.”

“I want to,” Jimin frowns. “I know I got here a bit late today but it’s just because Hoseok hyung came a little late for his shift, but still, I had to come because I want to see you.” It’s always been the two of them, and his dad has done so much for him, how can he just decide not to visit when he can make time for it? 

“So…” There’s a finality in that word that lets Jimin know his dad has dropped that discussion for now. It’ll be back again, his dad insisting that Jimin should live his life not having to, and he quotes, “worry about this old man in a hospital bed”. But Jimin can’t help it, and he supposes deep down his dad knows that too.  

“Jimin-ah.” Jimin glances back at his dad to find him grinning. Oh god please not again. “Any boy for me to meet?" 

Jimin really wants to flush himself down the toilet and out of sight right this moment. Okay maybe not, that’d be kind of gross. ”Dad,“ he hisses, "Not here please. Mrs Kim does not need to overhear this conversation.” It’s a four-bed ward after all, they aren’t alone, and Jimin really does not need the other middle age people judging him for being far from straight. 

His dad shrugs. “I might have accidentally let it on sometime yesterday and honestly, she’s pretty alright with it.” He gestures to Mrs Kim in the next bed with his chin. As if on cue, the middle aged lady turns in bed and smiles at them. 

Jimin stares at him horrified. “You, what?” Okay maybe now showing himself out of the fifth floor window sounds like a good idea. 

“You can’t be alone forever, Jimin,” his dad says. “When I’m gone, what are you going to do? You’ll be lonely." 

"Don’t say stuff like that, dad,” Jimin quips, frowning. “Besides I’m fine how I am now, I don’t need someone. I’ve got Tae and Hoseok hyung, and-”

“I know, I know,” his dad cuts him off. “I just want you to be happy.” Jimin opens his mouth to reply but his dad beats him to it. “Ah, there’s a new nurse for our ward. Maybe you’ll get to see him later because he’s taking the evening shift today." 

Dad,“ Jimin sighs. He gets it really, his dad has good intentions, but the last time he introduced Jimin to a friend’s son, the boy turned out to be already attached, to a girl no less. 

"He’s a really nice lad, Jimin. He says he’s here on a university attachment program so that means he’s around your age too. And he’s tall and good looking.” His dad waggles his eyebrows a little. “I think you’d like him.”

“I don’t need matchmaking, dad.” Jimin’s half indignant by now. Please, he’s perfectly capable of finding someone. 

His dad ignores him. “He’s single too!” Jimin whips around, narrowing his eyes at his dad. “If you’re going to ask me, yes I asked Jungkook if he has a girlfriend… or a boyfriend…" 

Jimin gives his dad a withering look, only to get a grin in return. Behind him, Jimin vaguely registers the sound of the door opening. He glances at his watch. 9:30PM - visiting hour is over. 

"Jungkook-ah!” Jimin turns in the direction his dad’s looking. He swallows, hard. Wow. Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have doubted his dad, but in his defense, his dad’s idea of good looking has never really matched his. But this boy walking towards them is something else. Jimin stares. 

Beside him, his dad nudges him hard. 

“Mr Park, I see you’ve got a visitor for the hour,” Jungkook starts, smiling widely. His eyes land on Jimin’s, briefly doing a once over before catching Jimin’s gaze. He holds it. Jimin ducks his head a little, breaking eye contact. 

“This is my son I’ve told you about.” There’s pride in his dad’s voice and Jimin’s really thankful, but he kind of just wants to run out now before the flush he can feel creeping up his neck gives him away. “Jungkook, Jimin. Jimin, Jungkook. And how many times have I told you that you don’t have to call me Mr Park? It’s so stiff." 

Jungkook laughs, nose scrunching as he does. He doesn’t answer Jimin’s dad, instead turning back to Jimin. "Nice to finally meet you, Jimin-ssi,” Jungkook says. 

Jimin licks his lips before meeting Jungkook’s gaze, hoping fervently that his smile isn’t as shaky as how he feels inside. “I’ve heard a lot about you." 

"Good things, I hope,” Jimin jokes weakly, standing from his seat by the bed. Jungkook’s a good 5cm taller than him, he thinks. He’s wearing a shapeless uniform for nurses that should look terribly unappealing, but the short-sleeved shirt reveals his toned arms. Dammit.

“The best,” Jungkook laughs. “Your dad’s your number one fan.” He takes a step closer and lowers his voice, loud enough only for Jimin. “So good that I might have already fallen a little for the Jimin I’ve heard so much about." 

Jimin tries really. He tries but fails to keep the flush from climbing up his neck, over his ears and tinting his cheeks. Jungkook straightens up and takes a step back, winking before turning to attend to the other patients. The audacity. 

There’s a nudge to his arm and Jimin whips around to face his dad. "What did he say?" 

Jimin busies himself with arranging his dad’s bedside table before moving to fluff his pillows. "Nothing,” he mumbles. His dad raises an eyebrow skeptically but lets it slide. 

“I’ll be back to visit tomorrow.” Jimin leans over to drop a kiss on his dad’s cheek. “Sleep well, dad." 

"Go out with your friends, Jimin-ah. You don’t have to always rush over, okay?” His dad pats his hand and Jimin nods in reply. They both know it’s an advice thrown to the wind but Jimin won’t have it any other way. 

Jimin steps out with a last wave and a soft goodbye called out to the other patients in the ward. He steps to the lift and waits. 

Just as the lift pings, Jungkook steps out and glances around. He spots Jimin and hurries over. “Jimin-ssi!" 

Jimin stops, letting the lift doors close without getting in. Did he forget something in the room? 

"Jimin-ssi,” Jungkook starts again, a small smile on his face. “My shift ends in about 15 minutes. Care to catch a late dinner or supper with me?" 

Jimin stares. Blinks once, twice. "Are you asking me out because my dad made you?" 

Jungkook shakes his head. "Aside from singing praises about you and telling me you’re not with anyone…” He trails off with an almost embarrassed expression on his face. “I think you’re really cute." 

Jimin really needs his pillow right here to squeal into but that’d have to wait. The thudding in his chest is so loud it’s ringing in his ears. Jungkook can’t hear it, can he? He can’t know how affected Jimin is by his presence. 

"You’re paying then,” Jimin manages to utter, voice more stable than he expects. 

Jungkook grins, nodding happily. “My treat!" 

(Later, Jimin ends up paying his day’s worth of salary to feed them in exchange for the "hyung” title, after learning that Jungkook is a freshman in college, two years younger than himself.)


Send me a prompt and a bangtan pairing, I’ll write you a short fic ♡

It’s High Moon - Werewolf McCree Drabble

Jesse held his hat brim low, covering as much of his face as possible. “I’m a goddamn wolf, Hanzo.”

Ugh, another pick up line? Jesse’s voice held a trace of fear, and Hanzo was unsure why. Was McCree worried it wouldn’t work? Hanzo did like wolves, but really, it was such a strange thing to say. Was this an American joke he wasn’t in on?

“I am not patient enough today McCree, to listen to your silly attempts at flirtation. A "lone wolf” image is it? Is that your attempt at seduction this time?“ Hanzo rolled his eyes, but jerked when McCree’s hand reached out and grabbed his wrist, holding it in a painfully tight clench. Hanzo felt the pinpricks of McCree’s nails against his skin, and noted how sharp they felt.

Without the hat covering his face, Hanzo could now see the golden glow in McCree’s eyes, and the way his face had seemed to bunch up around his brows, his nose wrinkled and sharp teeth bared. Jesse’s flesh seemed to be shifting under the skin, pulling his face into an awful grimace as his body began to shake, small grunts of pain leaving his throat.

"No. Hanzo. I’m a-” Jesse let go of Hanzo, and fell to his knees, body jerking as he tore his hat and as much clothes as possible off, tossing them safely to the side, not wanting them destroyed.

Hanzo stared in confusion. His wrist was bleeding. Small pinpricks from McCree’s nails.

A low growl drew Hanzo’s attention back, and he froze at the sight of Jesse’s hands, now distorted into gnarled claws, dragging lines an inch deep into the solid pavement.

“Hanzo. Run.”

loneliness

i feel so cripplingly lonely.

when did every love song that i used to relate to become so meaningless?

i’ve never been loved in the way that either makes you euphoric or heartbroken

i only crash

and burn

and hurt

and throw away

i used to love so many people, note the past tense

today i feel empty, i have no one to call my own, or someone that sees me as special

in a way it makes sense, i used to love everyone, i used to feel so deeply about everyone that i was blind to how they felt about me

i feel so unbelievably lonely because i see the truth now

i am special to no one, no one is number one

and slowly i realise that my emotions are dulling too, i don’t love as hard, i don’t hug as tight, my grip has weakened

these are the thoughts that keep me up at night when the moon is out of sight and the stars are weak

weak

i am weak

i am careful, wary of the words i use, just so they can’t be used against me

i refuse to say i will never love again

but

i don’t see how it could be

i am perhaps
correction:
probably

undeserving of emotion and love

maybe someone will fall in love with me

what a poor soul, i hope someone saves them from their delusion

don’t they know?

can’t they see?

i don’t relate to love songs, even if i wish i did, i hope they know i used to

salvation is too late, maybe i’ll at least live the rest of my life in soothing loneliness

then again, i’ve never enjoyed my own company

___________________________________________

reblog if you want? it would be pretty nice, idk what these things are even, but this is my second thingy, i’ll reblog the other, so yeah, enjoy? or think? idk im just saying shit tbh

anonymous asked:

St. Robert Bellarmine fought for the Traditional Catholic Faith, not the diluted homosexualist agenda you have.

Well aren’t you just divine! A lone crusader fighting against a tide of scheming fags. You must be willfully ignorant if you can’t see how “Traditional” Catholicism is stuffed to the rafters with cum-guzzling, cock-swabbing ‘mos. I don’t think I can even call them repressed since they go about their business with such casualness. I’ve devoted fifteen years of my life to strident, triumphalist Catholicism, and you can trust me when I say the lot of us are dealing with the same problems as the rest. The truth is that being trad is just another lifestyle choice these days and I imagine most people go with it for the aesthetic high. But just because your gag reflex failed last night doesn’t mean you have to be scared, or that I even have an agenda.

I experienced my first CSD today and it was very wonderful. And loud. And a bit lonely, because none of my friends had time to come and I am not that great at socialising with new people. But it still was great to see how big our local community is and how friendly & accepting people are. (Still had to deal with mild transphobia but that was to be expected)

Taylor Swift Sentence Starters (Part Two)
  • "Who you are is not where you’ve been"
  • "One day we will be remembered"
  • "I thought you’d be here by now"
  • "Put your lips close to mine"
  • "Everything will be alright, if you keep me next to you"
  • "I was there to watch you leave"
  • "All I know since yesterday is everything has changed"
  • "I don’t wanna miss you like this"
  • "You never saw it coming"
  • "Baby you showed me what living is for"
  • "In a box beneath my bed is a letter that you never read"
  • "I can still see you"
  • "I know everything about you"
  • "Baby drive slow till we run out of road"
  • "I didn’t say half the things I wanted to"
  • "She’ll never know your story like I do"
  • "I remember what you said last night"
  • "I’m so in love that I acted insane"
  • "I’ll do anything to see it through"
  • "I’ll catch you"
  • "Morning loneliness comes around when I’m not dreaming about you"
  • "You stood there in front of me just close enough to touch"
  • "This is surely not what you thought it would be"
  • "You’re doing your best to avoid me"
  • "My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again"
  • "If only you had seen what you know now then"
  • "I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you"
  • "I always forget to tell you I love you"
  • "Nothing safe is worth the drive"
  • "I bet you’re tired from a long hard week"
  • "For the first time I had something to lose"
  • "All my days I’ll know your face"
  • "I guess you’re in London today"
  • "Proved me right when you proved them wrong"
  • "It’s hard not to find it all a little bittersweet"
  • "I’ve been a lot of lonely places"
  • "I don’t wanna live without you"
  • "I’m not usually this way"
  • "I can’t help it if you look like an angel"
  • "Why can’t you see you belong with me?"
  • "I remember that fight"
  • "I love you to the moon and back"
  • "So here I am in my new apartment"
  • "They didn’t teach you that in prep school so it’s up to me"
  • "I remember how it was back then"
  • "I can’t help but wish I could see your face"
IM A LONELY INTERNET CHILD HALP MEH

Sooooo I have a twitter and an instagram and never realized how like empty and lonely I am until today lololil so liikkeee if anyone who sees this wanna be friends with an anti social social asian person who enjoys nerdy shit as well as kpop etc. Or whatevs just yknow follow me on here, iG @ minmayo_n or twitter @ miyeon_min send me a msg or somethin sorry if I seem desperate I have no life lol

Writer’s block successfully beaten! :D

Oh my, it took so long for me to figure out how to continue “Crazy in Love” and today, while I was sitting in my car, driving along a lonely road it suddenly came to me like out of nowhere. Maybe it was thanks to “Easy Street” suddenly playing on the radio (from my USB stick) but I could see several scenes so clearly before my inner eye. 

And so, right now I start writing the next chapter which will hopefully be finished and uploaded here before the weekend or at the weekend :D

I am pretty sure you’ll all love the upcoming chapter a lot :P

Originally posted by fallenhuntersx


For everyone who hasn’t heard about my story yet…here’s the masterlist so far:

http://stormyskydancer.tumblr.com/crazyinlove

In the middle of this vast blue sea
A whale talks quietly, lonesomely
No matter how much it screams, it can’t reach the others
He’s poignantly lonely, he quietly closes his mouth
But who cares what happens
I don’t care anymore
When loneliness is the only one who lingers by my side
I feel entirely alone
My loneliness fills the lock
Some tell me, “Wow, you’re all celebrity now, bastard”
Oh fuck that, so what, even though
No one can stay by my side, I’m satisfied with just that
This saying that’s easily targeted at me, soon becomes a wall
Even loneliness starts to look fake to you
I get trapped behind this wall
Even though I lose my breath
I swim towards the surface of the water
Hey oh oh hey oh yeah
Lonely lonely lonely whale
I sing all by myself like this
Will an isolated island like me
be able to shine too
Lonely lonely lonely whale
I let a cry again like this
until this song that has no response
reaches tomorrow
No more no more baby
No more no more
A radio with no sign from the other side
will reach the other end soon
even out to the other side of the Earth
No more no more baby
No more no more
Even the far-sighted whales
will be able to see me
I still continue to sing today too
The world will never know
how sad I am
My pain is like how you can’t mix water with oil
I only get the attention when I rise up to the surface
to take a breath
A lonely child in the sea
I want to let everyone know
how much I’m worth everyday
I get seasick from my worries, I always put a sticker behind my ears
(motion sickness medicine in form of a sticker)
Neverland
But always think about them
Even though I sleep like a shrimp, I should dream like a whale
A big compliment that’s on the way will make me dance everyday
Like myself, Ye I’m swimmin’
I go towards my future
with the blue sea
I trust my hertz
Hey oh oh hey oh yeah
Lonely lonely lonely whale
I sing all by myself like this
Will an isolated island like me
be able to shine too
Lonely lonely lonely whale
I let a cry again like this
until this song that has no response
reaches tomorrow
My mother told me that the sea is blue
She told me to let my voice out there as far as I can
But what do I do..it’s so dark here
And there are only whales 
that all speak a whole different language than me
I just can’t hold it ma
I want to tell them “I love you guys”
This is just a song that I repeatedly sing to myself
I trace back to the surface of the same music sheet
This sea is so deep
But the good thing is that
No one will know if I’m crying
I’m a whalien
Lonely lonely lonely whale
I sing all by myself like this
Will an isolated island like me
be able to shine too
Lonely lonely lonely whale
I let a cry again like this
Until this song, that has no response,
reaches tomorrow
No more no more baby
No more no more
A radio with no sign from the other side
will reach the other end soon
Even out to the other side of the Earth
No more no more baby
No more no more
Even the far-sighted whales
will be able to see me
I still continue to sing today too

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo Episode 13

That was precious. PRECIOUS. The entire episode, despite being in the middle of a lovers’ quarrel, Bok-joo and Joon-hyun managed to be the cutest couple that ever existed in Dramaland. From the emojis they respectively use to save each other’s name in their phones to the way they play together, everything had me between squealing in the most delicious way. God, I love this show. And, most of all, I love them for being the heart of this awesome kdrama.

Watching Bok-joo getting jealous was adorable and I understood where it was coming from, but at the same time I think she really needed to say something sooner, so they could go back to their lovers bliss. Joon-hyun has proven to be a considerate person, so after he finally got closure with Si-ho and decided to be friends with her, it was clear that he would take care of her since she was sick. There’s really no-one to blame here, in my book nobody was in the wrong, but I do think it’s important for Joon-hyun and Bok-joo to keep communicating as they have done through the entire show. Their relationship is based on their strong friendship and ability to rely on each other, just because they are dating now there’s no need for that to change.

Bok-joo never had anything to worry about when it came to be feminine and attractive to the opposite sex. And this episode really prove that when you are with the right person, those things don’t matter as much you initially thought. Look how happy it made her to be with Joon-hyun. In those moments, it didn’t matter that she hadn’t wear any hand-cream for her rough hands because Bok-joo is just deliriously happy to just to be able to hold Joon-hyun’s hand. That’s what it matters. Sure, getting all doll-up, using beauty products and wearing hairpins is a plus, but is also part of taking care of herself. To be happy with herself, so she can be happy with other people. And that’s the beauty of her relationship with Joon-hyun, he makes her feel like that way.

Speaking of the devil, I might rename this episode as “The one where Joon-hyun can’t keep his hands off Bok-joo” because, man, he was touching her all the time. SO DARN CUTE. When he wasn’t holding her hand, he was hugging her or kissing her, or just finding an excuse to touch her. Sometimes he didn’t even waited for one. Joon-hyun is so smitten with Bok-joo, it’s incredibly endearing; no wonder he proposed to her before even telling her he liked her. Pffft! He can’t contain his feeling for her and I love it. I love that our hero is not shy nor has he any problems expressing with actions and words his love for her.

But he does have some communications problems with his family and I would like for the show to bring that back. Joon-hyun is by far one of the best kdrama leads I have ever seen, so I am rooting for him to get over his own slump. Which is why I thought it was smart to close the Si-ho arc sooner rather than later, this way he has one thing less in his plate when it comes to get over the trauma that’s affecting his performance as an athlete.

Which leads me to Si-ho: Insomnia, bulimia and anorexia? What has she being doing to herself? How come her parents or coach didn’t see this happening? Did they even care? It’s beyond me how alone and lonely this character is and after today I’m really rooting for her to succeed in whatever she chooses to do with her life. I like the closure she got from her past relationship with Joon-hyun and that her mother and sister were finally there for her in a positive way, but I think she still has a long way to go before she can achieve her dreams.

I really like how this show is not making a taboo out of going to therapy, which I know it’s still an issue in many societies. Joon-hyun not once felt embarrassed to say he’s seeing psychologist, nor doubted for a minute to recommend Si-ho to do the same. Si-ho has grown a lot under our noses in order to get to the point where she finally sees all the things she has done wrong so far.

On the other hand, I don’t know (again!) what is going on in Jae-yi’s mind. At the beginning of the show, he was kind of a mystery because of his way to always consider other people’s feelings and never shows his. But then his fight with Joon-hyun happened and his ex appeared in the scene, and suddenly we were presented to a better character. But now I feel we are back at the beginning. He clearly has a rich inner life but, show, I need to see the thinking process that lead him to ask Dr. Go out. Which is why, despite her own feelings, I’m happy she rejected him. These two care for each other but not in the same way and I’m starting to think they never will. It felt like the only reason why Jae-yi went after Ah-young was because he didn’t want to lose his friend.

And what about Dae-ho, Coach Choi and Coach Yoon? I can’t believe she broke his heart that way. I know she doesn’t feel the same way but I think she’s being really disconsiderate of his feelings. And what was Coach Yoon’s reaction after Dae-ho’s declaration of love? Dude, what was that? Aren’t you married?

The last scene, linked to Dad’s Dating Prohibition, will bring them closer through their first hurdle as a couple. But I’m sure Joon-hyun will win Dad over when he realizes that, when it comes to Bok-joo, they are two peas in a pod.

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT.
I’ll confess that I have not read the book. With all the excitement about the new trailer, I thought I’ll read just one chapter online to see if it is really as bad as people claim it is. Guess what, it’s worse. In fact, I don’t know why this book hasn’t been banned, it is dangerous. These are excerpts from Chapter 16. I’m completely horrified by it, because Anastasia makes it clear again and again that she does NOT like what Christian is doing to her (I’ve made bold all those parts).

He hits me again and again, quickly in succession. Holy fuck it hurts. I make no sound, my face screwed up against the pain. I try and wriggle away from the blows […] He hits me again… this is getting harder to take. My face hurts, it’s screwed up so tight […] I cry out again. “No one to hear you, baby, just me.” And he hits me again and again. From somewhere deep inside, I want to beg him to stop […] He gently strokes my hair. I’m on his chest again. But this time, I don’t have the strength to lift my hand and feel him. Boy… I survived.That wasn’t so bad. I’m more stoic than I thought […]I remember him saying – I can’t remember when – that I would feel so much better after a good hiding. How can that be so? I really don’t get it […] I can’t say that I enjoyed the experience, in fact, I would still go a long way to avoid it.

[…] I don’t want him to beat me, is that so unreasonable? 

[…]

I close the door and stand helpless in the living room of an apartment that I shall only spend another two nights in. A place I have lived happily for almost four years… yet today, for the first time ever, I feel lonely and uncomfortable here, unhappy with my own company. Have I strayed so far from who I am? I know that lurking, not very far under my rather numb exterior, is a well of tears. What am I doing? The irony is I can’t even sit down and enjoy a good cry.

[…]

“How did you feel while I was hitting you and after?” 
I didn’t like it. I’d rather you didn’t do it again.” 
“You weren’t meant to like it.”

See? Isn’t BDSM supposed to be consensual? There is absolutely no consent here. She is scared, she is miserable, she feels unhappy and confused about herself. This is not romantic or sexy, it’s disturbing. And I can’t imagine what it must be like for the women who have survived abusive relationships to have this utter trash glorified. The movie should be boycotted and the books should be burned.
Meryl and Maks Daily Recap August 11th, 2014

Today has been a good day for us on our ship, but a bad day for the world in general.  I just found out that Robin Williams has passed away.  He was apparently fighting some serious depression lately and although there is not an official cause of death, some are saying it was suicide.  It might be a few weeks until we know for sure.  It’s a very sad day no matter how he died and my thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends and fans.

I’ll keep my recap brief tonight.  To review yesterday evening, Meryl posted a Winnie the Pooh and Piglet photo and quote.  "What day is it?“ asked Pooh.  "It’s today” squeaked piglet.  "My favorite day", said Pooh.  There was also a tweet yesterday evening which read “OMG @MaksimC is in detroit.”  So, I for one am hoping that a favorite day was spent with one another.

Maks has certainly not been spotted anywhere else as of yet.  Val posted a photo of himself with their dad last night, but no Maks.  Nicole posted a photo of Val and Teddy, no Maks.  DWM won an award today, no sign or word from Maks.  The owner of Fratelli Cafe had a birthday today, still no sign of Maks.  Until he pops up somewhere else I am going to assume he is still in Mi with Meryl.  This is totally speculation on my part, for the record.

We all got very excited today when Sharna tweeted, “Put your hands up Detroit #imback.”  Charlie “liked” it and Meryl “favorited” it.  Are they all getting together for some reason?  Lots of swirling theories.  I’m certainly not alone in hoping for a picture of a DWTS partners reunion (all 4 please)!  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

This afternoon Meryl tweeted, “How did any of us feel anything before samsmithworld? The Lonely Hour (acoustic live) by SAM SMITH…on sound cloud” with a link to the song.  It’s so beautiful, I can help but hope that one day we will see Meryl and Maks dance to this song!

There was a really great article about Maks in the Seattle Times.  He had more wonderful things to say about Meryl, “I just don’t want to replace Meryl and this experience with anyone else — it’s so dear to me, so special, so much emotion involved into it,” he said. “There’s nobody out there that I think will come along that I will be able to connect with on this level … I don’t want to win five, six, seven times, I just want to win once. It couldn’t be more perfect.”

I will leave it at that for tonight.  I hope that these people that we love are together tonight and enjoying their time, or consoling each other about the sad loss of a good person, or hanging out with Sharna and Charlie, or all of the above.  Maybe we’ll get some information, maybe we won’t.  I can wait.   :)

Mostly I am pretty content with how much human life usually lasts, but sometimes I wish I could live so, so much longer, to see how stars and another worlds are born and die, to witness how two galaxies collide and dance around each other, to see a black hole being formed and devour light.