Burning Love

Context: Same game I’m playing as Animated Armor. It’s been a little while, since the lake incident and we’re just getting started with the next session. Our healer, the elf whom I get along well with in our party is now determined to find something to help me speak. (I can’t due to not having vocal cords) The Paladin hates me more than ever for having almost drowned him and forced him to walk around naked for a while.

*While in a tavern, the rouge is off trying to gather information for employment and the other two eat while I just stand around not really being of any use because there is nothing useful I can do at the moment when the elf turns to me*

Cleric: So…has anyone anyone worn you besides our dear [Human Paladin]?

Me: *shakes head*

Cleric: Oh so the Paladin was the first man ever inside you?

*Ooc the elf’s player is giggling her butt off at this point, and I nod to answer*

Paladin: What’s your point elf?

*She turned her head to the Paladin with the most wicked smile I’d ever seen on her*

Cleric: Why don’t you see? You’ve taken our poor fighter’s virginity!

Paladin: He’s a walking suit of armor! There’s nothing to take!

Cleric: How else is he suppose to be intimate?

Me ooc: I roll for embarrassment

DM: What?

Me ooc: I roll to see how embarrassed I am

DM: okay…uh..go for it, 20 sided, higher rolls means the more embarrassed you are.

*Me, rolls a 19*

DM: Your entire helmet starts to visibly glow red, prompting concern looks from the other patrons and revealing your secret crush that’s developed upon the Paladin since the ‘incident’

Paladin ooc: You serious?

Me: I run out the tavern covering my face from the embarrassment.

DM: Uh…run a perception check?

*Fails and proceeds to trip over a stool, my burning helmet/head then caught a rug on fire and burned half the tavern down and injuring several people. The rest of the session after we fled the town proceeded with the elf shipping me and the Paladin hard time*

A Bianca anda pelas praias cariocas enlouquecendo quem a encontra. Então o que você que mora no Rio está fazendo em casa? 

 Model: @biancaleaooriginal 

Apoio: Bella da Semana —+ #model #seductive #seduce #braziliangirl #brazilianmodel #sensualphoto #sensuality #sensual_art #colombianas #fiodental #bikini #braziliangirl #latin #latina #musa #model #girls #brasileiras

I’m writing a thing that takes place like 300 years after Paying Recompense because I have no self-control

Mystery Shack is still going strong for some reason

except it’s been expanded and there’s way more stuff and it’s basically like a paranormal museum

they have an actual mermaid who swims over from a lake and into the aquarium through a tube and she takes care of the fish and plants and sings Disney songs to entertain the children

but when no one’s around her favorite game is “Seduce the Demon” and she has already gotten both Dipper and Bill to sleep with her

she even got Bill twice

they’re pretty sure she’s half siren lmao

idk if this thing will even be worth posting but I just wanted to share that amusing anecdote with everyone

Accidental fem!Erik closet cosplay. Personally I feel like if someone asked me to describe Erik in three words “fluent in sarcasm” is pretty close to what I’d come up with. I’m slowly drifting from Matthew to Erik in terms of style and this worries me slightly. Don’t worry Maffy, you’ll always be my favorite. I just happen to have fuchsia hair and a penchant for witty t-shirts, and while you are very sassy your brother is the reigning sass master.
And since I tag Ethan whenever I do Matthew things, I feel like it’s only appropriate to tag thechristopherescalante in what is probably the first of many Erik things.


Hide us from the wrath of the lamb.