Nine nice surprises
1. The dead are rising from their graves. They have come to tell us that actually the afterlife is really great and not to be worried about them, they just thought we might want to know, nice to see you again, back off home now.
2. An ancient scroll in a long-forgotten language is discovered beneath the Vatican. Judging by the pictures, it is a document on the keeping and care of kittens. For several years, most of the world’s conspiracy theorists devote themselves to obtaining obscure kitten facts in the hope of being able to translate the text.
3. A super-secret government project is working on a virus which could transform human life as we know it. The laboratory fully and successfully abides by strict biosecurity protocols. The project is eventually scrapped, and all samples destroyed, when it turns out that the virus only works on mice.
4. Your business recieves an order for piranhas and tigers to be shipped to a sinister underground base on a remote island. This is because the base is being converted into a wildlife park in the hope of attracting tourists, having failed to sell at auction to any villains because of a worldwide lack of demand.
5. It appears that an asteroid is headed straight for Earth. This is because intergalactic mail vessels are usually constructed inside asteroid shells. As it turns out, this is Earth’s first shipment of intergalactic mail. There are enough alien junk mailshots to keep all of science and quite a lot of religion and politics busy for a very, very long time.
6. You start a relationship with someone who, unknown to you, has amazing mystical powers and is liable to be drawn into titanic struggles for the future of the Universe at any moment. It is quite a fun relationship and you remember it fondly. You both agreed to call it a day after a few months due to clashing schedules, but you remain friends and the parting was pretty amicable.
7. A giant tentacle rises from the sea South of Tokyo, enthusiastically waves hello, and disappears back forever into the ocean from whence it came.
8. You defeat a charismatic and sexy villain. They stay defeated.
9. A maverick scientist has brought velociraptors back to life. They are small and oddly cute, and they turn out to make great pets.