seceder

How The Younglings Sticked It To Palpatine

So, I just got a pretty weird idea about a fic I’m never going to write. Though, I present the prompt to your collective insanity to crackify it even more. 

@forcearama @albaparthenicevelut @lurkingcrow @resistancepilots @tygermama @asokatanos 


Imagine Knight Anakin Skywalker who was put on probation (something about blowing up a building, Obi-Wan, making things go boom is a legitimate strategy!). A part of his punishment is to teach a few lessons in the Créche. Anakin awaited a horribly booooring afternoon with a bunch of kiddies.

Well, it showed up that the lessons were on galactic politics and kid version about “Why the hell do we even fight a war.”

The thing is, that the only way Anakin knew anything about the legal side of politics was Obi-Wan’s unorthodox style of teaching via presenting his Padawan with completely surreal situations which he had had to analyse with laws.

Surreal situations such as seceding the Republic.

“Imagine, kids, that you really, really don’t like a thing. Like tubers for lunch.”

“Ew!”

“Tubers, yuck!”

“We hate tubers!”

“We want ice-cream.”

“But they won’t give us any.”

“Exactly. Now, your caretakers won’t do anything about it despite your protests. So, you declare that you don’t find their authority beneficial anymore, and you write it down. That means that you don’t have to listen to them anymore, and you can do whatever you want. Well, at least what is legal in your new state.”

“How do you write the paper?”

“Well, everything that you need to know is in the Planetary Membership Act.” Anakin was proud he remembered the exact law. A couple of younglings rushed to the datapads. Aw, youth! Look at their enthusiastic lil’ faces!

When he came back the next day with Ahsoka for another lesson, the younglings surprised him when they locked the door behind. And barricaded it with the furniture.

He looked around the tiny forms, all of them beaming with self-satisfactory smiles. One of them, a little Twi’lek girl beamed with pride when she stepped to him, a piece of flimsy in her hands.

“Oh, no….” Ahsoka sighed. Anakin had no idea what was going on.

“Yes, little one?”

“We have declared a new state!” the girl said, handing him the flimsy. “Welcome to Créchestan, President Skywalker!”

“What the…” He eyed the flimsy. Oh force. Oh force.

“Well… At least you know how to write legally binding documents, don’t you,” he gulped.

Obi-Wan’s going to kill me.

i may have just unintentionally challenged thor to a duel. im gonna freakin die
2019
  • NYT: Trump Launches Attack on Delaware After Provocation
  • WSJ: Trump Strikes Back Against Delaware Insurgents
  • WaPo: Don't Be Mad At Trump for Delaware War- Be Mad At Congress
  • CNN: Delaware Needs Our Help, Says Pentagon
  • Fox News: Why Is It Always the Blue States?
  • NPR: Trump, Rebel Commander Markell Swap Insults
  • Vox: Why Dover is Such a Hard City to Take Back
  • Huffington Post: Delaware Has A Right to Secede
  • The Guardian: Civilian Body Count in Wilmington Hits 2,000
  • Breitbart: Rebels Look a Little Mexican, If You Ask Me
  • Mother Jones: The Alt-Right's Newest Conspiracy Theory Is Ridiculous
  • Forbes: Arms Industry Sees Major Growth in Q3
  • Buzzfeed: School Children Try Delaware's Local Root Beers
  • The Atlantic: Delaware: A History of Insurrection
  • Vice: Delaware's Death Metal Scene Makes Tough Choices
  • Economist: Free Trade: The Olive Branch We Need
  • Mic.com: JK Rowling's Epic Callout of Delaware's Racism
  • Daily Caller: Senate Democrats Refuse To Protect U.S. Soldiers
  • Reuters: Trump, Rebel Delegation Meet in Boston for Peace Accords
  • ThinkProgress: Boston Treaty Wouldn't Have Been Possible Without Jimmy Carter's Help
  • USAToday: Trump Op-Ed: You're Welcome, Delaware
On The Civil War: It Was About Slavery

“The Civil War was not fought over slavery but over…..” Whenever someone rolls out this argument, especially in reference to racism in America, they are either intentionally trying to whitewash history or are completely ignorant of it. South Carolina was the first state to secede from the Union. Here is what they wrote in their articles of secession:

“We assert that fourteen of the States have deliberately refused, for years past, to fulfill their constitutional obligations, and we refer to their own Statutes for the proof.

The Constitution of the United States, in its fourth Article, provides as follows:

No person held to service or labor in one State, under the laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in consequence of any law or regulation therein, be discharged from such service or labor, but shall be delivered up, on claim of the party to whom such service or labor may be due.

This stipulation was so material to the compact, that without it that compact would not have been made. The greater number of the contracting parties held slaves, and they had previously evinced their estimate of the value of such a stipulation by making it a condition in the Ordinance for the government of the territory ceded by Virginia, which now composes the States north of the Ohio River.

The same article of the Constitution stipulates also for rendition by the several States of fugitives from justice from the other States. The General Government, as the common agent, passed laws to carry into effect these stipulations of the States. For many years these laws were executed. But an increasing hostility on the part of the non-slaveholding States to the institution of slavery, has led to a disregard of their obligations…

The ends for which the Constitution was framed are declared by itself to be “to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.”

These ends it endeavored to accomplish by a Federal Government, in which each State was recognized as an equal, and had separate control over its own institutions. The right of property in slaves was recognized by giving to free persons distinct political rights, by giving them the right to represent, and burthening them with direct taxes for three-fifths of their slaves; by authorizing the importation of slaves for twenty years; and by stipulating for the rendition of fugitives from labor.

We affirm that these ends for which this Government was instituted have been defeated, and the Government itself has been made destructive of them by the action of the non-slaveholding States. Those States have assume the right of deciding upon the propriety of our domestic institutions; and have denied the rights of property established in fifteen of the States and recognized by the Constitution; they have denounced as sinful the institution of slavery; they have permitted open establishment among them of societies, whose avowed object is to disturb the peace and to eloign the property of the citizens of other States. They have encouraged and assisted thousands of our slaves to leave their homes; and those who remain, have been incited by emissaries, books and pictures to servile insurrection.”

South Carolina certainly believed defending the institution of slavery was important enough they made it the central point in their argument for seceding.

The next state to secede was Mississippi:

“Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery - the greatest material interest of the world. Its labor supplies the product, which constitutes by far the largest and most important portions of commerce of the earth. These products are peculiar to the climate verging on the tropical regions, and by an imperious law of nature, none but the black race can bear exposure to the tropical sun. These products have become necessities of the world, and a blow at slavery is a blow at commerce and civilization. That blow has been long aimed at the institution, and was at the point of reaching its consummation. There was no choice left us but submission to the mandates of abolition, or a dissolution of the Union, whose principles had been subverted to work out our ruin.

It has grown until it denies the right of property in slaves, and refuses protection to that right on the high seas, in the Territories, and wherever the government of the United States had jurisdiction.

It refuses the admission of new slave States into the Union, and seeks to extinguish it by confining it within its present limits, denying the power of expansion.

It tramples the original equality of the South under foot.

It has nullified the Fugitive Slave Law in almost every free State in the Union, and has utterly broken the compact, which our fathers pledged their faith to maintain.

It advocates negro equality, socially and politically, and promotes insurrection and incendiarism in our midst.”

Mississippi certainly believed slavery was the main reason they were willing to leave the Union and was pissed the North was advocating for black equality.

How did Georgia feel about slavery and secession?:

“The people of Georgia having dissolved their political connection with the Government of the United States of America, present to their confederates and the world the causes which have led to the separation. For the last ten years we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slaveholding confederate States with reference to the subject of African slavery. They have endeavored to weaken our security, to disturb our domestic peace and tranquility, and persistently refused to comply with their express constitutional obligations to us in reference to that property…

By anti-slavery it is made a power in the state. The question of slavery was the great difficulty in the way of the formation of the Constitution. While the subordination and the political and social inequality of the African race was fully conceded by all, it was plainly apparent that slavery would soon disappear from what are now the non-slave-holding States of the original thirteen. The opposition to slavery was then, as now, general in those States and the Constitution was made with direct reference to that fact. But a distinct abolition party was not formed in the United States for more than half a century after the Government went into operation. The main reason was that the North, even if united, could not control both branches of the Legislature during any portion of that time.

The North demanded the application of the principle of prohibition of slavery to all of the territory acquired from Mexico and all other parts of the public domain then and in all future time. It was the announcement of her purpose to appropriate to herself all the public domain then owned and thereafter to be acquired by the United States. The claim itself was less arrogant and insulting than the reason with which she supported it. That reason was her fixed purpose to limit, restrain, and finally abolish slavery in the States where it exists. The South with great unanimity declared her purpose to resist the principle of prohibition to the last extremity. This particular question, in connection with a series of questions affecting the same subject, was finally disposed of by the defeat of prohibitory legislation.”

Georgia believed slavery was the central reason for secession, not just slavery in the slave-holding states but expanding the practice to the Western Territories.

What say you Texas?:

“Texas abandoned her separate national existence and consented to become one of the Confederated Union to promote her welfare, insure domestic tranquility and secure more substantially the blessings of peace and liberty to her people. She was received into the confederacy with her own constitution, under the guarantee of the federal constitution and the compact of annexation, that she should enjoy these blessings. She was received as a commonwealth holding, maintaining and protecting the institution known as negro slavery - the servitude of the African to the white race within her limits - a relation that had existed from the first settlement of her wilderness by the white race, and which her people intended should exist in all future time. Her institutions and geographical position established the strongest ties between her and other slaveholding States of the confederacy. Those ties have been strengthened by association. But what has been the course of the government of the United States, and of the people and authorities of the non-slave-holding States, since our connection with them?

We hold as undeniable truths that the governments of the various States, and of the confederacy itself, were established exclusively by the white race, for themselves and their posterity; that the African race had no agency in their establishment; that they were rightfully held and regarded as an inferior and dependent race, and in that condition only could their existence in this country be rendered beneficial or tolerable.

That in this free government all white men are and of right ought to be entitled to equal civil and political rights; that the servitude of the African race, as existing in these States, is mutually beneficial to both bond and free, and is abundantly authorized and justified by the experience of mankind, and the revealed will of the Almighty Creator, as recognized by all Christian nations; while the destruction of the existing relations between the two races, as advocated by our sectional enemies, would bring inevitable calamities upon both and desolation upon the fifteen slave-holding states.”

Texas not only argued they were leaving the Union because of slavery but made a special point of claiming slaves were inferior and have no agency.

The articles of secession from the rest of the Confederacy states are short, pro-forma statements claiming their right to secede. These four states felt the need to go into detail as to why they believed it necessary to fracture the Union. When they did make economic arguments it was always in reference to slavery-either the impact ending slavery would have or the “unfairness” of being treated differently with regard to treaties for being pro-slavery. At the heart of every argument for seceding was their belief that they were entitled to own other people. Period. Full stop.

“The Civil War was not fought over slavery” claim is a lie, an intentional lie to make those who supported the Confederacy then and now feel better about themselves. After the South lost the War and anti-slavery sentiment increased, it became harder to argue that slavery was a legal, moral institution. Those who seceded from the Union, took up arms against their fellow Americans and almost ended the United States as it was known needed to feel good about themselves. They needed a way to claim the damage they caused and the decisions they made to secede were “noble.” Even though slavery was the original reason they gave, they knew they couldn’t use it any longer, especially if the goal was to claim you acted “nobly.” They needed to come up with other, after-the-fact reasons. The most prevalent of these hindsight reasons was/is “states’ rights.” States’ rights makes it sound like they were defending the rights of the people in their state against the big, bad, evil federal government. It made their acts sound “noble.” It was and is complete bullshit. The States’ Rights argument for the Civil War is nothing more than an attempt to whitewash history and vacuum the collective conscious of the South for going to war over their perceived right to own other people as property. Don’t take it from me, take it from the white, Southern politicians who wrote the passages above as to why they felt they needed to secede from the Union.  

anonymous asked:

Harriet Tubman was cynical, she would force people to escape against their own will with a gun to their head. She has more flaws than you think.

YEAH, YOU CAN MAKE ANYONE SOUND TERRIBLE IF YOU STRIP AWAY ENOUGH CONTEXT! 

YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE THERE WERE HAPPY SLAVES WHO WOULD HEAR A CLICK BEHIND THEM AND TURN TO SEE HARRIET TUBMAN SAYING “ESCAPE OR DIE, JERK, YOUR CHOICE.” THAT’S NOT HOW IT WENT DOWN. 

HARRIET TUBMAN WAS A CRIMINAL, WHICH I’M OKAY WITH BECAUSE THE LAW SHE WAS BREAKING WAS UNJUST, AND THAT’S WHY SHE PACKED HEAT. IF SHE WAS CAUGHT, SHE’D STAND A FIGHTING CHANCE OF DEFENDING THE PEOPLE SHE WAS ASSISTING. 

NOW, AS FOR “FORCING PEOPLE TO ESCAPE AGAINST THEIR OWN WILL.” THE PEOPLE SHE PULLED A GUN ON WERE ALREADY ON THE RAILROAD WITH HER OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL. THEY WERE PEOPLE WHO WERE TRYING TO ESCAPE, AND WHO KNEW ONCE THEY SET FOOT OFF THE PLANTATION THAT THERE WAS NO GOING BACK. THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO LEAVE THE PLANTATION WITH HER, BUT IF THEY DID, IT WAS “ESCAPE OR DIE TRYING.”

HOWEVER, IT WAS NOT UNCOMMON FOR THEM TO TRY AND TURN BACK ANYWAY. TRYING TO ESCAPE WAS DANGEROUS AND MISERABLE, AND STOCKHOLM SYNDROME IS A THING. MANY OF THEM GOT COLD FEET WITH THE PROSPECT OF THE UNKNOWN STRUGGLE OF A FREE PERSON IN THE NORTH, WHICH FOR ALL THEY KNEW WOULD BE WORSE THAN THE FAMILIAR STRUGGLE OF A SLAVE IN THE SOUTH. MANY OF THE OTHERS FIGURED THEY’D BE CAUGHT AND RETURNED ANYWAY AND THAT THEIR PUNISHMENT WOULD BE LESS SEVERE IF THEY TURNED THEMSELVES IN AND BLEW THE WHISTLE ON TUBMAN AND THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD. EVEN IF THIS WASN’T THEIR PLAN, ANYONE WHO’D SEEN HOW THE RAILROAD OPERATES WHO RETURNED TO THE PLANTATION WOULD BE TORTURED INTO GIVING UP THAT INFORMATION. 

ANYONE WHO WENT BACK TO THEIR PLANTATION PUT THE REST OF THE RUNAWAYS, PRESENT AND FUTURE, IN DANGER, AND TUBMAN COULDN’T ALLOW THEM TO BLOW HER COVER AND GET ALL THE PEOPLE SHE WAS TRYING TO PROTECT CAPTURED OR KILLED. SO YES, WHEN SOMEONE ATTEMPTED TO TAKE SENSITIVE INFORMATION ABOUT THE METHODS OF THE RESISTANCE BACK INTO ENEMY TERRITORY, SHE’D PULL A GUN ON THEM AND GIVE THEM THE CHOICE BETWEEN GETTING TO “LIVE NORTH FREE, OR DIE HERE.”

BUT I WANT YOU TO STOP THINKING ABOUT HARRIET AS A CIVILIAN FOR A MOMENT. SHE WAS A SOLDIER, A SPY, AND AN INSURGENT REVOLUTIONARY IN A WAR THAT STARTED CENTURIES BEFORE THE SOUTHERN STATES SECEDED. THE RUNAWAYS IN HER CARE CARRIED INFORMATION THAT WOULD ALLOW THE ENEMY TO WIN THE WAR, AND I’M CURIOUS AS TO WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE HER DO. 

SHOULD SHE ALLOW PEOPLE WHO KNEW ALL THE RESISTANCE’S TRICKS AND SECRETS TO ALLY THEMSELVES WITH THE ENEMY BECAUSE THEY’D LOST FAITH THE WAR COULD BE WON? SHOULD SHE HAVE SENT THEM HOME WITH A BAG LUNCH FOR THE ROAD AS LONG AS THEY PINKY-PROMISED THAT THEY WOULDN’T TELL? 

BECAUSE REALLY YOU ONLY HAVE TWO OPTIONS: WOULD YOU RATHER “HARRIET TUBMAN OCCASIONALLY PULLED A GUN ON PEOPLE ATTEMPTING TO BETRAY HER AND THE PEOPLE UNDER HER PROTECTION TO PEOPLE WHO WOULD ENSLAVE AND MURDER THEM WITHOUT LOSING A WINK’S SLEEP,” OR “THE SLAVE STATES LEARNED THE SECRETS OF THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD, RECAPTURED THE RUNAWAY SLAVES, AND KILLED HARRIET TUBMAN SO SHE COULDN’T LEAD ANYONE ELSE TO FREEDOM?” 

I KNOW THERE’S PROBABLY A MIDDLE GROUND, BUT I’M TELLING YOU AS A HISTORIAN THAT THE LATTER IS THE MOST LIKELY SCENARIO, AND WHEN YOU’VE LIVED THE HORRORS HARRIET TUBMAN HAS LIVED, YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO TAKE THE CHANCE THAT YOU MIGHT GET LUCKY AND THINGS WON’T GO WRONG. 

some fun greater seattle area memes (feel free 2 add):

  • dIcK’s TaKeS cReDiT cArDs?!?!!
  • verizon not being worth shit on the east side/in snohomish county
  • when will the sonics return from war
  • 12th man flags on every other house
  • hydroplaning
  • patagonia
  • flannel
  • hiking boots
  • everyone has some kind of connection to macklemore
  • “mack-luh-more”
  • and we danced being played at every middle school dance
  • people screaming the part in can’t hold us where it’s like “i got my city right behind me”
  • just…macklemore
  • mt. ranier sometimes just casually disappearing
  • portland
  • cranes…..so many cranes
  • cascadia wanting to secede (& subsequent doug flags on cars, shirts, in classrooms,)
  • amazon’s glass balls
  • ultimate as a school’s biggest sport
  • the kettle corn at spring reign
  • ski bus
  • lynwood honda (experience the difference)
  • “what the fuck is a mopop” as “what the fuck is a centurylink”’s logical successor
  • school getting canceled over one (1) inch of snow
  • actually irl screaming while driving on aurora
  • people either loving or hating starbucks
  • victoria
  • ride the ducks
  • having to take vitamin d because the sun hates us
  • “actually, portland gets MORE rain than us,”
  • microsoft shuttles
  • bob’s corn maze
  • nobody owning a raincoat
  • the underground tour as a repeated default field trip throughout elementary/middle school
  • you dub vs. wazoo
  • going on the deck of a ferry in the rain just to prove you’re not weak
  • gray™
  • salmon…….everywhere

When Walt Disney was scouting locations for Disney World, he had a problem. If the local landowners discovered that he was buying up masses of land in the region, prices would rise astronomically. In order to work around this, he set up a series of dummy corporations with pun names (the M T Lott Co., for instance) and made the purchases through them, allowing him to buy over 40 square miles for less than $200 an acre.

With the land in their possession, Disney then needed a way to do whatever they wanted with it without The Man meddling in their affairs. So by teaming up with actual fucking CIA agents (who know a thing or two about dealing with troublesome governments), they managed to strike a deal with the government which transformed the area into a regulation-free zone known as the Reedy Creek Improvement District. Effectively a self-governing fiefdom, the local board handles building code regulations, emergency services, energy policy, public services, and maintains the highways and waterways. Florida collects property taxes, and that’s about it. In 2005, the chief of Florida’s Bureau of Fair Rides Inspection observed that the state couldn’t even shut down the rides.

Despite seceding from the Union, however, Disney loves to interfere in politics, particularly when it concerns their bottom line.

5 Insane Jerk Moves Pulled By Disney (You Never Knew About)

The argument that socialists shouldn’t use any modern technology or shop for groceries because they were made under capitalism contradicts the idea that we can just secede from capitalism and start a commune. 

You’ve already admitted that capitalism is more or less a total system, where even buying shit makes us hypocrites. How can we possibly escape it without violent revolution?

By the Dim and Flaring Lamps: Part One, Chapter One

Some brief background info: I don’t want to assume everyone reading this has ever studied American history, so here are the basics. The American Civil War began in April of 1861, following the secession of eleven southern states from the Union. If one were to ask why they seceded, the answer would vary greatly depending on the political viewpoint of the person answering, but in this story, I am working from the assumption (amply supported by historical documentation) that slavery was the primary cause. So if that’s something with which you take issue, I would recommend not reading, because I’m not here to debate it. The Northern states were known as the Union (also Federals or Yankees), and their soldiers wore blue, while the Southern states were the Confederacy (also known as the Rebels), and their soldiers wore grey.

The majority of the fighting took place in two theaters: Eastern and Western. This story is focused primarily on the fighting to the East, where the Army of Northern Virginia (commanded by General Robert E. Lee) fought against the Union’s Army of the Potomac (commanded by an ever-changing cast of characters until Ulysses S. Grant, formerly in charge of the Army of the Tennessee in the West, took over command of all Union armies in May of 1864).

“By the Dim and Flaring Lamps” begins on the eve of the Battle of Gettysburg. In June of 1863, Lee, deciding to take the fight to the enemy after two years of conflict on Southern soil, led his army northward into Pennsylvania. The Army of the Potomac, under the command of General George Meade, newly-appointed, was moving northward as well, through Maryland, and the two armies converged on the small town of Gettysburg in a pitched battle that lasted for three days. It remains some of the bloodiest fighting ever seen on American soil, fought on ground that was (and remains) every bit as beautiful as the fighting was ugly, and in the end, the result began to turn the tide of the entire war.

This story, whose title is taken from a line in the Battle Hymn of the Republic, follows Captain Fox Mulder, who fights for the Union in spite of his Virginia family’s staunch loyalty to the Confederacy, and his dear friend, the enigmatic young Private Scully. Their regiment, the Eighty-Third Pennsylvania, was a real regiment that fought at Gettysburg in the same position as the one in the story, but the similarities between the historical regiment and the one in my story end there. It’s going to be a long one, folks, so buckle up and let’s get going.




JULY 1, 1863
WESTERN MARYLAND, NEAR WESTMINSTER

The early July morning has dawned hot and humid, with a thick, humid haze blanketing the Maryland farmlands, obscuring all but the closest tents in the encampment from view. The rising sun will likely have burnt off most of the mist within hours, but for the time being, nothing seems to exist beyond this circle of tents surrounding the dying embers of last night’s cooking fire. Captain Fox Mulder, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he gazes about at the world of white surrounding him, shrugs into his uniform jacket, buttoning it distractedly as he contemplates preparing coffee. Crouching by the fire pit, he stokes the embers and, with a sigh, decides to wait and come back when one of the other officers has gotten the cooking fire going again.

What Mulder really wants most, right at this moment, is something approaching real solitude. He has the luxury of having a tent to himself, it’s true, but walls of canvas do nothing to contain the snoring of those sleeping near him, and within the boundaries of the camp, he never feels truly alone. The regiment will be on the move shortly- their march north through Maryland is being carried out with great haste- but for now, Mulder would like just a few minutes completely on his own before getting into position to march at the head of his company.

Beyond the outer circle of tents, the rolling Maryland wheat field continues for some two hundred yards before meeting the tree line. Mulder knows this, not because he can see any of it in the morning fog, but because he had glimpsed it in the moonlight as the regiment had made camp the previous night. He trudges across the field (making every effort to stay between the planted furrows; the army has trampled this poor farmer’s lands enough already), making for the edge of the woods.

Like any good farmer, this one has taken great pains to clear all of the rocks and boulders from his field before planting, and they’re piled just under the eaves of the trees. Mulder scrambles up onto a particularly large boulder, one that must have taken an entire team of horses to relocate, and lets out a deep breath.

Away from the camp, the only sounds that Mulder can hear are the birds in the trees overhead and the occasional rustle and crunch of leaves as squirrels and chipmunks go about their morning business. He spies a fat brown rabbit, scampering along the edge of the field, crossing directly in front of him, completely unaware of his presence, disappearing into the safety of the underbrush.

“You should have shot it.”

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I Insist (Lin/Reader)

Prompt: This wasn’t actually a requested prompt, it was just something Taylor and I (@secretschuylersister ) kind of came up with last night. We were talking about how Lin was such a good guy and would almost comically go out of his way to continue to be a good guy even after the smallest of mistakes. And this was born.

Author’s Note: I have a friend who lives in the heights (actually a few) who I visit relatively often. Since its gentrification began, it’s a pretty quiet neighborhood. Literally every family I know who lives up there (except for one) is white and has a child under age 10. The non-white family also has a child under age ten. Quiet neighborhood.

This plot also kind of came from the fact that, when I get like mega-rich, giving an insanely large tip to a waiter/waitress is something I intend on doing pretty frequently.

Pairing: Lin-Manuel Miranda/Reader

Summary: You’re a waitress working the night shift. A friendly man comes in one night, sits alone, writes beside a few cups of coffee, and leaves without tipping. You hope to never see him again, but he returns the next night.

Rating: PG for like one minor curse word.

Warnings: Nope

Words: 1589

Askbox / Masterlist / What I Write

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anonymous asked:

What are some funny US history moments you can think of?

Oh god you have no idea what you’ve just started:

-Thomas Jefferson almost starts war with England because he escorted the wrong woman into dinner.

-Merriwether Lewis is accidentally shot in the ass.

-Andrew Jackson’s parrot is ejected from Jackson’s funeral because the American people won’t let the parrot say fuck.

-James Madison accidentally buys prostitutes. 

-William Henry Harrison thinks bad life choices are a good idea and dies.

-The Treaty of Ghent

-Abraham Lincoln is elected and everyone in Baltimore is super pumped until they see a picture of him and collectively decided that nobody that ugly should be president. (disclaimer: I am not of the belief that Abe was ugly, but you have to admit the people of Baltimore and fucking petty and it’s hilarious)

-New England tries to secede because James Madison isn’t their real dad. The country takes it has a huge joke and laughs it off (even though they were 110% serious about leaving the union.)

-John C Calhoun. That’s it. Just John C Calhoun: what a fucking meme of a man. 

6

Sheev-Lursha - The Protector of Saxhleel Tradition

Argonians, or Saxhleel, are an oviparous race of reptilian people native to the large and marshy province known as Black Marsh, a region of Tamriel. They can be found in smaller numbers throughout the continent, and have been featured in every one of the main games thus far. Argonians are one of the few races completely unrelated to men and mer, being descended directly from the Hist. Enigmatic and intelligent, the Argonians are experts of guerrilla tactics, and their natural abilities suit their swampy homeland. They have developed immunities to diseases that have plagued many would-be explorers in the region, and they are capable of easily exploring underwater locations due to their ability to breathe water. Argonians also have some resistance to poison. They are also very capable warriors and archers due to their constant use of guerrilla warfare against Warring Tribes or Dunmer slavers.

Argonians start out in life as eggs; when a clutch of Argonian eggs is laid, they are placed near Hist trees in areas known as hatching pools. When the eggs hatch, they form a connection to the Hist. If, for whatever reason, this connection to the Hist is not present or is severed, the unborn within the eggs die. After being born, Argonian hatchlings drink the sap of the Hist and continue doing this through their infancy. According to them, the sap of the hist tree, when drank, gives a hatchling its soul. When that Argonian dies, his soul travels back to its Hist tree and is stored until another hatchling drinks that Hist. Thus, the Hist is giving it a soul, and so the cycle repeats. It is unknown if a hatchling would really have a soul of its own without receiving one from the Hist.

During the Oblivion Crisis, a powerful political faction known as the An-Xileel rallied the Argonians against the Daedra after the Battle of Kvatch. The An-Xileel were staunch Argonian traditionalists, tracing their ancestral ways back to the great Xanmeer civilization. It is also rumored that they of all the Argonian tribes have the strongest connection to the Hist and can receive knowledge and prophecies. When the Oblivion Gates opened in Black Marsh, the Daedra didn’t so much flood into Argonia as the Argonians did into Oblivion. The natives fought and defeated the Daedra on their own turf, doing so with such success that the Dremora lieutenants actually closed their Gates themselves to prevent being overrun, an occurrence unheard of in the other provinces. Thus, the An-Xileel held Black Marsh until Martin Septim ended the Oblivion Crisis and closed the Gates forever. They also made Black Marsh the first province to secede from the Empire after the Crisis ended, and initiated a brutal campaign of war against the Dunmer of Morrowind for the countless centuries of slave raids and Argonian servitude.

So there was this Boys State and Girls State thing where certain kids across the state get selected to go to several seminars on local government and participate in a mock senate and house. It’s a great opportunity to learn parliamentary procedure, practice writing legislation, and otherwise learn about local government.

The girls made legislation in favor of clean energy, decriminalizing drugs and prostitution, and other legitimate topics. The debates were largely very passionate moral activist issues.

The boys however seceded from their mythical nation, made Saturday a sabbath for “cracking a cold one” with the boys, passed a bill to carve Texas into the moon, and pushed another bill passed to solve global warming via sunscreen.