second amendment solutions

This has to do with coffee. 

I promise. 

Just bear with me. 

*deep breath*

I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT WE ARE HAVING TO HAVE THE NATIONAL CONVERSATION THAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING!

Stop. Full. fucking. STOP! entertaining the notion that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are equally noxious candidates. 

I fucking get it. Clinton doesn’t mark every box on your absurd checklist of ideological purity. She thinks every world problem has an american solution. She’s got money and she’s got friends with money. She’s an unapologetic capitalist. She’s a master at making political sausage and all the ugliness that tends to go with it. 

So fucking what? 

DONALD GODDAMNED TRUMP, Fuckface von Clownstick himself, is her opponent. This dude carries endorsements from actual nazis and the muthafuckin KKK. He’s got goddamned animatronic fuckwaffles at his rallies assaulting black people and threatening the media. 

This bloviating turd storm is threatening to jail his political rival and use the power of the government to litigate against his detractors. If he loses? The election was rigged by his crooked opponent and well, theres some second amendment solutions to that. 

This is an authoritarian wet dream.

But hey man, Clintons just as bad because she deleted emails?

Fuck you.

I aint even tryin to be polite about this anymore. If your heads were any farther up your asses, we’d need to replace your abs with a window so you could see where you were going. 

Clinton is a talented, capable, intelligent and experienced politician. She’s thoughtful and patient. And if nothing else, her emails (if you actually read them) point to a woman who genuinely cares about doing whats right for this country and its citizens. Does her vision of whats right differ from yours? Sure. But she’s provided ample evidence that she’ll listen to, consider and consult with experts when your vision and her vision come to odds. 

Trump? That tumescent, bilious vomit sack (and the people he would empower and validate should he win) poses a real and present danger to everyone in this country who isnt a white christian male. And he doesn’t fucking care. 

So spare us the goddamned pity party and/or the smug appeal to political reductionism. 

“but you said this was about coffee!”

I lied. But hey, global warming is going to destroy the coffee supply and Trump still thinks its a hoax perpetuated by the Chinese to ruin our economy. So there’s that. 

So get off your ass and vote Clinton. 

Because if you dont, when Trump has folks goose stepping on the whitehouse lawn, you dont get to a part of my super cool underground resistance movement. 

We’ll have sweet leather jackets. 

And coffee. 

“I’m afraid of an angry white dude with a gun who’s been told repeatedly that HIS country is dying and HE needs to take it back.”

derrick lemos  - https://medium.com/absurdist/what-taking-the-country-back-means-for-the-rest-of-us-fb3e0c2c9291

“I’m not afraid of teenagers building clocks. I’m not afraid of women having economic empowerment or sexual freedom. I’m not afraid of weddings with two grooms/brides, trans folks using bathrooms, Latinos making a living or Black people wearing hoodies and playing music.


I’m afraid of an angry white dude with a gun who’s been told repeatedly that HIS country is dying and HE needs to take it back.


We have made incredible strides towards real, tangible equality: The repeal of DOMA, the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling, several long overdue minimum wage increases and the ongoing efforts by many to end police brutality. However, those in positions of authority routinely whip their audience to frenzy as soon as we make the slightest bit of progress, all for the sake of political division and votes. This often ends in tragedy for the rest of us.

In 2010 Tea Partiers were screaming about Death Panels, Health Care and Government Tyranny while conservative voices like Sharon Angle were slyly suggesting that “Second Amendment Solutions” were what might be needed to help “restore America”.

A few months later, Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords was shot in the head, along with 17 others.

With the proliferation of cell phone video and police body cams, the last two years have presented more recorded evidence of rampant abuse and injustice at the hands of police than ever before. The necessary creation of Black Lives Matter and their demand for police accountability was seen as an indictment of white America for many conservative pundits rather than the much needed moment to analyze the deep seeded history of racism within the United States.
Within a year of the Black Lives Matter movement being ridiculed, dehumanized, and suggestively labeled as “radical”, Dylan Roof sat in Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church, and said, “I have to do it. You rape our women and you’re taking over our country. And you have to go.”

Even after this clear case of incendiary media influencing the mind of a psychopath, Sean Hannity stated his hypothesis that Black Lives Matter were out to “kill cops and kill white people.”

That ludicrous notion, hammered into the psyche of his viewers every day, is something that can and does create hostile environments for people of color, Trans folks, and gay men and women. Calling Black Lives Matter the “Murder Movement,” despite hard factual evidence that they do not condone violence against police and statistical data that proves officer deaths are at a 30 year low, is beyond irresponsible. It’s contemptuous and reckless.

Racism profiteer Ann Coulter recently parroted the position of eternal-shit-spewing-machine Donald Trump in regard to Latinos: “I have a little tip for you — if you don’t want to be killed by ISIS, don’t go to Syria. If you don’t want to be killed by a Mexican,” she added, “there’s nothing I can tell you.”

With every appearance, these conservative megaphones sell more books, make profits and go to sleep at night with visions of mason jars filled with “liberal tears” dancing in their heads. Meanwhile, to those ruled by hate and fear, the repeated suggestion that pro-choice feminists are baby killers, black civil rights activists are out to kill police officers and Mexicans are murdering rapists intent on turning the United States into Mexico are a call to action. The problem isn’t merely these easily debunked assertions. The problem is the total lack of accountability for the toxicity produced when one willfully plays to the dark side of American populism.


The problem is when a homeless Latino man gets beaten with a pipe by two angry white men who say “Donald Trump was right.”


The problem is an abortion doctor being murdered at church after twenty-eight episodes of The O’Reilly Factor accused him of “operating a death mill,” and labeled him “a savage on the loose.”


The problem is a Presidential candidate in the modern age pandering to a potential voter who stated on live television that “we have a problem in this country and it’s called Muslims” without rebuke.”

The “protect against tyranny” line of thinking re: guns stopped making sense around the development of aircraft. When everyone had muskets or early rifles, yeah, “Second Amendment solutions” were a thing. But bringing a semi-auto to a drone fight is like bringing a knife to a drone fight.

In 2010 Tea Partiers were screaming about Death Panels, Health Care and Government Tyranny while conservative voices like Sharon Angle were slyly suggesting that “Second Amendment Solutions” were what might be needed to help “restore America”.

A few months later, Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords was shot in the head, along with 17 others.

With the proliferation of cell phone video and police body cams, the last two years have presented more recorded evidence of rampant abuse and injustice at the hands of police than ever before. The necessary creation of Black Lives Matter and their demand for police accountability was seen as an indictment of white America for many conservative pundits rather than the much needed moment to analyze the deep seeded history of racism within the United States.

Within a year of the Black Lives Matter movement being ridiculed, dehumanized, and suggestively labeled as “radical”, Dylan Roof sat in Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church, and said, “I have to do it. You rape our women and you’re taking over our country. And you have to go.”

Even after this clear case of incendiary media influencing the mind of a psychopath, Sean Hannity stated his hypothesis that Black Lives Matter were out to “kill cops and kill white people.”

That ludicrous notion, hammered into the psyche of his viewers every day, is something that can and does create hostile environments for people of color, Trans folks, and gay men and women. Calling Black Lives Matter the “Murder Movement,” despite hard factual evidence that they do not condone violence against police and statistical data that proves officer deaths are at a 30 year low, is beyond irresponsible. It’s contemptuous and reckless.
Guns, Idiots, Casinos and Booze - in retrospect.

Obviously, the scale of this story is NOTHING compared to the scale of what is happening now. I continue to ache - and seeth - about what happened in Tucson… the tragedy of it all, and the causes behind it.

Still… Here.

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I was on the California/Nevada border… which is, if you’re curiousor checking a google map, is at the corner of “Meth” and “That Taco Bell Burrito with the Fritos In It.”

It was a gambling weekend - a stop there on a Friday and then two days in Vegas. So it’s midnight, and I’m playing blackjack. Minding my own business, splitting aces and eights and having as good of a time as you can have in one of those stateline casinos.

Then, some heavy-set, aggressive tub of human enters the casino… with a handgun strapped to his side in a holster.

When surrounded by casino security - duh - he decides to talk about his gun rights next to my blackjack table. Pinned between his gun and his ass… and the side of a table, I had to hope it ended peacefully.

I listened to this guy talk. It’s not like he left med school after twelve hours of learning about heart surgery and decided to take his pistol out for a drink to discuss the state of the world. No. This was someone I didn’t know, half a foot away from me with the power to end me accidentally (or intentionally).

Eventually, he mumbled, walked out of the casino, and went back home…

But it was a stark reminder that guns are the great lowest common denominator: Your logic, your reason, your life, your dreams… they can all be wiped out by somebody’s bad decision.

How small must his “you know what” be? How needy for attention, or desperate to be noticed or feared, that he had to waddle into a crowded casino on a Friday night packing heat?

Or was it something deeper - was he one more soul wound up, “armed” if you will, that the only thing that would help him stand out was the fact that he had the power to kill on his hip. He might have said “The ability to defend himself,” but that’s not what I - and everyone around me - felt. What we felt was his “unfair ability to intimidate.”

Maybe he was the most responsible gun owner in all of Nevada. I don’t know this.

The fact is… my life. My declaration of independence, my life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness was suddenly at risk because of somebody else’s poor judgment.

And THAT’S where I have my problem.

I have to fear, because he has to swagger. And that’s not very fair, is it?

So me, who does not want to holster a gun like I’m living in a poorly written Western, remains at the mercy of people that choose to, because they have nothing else to define them. There was NO reason to walk into this casino with a gun other than he was looking for a confrontation. And the lack of gunplay was simply a reflection of where that confrontation stopped.

Assumptions, sure. But had it not been for cooler heads, I have a different story to tell.

I went to bed, shaken. Annoyed. Wondering how anybody can get a gun, and how poorly thought out some of our laws our about who gets to carry them, and where they get to bring them.

Ten hours later, Jared Lee Loughner.