second resort

tumblr april fools day

2014: tumblr pro. advertised as something sleek, professional, life changing. disorientating video that ended with a top hat anti-climactically falling down on your head. initially it did not register in my mind as a joke and i was scared.

2015: the weird photocopier assistant cartoon. followed you down your dash and was annoying/obtrusive. you had the option to tell him to go away but he’d come back a few seconds later. everyone resorted to adblock

2016: reptile elections. topical, somewhat intrusive but i’ll give it a pass because it was funny and enjoyably engaging. i stand with mop and wretched tooth was corrupt.

2017: horse friend. shits itself everywhere and will die if you don’t pick it up. brings back the same anxieties that tamagotchis gave me but it’s small and easily minimised, has no sound and is generally polite and un-intrusive. could do with better horse names. also maybe not dieing every 2 minutes

“Well I have a _____ friend and they don’t care if I _____” is literally never a valid argument and the second you resort to it I know you’re full of shit

anonymous asked:

If you have time (omg I'm sorry but this prompt in my head forever) It's 3am and they are in a community kitchen in college and one is making brownies.

Percy had just wanted to get a glass of water.

When he enters the communal kitchen, blearily rubbing sleep out of his eyes, he realises what had woken him up in the first place. One of his roommates is standing with her back to him at the countertop, cracking eggs into a large mixing bowl. The kitchen looks devastated. Shared by six people, it never looks pristine, but right now a bomb could have gone off for the state it’s in.

“Um,” he says, still disorientated from the light and noise and explosion aftermath.

She turns and swears quietly. “Sorry, I thought I was being quiet.”

She was not, but Percy won’t begrudge her that. Partially because he’s a little bit in love with her (alright, mostly, but that’s not important right now), partially because he knows he’s woken her up at least half a dozen times since they moved into the dorms three months ago.

“S’alright. Just gettin some water.”

Annabeth smiles. “Alright.”

Percy opens the mug cupboard and after several seconds of staring at its contents and coming to terms with the fact that they don’t own any glasses not made of plastic, he grabs a mug with Walt Whitman’s face on it and fills it with water from the faucet. Instead of taking it back to his room with him, he leans back against the sink and watches Annabeth squint at her phone as she holds it three inches from her face.

“You alright there?” he asks.

She doesn’t look away from her phone. “My glasses are somewhere deep within my bag and I have neither the energy or determination to find them.”

“Okay.”

She looks at him. “Do you want to read this recipe for me or keep delivering these brilliant insights?”

He shrugs. “I feel like I could manage both.”

Annabeth hands her phone over with a roll of her eyes. Percy puts down his glass of water and shoves some of the debris aside so that he can sit on the counter top. Then he takes Annabeth’s phone and reads the title of the page.

“You need to google a recipe for brownies?”

“Alright, Martha Stewart. Just tell me what to do to make this delicious.”

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The saddest truth that I have come to learn is that I was never your first, nor second, but last resort.
— 

-Sadly, I was willing to settle for second

-m.t.t.

#13 Silent Communication

A/N: I would like to thank all of you for the lovely feedback on the last part. I’m glad you enjoyed the softer side of Voight.

I would like to thank @justkillingtimewhileiwait for helping me kicking around ideas for this. I hope you guys like it.

Prompt 13: Silent communication - They never needed to speak in order to know what the other one was thinking or feeling.

Word count: 1,224

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concept: an archie comic where Veronica gets frustrated that Archie always uses Betty as his second choice/last resort but Betty still goes out with him anyway, and meanwhile Betty always feels jealous when she sees Archie on dates with Veronica but when Betty’s the one on dates with Archie she doesn’t feel any better

they’re separately ruminating over their respective dilemmas when they realize, at the same time in different places, that they’re in love with each other. Betty’s actually jealous of Archie, not jealous of Veronica, because Betty wants to be the one on dates with Veronica and Veronica is mad that Archie treats Betty like shit because Veronica knows she’d treat Betty right

and as soon as they realize, they run to each other and meet up and end up confessing their love to each other at the same time and then dissolve into giggles when they realize they’re so in sync they confessed at the same time. and then goddamn, i dunno, Archie and Reggie walk past and see them laughing and Archie goes “it sure is nice to see those two getting along!” and then Betty and Veronica kiss each other and Reggie’s like “seems like they get along even better without you around!”

anyways please hire me to write the beronica arc of riverdale, thanks

Hunters and Happily Ever Afters

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Trigger Warnings: SPN canon violence, self-doubt, kissing, SLIGHT smut, implied smut, swearing

Word Count: 2435

A/N: This was written for Jen’s Disney Challenge AKA @deanjensengirlmaggie. The movie I chose was Sleeping Beauty. This didn’t really turn out how I originally planned but I think it turned out OK, not great but fine I guess. As always feedback is welcomed and if you want to be added to my tag list let me know. BTW Happy Birthday Jen. Oh, and just ignore the crappy little intro to smut at the end. It’s awful I know. That was my first attempt at something sexual so please be gentle. Enjoy! Also please ignore any mistakes I did my own editing and did a crappy job as im tired as hell

Summary: When you and the guys go after a witch in Anaheim with a Disney fetish you get caught in the crossfire. With you under a sleeping curse and the guys having only 72 hours to track down and kill the witch for the cure to work, will they be able to make it in time to save you? More importantly, will Dean’s true love’s kiss work to wake you up? 

Originally posted by jessestar10

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The sad part is, I do not really know who is honest with me and who is not. I hear lies upon lies every day. I fake smile, too. I am the backup plan, the second best, the last resort. I am insignificant to these people. How odd is that?

flickr

Twilight Time over Paradise Pier by Eddison Esteban
Via Flickr:
Twilight Time at the Disneyland Resort is always a special time as the day comes to a close and the night begin to take shape. The lights on the buildings and attractions contrast against the darkening blue skies, creating a perfect photo opportunity. To add to the shot, a slow shutters adds a blur to California Screamin’ as it launches from 0 to 55mph in 4 seconds!

Do you know how it feels to hate yourself the minute you wake up? What it’s like to feel the familiar sinking sense of failure creep into your mind at any moment through the day? Or feel like you’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard you try? Or what it feels like to watch your parents repeatedly choose your siblings over you? Do you know what it feels like to always be the second choice or last resort? How it feels like to look at yourself in the mirror, and feel the urge to smash it because the more distorted the image is, the less it looks like you. Do you have the slightest idea how it feels to look at your body and see the scars littering your arms, legs, hips, torso, and see them as the constant and permanent reminder of the many years worth of pain you inflicted on yourself? Or how it feels to live in perpetual darkness? Or deal with the unyielding urge to drown yourself in alcohol? Or put up the unspeakable urge to kill yourself? To deal with the black hole of darkness that is depression? Cause I do and let me tell you, seeing how people romanticize these things makes me so mad. Because there was no one to kiss my cuts and scars and call them beautiful, there was literally nobody to save me from my mind. No one but me. And I saved myself. I didn’t need anyone but now I realize, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to let someone in. But it is not okay to romanticize the darkness of depression. Depression isn’t just being sad. It’s not having motivation to do anything, it’s losing interest in your once well-loved hobbies. It’s losing yourself in a swirling and never closing black hole. It’s horrible but you can get through it.
—  Exerpt from my poetry journal.
A Little Too Late ((With Mistakes))

Anonymous asked: hi! can you write a laf x reader one where in one of them (a) likes the other (b) but the other doesn’t (and maybe has a relationship), so a tries to get over b? something like that idk how to explain it well HAHA sorry, and thanks in advance!


A/N: Probably rewrote this 80 times. Thanks to @myalexanderhamiltonjustyouwait for helping me end it. And I love this idea, I just don’t know if I executed it correctly.

Word Count: 1765

TW: Angst angst angst angst, drinking, mistakes, sex mentioned but no smut. 

AU: modern ((IM SORRY))

Pairing: Lafayette x Reader ((not really lol)


When he met you, he was coming off of a plane from France to his new home, America. He was participating in a foreign exchange student program with his ((also new)) college. You were there to pick him up.

The second he stepped out the terminal in his baggy sweatpants and sweatshirt, he knew he made a mistake wearing such hideous clothes. You looked absolutely stunning in a flattering (F/C) dress that hugged your curves and showed off your legs and arms while being modest. It complimented your dazzling (E/C) orbs, to which he was absolutely entranced in.

You were stunningly beautiful, while he was giving off a stunningly poor impression.

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