seduce all the things

Our party—a bard, a fighter, and a ranger—were on a one-off side quest to deliver a letter to somebody. He wasn’t at his house (learned after breaking in, to the DM’s dismay), so we found out the general area he was in and went there, confusion in our wake and a spring in our steps. I, the bard, had decided that I would funnel every ounce of skill I possessed into charisma, and at level 5 had a +6 modifier. I had been using that power at every opportunity that arose. We wander through the foothills full of caves, looking for this guy, when our fighter rolls a nat 20 perception trying to look for any signs of life.

DM: You—okay, so. Yeah. With that, you actually notice about fifty feet away that a particular cluster of bushes is rustling just slightly, but not with the breeze.

Fighter: Oh. Cool. “Hey guys, I think there are some folks in those bushes over there.”

Me: “Cool beans! HELLOOOOOOO, MY DUDES!”

DM: There’s a few seconds of silence before four guys come slowly forward from the bushes. They look pretty rough and tough, and uh—

Ranger: Can I roll perception? Uh… that’s a 15.

DM: You deduce that they’re probably bandits or something. They’re walking forward and one of the guys says, “Who are you little pests, and what’re ya doing in these here foothills of ours?”

Me: “We’re just hanging out, traveling, and actually it seems like a good time to break for breakfast if you lovely gents would like to join us! I can brew us up some chamomile, I have like a thousand mushrooms I got earlier—”

Fighter: “I got that chicken, too, and jerky.”

Me: “Oh hell yeah, we’re gonna chow down if y'all want in on that action.”

DM: That’s, uh… that’s persuasion, advantage because you’re offering them food and seem too dumb to be dangerous.

Me: Thanks man. Uh… 14 total.

DM: *head in his hands* I just—okay, they join you for breakfast I guess. And yet again you avoid a fight I planned for you. One of the dudes breaks out some eggs from somewhere.

Ranger: What’re their names?

DM: Uh, uh, they—it’s got. There’s Bablo, Sanchez, Kent, and uh. Eskabar.

Me: Cool. I roll to flirt with them.

DM: ………<i>all of them???</i> I mean… sure?? I guess??

Me: Hells yeah. Rolling.

Proceeds to roll: 16, 19, and <i>two natural 20s</i>.

DM: *head on the table* Like. You—you make your fellow party members super uncomfortable. You are piled under boys, it’s kinda gross but super chill for you. Kent wasn’t super into the whole group thing before, but now he would straight up die for you. He’s learning a lot about himself today.

Me: I’m gonna write those names down for later. Can I put “a boys harem” in my items list?

dream girl asks

sweet faerie: do you feel comfortable around  nature? why ?
hollywood starlet: invent a movie where you could be the main character
graceful princess: are you capricious ? what do you like to have the most ?
heaven queen: If you had a kingdom, describe what it would look like.
wild witch: if you were to be a wizard, what power(s) would you have?
shy nymph: Do you like it when people flirt with you? How do you flirt ?
dark angel: Is there a secret you’ll keep with you until the end of time?
femme fatale: How many people have you kissed/seduced ?
rich doll: if you had all the money in the world, what thing would you buy first?
devilish beauty: post a selfie (or reblog an old one)
famous model: describe your favorite outfit//link clothing you’d like to buy

add more if u want ♥♥

3

Hide us from the wrath of the lamb.

Barbarians make the best rogues

DM: Okay so you enter the dragon’s cave. All around you is gold and various treasures. There is a large blue dragon sleeping beside what appears to be her egg.

Barbarian: I WANNA PUNCH THE EGG AND STEAL THE LOOT!
*rolls a nat 1 to punch the egg*

DM: Okay so the sight of the dragon temporarily confuses you, and you punch the pile of gold before grabbing the dragon egg and hauling ass.

Barbarian: PUNCH THE LOOT AND STEAL THE DRAGON!

Party: PUNCH THE LOOT AND STEAL THE DRAGON!

DM: The Dragon wakes up and notices her egg is gone and…

Barbarian: SEDUCTION ROLL!
*rolls a nat 20*

Party: *pounding our fists on the table* FUCK THE DRAGON! FUCK THE DRAGON! FUCK THE DRAGON!

for now (bucky barnes drabble)

hey babes! another halloween drabble bc i’m lame af!!! i hope you guys enjoy. it does get really playful really fast but it’s not steamy, if that makes sense? lol. either way, i fkn love bucky and i am infatuated with sebastian stan so god help us all, pls enjoy this! lmk what you think!

w: kinda sexy, language, character knock out (?), bucky barnes (no gifs are mine!!!!)

so sirens are a thing apparently and I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t walked in on one (looking like me) trying to seduce you. I don’t get it. what did it want with you and why the hell did it look like me? you hate me? (feat Bucky Barnes)

“James Buchanan Barnes, what the hell is going on with you?” As soon as you and your flatmate are alone, you turn to glare at him. “You could have cost us the whole mission!”

“Look, I didn’t do it on purpose! How the fuck am I supposed to know a siren, of all things, would seduce me! Before tonight, I didn’t even know what the fuck a siren was,” he rolls his eyes, slowly taking off his mask along with his other accessories.

“So you didn’t know she was a siren when you were kissing her under the stars? You don’t say?!” You take off your gloves and throw it at him, forcing him to turn around and look at you. “And you know that’s not why I’m grilling you.”

“So then why–?”

“I’m grilling you because she was me!” You walk up to Bucky, screaming in his face by this point.

“Y/N, Mr. Stark was wondering–”

“Friday, turn off all communication with the main tower, please. You can turn it back on in the morning,” you command the AI and he does as you request.

“So what?” You turn back to Bucky, giving him an incredulous look.

“So. What? Are you serious, James? Sirens only take on the forms of people you hold dear, of people you can be easily seduced by. Why the hell did that siren knock me out and take on my form?” You poke a finger against Bucky’s chest, demanding answers and all he does is scoff angrily.

“What, you think I’m into you or something, doll?” He chuckles, his chest vibrating with every breath. “Let me save you some time and breath and tell you that I’m not. I don’t like you. I’m not attracted to you. I couldn’t care less about you. Does that answer all your questions? Do you still think I-?”

You cut him off with a slap to the face and leave him stunned. He finally notices the angry, unshed tears in your eyes before you walk away, heart wrenching in his chest as you slam the door to your room and go on to ignore him for the next week.

“Ah, Y/N,” Tony looks you up and down, shrugging before handing you a drink. “At least you came in a costume.”

“What, the others didn’t?” You take the drink and down it all in one go, Tony giving you a questioning look.

“No, they didn’t. I sent them back to change, they should be back soon,” he watches you, handing you another drink and you down that one, too. “Alright, spill it kid. What’s bothering you?”

“It’s nothing alcohol won’t help,” you give him a smile and kiss his cheek. “Now excuse me, I’m gonna head into the crowd of friends you’ve invited and find myself a sugar daddy.”

“Y/N,” Tony rolls his eyes as you grab another drink and head to the crowd, shaking his head as worry sets over him.

Bucky walks in dressed as Batman. His eyes immediately scour the room looking for you, hoping that he’d finally have a chance to at least see you. Tony eyes him and sees you laughing with one of his colleagues. He turns around to tell Bucky off, but the others arrive, all in full costume per Tony’s demands. Once he hands everyone a drink, he tells them to go mingle and turns back around to look for you.

Bucky has the same idea in my mind. Only neither of them can see you. Just as panic begins to set in, you pop up with a slight smirk on your face.

“Looking for something?” You chuckle softly as you approach the two men.

Originally posted by itsjustmycrazyvibe

“Yeah, you, actually. Where did you disappear off to?” Tony furrows his brows, sensing something off, as Bucky gawks at you.

“Well I was talking to your friends, but they were kinda boring,” you shrug and grab another drink.

“Are you not drunk yet, Y/N?” Tony questions, but you’ve turned to face Bucky, straw in your mouth as he gulps.

“Are you thirsty, Buck?” You hold your drink out to him, licking your lips as he watches you. “Have some of my drink.”

Behind you, the gears in Tony’s head are spinning. He realizes this isn’t you. He’s just not sure how to relay the message to Bucky without alerting what he believes to be the siren.

Bucky, however, has also found out. While this sired was doing a damn good of distracting Bucky (and everyone else), she was doing a horrible job of being you. So while Tony starts scrambling in the back, Bucky smiles and leads her towards the terrace.

“Terrace, huh? That’s surpri-”

This time, Bucky cuts her off with a punch to the face, and by now, the whole team has gathered outside. Wanda and Vision offer to lock this one up while Bucky and Tony scramble to find you. They look all over the tower and come up empty handed.

“Hell, Stark. Where the hell could she have gone?” Bucky growls out, angry at both himself and at Tony for not keeping an eye on you.

“I’ve got no idea, Barnes, but god do I hope she’s okay. She was tipsy and upset and damn it I knew something was wrong, I just–”

“Guys?” You yawn and rub your eyes, wobbling in from the terrace.

“Y/N,” Bucky breathes out a sigh of relief, running over to you and picking you up bridal style.

“What the hell happened?” You yawn, absentmindedly snuggling against Bucky to warm yourself up.

“You, uh, you–”

“It was another siren,” Tony whispers and you immediately lift your head up, looking at the two men. “Bucky subdued this one and Wanda and Vision have locked her or it or whatever away for further investigation.”

“A, her. Sirens are all women. B, again?” You turn to look at a guilty Bucky. “For fuck’s sake, will you just–?”

“I’m going to take her to our place, she’ll get some proper rest and I’ll be sure to keep you guys updated. If you hear any loud angry noises, it’s probably Y/N protesting any sort of rest,” Bucky nods towards Tony who laughs as you begin protesting already.

Bucky ignores your anger, gritting his teeth every time you send a comment his way. As soon as you two enter your place, however, all of that goes flying out the door.

“Friday, cut all communication to the main tower. Tell Tony I got her here safe, and she’ll be resting,” Bucky puts you on the ground and stares you down. You try to hold your own, but the second he takes a step  towards you, you try to take a step back and your knee buckles under you.

“Easy, princess,” Bucky grabs you before you can fall, his arms tightening around you as you gasp, watching the man in front of you in awe. “You wanted answers?”

You nod, unable to trust your voice due to the proximity.

“Here’s something: I lied the other night. I really fucking like you. I am so attracted to you. I care about you.I could watch you all day and I’d still crave more of you. And god damn, Y/N,” Bucky shakes his head as you watch him, unable to look away. “You’re killing me tonight, both because of how you’re dressed but also because Tony told me you were looking for a sugar daddy?”

You laugh softly as Bucky gives you a questioning glance.

“I don’t quite know what that is and to be honest, I’m not sure I want to know. I can already tell that unless I’m your sugar daddy, I won’t like it,” his final words surprise you and you burst out laughing, Bucky still holding you as he awaits an answer to his unasked question.

“James, a sugar daddy is a generally older man who gives a younger woman money for her time and affection,” you chuckle as Bucky’s eyes grow wide and he’s left speechless. “And thank you for that confession. I really like you, too.”

Bucky’s eyes light up, his grin expanding as you smile softly up at him. He looks at you playfully and you raise a brow at him as he starts to speak.

“Well, I could-I mean I could still be your sugar daddy. Technically, I’m pretty fucking old,” he shrugs you nod easily, pretending to be deep in thought.

You wrap your arms around his neck, loving this caring, honest, protective side of Bucky. His arms tighten around your waist and he looks at you with a raised brow as you lean over, a small smirk on your face.

“How about we just start with daddy for now?”

anyone who tells you vox machina was more together than the mighty nein is lying

sure, they were already a family when the stream started, and sure, they managed to pull off some crazy shit, but then there was also the time they finally managed to accrue two immovable rods instead of just one, setting them up for all kinds of new strategies (like a portable endless ladder!)…and then immediately lost both while using them to open one (1) set of doors

i don’t get how people can defend a character that’s so transparantly evil? like she’s orchestrating the entire heartbreak of a completely innocent and noninvolved person by a boy who she fully knows likes her because some other boy she dated dumped her. i just … ?????