secretaries of state

Today I learned that Colonel Sanders of delicious crispy chicken fame was not a military colonel but a Kentucky Colonel

Though way back in the day Kentucky Colonels did have some manner of involvement in military, it basically just became like Kentucky knighthood where the only qualifications are “Kentucky thinks you’re cool”. Kentucky Colonels do not need to be from Kentucky. They don’t need to have lived in Kentucky. They don’t even need to have lived in America.

Other Kentucky Colonels include Muhammad Ali, Winston Churchill, Hunter S. Thompson, and Jeff Foxworthy, which is a failed Bill & Ted script just waiting to happen.

Anyways, Colonel Sanders had a goddamn wild life. Here’s some choice moments from his wiki page and and some other places:

-Faked his birthday to join the army when he was 16 and was honourably discharged a year later

-Worked on trains until he became a lawyer. Stopped being a lawyer after getting into a fistfight with his own client in the courtroom.

-Got a job selling life insurance and got fired for insubordination. After selling more life insurance for a different company, decided to start a ferry company.

-While acting as a minority shareholder and secretary for the ferry company, he became secretary of commerce in the state of Indiana. He quit a few months later because he “wasn’t very good at it”

-Sold his shares in the ferry company to start a company that produced acetylene lamps, which failed due to a competitors cooler electric lamps. Got a job selling tires, and then got laid off when the plant closed. Got a job running a service station, then got laid off when the station closed, because the Great Depression happened.

-Got a job at a different gas station owned by Shell and began selling chicken (!). Became the uncontested king of local chicken after his competitor showed up, tried to shoot him, shot a Shell official instead, and got convicted of murder.

-After his wife took their kids and left him to move back in with her parents, Sanders hid in the forest outside their house planning to kidnap the kids when they came outside. Got bored of waiting for them so he just strolled over to the house and talked it out with his wife and in-laws.

-KFC happened, being a colonel happened, he sold it but continued to be the company’s public image. Proceeded to randomly show up at various KFC franchises and insult them if they made it poorly. Continued to insult KFC’s parent company Heublin forever, including saying their food was gross and suing them for misusing his image. They tried to sue him for libel and were unsuccessful.

-He literally wore nothing but that white suit for the last 20 years of his life and also bleached his facial hair

-“According to a Thought Catalog synopsis of [his autobiography], Colonel Sanders was a servant of God, with a nasty mouth and a willingness to pummel a man with a chair”

-He has a publicly viewable file with the FBI that includes a paragraph that begins with “Colonel Harland D. Sanders has not been the subject of an FBI investigation” immediately followed by a paragraph of redacted text

I’m supposed to be up at 6am tomorrow but here I am reading about the chicken man. I don’t even know if I CAN sleep now

To Trump voters

Clears throat…

  1. He called Hillary Clinton a crook. You bought it. Then he paid $25 million to settle a fraud lawsuit.
  2. He said he’d release his tax returns, eventually. You bought it. He hasn’t, and says he never will. 
  3. He said he’d divest himself from his financial empire, to avoid any conflicts of interest. You bought it. He is still heavily involved in his businesses, manipulates the stock market on a daily basis, and has more conflicts of interest than can even be counted. 
  4. He said Clinton was in the pockets of Goldman Sachs, and would do whatever they said. You bought it. He then proceeded to put half a dozen Goldman Sachs executives in positions of power in his administration. 
  5. He said he’d surround himself with all the best and smartest people. You bought it. He nominated theocratic loon Mike Pence for Vice President. A white supremacist named Steve Bannon is his most trusted confidant. Dr. Ben Carson, the world’s greatest idiot savant brain surgeon, is in charge of HUD. Russian quisling Rex Tillerson is Secretary of State. 
  6. He said he’d be his own man, beholden to no one. You bought it. He then appointed Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education, whose only “qualifications” were the massive amounts of cash she donated to his campaign. 
  7. He said he would “drain the swamp” of Washington insiders. You bought it. He then admitted that was just a corny slogan he said to fire up the rubes during the rallies, and that he didn’t mean it. 
  8. He said he knew more about strategy and terrorism than the Generals did. You bought it. He promptly gave the green light to a disastrous raid in Yemen- even though all his Generals said it would be a terrible idea. This raid resulted in the deaths of a Navy SEAL, an 8-year old American girl, and numerous civilians. The actual target of the raid escaped, and no useful intel was gained. 
  9. He said Hillary Clinton couldn’t be counted on in times of crisis. You bought it. He didn’t even bother overseeing that raid in Yemen; and instead spent the time hate-tweeting the New York Times, and sleeping.
  10. He called CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times “fake news” and said they were his enemy. You bought it. He now gets all his information from Breitbart, Gateway Pundit, and InfoWars.
  11. He promised to never be the kind of president who took cushy vacations on the taxpayer’s dime, not when there was so much important work to be done. You bought it. He took his first vacation after 11 days in office. On the taxpayer’s dime. And went golfing. 

and that’s just the first month.

by Robert Reich

Update for Trump Voters


1. He said he wouldn’t bomb Syria. You bought it. Then he bombed Syria.

2. He said he’d build a wall along the border with Mexico. You bought it. Now his secretary of homeland security says “It’s unlikely that we will build a wall.”

3. He said he’d clean the Washington swamp. You bought it. Then he brought into his administration more billionaires, CEOs, and Wall Street moguls than in any administration in history, to make laws that will enrich their businesses.

4. He said he’d repeal Obamacare and replace it with something “wonderful.” You bought it. Then he didn’t.

5. He said he’d use his business experience to whip the White House into shape. You bought it. Then he created the most chaotic, dysfunctional, back-stabbing White House in modern history, in which no one is in charge.

6. He said he’d release his tax returns, eventually. You bought it. He hasn’t, and says he never will.

7. He said he’d divest himself from his financial empire, to avoid any conflicts of interest. You bought it. He remains heavily involved in his businesses, makes money off of foreign dignitaries staying at his Washington hotel, gets China to give the Trump brand trademark and copyright rights, manipulates the stock market on a daily basis, and has more conflicts of interest than can even be counted.

8. He said Clinton was in the pockets of Goldman Sachs, and would do whatever they said. You bought it. Then he put half a dozen Goldman Sachs executives in positions of power in his administration.

9. He said he’d surround himself with all the best and smartest people. You bought it. Then he put Betsy DeVos, opponent of public education, in charge of education; Jeff Sessions, opponent of the Voting Rights Act, in charge of voting rights; Ben Carson, opponent of the Fair Housing Act, in charge of fair housing; Scott Pruitt, climate change denier, in charge of the Environmental Protection Agency; and Russian quisling Rex Tillerson as Secretary of State.

10. He said he’d faithfully execute the law. You bought it. Then he said his predecessor, Barack Obama, spied on him, without any evidence of Obama ever doing so, in order to divert attention from the FBI’s investigation into collusion between his campaign and Russian operatives to win the election.

11. He said he knew more about strategy and terrorism than the generals did. You bought it. Then he green lighted a disastrous raid in Yemen- even though  his generals said it would be a terrible idea. This raid resulted in the deaths of a Navy SEAL, an 8-year old American girl, and numerous civilians. The actual target of the raid escaped, and no useful intel was gained

12. He called Barack Obama “the vacationer-in-Chief” and accused him of playing more rounds of golf than Tiger Woods. He promised to never be the kind of president who took cushy vacations on the taxpayer’s dime, not when there was so much important work to be done. You bought it. He has by now spent more taxpayer money on vacations than Obama did in the first 3 years of his presidency. Not to mention all the money taxpayers are spending protecting his family, including his two sons who travel all over the world on Trump business.

13. He called CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times “fake news” and said they were his enemy. You bought it. Now he gets his information from Fox News, Breitbart, Gateway Pundit, and InfoWars.

More to come.

7

Donald Trump and his senior staffers are all using unsecured email servers. Right. Now.

If you paid any attention during the presidential campaign, you know that Donald Trump repeatedly harped on Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server while she was Secretary of State. The controversy fueled the common “lock her up” chant at Trump’s rallies. And now something even more hypocritical and enraging about Trump’s staff information security has come to light.

 "Jet lag is really serious when you’re flying through time zones around the world,“ Clinton told Fallon. "And so, I would have to get off and go be ready to go to a public event to meet with the president or prime minister [or] leader of the country. And I’d be standing up there, digging my fingernails into my palms to keep myself awake.“ 

Remember. Hillary used to torture herself to stay awake. And this fucking joke of a SoS can’t manage a state visit after two months in office.
Go to hell.

So I’m not OLD old but I do want to point out that Bush was polling real fucking low before we all went to war in Iraq and that Thatcher was on the brink of irrelevance before the Falklands.

The fact that May’s cabinet* is being militaristic and belligerent toward Spain and that POTUS 45 has launched 50 warheads into Syria is a political act to solidify authority.

In the coming months the UK and USA are going to have patriotism and glory-baiting shoved down our throats.

So remember these things:

1) War is hell, don’t let your representatives condone it.

2) You can support the men and women in the armed forces as individuals without supporting the military-imperial business model.

3) Times of war are when leaders must be held the most accountable for their actions, not rallied behind for the greater good.

The UK Government has yet to issue any new statement regarding military action in Syria. This is not a good time to live in.

Peace is an open hand, not a Tomahawk warhead.

*EDIT: William Hague is a Tory Life Peer, former party leader, former First Secretary of State, and Former Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, among other titles. While not part of the Cabinet as claimed, he is still politically relevant.

bzfd.it
Live Updates: At Least Six Dead And 20 In Critical Condition, After Massive Fire Engulfs London Tower Block
Police have confirmed that at least six people have died and 74 people have been taken to six hospitals after fire tore through Grenfell Tower, north Kensington, shortly before 1am on Wednesday morning.
By BuzzFeed News

What We Know So Far

  • At least six people have died after an “unprecedented” fire ripped through a residential tower block in west London.
  • Twenty people are in critical condition. Seventy-four people have been treated and admitted to at six hospitals across the capital, the London Ambulance Service said.
  • The PM is “deeply saddened” by the “tragic” events. Sajid Javid, secretary of state for communities and local government, will chair an emergency Cobra meeting today.
  • The fire brigade was first called at shortly before 1am on Wednesday to Grenfell Tower in Latimer Road, north Kensington, London. Emergency responders were on the scene within six minutes.
  • Forty-five engines, 200 firefighters, and 100 medical personnel attended the scene, in addition to a number of police officers. Fire crews have reached the 20th floor, and a structural engineer, as well as urban search and rescue advisers, is monitoring the building.
  • Many residents are still missing. Witnesses said they saw people jumping from the building, and survivors have described how they managed to flee the building.
  • The cause of the fire is not clear.
  • The building, constructed in 1974, is 24 storeys tall and contains 120 homes, according to the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea.
  • Residents’ groups had issued numerous warnings in the past few years about the tower block’s fire safety provisions. Read more here.
  • An emergency casualty bureau number has been set up on 0800 0961 233.
Germany 101: German Federal Elections

On September 24th 61.5 million German voters will decide on the central decision in their democracy: who should represent them in Parliament and eventually govern the country? Elections to the German Bundestag (like our House of Representatives) are held about every four years, with the last election having been held in fall of 2013.

The Basics

In grade school, most Germans are taught about the five principles in the Basic Law which stipulate that the members of the Bundestag be elected in “general, direct, free, equal and secret elections”. “General” means that all German citizens are able to vote once they have reached the age of 18. The elections are “direct” because citizens vote for their representatives directly without the mediation of delegates to an electoral college. “Free” means that no pressure of any kind may be exerted on voters. “Equal” means that each vote cast carries the same weight with respect to the composition of the Bundestag. “Secret” means that each individual must be able to vote without others learning which party or candidate he or she has chosen to support.

Where Do You Vote?

Germans have the options of voting at polling stations for example in community centers or schools, or sending in their vote by mail.

So. Many. Parties.

Germany has a lot more political parties than the United States. This is due to the fact that the German electoral system uses a proportional system, which means that all parties get a share of the available seats that reflect their share of the popular vote. However, not to have too many political factions which would make the decision making process nearly impossible – and Parties can get pretty specific as to what they stand for – Germany implemented the “five per cent clause” which means a party needs at least five percent of the votes cast to be represented in the Bundestag.

According to the German Research Institute the following parties are likely to be represented in the next German Bundestag, as they are expected to satisfy the five per cent clause:

  • CDU/CSU (the Union parties): a political alliance of the two parties representing conservative Christian-democratic policies, political home of the current Chancellor Angela Merkel and part of the governing “grand coalition”
  • SPD: the center-left social democratic party promoting “socially just” policies, the other member of the currently governing “grand coalition”
  • Die Linke: “the left” party – a democratic socialist and left-wing populist party
  • BÜNDNIS 90/DIE GRÜNEN: the green party which traditionally focuses on topics such as environmental protection
  • FDP: the “free democratic” party - a (classical) liberal political party
  • AfD: a right-wing populist and Eurosceptic party newly founded in 2013

First and Second Vote

Voters actually have two decisions to make when they go to their polling booth.  This part can get tricky.

The first vote is for the representative of your district. There are 299 electoral districts in Germany and the winner of each district gets a seat in the Bundestag.

The second vote is debatably the more important vote, which is cast not for a person but for a party. The number of seats a party gets in the Bundestag is based on what proportion they get of the second votes. Since the first votes for district representatives take up 299 seats of the Bundestag, the remaining 299 seats are filled up by representatives of each party until each party is proportionally represented.

And now it’s going to get really complicated (also for Germans, believe it or not): In case a party gets more directly elected candidates by the first votes than proportional seats by the second votes, these candidates nonetheless remain part of the new Bundestag. This is called an “Überhangmandat”. The other parties then get seats added proportionally which makes the Bundestag even bigger. The last four years, because of this phenomenon there were in total 631 Members of the German Bundestag instead of the legally foreseen 598.

Coalitions

“Coalition” is not a word used in American politics. Coalitions are alliances formed by different parties in the Bundestag to end up with a group that makes up more than 50% of the seats. Traditionally the party with the most votes tries to form a coalition first. Typically coalitions have been comprised by two parties in the past, but in the future coalitions of three or more parties could be a reality. Why do this? Due to the voting system which is a proportional and not a majority one, this is in most cases the only way to create a majority in the Bundestag which is necessary to pass laws. The coalition parties tend to negotiate a coalition agreement at the start of their cooperation which lays out their policy goals for the coming legislative period. Though the majority party within the coalition typically has more sway in what stance the coalition will take on certain issues – such as who the Chancellor will be – the smaller party benefits from the coalition by typically receiving several Minister positions (think Secretary of State, Secretary of Defense, etc.) which are filled with members of their party. They might also enforce some stances on their core political issues as long as they can get the “bigger” coalition partner to agree in the negotiations.

Wrap Up

  • German elections are general, direct, free, equal, and secret
  • Germans vote in person or via mail
  • There are a bunch of parties to choose from representing the full political spectrum from far left to far right
  • Two votes: a first vote for a specific candidate representing your district and a second vote for your party determining the number of seats per party
  • A Coalition is formed after all votes are in to create a group that holds more than 50% of the Bundestag seats

Got more questions? Shoot them to us in the comments below!

Could have had Yale Law graduate, lawyer, First Lady of Arkansas, First Lady of the United States, two-time New York Senator, and Secretary of State.

2016 is proof a less qualified man can still beat the most qualified woman (even if she is the most qualified person –man or woman– to ever run for the Presidency). A woman has to play the game at so many levels to even be considered a capable candidate. Trump is a 4-times bankrupt propaganda artist that inherited his wealth from his Father.

But instead Middle America stole the election from the 3 million majority through the use of an archaic system known as the electoral college. Both of the last two Republican Presidents lost the popular vote. On the contrary, Obama won both the electoral college *AND* the popular vote.

Now we are stuck with a man far more dangerous than George W. Bush. Instead of opting for the most qualified candidate in history, we got the biggest con-man of all-time. Trump is in over his head and admits it: “I thought being President would be much easier.” – what a joke!

Hillary saw how hard the job was up close and personal twice – first with her husband and then with Obama. And yet she still wanted the job.

Elections have consequences. Buckle up!

lmao can someone pls remind the mcu fandom that tony stark is literally just. an engineer and the Avengers’ self-appointed PR guy? He’s their tech support? He keeps people off their backs because they don’t actually have any kind of….organization whatsoever there’s no chain of command short of “follow steve” there’s no contact info aside from “call someone’s cell phone and hope for the best” they’re a mess their emergency government liaison is a guy who spends most of his time building robot suits into every mode of transportation he can think of so that he doesn’t spontaneously combust out of sheer anxiety 

Like, he’s not even the CEO of anything anymore, he’s not an active duty Avenger, he’s not a government official, he’s definitely not influencing the collective wills and opinions of the governments and populations of 117 countries, he’s not influencing the United Nations, he’s not higher in the chain of command than the Secretary of State, he didn’t come up with the Accords, he’s not forcing the Avengers to do anything, he’s literally just trying to cooperate with the United Nations and trying to get the rest of the team to also cooperate with the United Nations in order to stop Bad Shit™ from being done to his team 

anonymous asked:

Tell me some weird shit™ that the founding fathers did

FOUNDING FATHERS SPECIFIC:

• Alexander Hamilton spelled Pennsylvania wrong on the constitution.
• Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be the Turkey.
• James Monroe, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson all died on July 4th- James Madison died seven days before July 4th.
• George Washington and Lafayette took a nap underneath a tree after The Battle of Monmouth.
• Two days before signing the Declaration of Independence all the delegates got super drunk.
• Benjamin Franklin basically was man whore in France.
• Benjamin Franklin wrote an essay on farting.
• Benjamin Franklin wasn’t allowed to write The Declaration of Independence because they thought he’d put a joke in it.
• Benjamin Franklin took “air baths” which involved sitting in a bathtub fully nude and writing.
• Benjamin Franklin purposely spelt Pennsylvania wrong on the US currency to defer from counterfeits.
• John Adams had a dog named Satan.
• Alexander Hamilton founded the New York Post coincidently he was involved in the first major political sex scandal
• While in England bromance Thomas Jefferson and John Adams visited Shakespeare’s house and vandalized a chair he used to sit in by chipping piece out of it.
• During the election of 1800 while bromance Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were broken up; Thomas Jefferson told everyone that John Adams was a hermaphrodite and John Adams countered telling everyone Thomas Jefferson was dead.
• Benjamin Franklin brought tofu to America.
• Thomas Jefferson brought Ice Cream and macaroni and cheese.
• Thomas Jefferson told Lewis and Clark to watch out for giant sloths.
• George Washington currently has $300,000 worth of overdue library books.
• George Washington didn’t know that Chinese people were white.
• During the battle of Germantown, George Washington found a lost dog and stopped everything just to return to dog safely to the British side.
• George Washington was deathly afraid of being burnt alive and asked in his will to be buried three days after his death.
• It’s actually Paul Revere on the Sam Adams.
• John Jay didn’t sign the Declaration of Independence, he is famed for framing it.
• Gouvernour Morris got a blockage in his dick and tried to cure it by sticking a piece of Whale Bone down his fucking penis hole. He got an infection and died.
• Thomas Jefferson having such bad social anxiety that he used to fake sick to get out of public interactions.
• Thomas Jefferson broke his wrist trying to inpress a girl.
• Benjamin Franklin volunteered in the fire department.
• Thomas Jefferson had about 7,000 books and when a Virginian Library burnt down he donated about 1,640 books to the library.
• George Washington was an amazing dancer.
• James Madison and Thomas Jefferson were once arrested for riding a horse carriage on a Sunday in Vermont. Which was illegal!
• Thomas Jefferson had a mockingbird named dick who ate from his mouth and shit.
• Alexander Hamilton’s son and his dying in the same spot just four years apart in the same way.
• Alexander Hamilton talking and talking after he was shot even thought he was fucking bleeding out.
• John Jay quitting politics and becoming a farmer.
• John Adams and Thomas Jefferson holding such a grudge against one another that Johnny didn’t even show up to his presidential inauguration.
• Thomas Jefferson only made two speeches during his presidencies. Both were his inauguration speeches.
• Lafayette giving John Quincy Adams a baby alligator as a gift.
• Andrew Jackson got kicked out of a funeral because his mocking bird kept saying fuck.
• James Madison “accidentally” shipping into US a ton of prostitutes. • Andrew Jackson beat the shit out of a guy trying to assassinate him with a cane.

• James Monroe and Alexander Hamilton almost getting into a duel which was stopped by Aaron Burr. • James Monroe served as both Treasury of secretary and Secretary of State.

(This list is getting too long- so I’ll stop there!)

The Tenth Floor pt 1

Min Yoongi had gone through 34 secretaries in the past 24 months, and each one of them left in tears. This fact alone should have warned you against taking the job, but the pay was too good to pass up. Surely you could put up with a billionaires temper-tantrums, right?

Reader x Yoongi

Genre: Fluff, humor, probably some angst

Warnings: Strong language at times


You certainly looked the part. Dress slacks, light-blue blouse, a blazer with the sleeves rolled up once. You were even wearing heels, much to your distaste. You had bought your slacks at a consignment store cheap, and they fit other than the length. You planned to either have them hemmed or buy new ones as soon as you got your first pay check, but for now you would have to survive without practical shoes.

The elevator you were standing in was basically a box of mirrors, and everywhere you looked you saw yourself. It was a little disconcerting, so you tried to focus on your phone. You felt the elevator stop, and you glanced up at the numbers on the wall. You were only on the fifth floor, so you guessed someone else must be going up as well.

You were right, and watched as two young men stepped into the elevator with you. The taller of the two gave you a smile as the other almost pressed the button for the tenth floor, noticed it was already lit up, and dropped his hand.

“You must be the new secretary.” He commented, and you raised your eyebrows.

“Yeah, how did you—“

“We know everyone on the tenth floor.” The taller man replied. “My name’s Seokjin, by the way.” He held out his hand for you to shake.

“Nice to meet you.” You said, giving them both a smile. “I look forward to getting to know you both.”

“Don’t count on it.” The second man snorted.

Seokjin shot the other man a look, and hit his arm lightly. “Jimin, don’t scare the girl off on her first day.” Jimin shrugged, unperturbed.

“What do you mean, ‘don’t count on it’?” You asked, and Jimin smiled.

“I mean, you won’t be around long enough to get to know us.” He looked over to Seokjin. “I’d give her a week, tops.”

Seokjin sighed. “Such a pessimist.” He chided before sizing you up. “She’ll last a month.”

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