secret armadillo

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Brazil’s remote Pantanal, covering more than 80,000 square miles, is the largest tropical wetland in the world. It is chiefly made up of flooded grassland with patches of dry savannah or forest and home to a large and diverse wildlife population, including one of the most ancient of living mammals, the highly secretive Giant armadillo. Hotel …

Explore the life of the highly secretive Giant Armadillo. #HotelArmadillo

Pointless

By AllyinthekeyofX

Dialogue only for @xfficchallenges

They are driving.  It’s in-car dialogue and dialogue isn’t my strong point but I tried!  Thanks as always to @guitargirl48 for being my fic rock and telling me it wasn’t too crap.


POINTLESS 

“Hey Scully, you want to play a game?….eye spy? Make the trip pass faster.”

“Mulder, in case it hasn’t registered through your layers of obsessional focus - the same obsessional focus that dragged me out of bed at 4am on a  precious saturday morning to go haring half way across the country on what will probably be yet another wild goose chase, I should probably point out that it is still dark outside”

“There are lots of things we could see in the dark Scully.”

“lots of things YOU could see in the dark Mulder.  I on the other hand just want to sit here and try to persuade my body that it’s still under the influence of restful slumber.”

“Do I take that as a no?”

“Yes.”

“Yes no or yes yes?”

“What?”

“Yes you want to play a game or no you want me to shut the hell up?”

“Mulder you don’t have to shut the hell up.  I kind of like it when you talk..”

“You do?”

“Yeah.  The sound of your voice puts me to sleep.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Ok.”

“Mulder are you sulking?”

“No.”

“You are.  You’re sulking because I won’t play a game…..oh for fuck sake. Will you stop it?”

“Stop what?  I’m not doing anything..”

“You’re doing that thing with your face…that kicked puppy thing.”

“Kicked puppy thing?  Scully you’re delusional.”

“No.  I’m not at all.  Every time you don’t get your own way you pull this face….”

“Awww Scully you look kind of cute all wrinkled up like a baby armadillo”

“Eyes on the road Mulder, right now.”

“You were the one who told me to look at your face….your armadillo face…your cute wrinkled armadillo face…hey Scully did you know that armadillos are genetically predisposed to only giving birth to quadruplets?  Pretty cool huh?”

“Amazing.  I’ve been waiting my whole life to unlock the secrets of armadillo procreation.  Thanks for that.”

“Ok, how about this one.  Horses lack the ability to breathe through their mouths.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yes”

“How?”

“Mulder I just know.  I don’t know how I know.  How the hell do you know that armadillos only give birth to litters of four?…sometimes we just know pointless bits of information and our brains store it for no other reason than to annoy our FBI partners at 5am on a saturday morning.”

“No information is pointless Scully.”

“Yeah well, I’ll grant you that all information has a certain relevance to someone, but it’s all relative as to how much weight we allot to any given subject.  For example, did you know that brain freeze is actually an accepted medical condition?”

“Brain freeze?  As in eating ice- cream- too- fast brain freeze?”

“Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia; commonly known as brain freeze”

“I love it when you talk medical Scully.  Okay, did you know that comparative to body mass, a barnacle has the largest penis known in nature?”

“You just made that up.”

“No I swear it’s absolutely true. Why do you think lady barnacles always look so happy?”

 “Hmmm okay, well did you know the ‘dot’ over the top of the letter j is called a tittle?”

“Not bad Scully.  But yes I did and I’m never adverse to a nice tittle.”

“Mulder that was terrible even by your standards.  Ask me another.”

“Another what?”

“Another pointless fact question.”

“I thought you wanted to sleep? Okay, pointless fact about sleep.  Did you know that before the introduction of colour television, only around 15% of people dreamed in colour?  Now it’s more like 82%  I mean how weird is that?  It’s like The Wizard of Oz….everything in black and white and then suddenly there it is - a technicolour landscape laid out for the taking.  Makes me wonder if our dreams are somehow subconscious links to our viewing habits.  That if I watched nothing but cookery shows I would dream in smell-a-vision….it’s a whole new spin on waking up and smelling the coffee….in fact on the subject of coffee, I could use some caffeine right about now.  What say we pull over at the next………oh.”

(Whispered) “Hey Scully, did you know that sea otters hold hands when one is sleeping to ensure they never drift away from each other?…..”

End

  • Katara: the king is having a party at the palace tonight for his pet bear.
  • Aang: you mean platus-bear?
  • Katara: no, it just says bear
  • Sokka: certainly you mean his pet skunk-bear
  • Toph: or his armadillo-bear?
  • Aang: gopher-bear?
  • Katara: just "bear"
  • Toph: this place is weird