secomds

So yesterday 5SOS totally unexpectedly came out and gave us donuts and stuff. At first there were only 6 of us so they took selfies but after spending about 5 minutes talking with us, word got out they were here so 20 girls showed up. To make up for the girls who just got there, they took a group photo.

Kate and I are in the front row all the way on the left. Ashton’s finger is blocking part of my face and I’m holding a pink phone. Kate is on the left of me in the pic smiling like a princess. Best day of my life.

8.5.14

gUISE,I’m just back from croker and i sTG I’M STILL EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE,THE LADS WERE SO GOOD OMG AND ASHTON HAD NO RIPS IN HIS SHIRT AND LUCAS HAD A NEW STRIPED SHIRT AND THEIR FIRST SONG IS EIGHTEEN AND THEY FUCKING PLAYED BESIDE YOU AND I SHIT U NOT I SCREAMED SO LOUD I LOST MY VOICE 

Save Me [Michael Clifford]

*****(WARNING: could be triggering; this story could be triggering for those who have, are, have attempted, or have thought about self harm. I in no way condone this behavior and would strongly suggest to seek help emediately.*******

Michael: It was 1 A.M., you had been driving all night. Michael had called your phone over 20 times, but you didn’t care. You were furious at him. You two got into a huge argument, he had accused you of cheating and it made you angry, that he would ever think that. You fought for 5 hours. But eventually you left after screaming at him “Fine Michael! Forget it! Maybe I will cheat on you. And don’t think I’m ever coming back to you! You are a piece of shit, and I hope you rot in hell!!!” After you said it, you realized how harsh your words were. But it was to late to take your harsh words back at that point. You felt guilty and didn’t want to face Michael, but you had to at some point. You had been putting it off long enough.

You pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. You walked into that flat that you and Michael shared and to your surprise all you heard was silence. “Michael?” You called. But there was no response. You called his name Afew more times as you searched the downstairs. Then you went upstairs to look. You heard faint sobbing coming from the bedroom you and Michael shared. “Michael….” You whispered as you opened the bedroom door. There you saw Michael sitting on the floor next to the bed, with his back facing you. He turned around startled, his face was red and puffy, and his eyes were filled with tears.

"I’m sorry…" He whispered. You walked towards him your eyes widened when you saw it.

"MICHAEL!!" You cried. He had deep gashes on his wrist. You ran to him and pulled away his blade, and threw it behind you. You took off your scarf and quickly wrapped it around his wrist to stop the bleeding. You straddled his waist and wrapped your arms around his neck and just held him, he didn’t hug you back at first, he was probably in to much pain. But then after a minute or so, he wrapped his arms around you waist and squeezed your tiny frame even harder then you were squeezing his.

"I am so sorry Michael, so so so sorry." You said as tears were flowing from your eyes along with his. "Please don’t ever do this again". You slightly released him from you hold, so you could look into his eyes, your hands were on his cheeks. He let out a small whimper, trying to steady his breathing, as you whipped away a tear on his face. He would barely open his eyes and kept looking down, in an attempt to avoid eye contact. "Please…. Michael look at me, sweetheart. I love you so much, I didn’t mean any of the things I said earlier… I promise Michael. Please look at me." His beautiful orbs finally met yours, they were filled with so much pain and anger, you could barely look at him like this, you just wanted to make him feel better and hold him as he wept. He was finally able to choke out words

"I- … I…. Couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving princess your my everything and with out you I just, I don’t know what I would do….." Tears began to free fall from his eyes again as you engulfed him back into your death gripping hug.

"Shhhh. Baby shhhh. It’s ok. You don’t ever have to think about that ever again. I promise I won’t leave you, no matter what." You meant those words with all your heart. You wanted to spend the rest of you life with this boy. You wanted to see him smile, you wanted to be the reason he smiled, you wanted to wake up everyday wrapped in his arms and look up to see his smiling face surrounded by his brightly colored hair. But you can’t predict the future nor can you change fate, so who knows if all of that will be true 10 years from now. But that night it was true, you were the reason he smiled and laughed, you were what gave him hope, peace, and happiness. And the next morning, you sure as hell woke next to the man of your dreams, your one and only, Michael clifford.