secret agreements

Ceres in the Houses: The Extremes of Life

Besides showing how we nurture and want to be nurtured, Ceres also deals with our highs and lows- the brilliant highs and dizzy joys of the times we have what we want, and the darker days when we completely lose our faith. 

Wherever Ceres is placed [click here to find], that’s where you face the most intense issues, and experience the most intense happiness. The highs and lows come in a cyclical way:

Ceres in the First House
Your personal appearance, your reputation, your persona, your profile
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Enormous self-confidence about one’s unique personality
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Severe identity crises 

Ceres in the Second House
Your money, your talents, your possessions, your self-esteem
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being capable of getting anything
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Suddenly realizing nothing that was gained matters after all

Ceres in the Third House
Your words and ideas, your life on the internet, your speech, writing
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being heard and respected for one’s mental capacities
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Having one’s ideas completely rejected, ignored or ridiculed 

Ceres in the Fourth House
Your family, your hometown or country, your home, your roots
- Typical manifestation of the highs: An incredible sense of belonging
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Trying so hard to fit in but not being able to

Ceres in the Fifth House
Your children, your lovers, your art, your leisure time
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Feeling as if one’s creativity is at its peak and anything can be done
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Feeling devoid of any artistic skills at all, feeling empty and not being able to tap into one’s imagination

Ceres in the Sixth House
Your body, your working life, your housework, your duty and service
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being incredibly productive and efficient, full of energy
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Not being able to get anything done, feeling ill and stressed out without concrete reasons

Ceres in the Seventh House
Your former, current or potential partners, your enemies or rivals, justice
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being able to understand others completely, having others trust you fully
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Feeling isolated and left alone, being ostracized, having the hunch that someone’s planning something against you

Ceres in the Eighth House
Your financial or property agreements, secrets, sexual relationships
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Having all your bills taken care of, being trusted enough to to manage other people’s resources
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Having to borrow money but not being able to pay it back

Ceres in the Ninth House
Your travel, foreign, educational or publishing agenda
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Achieving a state of full understanding of the concepts you were studying/investigating/contemplating
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Being stuck in a series of sticky situations & not being able to do anything to escape

Ceres in the Tenth House
Your career, your reputation, social status
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Getting a promotion, being publicly congratulated/praised for having done such a great job 

Ceres in the Eleventh House
Your friends, your groups, clubs, teams, societies or committees
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Being able to contribute greatly to the causes you’ve been supporting
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Being denied a saying in what happens in your group/association, being expelled from it 

Ceres in the Twelfth House
Your secrets, your unconscious mind, psychology, the psychic world
- Typical manifestation of the highs: Understanding the self completely, interpreting your dreams, tapping into the unconscious
- Typical manifestation of the lows: Feeling divided, feeling lost/broken and as if one’s identity has been shattered

-crystal melbourne | within the zodiac | “where’s my Ceres?”

Kiss me (Vernon scenario)

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Vernon/ Reader

The room was filled with heavy panting and slurping. You bobbed your head until his cock hit the back of your throat and he released a breathy moan, tangling his fingers in your hair and accidentally thrusting into your mouth. You somehow managed not to choke and swallowed hard around him, hearing his soft moans.

Shit” you heard him say when he felt your hands caress his belly under his shirt while circling the head with your tongue, his legs shaking and almost collapsing. You sucked around the tip and then swallowed his entire length in one go scratching his abdomen until you reached his hips. That made him lose the little self-control he had left. He held your head with both of his hands and fucked your mouth roughly, cursing under his breath.

“N-noona” he called you.


“Ooh-fuck! Noona… Haa-Look at me” he pleaded.

You looked up and met his lidded eyes. That was all it took for him to come undone, pushing your head down and releasing his load down your throat. This was the first time you saw him cum that much.

“So pretty…” you heard him murmur while you struggled to swallow all of his seed. That’s when you noticed his eyes never left yours. He was still watching you in awe. He really was acting strange today.


You were about to give up and let your friend go back home by herself but it wouldn’t be fair considering how many times she had taken care of your drunk ass before so you continued looking for her in each available room of the house, ignoring the random guys trying to dance with you and the stoned people trying to make you join them. The party was out of control and you heard the neighbors complaining so you were sure the cops would arrive anytime. You went up the stairs, knowing that you would probably find people banging but it was the only placed you hadn’t searched for her. You opened two doors and saw exactly what you were expecting before continuing your quest. When you reached the third door, you recognized her voice mixed with somebody else’s. You didn’t want to cockblock her but you needed to be sure she was ok so you opened the door carefully without them noticing and that’s when you saw something that completely ruined your night: She was having sex with the man she knew you had a crush on. Slowly you closed the door and kept on walking until you reached the next door, opening it, getting in and locking it behind you. You were trying to process what you had just seen, thinking that you could convince yourself that the alcohol had made you imagine things… but you hadn’t drank anything at all.

“Y/N noona? Are you okay?” said a shy voice. Your eyes snapped open and you saw Vernon sitting on the bed.

“Oh- Sorry, I didn’t know there was someone here” you said with a monotone voice. “I’ll leave you alone now.”

“You can stay, I don’t mind.” he said shrugging “A friend told me I could sleep in this room but…” he stopped awkwardly and you could hear the loud moans coming from the room your ‘friend’ was in “…I don’t think I will be able to sleep anytime soon.” He said drinking some vodka from a bottle.

“…Can I have some of that?” you asked deciding that you could use some alcohol. He offered you the bottle and smiled. Had his smile always been this beautiful? You took three long sips as you felt his worried eyes on you.

“Hey, easy…It’s pretty strong.” He warned but you ignored him and took one more sip before giving it back to him. He seemed to be about to ask something when you two heard the loud banging of the bed’s headboard against the wall that separated the two rooms, followed by screams of pleasure.

“Well,” he said moving around uncomfortably “at least someone is having fun.”

Instead of replying you went to reach for the bottle on his lap again but you accidentally touched his groin and he gasped. You looked down and saw that he was half hard, which made sense considering the show they were putting on next door. You looked up again and saw his eyes, darker than usual, looking at you with uncertainty. You pressed the palm of your hand against his pants and his eyelashes fluttered, his perfect teeth biting his lower lip.  He was gorgeous. How come you hadn’t noticed how handsome he was before? There was a literal angel there, his cock hard against your hand willing to let you touch him. Fuck your friend. Fuck your crush.

You slowly opened the zipper and palmed him through his boxers, squeezing until there was a dark stain of precum on them. His chest was already rising and falling heavily when you pulled his cock out and started jerking him off slowly. He sighed and took another sip of vodka, offering you the bottle. You gladly drank some and moved your hand faster. He rested his head on your shoulder whining and thrusting up until your hand was sticky with cum and he was trembling from head to toes. You didn’t have time to say anything because you heard loud noises coming from the first floor. You cleaned your hand and he put his soft dick back into his pants when you heard a loud bang on the door.


You looked at each other and left the room running, getting lost in the crowd and going separate ways.

You never talked about what happened but, after that night, there was something like a secret agreement between the two of you. Whenever you met at a party, you would act like nothing happened between you and then you would find a place to be alone so you could jerk him off or go down on him. None of you said anything afterwards. You didn’t have anything to say, you simply enjoyed seeing his angelical face twisting in pleasure but that was it. He didn’t say anything because he never had the time; you always left as soon as he reached his orgasm. He had tried to touch you or return the favor a couple of times but you always told him it wasn’t necessary before saying “I’m leaving first.”

Jeonghan was the first one to notice the way Vernon looked at you and he asked you what was going on.

“Nothing” you said honestly.


He caressed your cheek softly and continued thrusting into your mouth weakly until his cock softened completely and you released it coughing a little. After putting his cock back into his pants, he kneeled in front of you and cleaned the corner of your lips, smiling sweetly before leaning in for a kiss but you backed off, looking at him confused. You had never kissed before. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds before his hand caressed your thigh, making his way under your skirt.

“You don’t have to, really.” You said understanding his intention and standing up but today he didn’t seem to be in the submissive mood. He grabbed your hips and pinned them against the door, holding your skirt up, kissing your thighs very close to your panties.

“Hansol, really-“you tried but the only thing that left your lips after that was a loud gasp when you felt him giving an open kiss to your wetness.

His teeth grazed your clit and one of his hands reached the hem of your panties, pulling them down but you quickly held them in place with both of your hands. He looked up, his eyes full of defiance.

“You’re soaking wet, noona.” He said.

“I’m fine.” You lied. You wanted him badly but something in your mind kept telling you it was a bad idea to let this become a mutual thing. He tried to pull them down once more but your grip was strong.

“Fine.” He said before moving your panties to the side a little and flattening his tongue against your clit. You couldn’t help the loud moan that escaped your lips. One of his hands made its way to your entrance slowly pushing one finger inside of you. He kept thrusting it in and out at a torturing pace, his tongue drawing small circles over the sensitive nub.

“H-hansol!” you tried to push him away but whenever your hand left the hem of your panties he would try to take them off so you decided to keep your hands where they were, stomach contracting feeling the pleasure building inside of you. “Oh my god- Hansol… HANSOL!” you almost screamed when he pushed two fingers inside of you sucking on your clit and humming. You tried to move away from him but he growled and used his forearm to pin your hips against the door again. His fingers moved faster and you soon reached your climax shaking uncontrollably, your legs finally giving in.

He caught you right before your knees hit the ground and lied you down. You didn’t have time to react before he was burying his head between your legs again. You screamed out of pleasure and oversensitivity.

“Wait! I- Aaah… I can’t, Hansol.” You sobbed but he only licked faster, holding both of your legs around his head and moaning against you like he couldn’t get enough of you, driving you crazy. Soon you found yourself praising him and encouraging him with words like “Yeah, just like that. Right there…” and “Mmh you really know what you’re doing.” Your hands grabbed his soft hair when you felt your second orgasm hitting you, moaning so loud you were sure everyone heard you even though the music was incredibly loud out there.

You couldn’t move for a few minutes after that, feeling him kissing your thighs and then your left knee, looking at you tenderly.

“Why did you do that?” you finally asked.

“Why not? You’ve made me come many times.”

“Yeah, but I do it because I like it.”

“Me too.” He replied while one of his hands moved back to play with the hem of your panties. “Next time I’m ripping them off.” He said his voice dropping an octave.

You looked at him shocked but he only stared back expressionless before standing up.

“I’m leaving first.” He said fixing his clothes and going back to the party.

You sat up and looked at the wall in front of you and then suddenly the realization hit you. You were always the one in charge but now that he had stopped following your orders you understood how dangerous the situation was. You never let him touch you because you knew you were starting to fall for him but were in deep denial. You tried to relax and think rationally: it hadn’t been more than a couple of months since you had started this ‘secret encounters’ so all you had to do was find someone else to hook up with and you would forget about Vernon.


You started going to random clubs instead of the typical parties at your friends’. You needed to find someone new and avoid seeing Vernon. You had had a few one night stands the last few weeks and they were ok… but no one had made you cum as hard as Hansol. You even said his name while sleeping with a random guy but you weren’t giving up tonight, you were going to get laid.

You were dancing sensually with a tall handsome stranger while he was kissing you and his hands wandered under your clothes. You were about to invite him to your apartment when you heard your name.

“Y/N noona?” said a familiar voice. You turned around to see Dino, barely standing up. “Noona, thank god-Please h-help me…”

“Dino? What are you doing here? What’s wrong?” you asked reaching for him right in time. He was so drunk his legs didn’t even work properly anymore.

The man behind you was getting impatient because you were in the middle of something but you eventually told him to fuck off. You could get laid any other day but you needed to get Dino out of there.

“Hey, Dino. Come on, let’s go outside. You need some fresh air.” You said but he was so heavy that it took you at least 10 minutes to take him outside. He sat on a bench, hiding his head between his knees but never letting go of your hand while apologizing to you.

“It’s ok. I’m glad I was here to help you. I’m calling S.coups, ok?” you said caressing his hand but he raised his head so fast he felt dizzy and begged you not to call him.

“Dino, I have to call someone. I can’t carry you by myself.”

“Y/N noona?” called someone behind you and now you definitely wanted to die because you knew exactly who it was.

“Hansol…” you murmured.” What are you doing here?”

“Dino called me and he sounded drunk as fuck so I came to find him… What are you doing here?” he asked suspiciously.

“I was…dancing.” you said.

“…Did you come alone?” he asked glaring at you but you couldn’t answer because Dino groaned and you both turned your attention back to him.

“Hey man, I’m taking you back to the dorm. Let’s go.” He said gently but Dino just squeezed your hand and said he didn’t want to.

“S.coups hyung is going to kill me.” He sobbed.

“We can’t just stay here forever. You need to sleep.” Said Vernon pulling his arm to make him stand up.

“Noona, can’t I stay with you instead?” asked Dino.

You and Vernon looked at each other.

“Don’t you think they’ll get worried-?” you started but were interrupted by Vernon.

“I’ll text them and tell them that we were visiting you but it was too late to go back home.”

“…You’re staying at my apartment too?!”

“Is there a problem with that?” he asked looking into your eyes.

“No, of course not.” You replied before Dino hugged you.

“Thank you…” he said relieved.

Once you got to your apartment, you made Dino eat a sandwich and drink some water before he apologized again.

“Dino, I told you it was fine. Stop apologizing.” You said petting his hair.

“But I interrupted something important, noona. You were about to have a great night and I ruined it” he said drunkenly. You felt yourself blush and tried to make him lie down on the couch.

“What are you talking about?” asked Vernon curiously.

“It’s the alcohol.” You said quickly taking Dino’s shoes off but Dino continued talking.

“The dude who was kissing you. His hands were inside your jeans and I ruined everything. He should be here instead of us.”

There was a dead silence in the living room, only interrupted by another apology by Dino and then he finally fell asleep. You put a blanket over him and gave Vernon another blanket and a pillow before going to your room, quickly taking your pants and bra off and sliding under the covers and pulling them over your head and falling asleep.

In the dark of the night you heard your name and opened your eyes to see Vernon sitting next to you on your bed, staring at your face. When you finally understood it wasn’t a dream, you sat up immediately.

What are you doing here?” you hissed.

“We need to talk.” He said simply.

“About what?” you played dumb.

“About giving each other mind blowing orgasms and then pretending nothing happened, for example.” He replied. He looked tired and not willing to deal with your mind games.

“Hansol…it just happened, there’s nothing to say.”

“It just ‘happened’” he repeated. “Just like the guy Dino mentioned, right?”

“I don’t owe you any explanation. I met a man at the club and I’m an adult so I can do whatever I want.”

“So that guy and I…Are we the same?” he asked.

“Yes.” You lied… but you didn’t get the reaction you were expecting from him. He smirked and caressed your face.

“You’re lying.”

“Excuse me?”

“Dino said he saw you two kissing.”


“You have never let me kiss you.”

“I don’t see your point.” You said but you did see his point. You just wanted to make him believe he was wrong.

“You let a random guy you just met kiss you and touch you because it doesn’t mean anything to you… However you know if you let me do those things it will mean something. It will mean everything.”

“Hansol-“ You started.

“Why are you afraid of kissing me?”

“I am not afraid.” You said defiantly.

“Prove it.” He whispered against your lips and wow…when did he get that close to your face?

“Just one kiss.” You told him.

“Just one kiss.” He repeated and crashed his lips against yours. His lips were incredibly soft and warm, specially his tongue licking your lips trying to open your mouth. “C’mon” he whispered when you refused to let him in. He bit your lower lip and held the back of your head with his hand, making you gasp which gave him the perfect opportunity to slide his tongue in. You moaned and buried your hands in his hair eliciting an approving purr from him. ‘How could a simple kiss feel so good?’ You wondered without noticing he had crawled on top of you and imprisoned you under his body, his hands all over you.

You felt his hard on only covered by his boxers pushing insistently against your clothed core, his fingers tracing figures over your belly and his mouth now on your neck.

“H-Hansol…it was just one kiss.” You reminded him feeling yourself lose your will already.

“I know. I haven’t finished.” He replied taking off your shirt completely and massaging your breasts before pushing them together and lick your nipples alternately.

“Aah-“you tried to conceal your moans but he noticed and one of his hands found its way into your panties, teasing your entrance.

“Mmh…You get wet as soon as I start touching you.” He sounded satisfied running his finger over your arousal before pushing two fingers inside.

“Oh…Ha-aahnsol. Wait, Dino is in the living r-room.” You remembered and tried to grab your panties but he wasn’t having it. Just like he promised last time, he grabbed your panties and ripped them off before taking off his shirt and boxers.

You couldn’t believe this boy. He looked like a lost puppy most of the time but apparently he had a dominant side, which was turning you on more than you wanted to admit.

He looked down at you, admiring your naked body and conflicted expression before he cooed and went for another kiss. This time you didn’t complain and just kissed back while he pushed his cock inside of you. You moaned, your head falling back and he sucked on your neck and collarbones, mumbling words like “so beautiful”, “perfect” and “my girl” before pulling out and slamming back in. He fucked you slowly but hard, circling his hips and holding your legs against his shoulders. You had never felt this good before and you thought it couldn’t get any better until he increased the pace, bending you over the bed and his forehead almost touching yours.

“I can’t do this.” He suddenly said. “I can’t stand-fuck!…I c-can’t stand knowing you let o-other men touch you like mmh this.”

“Hansol w-we ooh…we were never exclusiveaah!” You tried to explain but his cock reached so deep inside of you that you suddenly couldn’t breathe.

“We are now.” He said fucking you harder and making you hit your orgasm, clenching around him and making him release inside of you with a soft moan. You were so tired you almost fell asleep before you felt him manhandle you and put you on your hands and knees on the bed.

“Hansol?!” you asked confused and then you felt his still hard cock slamming against you again. How could he still be hard after coming like that? Where did all that energy come from?

Sorry,” he said next to your ear. ”please bear with me. I know I can make you come twice…again.”

“Aahh! Hansol… Ooohhh I don’t think I- I can.”

“I know you can, babe” he said before fucking you so hard the headboard was banging against the wall and a painting fell off.

Your arms gave in and your head was left buried against the pillow, your ass up while he held your hips and shoved his dick inside of you roughly. You were screaming so loud you knew your neighbors would complain and Vernon was not quiet either.

“Ah..aah…Nngh yeah, baby- FUCK…. Oh fuck yeah…-OOOHH FUUUCK!” he moaned when he came, reaching your clit and rubbing it fast, making you come while his cock was still jolting inside of you before you both collapsed on the bed.

He pulled out and rolled both of you over so you were lying on your sides, looking into each other’s eyes.

“…You like me” he said after a moment of silence.

“Yeah, I think I do.” You admitted since lying after all that had happened was pointless.

“Good because we’re having a date tomorrow.”

“I don’t think we’re doing this right.” You said laughing.

“But it feels right” he said and kissed your shoulder. “Just remember: no more random dudes at the club from now on.”

You just smiled and said “Kiss me.”

“Finally.” He said before kissing you hungrily. He stopped before it turned into a full make out session and added “Let’s stop now. You need to be able to walk for our date.” To which you laughed, letting him hug you. You were about to fall asleep in his arms when he said:

“Poor Dino.”

A-Z NSFW: Joshua

Originally posted by lonexsamurai


Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 

Can I make the gentlemen!Joshua jokes yet? Anyways, yes yes, Joshua’s a lovely boy, of course he’s going to take mad care of you. Sex with him isn’t near rough, so honestly pains aren’t an occurrence he worries about in aftercare. Shower if you can walk, if not, you get the luxury of Joshua running you both a hot bath, with the best smelling bath bombs.  Aftercare is mainly just reassuring you’re okay, and satisfied, and he loves you. Lovey dovey couple stuff, in short.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

Aside from being the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, his eyes hold the most intensity when he’s with you. Almost supernaturally, a look from him is enough to leave you paralyzed, especially when those mischievous eyes are gleaming up at you from between your thighs. They add a whole new level to sex, something that’s not easily replaced, and he surely knows it and uses it to his advantage. As weird as it sounds, your back is the untypical favorite part of you to him, he loves watching your body curve from his mouth, or you arching back into him when he’s thrusting from behind, seeing your body react so much to his touch goes to his head fast.

C = Cum 

He’s not one to make a mess, or anything. It’s always in a condom, easy clean up, no worries, it’s all good. He’s not a fan of the whole ‘marking cum’ thing, semi thinks it’s a bit degrading so he’s not much for it. Condoms just make it easier to be safe and saves a needed clean up of sheets and a wipe down. 

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 

Seeing as you can’t possibly be around 24/7, it was discussed and under strict rules for keeping them safe, a few choice pictures were taken of you two. That’s not the secret. The agreement was they were for when he’s away on schedule and promoting, and doesn’t have time to see you…but that’s the reason he takes so long in the shower…oops.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
I don’t see how any adult doesn’t know about sex, so obviously he’s aware of it. But experience is very minimal to none at all. How gentlemanly he is, and how he was raised, I don’t see baby Joshua out there getting his dick wet every other day. You’ll definitely have to teach him a few things, but he’s easily taught, so an one time teaching is all it takes.

F = Favorite position

I imagine Joshua being a very…clingy lover…He likes full on contact, so missionary, from behind with you both on your knees, your front pressed to his, etc. But his favorite, is spooning, especially in the mornings, you’re usually in that position anyways, and add morning wood to that, makes it a very good wake up call.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Joshua’s laugh…shoot me its so cute Sex is very lighthearted with Joshua, there’s no pressure to rush or be perfect. He’s not goofy per say, but it’s very apparent that there’s not expectation to be serious or incredibly sexy, etc. It’s really about loving each other, and having fun together. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
Joshua’s very clean in my mind…especially since he’s in the shower for ages, I expect there’s some kind of manscaping going on. Not bare, or even close, but a nice trim.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

[See Kink] Joshua’s a very lovey…lover lol so he’s really big on making sure his love is translated in sex. It’s not sex or fucking, he’s loving you, and he needs to make sure that’s obvious. It’s not much of a show, like movies, there’s no cheesy rose petals or mood lighting, but he’s very vocal with cooing about his love for you, and pillow talk is especially full of affection.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)

The boy takes forever in the shower….boy you can think outside the shower, you’re in there jerking it stop lying…What boy doesn’t jerk off, honestly. He’s obviously not quick about it, so uh…yeah…

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
I really believe Joshua is a man of few kinks, the only things I can say I believe he’d have is praise and body worship kinks. He’s a really ideal boyfriend/lover, he’s very affectionate, and that crosses over into sex. He really enjoys pleasing your entire being while letting murmurs slip of his perfect you are and how much he truly loves you; he needs you to know how much he appreciates and adores you.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Bed is the only place Joshua will have sex. The shower sounds to dangerous, and it’s not exactly a comforting thought that the boys pick locks, there’s so many waiting on the bathroom, and that in probably 30 seconds, another member is going to be in the exact spot he’s had his dick in you. He doesn’t like the risk of other places, getting caught or hurt, and gentleman!shua strikes again, making the bed the only option in his mind. Sorry y’all.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

[See Yearning] Joshua’s not really difficult to get wound up, he’s pretty sensitive to your touch, so use that to your advantage. The easiest way to let him know you’re in the mood and instantly put him on the same level, is just letting your fingers brush along his thigh and a slight squeeze of the muscle before you’re in dangerous territory. Appears like a typical display of affection, but between you two, you know exactly what it means.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Realistically, Joshua is pretty vanilla. You can write as many kinky church boy fics as you want, you can’t convince me he’s wild. He’s not into a lot of ‘kinky’ stuff, bondage, titles(Daddy, Oppa, Sir, etc), and things of that nature, aren’t really in his kink book.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
[See Toys] Because he doesn’t delve into a lot of different stuff, i.e different locations or toys and such, he lowkey feels like he has to make up for the lack of diversity in the bedroom, so his ‘sorry’ is being a beast at going down on you. It’s his favorite form of foreplay, laying between your thighs, keeping your hips down as he works his tongue over you, and listening to you whining and squirm under his touch. He typically gets his rocks off in you, rather than your mouth, so he doesn’t exactly need a bj but he’s not turning down the favor either.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

When I think of Joshua, I weirdly always imagine Ne-Yo’s Lazy Love? Yeah, that’s what I see. Joshua’s pretty precise with his thrusts, he knows exactly what to do now, he’s a master. Buuut he’s dead set on a relatively slow pace, that speeds up to a pretty fast pace when either of you are close, and they air on the side of gentle 99% of the time.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Aside from the fact quickies aren’t quickies, considering it takes him a while to get there; Joshua just doesn’t like it. He likes being able to lay you out and worship your body, take you both to the clouds in pleasure, and the time crunch pushes a lot of the fun away from sex. Quickies happened a handful of times, just to kill the urge, but they’re very rare, he’s not fond of them. At all. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

In general, Joshua’s a pretty vanilla guy, nothing crazy or insanely adventurous will happen. Trying new positions is really all he’s okay and comfortable with doing, so don’t hold your breath on thinking you can have him decked in leather and tying you up and drip candle wax on you….ain’t gonna happen.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
I’m just gonna keep bringing up the shower exposure. He takes forever in the shower, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know a boy taking fifteen years in the shower means he’s jerking it. Sooo I’m pretty sure he lasts unusually long, pushing ten minutes is the norm for him, but because he holds out so long, one round is usually all he can manage. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
I don’t see Joshua using anything on either of you, realistically. The most he’d probably have, and rarely use, is just a simple bullet vibrator for nights when he’s feeling particularly like a tease. It doesn’t make an appearance often, though.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Typically, he’s pretty lenient with you, not one to tease either of you when he can give you both pleasure. He’s got to be in a very particular mood to become a massive tease. The teasing he does, is more aims as to get you in the mood, or let you know he’s in the mood, thigh touches and kisses with just a little too much feeling behind them. Don’t worry, Josh is a good boy, he won’t tease you into next week. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
As part of the vocal line, I’m inclined to think he’s got a voice, yes? But his voice is pretty soft spoken, too. Joshua’s more on an under the breath talker, pretty much chanting to himself about how much it feels good, how warm you are, how much he loves you, breathless curses, etc.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
While he’s no where near dominant, he’s not submissive. At least, in your relationship currently. But the first time, you dominated and topped, pretty much having to show Joshua what the deal is. The worst thing he’s ever said, is describing your first time together as “A more hands on sex ed class” i had a boy say that to me….didnt know what to reply with

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Intensely thinking about the dicc gif According to Nana, Joshua’s kind of long and skinny, so uh….it matches….a bit longer than average, pushing 5.5″ long and more on the slender side of the spectrum.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

[See Stamina] Not to go there, but as someone that grew up in a church setting, I feel like I can have a say in this. From my experience, some of the horniest people I’ve ever met, were my church goers. Joshua’s our resident gentleman, that’s known, he’s good at keeping his hormones on a leash, but I he’s got a very high sex drive. He’s really ready to go at any time, may god have mercy on your holes.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Since Joshua isn’t a particularly rough lover, he’s not getting insanely overworked when you two have sex, he’s not exhausted by the end of it so he’s usually able to get up and continue with the day if needed. At night, you’ll just spend the time after getting cleaned up and turn to cuddling and watch T.V. During the day, he’s able to pull himself together and get on with what he’s got to get done, so he doesn’t sleep quickly after, if he sleeps at all. Joshua’s pretty capable of taking you to cloud 9 and continuing his duties afterwards, but that’s not to say when given the time, he won’t just curl up with you for a nap, but on the norm, he’s usually fine.

Parental Instinct

Jiyong lifts your daughter, pulling her up to rest on his hip, her eyes scanning the shelf of candy in front of her.

‘Which ones do you want, princess?’ He asks her, swaying her backwards and forwards.  

‘How many can I have?’ She casts her round, almond eyes at him, blinking her butterfly eyelashes.

‘As many as you want.’ He chuckles, his lips dusting her forehead.

‘No, Ji…,’ You warn him sternly, your hand coming to rest gently on his bicep. ‘She will make you buy the whole shelf.’ He shrugs ambivalently at you, a single eyebrow dancing upwards.

‘Yeobo, let me spoil her, huh? I haven’t spent time with her in two weeks…’ You shake your head, knowing that not matter what you said, your daughter would get what she wanted from her father. Her four year old self was the apple of his eye.

‘I want that one.’ Your daughter points to a coffee chocolate bar, and Jiyong reaches for it, slightly taken aback.

‘You picked this one? Do you know what it is, Jaeeun?’ His asks curiously as his hand wraps around it, bringing it closer to her face.

‘Yes. It’s coffee and chocolate together.’ She replies with confidence. Jiyong’s eyes furrow in confusion.

‘But Jaeeun, you don’t eat coffee, huh?’ The bar hovers in front of her.

‘I know. But I thought about Mummy. You didn’t say you would buy her one, and I wanted to get her that one because it is her favourite.’ She blinks at him as if her decision was the most obvious thing in the world. Your husband nods in knowing, a pleased smile spreading on his face, mimicking the pleasant feeling inside your heart.

‘Ahhh, my daughter.’ He sighs contently, pressing his lips against her cheek. ‘You have such a kind heart.’ She squiggles against his kiss.

‘Not you. You forgot Mum.’ If there was one thing your daughter had inherited from your husband, it was his confidence. She was never one to let her voice go unheard.

‘I didn’t forget.,’ Jiyong states calmly. ‘I was helping you pick first.’

‘But Mummy needs help too, and sometimes you don’t help her… like when she asks you to wash the dishes.’

‘Jaeeun, pick some candy, huh? We’re going to be late to see Uncle Youngbae.’ You press her into a decision, and she picks another candy bar, wrapped delicately in a pink wrapper. Jiyong reaches for it, clutching it in his hand.

‘That one is for Uncle Bae. He likes strawberries. And Dad, you can have… the same one as me.’ She pauses, contemplating the choices, before pointing to Jiyong’s favourite - a mint chocolate bar. He adds two of them quickly to his now stretched fist.

‘Good choice, Jaeeun!’ He nods in pleasure, before dropping her slowly down from his hip, handing her two of the candy bars to carry. She toddles straight to the counter, her balance perfect as her hands wave the candy bars excitedly. Jiyong had picked her outfit today - black skinny jeans tucked into her miniature doc marten boots and a blue and white striped t shirt peeking out from under a green army coat. The coat waggled after her, and you noted the content look on your husbands face, satisfied with his wardrobe decision. You both followed her to the counter, Jiyong taking it upon himself to lift her up so she was able to place the chocolate on top of it. He adds his two, smiling at the old woman behind the counter.

‘How many are there?’ He asks her, his English twinged thickly with an accent. Despite his lack of complete fluency, Jiyong made every effort to immerse your daughter in English. It was something you were both trying to do - talk to her in English, so she became bilingual quickly. Her Korean had inexplicably developed far more rapidly than you’d expected, and she was sometimes still mixing her words when she spoke in English. As your parents only spoke English, it was important to you that she became fluent in your native language as well. Her face furrowed in concentration as she counted.

‘One, two, three… sa!’ She giggled in glee, knowing the annoyance the Korean would bring to her father.

‘Yah, Jaeeun… Am I speaking Korean?’ He presses gently, tickling her in a non-aggressive fashion.

‘Dad, I want to give the lady the money…’ She switches back to Korean, holding her hand open, palm flat for Jiyong to place money in. He reached into his back pocket, balancing your daughter carefully on his hip.

‘Okay, Okay. Wait a minute, huh, princess.’

‘Oh, wow. Your Korean is very good!’ The woman behind the counter comments happily as she begins scanning the items, the smile on her face crinkling her eyes. You can see Jiyong’s body tense instinctively, his movement for his wallet pausing in a split second.

‘Of course it is.,’ Your daughter comments confidently. ‘I’m Korean.’ Her statement is one of fact. Jiyong continues to withdraw his wallet, his movement strained slightly.

‘No you aren’t.’ The woman replies, her tone equally as confident. Jiyong’s head, which had been tilted slightly towards your daughter, snaps forward to look at the woman. If there is one thing he was sensitive about, it was the perception other Koreans had about his daughters race.

‘I am… I’m Korean.,’ Your daughters brow furrows slightly, confusion flooding her face. ‘My daddy always says…’

‘Look at your Mum. Look at you… You can’t be Korean.’ Despite her pleasant tone, her voice was becoming more forceful. Your daughters eyes begin to fill with tears, her face turning as they pooled in her wide set eyes.

‘Dad, am I Korean?’ She questions, her voice unsteady.

‘Of course you are, Jaeeun. This woman doesn’t know what she is talking about.’ He cuts in sharply.

‘Ji, let’s just go, huh? Youngbae is going to be waiting for us…’ You knew what was coming. The tension leaching from Jiyong’s body was becoming palpable. Your hands reach for your daughter, and Jiyong passes her to you willingly. Her face burrows into your scarf as you pull her into a hug, her wet tears mixing into the wool.

‘My daughter’s Korean isn’t good - it’s great, because its her first language.,’ His voice has become louder and more blusterous with anger, and your daughter retreats further into you, her tiny arms climbing inside your coat. You cradle her, turning away from Jiyong and the woman. ‘You, though, have an extremely narrow minded view of the world. Of course my daughter is Korean. She has lived here her entire life and has only left the country twice.’

‘But…’ The woman, taken aback by Jiyong’s confrontation, opens her mouth in an attempted rebuttal.

‘No buts. She is Korean. Who the hell are you to say she isn’t and upset her?,’ He opens his wallet, removing a few bills of cash. You catch them out of the corner of your eye, a handful of hundred thousand weon notes. ‘Keep the change. Use it to buy some damn empathy, huh?’ He flicks the notes onto the counter roughly, his fist in an easy swoop, before turning to stalk out of the store. You follow him, your daughter still clinging to you, her face not showing. You coo gently in an attempt to encourage her out.

‘Jaeeun? Are you okay?’ You switch to Korean in an effort to console her, your voice nervously stumbling over the syllables you could usually pronounce without effort. Her head shakes a negative response. Jiyong continues his rapid pace, his long, thin legs carrying him quicker than you could keep step with. He stops abruptly, his body coming to a halt just in front of you. You pause, approaching him. ‘Ji, slow down, huh? I can’t keep up.’ He turns, his head shaking is disbelief, collecting a deep breath.

‘Sorry, I’m just…,’ He huffs, unable to articulate his words correctly. Your head nods down to your daughter, to draw his attention to her distress. His eyes close, his face crinkling to draw inner strength.

‘Jaeeun-ah.,’ He steps forward, his voice low in comfort. ‘Daddy’s not mad at you, huh? You know that right?’ Her small head peaks out from the grooves of your scarf, eyeing Jiyong suspiciously.

‘I don’t know.,’ She replies honestly. ‘I’m confused.’ Jiyong lets out a lengthy sigh, before offering his arms to your daughter. She twists, shifting her weight into him so he was able to swing her onto the ground, allowing her to come to a standing position. She turns to face him, and he bends on his knees to crouch down to her level. His hands clutch her shoulders gently.

‘I’m not angry with you at all. I’m angry at that woman. You did nothing wrong, okay?,’ His hands smooth down her arms, coming to clutch her tiny hands. ‘She was being very rude to you, and when someone is rude to you that makes me angry. No one should be allowed to make you feel bad by being rude to you. Ever. Do you understand that?’ Your daughter blinks her wet lashes at her father, a small nod coming from her head.

‘Why did she say that I’m not Korean? You always told me that I am Korean.’ Her brows furrow, confusion threaded over her face. You can’t bare to look at her, so your eyes flick to Jiyong. To his credit, his face remains staunchly calm.

‘Some people think that if your Mum or Dad is from a different country, you can’t be Korean.,’ He responds. ‘But those people are just stupid. When they say that you aren’t Korean, you have to tell them they’re stupid, okay? In your biggest, loudest voice.’ His fingers reach up to nip her cheek in a pinch, and she giggles excitedly.

‘I can call them stupid?’ Both her eyebrows arch in surprise.

‘You can. I’m going to let you say that to them, but only them okay? I don’t want to hear you calling anyone else stupid.’ She nods her head in understanding, her little secret agreement between her father and her bringing a widening grin to her face.

‘I won’t. I promise. But she was stupid!’ She shakes her hands, unable to calm her physical excitement at saying the world. A deep chuckle rumbles from Jiyong’s throat.

‘Who loves you?’ Jiyong asks, kissing his palm and balling his hand, holding his clenched fist out for Jaeeun. She leans forward, and he opens his palm, pressing it into her exposed, plump cheek. His fingers burst into movement, dancing down her neck to tickle her. It was their secret greeting. You’d had no idea where it had originated from, but they both adored it.

‘You do.’ She giggles happily, her shoulders shrugging up to avoid his fingers.

‘I do.,’ He pauses, looking at her, his hand cradling her face. ‘Come give me a hug, my Korean princess.’ She moves quickly into him, slotting easily between his crouched knees as her hands reached up to wrap around his neck. He pulls her close, lifting her feet slightly off the ground with the power of his hug. He holds her, longer than usual, the emotion he was feeling seeping through him. He settles her down again, his arms still holding her, but loosening slightly to allow her to step back.

‘Are you sad, Daddy?’ She questions as she studies his face.

‘A little bit.,’ He answers truthfully. ‘I don’t like it when people make you upset or when you cry.’ Her hands reach up to his face, squishing his cheeks to purse his lips. She leans forward, mushing her lips into his happily, planting a loving kiss on them.

‘I’m not sad anymore, Dad.,’ She says simply. ‘That lady was just stupid.’ She pushes his cheeks once more, before letting him go.

‘Ahh, my smart Jaeeun.’ He replies with a smile. She wiggles out of his arms, taking his hand.

‘Uncle Bae is waiting for us. Let’s hurry.’ She chugs him into motion, her legs thundering on the path as they break into a run. Jiyong stalls, his eyes flicking back to you to ensure you were following, hand reaching out to clasp yours excitedly, and you take it, running after them both.

A heavy sigh leaves his lips as he removes his t shirt, discarding it neatly into the wicker washing basket at the end of the bed. His head folds down, his hands running through his hair, haphazardly spraying the black strands in multiple directions. Despite his resolve in front of Jaeeun, it was obvious his mind was still lingering on the incident earlier in the day. You place your kindle on the beside table, peeking at him over the rim of your reading glasses. Jiyong had put Jaeeun to sleep hours ago. You’d watched him lay her onto the bed, the new stuffed unicorn from Youngbae taking up most of the space. He’d kissed her goodnight and told her she was beautiful, staying to let her hug his arm until she’d fallen asleep. He’d disappeared into the study shortly after and you hadn’t seen him since.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ You press lightly, eyes scanning him. His frame sinks lower, head bobbing further still.

‘No.,’ His answer is short and simple. He stands, deep in contemplation, and you throw back the covers, swinging your feed over the edge of the high bed frame. You pad your way to him, your silk sleep dress swishing against you lightly. You approach Jiyong, your arms wrapping warmly around his sunken body, your head coming to lay on his wide shoulder blades across the top of his back. ‘Do you think I scared her? I mean, she has never really seen me angry before.’

‘You didn’t scare her at all, Ji. She was just a bit confused. You didn’t do anything wrong.’ You murmur the words into his back, a kiss pressing against the bare skin of his tattooed neck, your lips tracing the lines of ink. Another sigh leaves him, and he sinks into your embrace. Throughout your relationship, you’d learned very early that Jiyong was much more sensitive than he let on. It was one of the most endearing traits about him. However, you understood how hard it was for him to grapple with the copious amounts of empathy he felt for others. He’d often wear their struggles longer than they would. ‘You saw her with Youngbae… She was over the moon. I doubt she is even going to remember it tomorrow.’

‘I know she seemed okay… I just got so angry about it I couldn’t control myself. I can’t stop thinking about how easily that woman shot her down. I want her to have confidence and we’ve both worked so hard to surround her with positive influences. It’s upsetting that in one second someone can say something so casually and it can have such a big impact on her. How could she say that to our child?’ You cradle him, rocking gently back and forward, your head resting on him.

‘We can’t protect her forever.’ Your response seems simple, and he chuckles slightly at your words.

‘You mean I can’t lock her in a tower away from the rest of the world?,’ He shifts your arms gently, his palms pressing to open your hands. He turns, coming to face you, his arms connecting around your body. He meets your eyes, carefully considering your face. ‘It’s not that I want to do that. It’s just I know people are going to see her as less of a person because she’s only half Korean. I know what the lady meant when she was saying she wasn’t Korean. She was saying she wasn’t good enough to be Korean. It made me upset… It made me really, really angry that someone could say that to my daughter. If people say things like that to her, she is going to start doubting herself.’ Your hand reaches up to cup his face, drawing it close to you for a sweet, lingering kiss. The amount of love Jiyong had for your daughter was boundless, and it was something you found intensely attractive.

‘I know, Ji. I know it’s hard. I didn’t know what to say when it happened because I was angry too. It’s difficult, and her life will be difficult. I can’t deny that. But we’re teaching Jaeeun to be a strong, thoughtful, caring person. That’s all we can do. Maybe she won’t get angry about this kind of stuff, but simply feel sorry for people who were taught such a narrow minded view.,’ You kiss his lips again, the fluffy cushion pressing against you with more vigour. ‘I know she has an amazing father that is going to fight for her whenever she needs it. I know she is going to be just as sympathetic and have the same amount of empathy as he does. I can already see it in her, Ji. We don’t have to worry about her.’

‘You’re right.,’ He nods, his gaze shifting off you. ‘You’re totally right. I just hate seeing her upset.’ He shakes his head to snap out of his daze.

‘You wouldn’t be a good father if you didn’t, and it’s one of the reasons she loves you and trusts you as much as she does.,’ Your hand reaches to his face, cupping his cheek to stroke your thumb across it. ‘And one of the reasons I love you as much as I do, too.’ He leans forward, enveloping you in a long, drawn out kiss. His lips rub softly against yours, his tongue exploring your mouth. His hands slip low over your hips, coming to cradle the rounded cheeks of your bum. His kiss continues, building in passion.

‘Daddy… Mummy…’ Your daughters voice shatters the moment, calling from behind the closed door. Jiyong breaks apart, his shoulders sagging in disappointment.

‘Damn it… that was going somewhere.,’ He let’s out a low sigh, breaking from your hug. ‘Yes, princess?’ He calls.

‘Daddy?’ She calls again. Jiyong walks quickly to the door, peeling it open.

‘What is it, Jaeeun? You’re meant to be sleeping…’ His voice trails off when he sees her, her own face quivering as their eyes meet, her wet cheeks flooding with more tears.

‘I… I had… I had… a dream… and the… unicorn… died.’ Jiyong sweeps her up in his arms, her wet cheeks burying against his skin.

‘It’s alright, Jaeeun. It’s still there in your bed, huh?’ He coos to comfort her.

‘Daddy… I’m scared.’ She manages to splutter out. Jiyong bumps her gently up and down, shifting to the bed as he attempted to ease her worry.

‘That’s okay, princess. You can sleep here with us.’ You couldn’t fault his suggestion. Your daughter was rarely scared, and for the most part slept through the night. For her to be this upset was unusual. With his free hand, he threw back the covers, before gently laying her down between the crisp whiteness of the Egyptian cotton sheets. She let out a groan, holding her arms out to desperately to Jiyong as he let her go.

‘Daddy, no… You have to stay.’

‘I know, Princess. I’m just getting into bed.,’ He climbs next to her, snuggling himself up to her, and she accepts his hug gratefully. ‘Do you want Mummy to join us too?’ He suggested, his fingers sweeping over Jaeeun’s face to wipe the tears off her eyes. Your daughter nods eagerly, sitting up slightly to encourage you into the bed.

‘Come on, Mummy.’ Her voice is still croaky from her tears. You oblige her request, walking to the other side of the bed. You adjust the covers over both your daughter and husband, pulling them up to their necks, before peeling back the corner of your own side of the bed. It was spacious enough, and Jaeeun was small enough, that her presence made no difference to your comfort. However, you found Jiyong shifting closer to you and sandwiching your daughter between you. She rotates slightly, her sleepy head curling into your shoulder while her arm reaches back to touch her father. Her face is full of innocence and you again can’t help but think how a complete stranger could have been so forceful with her today.

‘Good night, Princess.’ You whisper to her. She leans forward, her lips pressing into yours in a goodnight kiss.

‘Goodnight, Mummy. I love you.’ 

Analyzing "The Hand"

With the recent boom of my analysis of The Urge, and with a request to do Phil’s fanfiction story in TABINOF, I decided to give it a whirl. I wanted initially to steer away from Phil’s masterpiece because it’s so abstract,
BUT after reading/listening to it again, I just… I don’t even know where to start with this one because it’s just like Phil’s mind: all over the place. 

Buckle up everyone it’s a wild ride.
(There’s a TLDR near the bottom if you don’t have time or want all the details)

With The Hand it’s tricky because it’s so random. But, with the first few lines it started to make sense how I could do this: 
Phil woke up covered in sweat and screaming. He wiped his muscular brow as he got out of bed. That nightmare had been something else. ‘Weird’ he said, as he did his morning routine of 300 sit ups.” 

So let’s start here, as this is where Phil’s story starts. Because “The Hand” isn’t merely a weird story at all, it, was in fact, a dream. Or moreover a nightmare. Phil is writing about a dream he had. OR an interpretation of a dream. So, I’m going to analyze this like I would analyze my own dreams. 


His dream stars as he says “weird”, because if you wake up covered in sweat and screaming, you’re going to relive it. He dreamed that he did 300 sit ups. Which, according to a dream analysis calculator, suggest that you need to pay better attention to something in your life, like a relationship, work, family, or project. 

And guess what the next paragraph is, 
Dan was already in the kitchen making a delicious breakfast of bacon pancakes with extra maple syrup.” 
To dream about  pancakes represents gratification and pleasure in your current situation. You take pleasure and comfort in the simple things of life. (how sweet…haha pun)

 “Oh hey D-Slice!’ said Phil, back flipping in to the room and high fiving his friend in mid air” Doing back flips suggest that you are going out of your way to help or please someone. 
To see a friend signifies aspect of your personality that you have rejected, but ready to incorporate and acknowledge. Those relationships are important as they help key to knowledge to learn about yourself.

“‘What’s wrong?’ Phil asked as a bead of sweat dripped off his forehead and bounced off of the mutant finger protruding out of his body. 

‘Your body! Something’s happening to you!’ said Dan. 

Phil looked down in horror to see a human hand was starting to grow out of his chest. Just below the nipple. It wasn’t just growing, it was moving.’” 

Phil Lester you weird being. With this significant part I had to get picky because putting “hand that comes out of chest” weirdly enough doesn’t show up in the dictionary. So I looked up the meaning of a hand that wasn’t his own, what his own chest symbolized, and what happened if it was coming out of your chest. 

To see disembodied hand(s) (I’m allowing this because technically it is a random hand who he doesn’t yet know who it belongs to) indicates that you are not getting your point of view across. You are not being understood or someone is not understanding you. 

To see your chest in your dream signifies confidence, conquest and vitality. Alternatively, it represents feelings of being overwhelmed and being dangerously confronted by something. Consider also if the dream is telling you that there is something that you need to “get off your chest”.

To connect the two together, basically the hand coming out of Phil’s chest is symbolic for something he’s really proud of, but no one understands it. He wishes in a way that he could describe it better or even let it go, aka “get it off your chest” 

“In shock, Dan dropped the syrupy spatula onto his leather jeans and ruined them forever. No more leather jeans for Dan.”
Phil Lester. You kinky little bugger. 
Leather pants suggest that you are questioning your role in some situation. The leather refers to your instinctual and animalistic nature. It may also have sexual connotations.
And basically with this and Dan ruining his leather pants means that Phil wants control over the sexy times. Go Figure. 

“‘We need to call the army!’ He told his raven haired friend. 

‘Dan no! They’ll experiment on me. I don’t want to die!’ Phil said, as he let out a single tear, not afraid to show emotion in front of his true best friend.” 

I roll my eyes every time I read that sentence he’s so extra. 
Showing emotion in a dream signifies the negativity that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself.

And if you tie in everything from above, he’s upset because no one is understanding him. It’s a fight for himself. 

“They decided to keep it a secret. Over the next few weeks the hand grew and grew. Phil continued to make YouTube videos, he just wouldn’t film below the nipple. He had to keep this a secret from everyone.”

If you’re good at reading in between the lines, you already know what this is even about. But to analyze it anyway:
A secret represents hidden power. And in the “real” life, what does Phil actually have a secret of that he has the power of hiding? Don’t think too hard you already know the answer. 
Also it goes into note that he’s doing YouTube videos, so I looked up camera and it goes with the fear of what’s behind the hidden power, Everyone is watching you.

“Dan and Phil even taught the hand some of their best friend secret handshakes. It was responding to the fun. When they watched ‘Game of Thrones’ the hand even started twitching with glee.” 
Handshakes resemble a new beginning or an ending to a situation. You have reached an agreement or a decision to a problem. 
Is this possibly foreshadowing??

“Later that month, something unexpected happened. Dan and Phil were finishing another pancake session the hand started violently vibrating.

‘DAN HELP!’ Phil screamed as the hand started gesticulating wildly. Dan could only stand and as the hand started to extend out of Phil’s chest. The hand was reaching for Dan. Instinctively he started pulling it and something happened that none of the British boys would ever expect. 

After a few pulls there wasn’t just a hand, there was an arm and an elbow. An entire human was being dragged out of the inside of Phil – he was giving birth.” 

This picture I have to include it just makes me giggle. 

Lots of key notes happen in this section of text so advert your eyes if you don’t want to be mildly disgusted or incredibly sad. 

Vibration of the hand indicates a sexual need for completion (I fucking can’t like Phil why…) 
Giving birth to something that is not a baby, and if you are not expecting, refers to your fear in the outcome of some decision or project. You are trying to overcome difficulties in your life and achieve inner development. It implies that your inner creative energy has yet to blossom and grow into expression. You may have some hesitation in releasing this “monster” for fear that others will judge you or that they will not accept your ideals.

And because this takes place in the kitchen (because places have symbolism too) indicates your need for warmth, spiritual nourishment and/or some emotional healing. 

“There was a giant wet explosion. All that was left of Phil was a lump of skin. And there standing in the kitchen, was a completely naked Harry Styles. 

Dan gave him a pepper pot to cover his modesty, ‘Thanks for pulling me out of there mate!’ said Harry as he grabbed a pancake from the pan and walked out of the door. Dan looked into the middle distance. His face was no longer filled with confusion. No longer filled with horror. It was filled with revenge. 

To be Continued.” 

To see a naked celebrity suggests that you need to learn to not be afraid of rejection. Consider what the celebrity is famous or known for. Something in the waking life triggered these similar beliefs and feelings. 
To basically tie the two together, Phil is somewhat a celebrity himself. To see Harry naked is a reflection of which he sees himself. Not naked, but confident in what he does. 

Skin that is melting, deteriorating, or is all that is left implies that you are losing your defenses. Your guard is down. You are being worn down. 

Also, he mentioned that Dan was filled with revenge at the end of the story, which means the relationships you have with others are important in learning about yourself. This anger symbolizes frustrations and disappointments in your self. You tend to repress your negative emotions or project your anger onto others. 

TLDR: To put it all together and not have it be a jumbled mess, this is what the story really means: 

Phil is really close to the people he loves, but is still haunted by a burden of self acceptance, not only by himself but from other’s too. He has many great ideas and yet is scared to share them because he’s fearful of rejection. 

Although he is confident, he’s overwhelmed by what’s going on inside his mind. So many ideas and creative outputs but no idea where to start or even how to describe them. The more he bottles up the more he gets emotional and can’t find a correct way to set them free because of the negativity inside his mind. 

He has secrets, and the feeling of everyone watching him. Sometimes he feels defenseless, he has power behind one of the biggest secrets of all, which he knows can actually lead to new opportunities. But this secret is in agreement. 

But the fear of rejection still rests on his mind. So many new projects and things that could happen if he could come clean but he possibly can’t! The fear of being held back by a “monster” that wasn’t meant to be created: himself and the love for another. He gets angry at himself because of where he stands in life. Trying to repress it only makes matters worse at times. 

But still, there is warmth within all this dark and gloom and fear. He stays close to it. Even when his guard is down, or anger and frustration reigns from within, there’s comfort. 

Because Dan will always be his comfort. No matter how fucking kinky he wants to be.

I find it interesting that even though they both have completely different stories, they’re still about the love they have for each other. How their stories are about Dan’s worst fears and Phil’s too. They basically declared it, and published it, right under our noses. You just gotta dig a bit to find it.

**Again - I’m not a professional I’m just doing this just for fun. This is also back from 2014-2015 and is probably no where accurate. 
But, it suddenly makes sense.

Season finale thoughts...

‘Sup, ladies and gentlemen.

I hope you had a good Jonerys day and an even better Season Finale of GoT.

As for myself, I needed to watch the episode like fifty times and make some mental notes about it so I can discuss out here with whomever is interested (any J0nsa&Antis in general get the hell out of my blog: this is a conversation for people who really watched the show, understood the characters and, possibly, read the books too. I don’t have the energy to argue with anyone. I will block you I swer I will). I wanted to publish it as soon as possible since we are still in the week after the season finale, but I found out there were a lot of thing to write.

it’s a very long one, I’m sorry. If you get tired I’ll understand, but I had to put my thoughts somewhere.

First of all, I want to make a point: I’m no watching, reading, seeing for causality anymore seasons leaks for the life of me. WHERE WAS CERSEI MISCARRIAGE?? WHERE WAS IT?!! WHERE WAS THE UNDRESSING AND SCAR-KISSING SCENE DURING THE BOATSEX?? WHERE WAS IT?!! I admit I had very high hope and I crushed over the ground painfully.

Originally posted by heroinwasmyhero

I know coming on Tumblr is not the best place on earth to avoid spoiler, but I will try not to go and look for them myself like I did (yeah, shame on me) for the Season 7. If it happens, it happens. But I won’t go and start the research myself.

Now, on the important point.

·        The Dragonpit scene was glorious.

There was so much tension in the air that the almost Claganebolw was a relief.

But the best part was, of course, Daenerys stealing the scene: Cersei wanted to be last person to arrive at the parlay because she was the Queen, the rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms to make the point that she was the most powerful person among all the others leader there (yeah, sure) and Dany, arriving on Drogon, with Rhaegal flying over them just, wanted to scale her down.

Everyone was impressed: Qyburn was in awe, Euron was impressed, Jorah was all proud and glorious. Everyone saw her and her dragons. That’s how you impress people, not by mass murdering half a city. But I will come back on Cersei later.

·        Showing the wights 

It was important that said scene was in silent: everyone had to see, understand and digest the information received. The DEAD is coming: what is matters now is to SURVIVE.

I was a bit disappointed that no Maester were present at the Dragonpit: they wanted a proof, there was the occasion to see it. But Qyburn was there and for how much of a loyal subject to the Queen or of an unethical former Maester he is - he won’t be listened by anyone in the Citadel, let’s face it - he still had a scientific mind. He was on his feet to watch the arm chopped off and understand.

I don’t know if it’s important but so far, everything shown in the show it’s always important. What they say or do in the show it always matter now or in the future.

Just like that kind-of-innuendo Euron Greyjoy told to Daenerys.

When winter’s over, we’ll be the only one left alive.

What was the point of saying that if that didn’t mean something? Euron is a duplicitous character, cunning, shrewd and ruthless (at least the Euron in the book, but the show Euron is not so bad himself).

I do expect him to change allegiance again, or betray, or be killed.

·        Jon Snow being true to his word

Seriously, guys, what did you expected him to do? Lie?

He’s Jon Fucking Snow, bastard son of Ned Stark, the most rightful man he has ever known. Jon is the spitting image of Ned Stark, trying to be his father’s son more than Robb ever was, more than Bran could ever be, more than Rickon would ever hope to be.

Let’s say Ned Stark father four sons not three

Ned Stark built an imagine to himself (probably to hide his many secrets) and his offspring (boys and girls alike) are trying to emulate him so much it almost hurt for how much peril this often brings to them.

So, when he was asked not to choose a side, he did choose it, regardless of the bad timing. Just like his father did when he decided to ride with Robert Baratheon to War against the Targaryen.

People brush over the fact that he did because he couldn’t lie to save his life, but people here miss to see something else, something very important: Cersei was playing with him.

She knew she would have touched a raw nerve by saying that Ned Stark’s son would be true to his word, she was playing with Jon’s sense of honor and if he accepted the truce she would have considered just as stupid and naïve as his father.

I want to think that Sansa or Tyrion warned everybody of Cersei attitude to play with other’s people feelings for her own good.

A lie would have been enough (or maybe not, after all Cersei doesn’t believe anyone) but Jon wanted to send a message to Cersei Lannister that very moment: I see your game and I am not falling for it. You will not have my word, you will have no power over me. That’s what I think had happened back there.


Like I said before, this is about SURVIVAL, not this stupid game of thrones Cersei keep playing even when it is clear there is a bigger enemy for all of them. Jamie is clearly freaked out by this whole undead army situation too.

And it’s Brienne to say that FUCK LOYALTY to which Jamie is absolutely taken aback.

It wasn’t something he could ever hear from her because she the most loyal person Jamie has ever been blessed to meet.

I bet my money this is what Jamie thought when he decided to kill the Mad King.

Fuck loyalty: this man wants to burn a city to the ground, so many innocents will die. Fuck loyalty.

Jamie knows Brienne is right, his brother is right, the King in the North and the Dragon Queen is right.

And he will see past the Cersei game and do what is right (FINALLY).

·        Cersei, Jamie and Tyrion

Their meeting was terrifying.

Two members of the same family that hate each other to the core.

Cersei will always see Tyrion as the responsible of every bad thing happened in their family and Tyrion as always seen Cersei as the most dangerous woman in the Seven Kingdom whom, just like Littlefinger, would see this country burn to the ground if he could be the Queen of the ashes. She doesn’t care of the world or the people, that’s clear to everybody.

But Tyrion is the most courageous man ever met, to step into the lioness’ den to face her, to make her see that they have a bigger problem to face rather than tore themselves apart.

And it’s exactly what happen in that meeting.

And then he knows she was pregnant and the scene ends like this.

It was disturbing and worrying, especially because after Tyrion comes up with Cersei accepting to help.

But there were many things left unsaid.

I’ve read already around the Internet that some fan speculates over Tyrion making a secret agreement with Cersei to secure a succession.

Whoever thought that do not know of Tyrion at all.

He would never do an agreement with Cersei because he knows she would never keep her word. Either he has a back-up plan or he’s really naïve.

And even if he did make an agreement, which I doubt, I believe that once he knows from Jamie that she left them to die, any kind of agreement will be over.

Just like Jamie predicted.

If the dead win, they march south, and kill us all. If the living win, and we betrayed them, they march south and kill us all!

Is it so difficult to understand?

I’ve always thought that Cersei is a very stupid woman.

Ruthless, willful, cold and ambitious perhaps, but stupid still.

She thinks herself so intelligent and cunning, she thinks she is the rightful heir of Tywin Lannister because she is his eldest child and because she listened to him and learned his lessons, but in truth just like Tywin said more than once, Cersei is not as intelligent as she thinks and she does not even realize her own limitations because she is arrogant and cannot see the outcomes and consequences of her action (see: the Faith Militant=Walk of Shame or Destruction of Sept of Balor=Death of Tommen and now, Betray the North=The North will have its revenge).

Don’t get me wrong, Daenerys has sometimes the same attitude (see the death of Tarlys and the fact that Samwell is Jon’s best friend: I can see some dramas coming from here, just like it happened with Melisandre & Davos & Shireen) but luckily, she has a very horrible legacy she tries to surpass and a small council that will temper herself.

But Cersei is Tywin’s daughter for sure: they both share the ruthlessness and the attitude towards destruction (do I really have to say the Rain of Castemere?), but they are incapable to build something good or create a better world or do the right thing for a common good. They can only think of themselves and their family. But even that love for family it’s a very disturbing one: she is disturbingly possessive of her children just because they are hers and hell, she has her own twin brother as lover because he was born with her!

Contrary to Tyrion.

Tyrion has Tywin intelligence, but not his ruthlessness.

Tyrion is a compassionate person and a gentle human being that really believe that Daenerys can create a better world and really hope she can do it because in the world that exist now, he doesn’t have a part in it for what he is. A dwarf.

His hate for Cersei and his father would have never existed if she and Tywin didn’t hate him first.

How can I be sure? Jamie.

He would do anything to protect his brother and the fact that in the last episode were some exchange of gapes and expression like in the good old times, make my heart fly a little. Regardless of everything that happened between the two of them, they still love each other very much.

When Tyrion say he never wanted to destroy his family, he really means that.

Let’s face it, Tyrion love his family, love his brother dearly, love his name and he is proud to be a Lannister.

I think he feels guilty for the death of Tywin and does feel responsible for the death of Myrcella. But the fact that Cersei will forever see him as a peril and the cause of all evil felt upon their family, makes him watch his back more all the time.

He will do anything to protect his family which is Jamie: Cersei can burn but Jamie must live.

·        Jon and Theon

Now that was magical. Also, because like always we see how kind and pure of heart Jon is, regardless of his fury towards Theon.

I’ve always wanted to do the right thing, be the right kind of person, but I never knew what that meant. It always seemed like there was, like there was an impossible choice I had to make, Stark or Greyjoy.

You don’t have to choose. You’re a Greyjoy and you’re a Stark.

In their conversation Jon accepts Theon’s apology for the offenses he committed against the Stark family and free him from the agony of having to choose between being a Greyjoy or a Stark.


I don’t think Theon will be the one to tell him so, because I don’t think Theon will survive Yara’s rescue, but someone else will said for sure.

Quoting myself: what they say or do in the show it always matter now or in the future.

·        The wolves are back

Revenge is sweet.

The most cunning person in the Seven Kingdom that could play anyone like he wanted is finally death.

The responsible over the extinction of so many family and houses has met his end by the end of three teenagers (God, I want a commentary of the actors over here so much!).

I never doubted that the whole StarkSisterBowl was a game Arya and Sansa were playing to expose Littlefinger.

Sansa didn’t trust him and she needed to take her revenge over him for selling her to the Boltons. Arya didn’t trust him because she was at Harrenhal and Bran didn’t trust him because he could see his true self.

Sansa eventually did what Littlefinger taught her.

There’s no justice in this world, not unless we make it. You loved your family, avenge them.

And I love the fact that she involved her siblings to help her, Arya was too eager to do it but Bran in particular. He has been so emotionless it was almost scary but eventually he was there too, to watch the responsible of so many deaths dying miserably. The only thing (apart of his lessons which were and will be useful in the time being) I thank him for it was suggesting a marriage between Jon and Dany. Like, I mean come on, it was Tyrion to say to Dany to leave behind Daario. I was surprised he wasn’t the one to give the idea. Suggesting a marriage between Jon and Daenerys was the only interesting thing that came of of Littlefinger’s mouth that should be worth listening.

The wolf pack is back.

Can’t wait to see Jon high-five all of them for the accomplished result!

·        THAT SCENE (I’m going to swear a lot here…so forgive me about it)

It’s pointless to say WHICH scene I’m talking about, right?


Passed the first phase of absolutely happiness & joy & excitement & shit-eating-grin & rewatching until my eyes bled … now I’m scared as fuck.

Probably, I’m just overthinking and I know it’s not good: I should keep my word and don’t go and watch/read interviews or watch the behind the scene because it only makes me freak out.

Because YES, they FINALLY give up to the passion they felt and YES, it was INEVITABLY because THEY ARE THE ICE AND FIRE AND IT WAS THEIR DESTINY and YES, the WHOLE JONERYS FANDOM is happy about it (don’t get me wrong … I’M FREAKING HAPPY ABOUT IT) … but they presented us like it was a very bad thing to do.

Not only because of the revelation of Jon’s lineage and so the fact they are aunt and nephew and the whole incest implication (THEY ARE TARGARYEN FOR FUCK SAKE! IN THE BOOKS, DANY HAS SPECULATED SHE MIGHT ENDED UP MARRYING HIS NEPHEW AEGON IF HE WAS ALIVE! I SERIOUSLY DOUBT SHE WOULD BE SO MUCH DISGUSTED) but the fact that Jon is a legitimate son and heir of the Seven Kingdom.

First of all, if Jon didn’t want to be King in the North in the first place, who would believe he will want the fucking Iron Throne and fight Daenerys for it? I don’t think so.

Second, you should have an ACTUAL proof about the fact that he is a legitimate son and Bran vision it’s not a proof because he can’t show it unless he wants to show it to the entire world.

Third, the High Septon diary? Left in the Citadel to be forgotten and rot away.

I can understand Tyrion being worried outside the room: he saw that the attraction or sentiment or whatever it was that brought them together costed the life of Viserion and he’s worried the next time will cost Daenerys’ life. Sentiment are a liability in politics and he knows that pretty well. He’s worried for Dany and I appreciate it.


THE WHOLE SEASON SEEMS TO PUSH THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER, TEAM UP, BEING TOGETHER - that TOGETHER that is present in every fucking episode!!! – and now all the people involved in GoT say it was a very bad thing to do. Character and actors and producers likewise. Now they are going to do a step back and saying it was a bad idea??

I feel not only cheated for the motivation and way the Boasex has been presented (I’VE BEEN WAITED FOR YEARS AND YOU GAVE ME LIKE WHAT, SIX SECONDS OF BOATSEX??? DON’T GET ME WRONG IT WAS INTENSE, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, BUT FUCK COULDN’T GIVE US A LITTLE BIT MORE??? THE DIRECTOR OF THE EPISODE SAID THERE WAS NO POINT IN LINGERING OVER IT … WELL ALLOW ME TO DISAGREE!!!) but also, I feel like all of them (from actors to writers, from directors to producer) are trolling AND fucking us at the same time.

I feel like we are living again the same horrible situation with season 5 finale (Jon’s death and Kit saying that he was dead for good and not coming back and the whole fandom was freaking out) and the season 6 finale (that exchange of glares between Sansa and Littlefinger and the whole fandom was roaring SHE WILL BETRAY HER BROTHER).

I know what they are doing.

They want to keep us interested for the final season and I understand that too.

But suddenly I feel the heaviness of what Maester Amon told Jon at Castle Black:

Love is the bane of honor, the death of duty. What is honor compared to a woman’s love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms … or the memory of a brother’s smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy

Sooner or later in every man’s life there comes a day when it’s not easy. A day when he must choose.

Season 8 will not only be centered on defeating the Night King but also over this: choosing LOVE or DUTY. Because it’s unthinkable in a word such as GoT that someone, anyone, can choose LOVE and DUTY and be fine like hell.

We will have a bittersweet ending, something similar to the Lord of The Rings ending or maybe even worst.

Jon will inevitably do the right thing because this is what he is.

Jon is the Shield that Guards the Realm of Men and at the end of the day, he knows he will eventually sacrifice everything for the others. His life, his own heart. I feel sorry for him: seems like Ser Allister was right.

I fought, I lost. Now I rest. But you, Lord Snow, you’ll be fighting their battles forever.

He will never rest.

I can’t go through this shit again. I don’t have the physical or emotional energy for it.

I need to sink myself in jonerys fanfictions, in jonerys arts and in some tons of booze to deal with Season 8.

Originally posted by batlabels


A Very Corgi Fanfic Masterpost

That’s a terrible title.  I’m sorry.

Here we are.  I finally did it!  I made a masterpost of all the fanfic I’ve somehow managed to write!  Wow, it’s actually more than I knew.

I did my best to arrange the stories by how they would fall in a timeline, not the date they were written.  I also included tags so you could seek out fluff when you need it and angst when you’re feeling… uh, angsty.

As always, the vast majority of this stuff is also on AO3 if you prefer reading it there.  The Tumblr layout isn’t always very easy on the eyes.  Here’s the AO3 link.

Wait… now I have to maintain and update this, don’t I?  Man…

Character Studies

(very short look into how a character handles a situation, featuring a fairly blank LI so you can self-insert your heart out!)

Alistair Theirin

Cullen Rutherford

Alistair Theirin x Astaria Surana

All of This - Alistair is heartbroken after Ostagar, he doesn’t have the time or the emotional energy to help an elven mage adjust to the outside world, but he doesn’t really have a choice.
(tags: extremely pre-relationship, sad Alistair, humor, mages be lost)

Farther Than I’ve Ever Seen - mages don’t climb tress, but Alistair is a natural.  Astaria pushes away her fears and tries to join him.
(tags: pre-relationship, fluff, comfort, humor, wardens sitting in a tree)

Drowning on Land - Alistair makes a careless mistake that nearly costs the Warden her life.
(tags: pre-relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, realizations, a fav)

Some Rain Must Fall - Alistair and his fellow warden end up caught out in the middle of a rather fierce rainstorm and must find shelter in the forest until it blows over.
(tags: fluff, mutual pining, pre-relationship, a fav story of mine)

Nightmare’s Bite - the Warden finds herself in the midst of a rather violent archdemon dream.  When she wakes it’s Alistair she turns to for comfort.
(tags: hurt/comfort, nightmares, pre-relationship, another of my favorites)

Sometimes It’s Not the Elf You Have to Worry About - Alistair and the Warden visit a local shop to pick up supplies.  The shop keeper questions her motives and Alistair unexpectedly intervenes.
(tags: elf warden, humor, short, elven racism?)

Broom Brawl - Alistair and the Warden get caught up in your everyday Ferelden tavern brawl while trying to wait out a blizzard.
(tags: humor, slap stick, fun)

Alistair Theirin x Astaria Surana AU’s

The Queen’s Button - short AU in-canon story where Alistair has a chance encounter with Astaria as a child
(tags: fluff, humor, children, elf warden)

Where the Sea Meets Monsters - modern AU, Alistair suffers an assault of seagulls and sand as a result of a discovery during a walk along the beach.  With awesome artwork from @rimdraws.
(tags: fluff, humor, silly Alistair)

In Vitamins, Fortified - modern AU short, Alistair and Astaria go to a supermarket
(tags: modern, short, fluff, domestic)

Man Feeds Dog - modern AU short where Astaria discovers a secret agreement between her mabari and Alistair
(tags: modern, short, fluff, domestic)

Holy Andraste’s Chantry Prep School Masterpost - a semi-modern AU set in a boarding school full of other students and teachers you may recognize
(tags: modern, multi-chapter, I don’t understand plots)

Cullen Rutherford x Talia Trevelyan

The Practice Mage - The Templar stepped away from her, moving the requisite number of paces to ready the fight. She drew in a deep, steadying breath. It was time. There was no way to delay.
(tags: backstory, hurt/comfort, angst, nightmares)

Decent of the Past - a brief history of the Inquisitor at important intervals of her life.
(tags: character building, backstory, short)

Taming Birds - Cullen can’t sleep and finds himself wandering Haven to ward off his nightmares.  He stumbles upon the Herald and her flock.
(tags: very early pre-relationship, confused feelings, fluff)

Parchment and Patience - Cullen finds the Herald’s journal mistakenly forgotten and attempts to see it safely returned to her hands.
(tags: very early pre-relationship, distrust, mages with a bad history with Templars)

Cookies and Consequences - The Herald attempts to repay her Commander’s kindness by baking him cookies.  Perhaps she should have listened closer to Dorian’s advice.
(tags: pre-relationship, snobbery as a defense, sorry Varric)

Muddled Clarity - After her first experience of drinking a tad too much, the Inquisitor is escorted back to her quarters by the Commander.  Her muddled state leaves him little clarity.
(tags: pre-relationship, fluff, mutual pining, slight angst)

Broken Resolve - Talia slips out to do some star gazing and comes across a heartbroken Alistair, she attempts to comfort him instead
(tags: sad Alistair, hurt/comfort, Alistair actually gives good advice)

A Simple Warmth - He wanted someone to know just how hard he was fighting and just how much pain he was masking. He wanted someone to know how hard it was just to get out of bed in the morning and how equally difficult it was to lie down and sleep. No, not someone. Her.
(tags: pre-relationship but close, comfort, angst, another fav)

Obvious Signs at Times Not Necessary - The Inquisitors Inner Circle has known for far too long that the Commander and Inquisitor belong together.  Why is it taking so long for the two to figure it out themselves?
(tags: pre-relationship but getting very close, hurt/comfort, humor, adorable nerds falling in love)

Just Good Friends? - Late nights draw off the conscience and evoke an affection the stark light of day would otherwise burn away.
(tags: pre-relationship but getting close, fluff, affection, much cute)

Missed Affections - the Inquisitor and Cullen discuss their new relationship and realize that neither of them is prepared.
(tags: relationship building, fluff, comfort)

Hands Made Not for Battle - a routine evening together for Cullen and the Inquisitor is disrupted by an attack.  The Inquisitor is forced to make a difficult choice to save the life of her commander.
(tags: hurt/comfort, violence, blood, angst, anxiety attack, another favorite)

Cullen Rutherford x Talia Trevelyan AU’s

A Modern Meeting - modern AU, Cullen first meets the Inquisitor while having a bit of very embarrassing car trouble.
(tag: pre-relationship, modern, fluff, meet cute, sorry New Jersey)

A Modern Request - Talia has a request for Cullen that she is embarrassed to ask for.
(tags: modern, fluff, humor)

Sam Yao x Runner 5 (Zombies, Run)

Empty Houses, Empty Hearts - Runner 5 is set out on a routine mission, midway she breaks from the route and becomes unresponsive on coms
(tags: pre-relationship, female Runner 5, disabled, deaf, hurt/comfort, angst)

*art by @rainbowd00dles

Imagine Request: Opie Imagine based on Give Me a Sign by Breaking Benjamin

Here’s the song:

And holy crap 600 followers! That’s insanity! Thank you guys so much! You’re all the best! xoxo


Opie gladly accepted the beer that Jax offered him as he sat next to him on the roof of the building that both of them had spent many days and nights on.

“What’s up?” Jax asked, taking a swig of his beer.

Opie shrugged, “Nothin’ much, just shit with Y/N.”

“She still upset over the stent you gotta serve in Stockton?” Jax asked him, although he knew that’s exactly what the issue was.

He nodded, “Upset is the understatement of the fuckin’ year. She’s livid.”

Jax shrugged, “Can’t help ya much there, man. That’s your own shit to deal with.”

Opie chuckled, “Wow, man thanks.”

Jax joined him in laughing, “Sorry man. I don’t wanna face her wrath any more than you do.” The guys shared another laugh before an eerie silence settled over the both of them. They both knew what the next few days would bring as both of them prepared to serve a one- year stent in Stockton.

Opie sighed, “I probably need to go home.”

Jax nodded in agreement before patting Opie on the back and watching him leave the lot.


You had been waiting on Opie for hours when you finally heard the familiar sound of his bike pull into your driveway. You were silently thankful Kenny and Ellie were asleep for the argument you were sure was about to ensue.

Opie found you sitting at the kitchen table when he walked in, taking a seat across from you. There was silence for a while before you made the first move to speak. “Where were you?”

He ran his hand through his hair, “I stopped by to see Jax for a bit.”

You scoffed, “You’re gonna be spending a whole year with him aren’t you?”

Opie sighed, “Please don’t do this shit tonight, Y/N.”

“That’s all you ever say, Ope. It’s always ‘not tonight, Y/N’,” you told him, crossing your arms as you sat back in the chair.

“What in the hell do you want from me?” Opie asked, looking you dead in the eyes.

You returned the look, “I need a damn old man who’s gonna let me be there for him. You go through this shit, acting like you’re all by yourself, and you’re not. I try to be here, and you won’t let me.”

Opie rolled his eyes before standing up to lean against the counter, “You’re bein’ ridiculous. I’m just tryin’ to come home and chill before I have to serve a god damn year in Stockton. I don’t wanna be doin’ this shit.”

You laughed dryly, “This shit you’re talkin’ about is our relationship. I’m a damn good old lady, I’ve proved it time after time. I’ve taken care of those kids sleeping in there, I’ve stayed with you after two stents in Stockton.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he attempted to explain, but you stopped him, holding your hand up.

“Ya know what, I’m leaving before this shit escalates and wakes up those sleeping kids,” you told him, standing up and moving to grab your coat.

He grabbed your arm, “are you gonna come back?”

You pulled your arm away before sighing, “You gotta give me a sign here Ope. Is this shit worth fighting before because I’m tired of fighting by myself.”


It had been two days since yours and Opie’s argument, and you hadn’t talked to each other since. “Y/N, someone’s at the door for you,” your mom told you, giving you a look that told you who it was at the door. You rolled your eyes before stepping onto the porch to be met by Opie.

“Hey,” you said, taking a seat on the porch swing, Opie doing the same.

“I’m sorry,” he told you, “I don’t know if that helps.”

You sighed, “I know you mean well, Opie, but damn, you’re always apologizing, and we come back to the same shit. It never changes.”

“You leavin’ me?” he asked, “I mean, I know you think I’m never around, but I pick up on shit, and I can feel you pulling away from me.”

“Do you want me to leave?” you asked him, looking over at him.

He shook his head, and you continued, “Then you gotta start letting me in, Ope. No more secrets.”

He nodded in agreement, “No more secrets.”

I just realized

Both niles and Odin have weirdly low cut shirts and like does Leo choose their clothing or did he just choose the two most low cut loving nerds in the country by chance??? Does niles and Odin have a secret agreement to wear them to embarrass Leo?? Where is Leo’s boob-window?? What is going on??

24th April 1558 saw Mary Queen of Scots marry the French Dauphin, François de Valois, at Notre Dame in Paris.

1548 the five-year-old Mary was sent to her grandmother Antoinette of Guise in France, where her Scottish entourage was considered appallingly barbarous and swiftly got rid of, and she was brought up as a Catholic Frenchwoman. French became her first language, she always called herself Marie Stuart and she loved dancing and hunting. She grew up delightfully charming, graceful and attractive, the French fell in love with her and Henry II of France resolved to marry her to his son and heir, the sickly dauphin Francis. A marriage treaty was signed with the Scots, which provided that Scotland and France should eventually be united under Mary and Francis as one kingdom. There were also secret agreements, which the youthful and inexperienced Mary signed, that would have made Scotland a mere adjunct of France.

Mary was fifteen and Francis fourteen when they were married with spectacular pageantry and magnificence in the cathedral of Notre Dame, Paris, by the Cardinal Archbishop of Rouen, in the presence of Henry II, Queen Catherine de’ Medici, the princes and princesses of the blood and a glittering throng of cardinals and nobles. The Duke of Guise was master of ceremonies. Mary in a white dress with a long train borne by two young girls, a diamond necklace and a golden coronet studded with jewels, was described by the courtier Pierre de Brantôme as ‘a hundred times more beautiful than a goddess of heaven … her person alone was worth a kingdom.’ The wedding was followed by a procession past excited crowds in the Paris streets to a grand banquet in the Palais de Justice with dancing far into the night.

Mary became Queen of France when Henry II died the following year, but Francis died prematurely in 1560. Whether the marriage was ever consummated is uncertain. Mary’s mother also died in 1560 and it suited the French to send her back to Scotland and claim that she was the rightful queen of England as well. 

She would eventually meet political and romantic disaster in Scotland, enduring years of imprisonment in England where, too dangerous a threat to Elizabeth’s throne, she was executed in 1587, at the age of forty-six.

The picture is of Francis and Mary from the Book of Hours of Catherine de’ Medici  which was created in the early 1570, although would have been put together through many years beforehand, Catherine was an Italian noble who was Mary’s Mother in Law.

Aesthetics for the signs

Aries: bonfires on warm nights, evening sunsets, the pungent smell of cinnamon, running feet hitting pavement, the exhilarating feeling of looking out a window of tall building.

Taurus: the smell of fresh rain on pavement, the sound of leaves on trees brushing together as the wind blows, partly cloudy skies, luscious hazel eyes, big open spaces

Gemini: cloudless blue skies, humid air, worn sneakers, crazy roller coaster rides, the inaudible chattering of a crowd, white teeth, mischievous smirks

Cancer: late nights, cozy blankets, old black and white films, bittersweet tears, the feeling of bare feet on a cold floor, rosy cheeks, soft touches from a significant other, starry skies and the full moon, feeling safe

Leo: sunlight pouring in from clean glass windows, hot weather, iced coffee, gold bracelets and rings, invincible confidence, delighted laughter, an audience’s thunderous applause, meaningful compliments

Virgo: the crisp smell of new books, the dim light of day, fresh morning air, cotton sheets, pure silence, clear skies, potted plants, quick kisses

Libra: the company of friends, oversized sunglasses, lofty voices, early morning phone calls from a lover, the undeniable feeling of peace, hand holding, watching the sun fracture the sky as it rises

Scorpio: pitch black nights, freshly brewed coffee, the undivided attention of a lover, unspoken agreements, secrets well kept, long and passionate kisses, meaningful caresses, getting lost in someone’s eyes, a sense of belonging

Sagittarius: the thrill of a crazy dare, uncontained laughter, new people and places, spontaneous adventures, colorful morning clouds, chilly weather, soft skin, racing heart beats, restricted places accessed

Capricorn: sleeping in, diluted thoughts, dried fruit, building forts out of blankets and pillows, soft banter, organized shelves, familiar smells and feelings

Aquarius: 3 am theories, the remnants of a peculiar dream, the untamed sense of guaranteed freedom, unplanned road trips, constant debate, witty phrases that hang in the air, infinite curiosity, cold mornings, knowledgeable smiles

Pisces: wet paint on a white canvas, echoic halls, the grumble of the ocean, the taste of salted caramel, innocent giggles, museum visiting, live music, dancing when no one is watching, befriending emotions, blissful exhales

Home - a short Vegeta x Bulma fanfic

They’d done it. They’d won.
The tournament had been won thanks to Vegeta, everyone was cheering.
Vegeta didn’t care for the group surrounding them, he pushed his way through, he never said a word. Too scared still - he didn’t really think it was over.
“Krillin, let him go.” Goku’s voice called out to him.
Krillin nodded, they all knew how tense the situation had been and knew notbto set Vegeta off.
“Isnt he gonna come celebrate?” Yamcha asked
Again Goku stepped in as Vegeta made his way over to Whis.

Whis already knew what he was going to ask, by the look on his face. None of the others had known of their secret agreement. .. to protect Bulma, no matter what.
Yet the look of relief across Vegeta’s face as he saw her in the orb - it was not a typical stern relieved Vegeta… it was one of love.
There she was, leaning over the crib of their newborn daughter, putting her down for her nap. Vegeta felt tears sting his eyes…
The Prince of Saiyans, crying? What a pathetic …lovesick fool.
Vegeta didnt care.

“Take me to her. Please.” Vegeta asked, urgency in his voice.
Whis smiled and nodded, turning to Beerus
“I trust I can leave you here to stay out of trouble my lord whilst I take Vegeta to Bulma?”
Beerus snorted
“Go already, Vegeta looks like he’s gonna pop a blood vessel if you dont go soon.”

Vegeta didnt care about the remark, he just cared about his wife.
It took half an hour, but soon he was home. Vegeta didnt even throw a “Thanks!” to Whis as he ran inside, he was running so fast the doors almost fell off their hinges.

“What the hell is going on?” Bulma asked outloud, not too loudly as not to wake up the baby.
She walked out of the nursery. She froze upon seeing Vegeta looking all beat up and bloody.
“Vegeta…” she whispered.
He ran towards her, pulling her close.
“Vegeta, Vegeta whats wrong? Did you win?… You’re … Are you crying? ” she said softly, wiping his tears.
“We won…we can all come home. We can keep our world” Vegeta spoke slow, it was just sinking into him that he’d saved everyone.
“It was all down to me and I did it… I thought…”

Bulma cupped his face.
“You thought you were going to lose me? How could you think that? I am so proud of you Vegeta…look how far you’ve come.”
“I thought i was never going to see you again. ..” he looked her straight in his eyes
Bulma had never seen him so scared before.
He leant into her, taking in her scent and everything about her and she lead him to thier bedroom, to dress his wounds slowly.

She was delicate with him, making sure to go slow to take in the story of what had happened. It seemed like hours before it had finished. Bulma helped slide a shirt on over his bandages. As her hands grazed his chest, Vegeta placed his hands over hers
“ I love you, Bulma.” He told her. He never said it often… but everytime he did, it just made him want to say it more.
“I know Vegeta, I know”
Vegeta pulled her closer for a kiss, their lips almost touching when…

“Mom? Dad? Goku wants to know if we can hold the party here!!” It was Trunks… and it seemed like everybody had been transported back safely
Vegeta laughed a little.
“Guess I’ve got work to do” Bulma smiled softly
Vegeta slowly stood up.
“We. We have work to do.” He said, holding out his hand to her
Bulma took his hand as she helped button up his shirt and kissed his lips. Vegeta pulled her in, wanting it to last longer.
“You can have baby duties then. Daddy’s little princess wouldnt mind that.” Bulma grinned as she finally pulled away
Vegeta smiled. “Maybe i’ll get to spend more time with Trunks too…”

“I’d like that.”
Vegeta and Bulma turned to see Trunks in the doorway. He grinned sheepishly as he realised he’d walked in on a rare, tender moment.
“Let’s go, Dad.”

‘One of the most remarkable characteristics of human nature,’ writes Lotze, ‘is, alongside so much selfishness in specific instances, the freedom from envy which the present displays toward the future.’ Reflection shows us that our image of happiness is thoroughly colored by the time to which the course of our own existence has assigned us. The kind of happiness that could arouse envy in us exists only in the air we have breathed, among people we could have talked to, women who could have given themselves to us. In other words, our image of happiness is indissolubly bound up with the image of redemption. The same applies to our view of the past, which is the concern of history. The past carries with it a temporal index by which it is referred to redemption. There is a secret agreement between past generations and the present one. Our coming was expected on earth. Like every generation that preceded us, we have been endowed with a weak Messianic power, a power to which the past has a claim. That claim cannot be settled cheaply. Historical materialists are aware of that.

Walter Benjamin, “Theses on the Philosophy of History”, 1940

Mod Kiibo is back and you better believe it!

Prompt: The ndrv3 boys reacting to a shy S/O.

Saihara Shuichi:

-The shyest couple of the year right here!

-In public, everything that the both of you do will result in both of you blushing immediately.

-Eye contact? Blush

-Hugging? Blush

-Saying that you love each other? Blush

-However, when it is just the two of you together, you are both very sweet to each other

-…except when Ouma walks in and teases you two, but you two have a secret agreement to chase him away whenever it happens.

Ouma Kokichi:

-He would tease his S/O so much just because why not?

-He pranks you as much as he can so he can see your reaction and how much he can get you to blush.

-He often hugs you randomly and secretly loves when you hug him back.

-Even though he teases his S/O so much, he will protect you.

-He will literally drag you away when he sees that you are uncomfortable and will give the people who you were talking to his creepy grin to scare them away from HIS S/O.

Rantarou Amami:

-He thinks that it is the cutest thing that you are shy!

-He occasionally lowkey teases his S/O to see her blush even more.

-Amami would probably play around with your shyness at first, but if he sees that it is getting serious, he will be there for you as quickly as possible and try to calm you down.

Gonta Gokuhara:

-He is a HUGE softie and would help you whenever you get too nervous or if you are having a problem.

-He will pull you right out of a conversation while saying sorry to the other people.

-Gonta wouldn’t realize that he might be squeezing your hand way to tightly whenever you got nervous, but you wouldn’t say anything because you knew that he was trying his best.

-He loves that sometimes you will spend time with his bugs with him to get away from large crowds of people.

-Would love to carry you and give you big hugs, but he respects that you don’t like people touching you a lot, so he wants until you say that it is okay for him to do so.

Korekiyo Shinguuji:

-Korekiyo would take you outside to a park whenever you needed to calm down.

-Together you two would sit in silence, where he waits to make sure that it is okay to touch you as he knows that you aren’t too fond of people touching you.

-Sometimes he would brush your hair with his fingers and braid it, and he would occasionally let you do it to him as well.

Kaito Momota:

-He doesn’t like making you feel too uncomfortable, but he still loves to make you blush.

-He thinks it is adorable when you blush and makes sure to tell you how cute you are to make you blush even harder.

-He tells his S/O how much he loves them just to see how much they blush.

When you are feeling shy or uncomfortable around someone, he will make sure that he immediately runs up and helps you out.

Ryoma Hoshi:

-Whenever you get too nervous, he takes you to the park where you two can peacefully sit under a tree or on a bench to help you calm down.

-Hoshi and you make a special code together that will signal for him to get you away from whoever made you uncomfortable.

-He will confront anyone who makes his S/O uncomfortable, keeping it a secret so you wouldn’t worry.


-When he first sees you blush out of shyness, he immediately tries to make sure that you aren’t sick.

-You try your best to explain that you are just really shy and that you’re just blushing.

-He is confused why someone like you would be so shy since you are by far the best person that he knows.

-Even though he is very confused about why you are shy, he still tries his best to comfort you.

-Kiibo is very cautious about making sure that you aren’t ever in a situation that you feel uncomfortable with.

-He makes sure to keep the fact that he think that you are adorable when you blush to himself.

Cross Marian #5 Anime vs. Manga


This is basically a rundown of the DGM anime, covering how TMS Entertainment villainized Cross Marian in the anime. 

Cross has this rep. as an inhuman psychopath, which is more suiting reputation for Winters Sokaro. 

I can only guess the anime is responsible for 70% of this. The other 30% may just be people who read the manga, but lack reading comprehension. This covers the former. All my other writings on Cross cover the latter. lol Please, check those out as well -all located in my blog.

Screenshots and manga panels are used to illustrate differences. Updated with Hallow as well. So lets begin. Hope you enjoy the read.

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Jungkook Scenario: Fire line Part 1.

Request: A jungkook scenario where he falls in love with the daughter of a well known gangster organization - and even though he knows it’s sort of the most dangerous thing he’s ever done he keeps trying to win her over like the cheesy dork he is♥

Genre: Romance - Mafia AU

Fire Line Part 2

-You have to stay away from me, everything related to me is dangerous- the words left your lips with a distressful tone. You looked at Jungkook who seemed taken aback by them, but you pushed him away from you, your hands landing on his shoulders and softly shoving him back. You were afraid your bodyguards would catch him approaching you again.

Taking a deep breath and avoiding his eyes, you continued your planned speech. -So please Jungkook, don’t keep trying to get close to me because if you do, you will only get hurt.- You didn’t even want to see him now, the reality of the world where you lived always left you on the horns of a dilemma; so you wouldn’t ask someone else to understand.

-But Y/N- Jungkook’s voice was as confused as his face. -Explain it to me, really, if you just explain it I would find a way to fix this, what is so dangerous about you?-

-I can’t tell you, please Jungkook, this isn’t easy for me either-

At this his expression went from confused to frustrated. -But tell me, how can I just stay away from you just like that?-

You didn’t know how to push him away without hurting him, but that was better than him being caught in your world. Jungkook was too sweet, you couldn’t stand the thought of him being harmed because of you.

-You will have to do that, I can’t tell you anything else- you adjusted your bag in your shoulder and he, noticing your were preparing to leave, took your hand to keep you in place.

-That is not a good reason-

You pulled your hand from his grasp. -It doesn’t matter, please Jungkook, stay away from me-

Walking to the door of the classroom you could feel his stare on your back, you couldn’t believe you had just done that, but it was for the best. You started to walk faster fearing he would follow you, Jungkook had to stay away from you, he had to be safe.

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