First and foremost, every day is cranberry pie day
While students do have robes, the clothes they wear underneath the robes are not uniforms. There is an eclectic mix of tastes, from the very serious horned serpent who wears button-downs and ties every day, to the wampus who has enchanted their graphic t-shirt to move, to the thunderbirds and pukwudgies who mutually exist solely for sweater weather.
Every year on James Steward’s birthday, there is a school-sponsored cranberry pie bake-off. Pukwudgie house nearly always wins. Once, thunderbird won and good lord you would think it was the civil war all over again
There are a lot of local professors, of course, so you get some really thick Boston accents, but there are also professors with southern belle accents who serve iced tea in class, professors with Canadian accents, professors with midwest accents, several Native American professors with smooth, lulling accents, and some Mexican professors who slip into Spanish when they get super excited about their subject. There was a visiting professor from Ireland once, and 96% of female students (and some male students) had major crushes on him.
Wampus house is where you go to get body-crushing, soul-lifting hugs
Horned serpents may be scholars, but they are also some of the keenest observers. They watch the whole school from afar and quietly play matchmaker to all of their friends. No one suspects them because - what, horned serpent? No. They don’t know about emotions. Meanwhile, the house president makes a killing on the bet she made to predict the homecoming king/queen.
Thanksgiving at Ilvermorny is a spectacle that has to be seen to be believed. It’s almost bigger than Christmas. The thanksgiving feasts at Ilvermorny put Hogwarts to shame. Turkey, ham, real cranberry sauce, pies - oh my god so many pies. They’ve got cider, and tea, and cocoa like you wouldn’t believe. There are New English dishes and Southern dishes and Native dishes and Mexican dishes and Canadian dishes and West Coast dishes - essentially it’s a gigantic continental potluck, and it goes on all day long. Also, their pumpkin juice tastes 1000 times better.
While things like dueling and fighting with wands may be frowned upon at Hogwarts, at Ilvermorny it’s kind of just assumed that stuff happens, and the profs are very chill about it. “Just don’t kill each other okay” “just take it outside” “no casting destruction spells indoors” “bring some band-aids with you” “if you break your nose don’t bleed on your homework”
Pukwudgies are a pretty agreeable house over all, if not a bit salty and surly around the edges, they’ll still help you with your homework and bring you soup when you’ve got a cold. But all bets are off when they step onto the lacrosse field. Maybe its a pride thing, but pukwudgies are frikkin animals when playing lacrosse.
Wampus beats pukwudgie at lacrosse fairly often. They don’t actually practice that much, they just kind of win.
This fact has fueled a sports rivalry - friendly in wampus’ eyes, bloodthirsty in pukwudgie’s eyes.
At wampus/pukwudgie games, horned serpents sell special blends of popcorn. Thunderbirds purchase, hoard, and eat 89% of this popcorn.
Horned serpents and pukwudgies often, though not always, end up having an unspoken rivalry in potions class.
Contrary to popular belief, wampus is not full of athletic jocks. However, they are the most body-positive of all of the schools, and, somewhat ironically to the stereotype, will never judge anyone for their athletic ability. They want everyone to be able to enjoy athleticism and bravery and adventure in the ways they are most able and gifted.
That being said, they do have the kind of student body who, if called upon, could become a minute militia.
When there is a freak hurricane or tornado headed headed for the school, it will be a wampus student who is patrolling the halls and telling students where to go for safety. If there is a bully in school, you had better bet your bottom dollar that s/he will be beaten to a pulp by the next day, and it will be a wampus student sporting mysteriously bloody knuckles.
Pukwudgies are the ones who patch up the bully; they might accidentally wind the bandages a little too tight.
Thunderbirds love a good game of hide-and-seek. They have a tradition of, every halloween, playing hide-and-seek in the dark in the woods.
Horned serpents are the students least often caught for sneaking in contraband into school. Caught being the key word. Most students learn at some point in their education that if you want a nice stiff drink, you go to horned serpent. During secret designated holidays, horned serpent common room turns into a speakeasy.
Unexpectedly, it is pukwudgies who carry the most weapons and dangerous materials on their person at any given time. If a group of Ilvermorny students were going through a security check, it would be the pukwudgies held at the line while they emptied their pockets (bigger on the inside, of course) of various poisons and weapons. When asked, they would just shrug and say “just in case”.
The town around Ilvermorny is home to several franchised chain restaurants that, although they are no-maj brands, have been taken over by Ilvermorny alumni and thus serve predominantly wizarding patrons. Cups levitate to customers in the Starbucks, there are magic-only options on the menu; the chik-fil-a floor sweeps itself; at dominos the pizzas assemble themselves while the one clerk waits, bored, at the register. There are in-house cues for magic patrons whenever a no-maj walks in. The clerk rings a bell or taps loudly on the counter, or yells out an order than is actually a code word for stop doing magic stuff. It’s like red light green light.
There are some old service tunnels beneath the school left over from WWII and the Cold War. They’re like a labyrinth, and Thunderbird has a monopoly on the maps to the tunnels. Some of the more obscure tunnels have large rooms that are perfect for parties and impromptu speakeasies (lookin at you, horned serpent). Thunderbirds will rent out these rooms to fellow students at a fair and competitive rate.
Unlike hogwarts, Ilvermorny students are more apt to use modern technology. Electrics can be weird around witches and wizards, but they still enjoy a lot of no-maj programming. They use computers instead of quills (but still have to print off their essays, ugh,) and listen to music, and watch TV.
Star Trek has long been a school cult favorite. Pukwudgies have adopted Bones as their pop culture mascot; Kirk is Thunderbird’s, Spock, horned serpent. Wampus vacillates on which of these three they like most, though it must be said, when they start watching Next Gen, many wampus students find themselves enamored with Worf,
There has only been one no-maj to ever make it past the magic shields of Ilvermorny unaided. This instance was in 1985. His name was Chad, who at the time was 1) stoned out of his mind and 2) delivering chinese takeout to a horned serpent pulling an all-nighter. School admin found out later, and there was hell to pay. They never did track down Chad to wipe his memory.
Pukwudgie house does have more than its fair share of healers, so they are definitely the ones to go to for cold remedies, home made soup, the best cures for menstrual cramps, and really good back rubs.
However, they are also the ones to go to for less medical remedies: the best hot cocoa, the most gourmet teas, and home made food.
Each house has a class president who is elected for a two-year term (unless they’re a final year student, in which case they will serve one before being taken over by their VP). They have some influence within their houses, but never as much as they’d like. For instance, the thunderbird president once attempted to institute mid-day dancing parties, but school admin said no.
Pukwudgies are usually not super athletic, but are often very good at things like darts, archery, and waterbaloon fights.
Wampus takes ultimate frisbee very, very seriously.
Thunderbird hosts an ongoing scavenger hunt throughout the semester.
The women of horned serpent blow off steam and the stuffy acadmic pressures of their house by making pillow forts and watching rom coms with each other.
Back in the eighties some wizard created a magic version of D&D, and it has become a weekend favorite of many students across all of the houses.
After graduation, instead of having a class ring, it has become tradition for Ilvermorny students to make a pendant out of their golden cloak buttons.
Ilvermorny may be separated by inter-house squabbles much like at Hogwarts, but at the end of the day, they all leave school wearing the same blue and cranberry robes, sporting the same skill with a wand, raised to the same scrappy, witty, mod-podge tenacity that American witches and wizards embody so well.
The Serpents are totally gonna be the biggest Bughead shippers
Honestly, how can anyone think that the Serpents would get in between/force apart Bughead?
Like, helloo??? The son of FP Jones and the daughter of Alice Cooper, two extremely hot senior serpents, getting it on. Serpent babies making more serpent babies, what more could you ask for? How can they not ship that?!
Not to mention, it’ll be a symbolic FUCK YOU to Riverdale’s “upper” society if their resident Golden Girl turns out to be a secret serpent daughter whose currently bumping uglies with the Riverdale HERO you just ostracized???!!!
Summary: Jughead reflects on why the road trip with Archie meant so much to him; and when his deep, dark secret is exposed, he doesn’t know what to do.
Frankly, Jughead knew, deep inside him somewhere (even though it was probably buried so deep, it would have to be excavated), that Archie didn’t mean it. The redhead didn’t mean to leave his best friend waiting for three hours at the spot they’d meant to have met, instead opting to text him with five words- “Sorry Jug, can’t make it.”
To others, it seemed like such a small thing to stop talking about- one cancelled road trip, but to Jughead, it was going to mark a pivotal moment.
The moment when he’d tell his best friend, the one he can trust with everything, that no, Jughead currently didn’t have a home- only an excuse of one. He’d been debating whether to tell Archie, let alone his friends, for weeks, but had only now decided to accept that his living situation was just shitty and he needed help.
But of course, Archie didn’t show up, which just reiterated the doubt that had always lingered at the back of Jughead’s mind- what Archie was to him, he wasn’t to Archie.
What was so incredibly frustrating was that now, Jughead couldn’t tell anyone else. Even if he’d wanted to, when Archie drifted away, so did Betty, who was devoted to him. Who did he have to turn to now?
As he sat in the lunchroom if Riverdale High, blasting ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ through his earphones, his shoulders slumped.
Maybe he was talking to Archie, and consequently Betty, now, their friendship wasn’t what it used to be before.
And when Jughead found out later that Archie ditched their road trip so that he could ‘do the do’ with that pedophilic teacher on July 4th, Jughead couldn’t help but feel resentment boil inside him.
This is what their years spent hanging together in treehouses and sneaking behind their parent’s backs meant to him?
Therefore, Jughead couldn’t bring himself to admit that now, with the drive-on closing, he really might have no one to turn to.
Ignoring the strange sensation in his chest-sadness, if he wasn’t mistaken, he increased the volume of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, tuning out the din of the lunchroom, choosing instead, to focus on the titillating harmonies as his fingers tapped on his keyboard.
There were times, times like these, when Jughead truly hated Cheryl Blossom. No, despised her, and what she embodied- the rich bitch who could definitely not be trusted.
Yes, bad things had happened to her. Yes, her twin brother had been murdered. Yes, the murderer was still, in all likeliness, galavanting around Riverdale, and yes, all she could do was wait.
That still gave her no excuse to do what she was currently doing.
Phone in hand, evidence of what she was letting the rest of the biology class know -he didn’t know how Prof. Phylum could deal with her at all- that Jughead was hiding a deep, dark secret.
“We have a Serpent in our midst.” She said, turning around and shoving her phone in Jughead’s face. There it was. A picture of Jughead and his dad talking, that terrible day when he’d moved out of the driveway and into his father’s despicable house.
“And if those of you haven’t realised from this picture, it’s Jughead Jones, Riverdale’s resident writer.” With a smirk, Cheryl flipped her hair to one side and sat down.
Jughead put his head in his hands. If Betty, Veronica, and Archie weren’t there, then Jughead’s wouldn’t really have cared.
But they were, they were there, currently looking at Jughead with betrayal, hurt and disbelief on their faces.
Jughead put his head in his hands.
“Alright, class, enough.” Phylum said, only after regarding Jughead with disdain. “Back to dissection. The stomach…”
Jughead tuned out. What was once comfortable silence turned unconformable. He was ashamed, yes, and would give up nearly anything on the Earth’s surface not to be affiliated with his father, but right now, what choice did he have? His secret was out in the open, and there was nowhere for Jughead to run.
The Serpents… So what if the school found out? It was his friends that he was worried about.
He dared not to turn around and look at Archie’s expression, or Betty’s. He didn’t even bother thinking about Cheryl’s satisfied smirk.
Shit. They were going to find out that he had been homeless soon enough. They were going to raise questions about Jellybean, his mom, his entire life…. They were going to realise why’d he’d been so worked up about the Drive In shutting down.
Jughead was an outsider. Even though he pretended to be fine with it, he wasn’t.
After the pep rally, when he’d made up with Archie, he’d experienced a taste of something he’d been longing for- contentment.
Being homeless- those months were encompassed with loneliness- but hanging out with the gang at Pop’s- that was his ambrosia.
Now it was probably all gone.
When the bell rung, he didn’t bother waiting for his friends and made his way straight to the door, not making eye contact with anyone. Until Cheryl stood in front of him- hands on her hips, her ruby red lips angled upwards.
Neither said anything, but Jughead looked up and gave her the fiercest, deepest and most hatred-filled glare he could muster, gaining some satisfaction when the cheerleader shrunk back ever so slightly.
Ignoring her, he walked out the door into the hallway, paying no heed to the calls of Betty, Archie and Veronica.
It was like those cliché high school scenes- everyone turning towards him, whispers of serpents and secrets exchanged between them, hasty glares.
Honestly, he didn’t know what he was trying to achieve, running away from the blonde, redhead and brunette chasing after him. They were going to corner him eventually. When he realised this, he abruptly turned.
They almost crashed into him, taken aback. Betty looked at him. “Let’s take this somewhere else.”
She turned around, and Jughead followed.
“Juggie, what’s going on?” Betty asked, taking Jughead by surprise when he saw concern on her face.
“We want to hear it from you, not Cheryl.” Archie added.
All four of them sat at Pop’s, Biology having been the last period that day, and they’d conveniently forced Jughead into a corner booth, so he couldn’t boot.
Jughead sighed. What’s there to lose?
And so, he poured his heart out. He told them how his father had joined the notorious gang earlier that year, and how his mother had left a week later, unable to resolve her conflict with his dad, taking his dear Jellybean with her.
He talked about how he’d wanted nothing to do with his dad, even though he had no other choice. He spoke about the things he’d seen from his limited proximity to the gang- theft, assault, looting, pillaging, and that was just what he knew.
He told them how he’d stayed on his dad’s side at first, after being led to believe that this was the only option to get them out of the debt their parents were falling into. When Fred Andrews fired his dad, Jughead had naively believed that his dad could do only good.
His hatred began when he’d overheard the Serpents talking- and found out that his father had been feeding him pure lies.
So then, he’d moved out. He had discovered the Drive In- perfect for a temporary shelter. He’d even got a job there, which made it all the more suitable.
At some point, his father had come there and tried to reconcile- and Jughead had accepted. Now, whenever they encountered each other, Jughead tried to forget all the terrible things his father had done.
Jughead spoke about how devastated he’d been when the Drive In shut down. He’d said that it was almost his home- if only they’d known how literal he had been.
Those Twilight months were the lonely ones, he said, without even the company of his little sister to help pacify him. Now all contact he had to Jellybean was through a payphone near Twilight.
After Twilight shut down, Jughead had tried to find accommodation somewhere, but to no avail. Last week, he’d moved back into his father’s hovel, trying to spend as less time there are possible. His father tended to get drunk late in the night, and though nothing had been inflicted upon Jughead yet, he was not eager to stay.
But right now, he wasn’t spoilt for choices.
He ended his explanation with an “I’m sorry.” And waited.
Betty, sitting near him, looked at him, tears in her eyes and just hugged him.
Veronica, sitting across from him, grabbed his hand, and Archie said, “Jughead…”
Honestly, Jughead expected them to be angry.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Betty asked, hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t know. You guys were busy…”
“Bullshit.” Betty’s eyes narrowed. “Jughead, you’ve been through so much already, and you clearly needed help. We would’ve done everything we could! Right, Arch?”
Archie looked slightly guilty at failing to notice what his best friend had been going through all these months. “Definitely.” He said, and leaned forward. “Jughead, if you need a place to stay…”
Months of tension had finally been released, relief coursing through Jughead’s veins. A tear trickled down his smiling face, only encouraging Betty’s tears to fall and Archie’s eyes to water. Veronica massaged Jughead’s hand.
“Yes.” Jughead accepted. Yes, his family was still torn apart, and yes, his father still engaged in abominable activities in a very violent gang, but right now, Jughead could rest.
~You’re from the other side of the tracks, so, a lot of people from your side look down on you in disgust once they found out about your once kept secret romance with a Serpent. But you’re very happy and couldn’t be bothered to care what others think about you and your boyfriend.
~ Date nights at the White Wyrm ~ Beating your boyfriend every time at Pool and leaving rich.
~Lots of PDA, neither of you really caring who sees. ~ Everyone that sees just cheering you on, and whistling.
~ Everyone on the Southside is really supportive of your relationship.
~ Lots of sex.
~ Eventually deciding to get a place on the Southside since you really aren’t welcome on the other side of the tracks anymore. ~ Your boyfriend offering to take you in so you don’t have to worry about buying/renting your own place.
~ Chilling with all the other Serpents. ~ Your boyfriend getting jealous.
A/N: This was fun. I hope this is what you wanted. :)
To really get what I’m about to say, you need to understand. I goddamn love Levistus. He was the first Archdevil I used and understood as a character. I use him whenever possible.
Lately, I’ve been having to find reasons to keep him in my campaign.
Not that it’s his fault or that I find him any less interesting. Remember how I said @wesschneider reinvented Mephistopheles for me? He did the same thing to Geryon.
Pathfinder’s Geryon is one of those awesome, memorable NPCs that just sticks with you. Based on the image above, you may think Geryon is a triple-bodied humanoid with three snake tails. In actuality, Geryon is a triple-bodied snake that can vomit forth the torsos of anyone it has consumed. That’s just metal in all of the right ways for a Lord amongst devils. Add on to the fact that Geryon is actually an asura rana that Asmodeus somehow convinced into betraying the other ranas, along with kyton demagogues and gigas warlords?
Best. Archfiend. Ever. (And you know I love me some archfiends)
So how do we resolve the continuity snarl that is the Reckoning of Baator while still keeping Geryon an Archfiend and a relevant NPC? What I have done is create a new Archfiend position: Hell’s Traitor. This archfiend acts as a foil for all of the others and plots against Asmodeus openly. Sometimes, I stick with Planescape’s cannon and say Geryon got demoted to Hell’s Traitor after the Reckoning. Other times, Geryon emerges unscathed, and Levistus is Hell’s Traitor (and let’s be honest, he basically is already). If I want to get really tricky, I have Geryon and Asmodeus pull a long con on everyone to convince them that Geryon is out of favour when he’s really the real ruler of Styigia. Fun times with the Source of Lies.
Geryon is surprisingly popular amongst the Dustmen. The Sources of Lies has one central aphorism, “you are the lie.” Dustmen take this to heart and try to understand all the ways that lies bind the soul to the world of False Death. That doesn’t necessarily make them more truthful, but they certainly are reflective and deliberate in their actions.
History is nothing but a set of lies we agree upon. While the truth may be the goal of historians, all scholars of the past must make inferences that are based on their own biases and preconceptions, which introduce misconceptions and falsehoods into the historical record. The Blasphemers of the Pasts are a group of Guvners who worship Geryon and make it their business to study these unintentional lies so as to ferret out the secrets of the unwitting liers.
The relationship between Geryon and Abraxas is one of the few strong ties across the Abyss and Baator. Both Fiendish Lords are masters of secret knowledge and serpents who have a very loose relationship with the truth. Surprisingly, they carry little more of a grudge than a friendly personal rivalry with each other. That friendliness does not automatically extend to their priests, but the celestial planes find it very concerning none the less.
Note: I decided a while back not to do any archfiends until Book of the Damned comes out, barring something major happening. Well, something happened.
Wes announced today that he is leaving Paizo to move on to his next step in life. It’s a really bittersweet moment. I’m happy because Wes is excited about this change, but he has written some of the most awesome things at Paizo. His contributions to the game over the last decade will be sorely missed. I think my favourite day writing this blog was the day that I saw Wes was following me and I absolutely freaked out because I thought my writing was nowhere near good enough to warrant Paizo’s Editor-in-Chief enjoying it.
Wes, thank you for everything you’ve done. You are a wonderful human being and an inspiration to us all, both for the stories we tell and the radical kindness and understanding you show in your day to day life. I wish you all the best and I dearly hope that one day I get to work with you to make our little corner of the world a bit more awesome.
But why did FP say that to Alice????? Was she a secret serpent or related to them somehow????? Did they ever date or something???? I can't 😩😩😩
They definitely have some sort of history, Alice is from the wrong side of the tracks! I wish they don’t have any history romantically since I don’t want them to fuck up Bughead in any way, but who knows 👀😱
Potential villains for season five of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
With AoS Season five becoming more and more likely I have compromised a list of villains that can be used for season five INSTEAD of Hydra. Like I get they are SHIELD’s big bad but they do have people other than HYDRA they can use. These are just my opinions. (Note: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 spoilers)
1) AIM: Easily SHIELDs number two villain from the comics. A lot of history between SHIELD and AIM. Aldrich Killian’s group was taken down in Iron man 3 but there could be other branches. Two leaders would be a good choice that would be very good for the show.
A) Andrew Forson: He has history with both Bobbi and Daisy in the comics. He brainwashed Bobbi and turned her against SHIELD Agents and got Daisy kicked off her position as Director of SHIELD. Very sinister and would be a good choice.
B) Monica Rappaccini: A more classic AIM leader and she has history with Bruce Banner that would tie them to the over all MCU. She has a super powered daughter (Carmilla Black who goes on to be a SHIELD agent/hero) so it would probably be a good parallel to Daisy and Coulson’s relationship.
2) Zodiac: Bunch of Crazies. But they are lead by Nick Fury’s brother Jake Fury. With how close Phil and Nick are it would be interesting to say the least. Plus maybe another Nick Fury cameo. Already mentioned in the MCU in the Agent Carter One Shot.
3) Taskmaster and his Academy: This would be interesting. Tony Masters was a SHIELD agent who took an experimental serum that gave him the ability to copy anything he sees (he sees a backflip he can preform a backflip. He sees the piano being played he can now play that tune. Etc) he also tan an Academy that created mercenaries. In the Ultimate Spider-man cartoon he recruited young powered people it would be really interesting to see that played out on AoS.
4) (Guardians spoilers) The Kree: we saw a major Kree city taken down in the climax of GotG2. It would be interesting to see if the empire decided to come back to earth for their “cannon fodder” so that they can better equip themselves to defend their home world.
5) Tribe of Lor: The EP have hinted at more of the Secret Warriors coming around and the Tribe of Lor would be a good foil to the team. They’re pretty much Inhuman extremists and would be cool to see them go up against the Warriors. They would probably be the Brotherhood if Mutants to The Secret Warriors X-Men. They were lead by Lash in the comics.
6) Serpent Society: Captain America villains that would be an interesting choice to see. Almost what the Villain for CA:CW was
also for hidden object recs I really enjoyed the nancy drew dossier series, altho that might be partially bc as a kid I loved the full size nancy drew games so it's got a certain nostalgia factor. Also Midnight Mysteries is a hidden object series has a bunch of different games and I've enjoyed all the ones of those I've played. There's 9 clues: secrets of serpent creek+a sequel I haven't played yet Plus there are some decent ios apps and since they're all free they're worth at least checking out