season one only because i already wasted enough time on this today

Kane, Jaha, And Bellamy: Atonement, Redemption, and Learning to Live With What You’ve Done

In the first three episodes of season four, Bellamy has gotten two “here’s how you move on” pep talks, one from Kane in 401 and now one from Jaha in 403.  Each one offers starkly different advice for him, and I think in each instance it reveals more about the advice giver than Bellamy himself.  Both Kane and Jaha are men who have made mistakes while leading much like Bellamy, and given the whole “the youth are inheriting the earth” theme we’re going with this season, I don’t think it’s an accident that they’re laying out two different paths for Bellamy to take.

Let’s start with Kane.  At the end of 401 he says, You turn the page and you don’t look back. You do better today than you did yesterday, you understand?  Before you know it, you’ll deserve to survive.  Kane gives Bellamy two concrete pieces of advice for dealing with his guilt: put it behind you and do better.  There’s no changing the past and no reinterpreting it to make yourself feel better– you own up to the shit you did, and you make sure you don’t do it again.

This is basically what Kane did after the Culling, after all.  He did his best to save everyone, both on the Ark and then on the ground.  He’s committed himself to not making the same mistakes and I would say he’s been pretty damn successful.  But I also want to draw your attention to the last bit of his advice:

Before you know it, you’ll deserve to survive.  

He’s offering Bellamy a chance to escape his guilt through atonement.  Kane is suggesting that good deeds might not wipe away the terrible things he’s done, but that they might eventually outweigh his sins.  There’s no fixing the past, but you can earn a better future by atoning for what you’ve done.  It’s an action-based plan, which I think would appeal to Bellamy but I also don’t know if he’s totally on board.

Now, there’s Jaha.  You’ve made mistakes, it’s true, but your intentions were pure.  Every choice you made you made to save your people, even shooting me…twice.  As long as that’s the truth, you don’t need redemption.  What Jaha suggests here is very different from Kane, because he essentially says no further action is needed.  All that matters are Bellamy’s intentions, and as long as his motive was to save their people he’s already in the clear.  In contrast to Kane, Jaha proposes an entirely theoretical model for easing Bellamy’s guilt.

This fits perfectly with Jaha’s character thus far, especially on the ground.  Where Kane focused on deeds to prove himself worthy of surviving, Jaha has examined his motivations.  I do think it’s accurate to say that he sought out ALIE and the City of Light to try and save his people, and while that created terrible destruction, his motivation was, to use his word, pure.  

And don’t forget: As long as that’s the truth, you don’t need redemption.

To paraphrase Sex and the City for a moment, Jaha basically got that out of Convenient Theories for You Monthly.  ALIE’s reign of terror over Polis lead to countless deaths, but Jaha has already made his peace with that.  (I don’t think he’s completely over the deaths he’s caused, but I think he has accepted that he can’t change what happened and thus further guilt would not be productive).  However, I also want to contrast his concept of redemption with Kane’s (implied) concept of atonement, because redemption is given to you, but you earn atonement.

Jaha claims to not even need redemption, but I don’t think that’s entirely true.  He told Clarke to hope there’s a forgiving God, after all, so I do think he’s worried about his soul.  But I also think he sees that as in someone else’s hands– he did what he did and he may be judged for it, but there is nothing he can do to change that now.  Nothing will bring those people back so he will not waste time seeking atonement.  He will continue to live and try to save his people, because at the end of all things what matters is what is in your heart.

At their most basic, these two options are essentially Catholicism (absolution is earned through penance and good deeds) and Protestantism (forgiveness is granted by the grace of God alone).  I don’t think the show is necessarily making a point about Christian morality, but I do think it is worth pointing the parallels out.

And now, for Bellamy’s choice.  

At first blush, it seems like Bellamy is choosing to listen to Kane.  He responds I hope so when Kane offers his guidance, and it makes perfect sense, character-wise, for Bellamy to listen to his beloved Beard Dad.  They are characters whose arcs have paralleled each other, especially during first season, and they have very similar I Am Your Dad Now habits when it comes to strays.  Bellamy clearly looks up to Kane, and atonement-through-deeds would obviously appeal to a character like Bellamy who prizes action above almost all else.  He chose to save the slaves in 402, putting the immediate lives of those he knows he can save above the hypothetical lives of people he isn’t sure they can save several months from now.  He’s saving who he can save today, one day at a time.  He’s turning the page and doing better, and according to Kane that means that one day, he’ll deserve to survive.

But I’m not so sure Bellamy believes that.  Let’s go back to the end of his conversation with Jaha: If you’re wrong and there is a hell, I guess I’ll see you there, Bellamy sneers.  And then Jaha hits the nail on the head: How many people do you have to save before you forgive yourself?

Guys, Bellamy doesn’t answer because there isn’t a number– for Bellamy, there is no atonement.  He can save every single person on the face of the earth and it still won’t be good enough.  So with Jaha– a man Bellamy clearly doesn’t particularly like, which I point out because a lot of times it is easier to be honest with people we aren’t close to– we see that mask slip.  Jaha says okay, tell me the number– how many good deeds do you have to do to save your soul? and Bellamy just looks away.

He’s caught here, because not only is there no atonement for Bellamy, there’s also no redemption.  He doesn’t believe I meant well is a good enough reason for redemption, but he also doesn’t believe there’s anything he can do that can outweigh the bad things he’s already done.  He’s never going to deserve to survive, and if there’s an afterlife, he’s going to be punished for his sins.  This is a bleak, dark place for Bellamy to be, and it hurts.  But it’s also clearly the beginning of his arc, not the end.

So where is he going to go from here?  Well, as always with this show, I think he’s going to find himself carving a third path.  Kane is standing on one side saying you can earn your absolution and Jaha is on the other side saying your sins are too heavy for that, you must make peace with your intentions.  I suspect Bellamy is going to have to find a middle ground somewhere between atonement and redemption– to accept that he may never be able to forgive himself for what he’s done, but make some peace with it anyway.  He’s going to have to save who he can save today, and then forgive himself for the ones he couldn’t.

Jamie Benn #5

Requested by Anon:  Hi!! I love your writings and I read them all as soon as I followed you! But I was wondering if you could write something about Jamie Benn? I’m feeling something sad so idk something like he was in a bad accident and now he’s in a coma and he has been for a while (a couple of years) and you visit him every day but now you’re wondering if you should move on and idk… You can end it however. Thanks !!

*Than you so so much! I hope you like this and I know it’s been a while but I hope you’re feeling better now (I feel like you wanting something sad is a projection of what you were feeling when you made this request but IRDK). Caution: really sad and a lot of internal conversations. I am not a nurse/doctor/or someone who works in the medical field so if I got some things wrong, please bear with me. :) Enjoy!*

Word count: 932

Originally posted by seguinsharp

The steady beep, beep, beep of the heart monitor that was once a solace has now become something of a death sentence you can no longer ignore. Behind you, the tv is playing the Stars-Avs game, Razor’s voice booming and lively. How they managed to get the Stars games in British Columbia, you still don’t know but you’re thankful nonetheless.

Just as the Stars’ goal horn sounded, with Jordie assisting on a Tyler Seguin goal, his mom came up behind you, reaching out to comb Jamie’s hair back, “he’s doing better today,” she said, voice so quiet that you had to strain your ear to hear her. It’s as if she’s scared to be too loud.

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The Forgotten King

-This is kind of like a fic, but not exactly written with the intention to be one, but please still read and enjoy! This is written with Jeremy as the main character, but has very light Joelay elements- 

-To summarize this plot, There are five immortal kings, but Jeremy, a scholar in the domain of King Ryan, finds ancient texts that talk about a sixth king – The king of Thorns. He sets off on a quest to find more information, if not the king himself (because after all, how do you kill an immortal?) and in the process ends up becoming the new sixth king himself-


The five immortal kings ruled all of the land. Powerful beings that could crush the world in two, yet looked just like another person. The only thing that gave them away was the thrones they sat on and the look in their eyes that had seen the centuries. Despite their strength, they do not consider themselves gods. 

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MistyMountainHop’s That ‘70s Show Fanfic that Never Was: #9

A few years ago, I wrote a partial draft and outline of a One Difference story, but other stories stole my creative attention. I’d held off from sharing this one here because I thought I might finish it someday, but that seems highly doubtful now (I’m working on several other stories I very much hope to post).

Remember, first drafts are just that: first drafts. I revise a story a lot before I post it on FFNet and AO3 (which is one reason why I take longer to put out new stories than other people). Beware clunky sentences and other strange, first drafty things (*lol*).

And now, without further discussion, I present…

aka One Difference: Hyde Doesn’t Pass Out (at the Beer Warehouse)

August 18, 1979
Point Place, Wisconsin
The Pinciottis’ Living Room

Jackie and Donna finished off their joint. The smoke hadn’t made Jackie feel better about Steven’s absence, and being surrounded by the tacky décor of Donna’s living room didn’t help matters either. Aqua and silver belonged at the bottom of the ocean together, as a rusting hull of a ship and the water surrounding it. They didn’t belong in a house.

Donna was going on about starting a rock band called the Sandy Sandals, but sand reminded Jackie of dirt, and dirt reminded her of Steven. She’d given him an ultimatum, either he proposes or she leaves for Chicago to start a life without him. He had until noon tomorrow, seventeen hours from now, but as each minute ticked by, her heart sank lower and lower in her body, like that silver ship. Rusting and rotting at the bottom of the sandy ocean. And now she was back to Steven.

“You know,” she said, “I thought if I really put myself out there he’d see how much I love him and say yes right away. And then when he didn’t, I thought, ‘Okay, well, maybe he’ll take a couple hours and then say yes.'” She frowned, even though it would give her frown lines. “But now I think he’s only taking so long ‘cause he’s gonna say no.” Her heart plummeted to her knees. “Donna, what if he says no?”

“Jackie, if Hyde says no, then you and I get a van,” Donna said, smiling, “and the Sandy Sandals tour America.” A thick candle was lit on the coffee table behind the couch. She took it and gazed into the flame, but she replaced it on the table when hot wax dripped on her hand. “Anyway, men are stupid. Eric knows who I work with at the radio station. There’s no Kevin. He should’ve realized I was trying to make a point by saying I had a date tonight. But at least I hurt him a little, like he hurt me a lot by deciding to go to Africa without even talking to me about it.”

“Men are stupid,” Jackie said. “Steven has the most beautiful, talented woman on the planet wanting to spend the rest of her life with him, and all he can do is say, 'I don’t know’? Idiot.”

“Well, helloooo, toots!” Eric said. He was at the hallway door, and he stumbled down the one step to the recessed living room. “Back from your date so soon, huh? Used to be you had to buy a girl dinner if you’d want her to …” he gestured at Donna, “slide all over you, moaning like a ghost.”

Jackie and Donna share a disgusted look. Then Steven stumbles down the step and bumps into Eric. “Outta the way, Forman.”

“Steven?” Jackie jumps up from the couch.

Donna stands up behind her and says, “Okay, you know what? I didn’t have a date, but I should’ve.”

“Wait, so you lied?” Eric says, and Steven looks unsteady on his feet, like he’s about to fall over.

Jackie pushes Eric out of the way, and Eric crashes to the floor. But Jackie doesn’t care. She supports Steven, who’s swaying on his feet. “What happened?”

Donna goes to Eric’s side and helps him up. “They’re drunk-a-duck. Daffy Duck. Wascally wabbits..”

Eric says, “And you’re high.”

Donna giggles. “Yeah.”

Jackie, though, thinking about Steven then seeing Steven, has sobered up a bit. “Drunk?”

“Jackie,” Steven says, “I gotta tell you somethin’, Jackie … but first, I gotta get on the floor.”

“What?” Jackie says, but Steven’s already on his knees.

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Renegade (pt. 3)

Originally posted by parkchanyeolieoppa

Another wolf-finds-his-mate story, but I kicked it up a notch and created a whole new world around it.

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Genre: Supernatural (EXO as wolves, but more species involved in the storyline)

Word count: 5039 words

Warning: None!

New to the series? Start your adventure here: Prologue (Don’t skip it, it contains info you’ll need in a small part of this chapter)
The posts will always contain a link to the next part, unless that part hasn’t been posted yet.

Part 3

The light that shone through the open windows, brightened the whitely painted parquet floor and wheat brown walls of Chanyeol’s bedroom. Whereas last night, the artificial lightening from his simple pendant Scandinavian ceiling light gave the feel of a cosy bedroom, the atmosphere in the room was now more heavenly. The sound of whistling birds filled the room and small details such as the tree stump nightstands, his carefully located acoustic guitar and the present house plants even made one overlook the small mess on his desk.

Chanyeol felt very comfortable. Despite his legs being tangled up with (y/n)’s under the sheets, the feeling of his arms holding her close and her perfume, now perfected in his presence, satisfied his inner wolf immensely and he wanted time to stop so he could stay like that forever.

He opened his eyes, curious to (y/n)’s sleeping figure. As her head was nestled snugly in his neck, he carefully tried to lower himself without waking her to be at eye-height with her.

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i. falling in love

ft. akashi seijuurou

Originally posted by sweet-cozy-home

To fall in love with someone is to let the feeling flood under your skin before realizing its presence.

You’ve been together for two months now, but your relationship threads way, way back before he confesses to you that day in front of your house where he drops you off. It was a risky act for him to do, considering the fact that your friendship with him has been going on strong since your high school years—had you chose to reject him that day, the two of you would’ve lost something platonically beautiful going on, but thankfully he gained something even more beautiful.

Ruby eyes examine your form sitting in front of him across the quaint table for two. A steaming hot cup of tea is conveniently placed at your right-hand side, and he can faintly see hot vapor swirling out of the cup. Has it really gotten colder? You, on the other hand, are comfortably silent as you slice a piece of the shortcake he ordered for you, bringing the sweet to your mouth with a fork. He smiles as you munch—you really look cute like that.

“How do you like it?” He inquires, resting his chin on a hand while his other brings his own cup of latte to his lips. He still watches as he tips his head back slightly to drink, observing how your eyebrows scrunch up at the first taste. A second later, however, your eyes appear as if they’re twinkling and a smile slowly enters your face. When you look at him, he cocks a brow, a silent demand for an answer.

“It’s delicious,” you whisper, and a swell of happiness fills Akashi’s chest. It’s stupid, really—he shouldn’t be happy because it wasn’t him who made the cake, he merely suggested it… but as illogical as it is, Akashi welcomes the surge of joy (and a hint of pride) when he looks at you dig back in, cutting up the slice of cake into smaller pieces.

What he doesn’t expect is you holding up a fork with said cake at the pointy end in front of his face, dangerously close to his lips. You’re taking the effort to lean a bit forward to offer the cake—Akashi vaguely registers the brush of your knees against his. There’s something about the café’s atmosphere that makes the two of you feel a lot more intimate, despite sitting right next to a floor-to-ceiling window which allows bypassers to conveniently see what’s going on inside and vice-versa. 

Akashi sends you a look that you interpreted as scolding, but not of the serious nature, but nevertheless, he leans forward to capture the cake on your fork into his mouth, all the while retaining eye contact with you. You blush a little bit because it feels different every time you feed Akashi something, and the fact that he was looking at you like that also sends a chill up your spine. He’s always teasing you like that.

“Somehow it’s better than the last time I tried it,” Akashi comments as he reaches out to take your hand in his, “maybe because you’re the one that fed me the cake.”

You try your best to stifle an embarrassed laugh by chewing your bottom lip, but a shy glance at Akashi is enough to bring your efforts useless. You let out a chuckle and play with his fingers that reached out to you on the table, your thumb drawing abstract patterns on the back of his hand. He returns with a chuckle of his own before quietly observing you again as the air around you turn into more of a resolute kind of silent. It’s not awkward, but there’s a certain amount of seriousness in his gaze that makes you feel like it.

“Thank you for coming today,” he says, soft enough just for the two of you, “I really appreciate it.”

“Please don’t thank me. If anything, I should be the one thanking you,” you reply, holding his hand a little tighter now. “I also thought it was a good idea to tell her…”

An hour ago, you were placing a bouquet of beautiful, fragrant flowers in front of the tombstone of Akashi’s mother, the two of you standing alone in silence as the wind run through yellow leaves. A cemetery certainly isn’t an ideal place for an eighth date, according to most people, but you’ve known Akashi for far too long and you understand him on a level that most people don’t. The redhead is silently thankful for that.

“Yes,” Akashi says, “we were too busy the past few months to visit, after all.”

“I’m glad you brought me there, Sei.”

He smiles in return, looking at your two hands linked together.

To fall in love with someone is to let the feeling flood under your skin before realizing its presence. In other’s eyes, Akashi is ever-precise and calculative, and they like to assume it applies to his love life as well. It’s not incorrect, but it’s also not necessarily true. After all, he didn’t plan on falling in love with you two and a half years ago, because at that time the feeling hit him like a truck. All of a sudden he lost a great amount of good night’s sleep staying awake thinking of you.

When he knows of your reciprocative feelings for him, only then he asked you out. You told him it took him a damn long time. He told you he wanted to be sure. The two of you kissed.

Although he has now fully accepted the fact that he loves you, he has never said those words to you before, neither have you to him. But today, when the two of you were standing side by side in front of his mother’s grave, he knows you know. More importantly, he knows that you feel the same—not just on a “like” level, but as far deep as he is. He knows you love him. That’s not enough for Akashi, however, so he pulls his hand away from yours, only to caress your cheek. 

He brushes a strand of hair away from your face to stare right into your eyes. Your fork is forgotten, idly lying at the rim of the pristine white plate.

I love you,” he says.

Two seconds pass by before you smile at him.

“I know.”

A question lingers in his eyes—at that moment, the confidence in him is completely shattered: what if you don’t love him back? but you don’t give room for his self-doubt as you reply.

“I love you too.”

He smiles. You probably didn’t catch him releasing a relieved exhale.

You tilt your head slightly, urging his hand to touch you more. His fingertips are warm against your cool skin. You always like it when he does this. Akashi brushes his fingers against the back of your ear, his palm cupping your jaw as if he were scratching a pet cat. You sure respond like one, he muses. Akashi wants to say that he’s been in love with you for two years and six months to date, but he has a feeling you already know. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, gaze drifting downwards to your inviting lips.

Sudden shyness overcomes you as you avert your gaze, your hands flying up to cover the bottom half of your face. Akashi’s shoulders are moving slightly; he’s quietly laughing with amusement at your display of embarrassment.

“But… we’re right next to the window… a lot of people are passing by and they can see.”

Akashi smirks, using the hand on your face to keep you still as he leans dangerously close to your face, his head slightly tilted. Again, he steals a glance of your lips.

“I don’t care,” he states, and his breath against your skin causes you to shudder slightly. His eyes twinkle at your utterly adorable reaction, but he is not so cruel as to tease you again.

You look up at him, still shy like you always become when he makes such advancements in public. His knees brush against yours under the wooden table as he captures your lips between his in a slow, languid kiss, like the small steady fire burning inside his gut. Your eyelids flutter when he takes his time sucking on your bottom lip, before finally releasing it with a rather inappropriate wet sound, but he doesn’t waste his time in diving back for another kiss.

When he does pull away, half-lidded eyes examining how flushed your face is, he whispers against your ear.

“Stay at my place tonight.” He needs to properly declare his love to you. You blush and nod.

What a paradox. During the season of falling leaves, Akashi finds his feelings for you blooming, reborn a hundred times more powerful than when it first hit him. If he looks closer into your eyes, he’ll find that the sentiment is returned whole-heartedly.

Fall 2016 Anime: Last impressions

What, me? Posting something that’s not Yuri on Ice? Did I wander to the wrong blog? Oh right, this isn’t supposed to be a Yuri on Ice blog to begin with, oops.

After a very shitty semester and my Mom’s and sister’s vacations messing up with my anime watching schedule (plus a shitty vicious cycle of not watching anime to work on thesis-not working on thesis because stressed from not watching anime), I finally finished catching up with Fall anime, barely on time before Winter begins (I know some winter shows have premiered already, but none that interest me. Rakugo’s on today though!!!!). So here’s a rundown of the best and worst of this most fruitful Fall season. If there’s a gif it means I forgot to take a screenshot of the last episode whoops.  (worst to best my dears, you know how this goes)


Shuumatsu no Izetta: I really tried. Even after the stupidity of episode 4 put me to sleep, I tried to give it a second shot, but episode 6 was literally everything that is wrong with modern anime and ugh, please release me from this hell. Of course having a strong female character was too progressive for a yuribait show, you just had to make her have insecurities about her normal-sized boobs (vs everyone’s ginormous) and dedicate 25 entire minutes to show that she’s actually a real girly girl that likes pie. Ugh. And I didn’t even mention how stupid the “Izetta’s secret might be revealed” plot element was. That was some garbage writing if I ever saw one. Most of what I’ve read after dropping it seems to indicate it was the best choice

3gatsu no Lion: I’m confused with this show. The production values make it very attractive to watch. There is a harsh and interesting story and character drama happening. Episode 5 was particularly great, and some of the storytelling devices are implemented brilliantly. But for some reason I can’t bring myself to care? I don’t know. The more I see the three sisters, the more the scenes with them bore me to death. I found the idea of watching episode 6 terribly not-compelling so I decided to put it in the back burner and wait out. Maybe I’m just incompatible with this mangaka (I really hate HachiKuro). People seem to be loving it, so maybe I’ll give it another shot at a later date.

Touken Ranbu Hanamaru: This was my biggest disappointment of the season because episode 2 was so good. It tickled all my rekijo bones in the best way. But then it just… nothing ever happened? Also the way all the sword boys gush about how much they love the (invisible but obviously audience-proxy) “Master” is way too transparent and took me out of whatever little interesting character dynamics might be going on. What could be an interesting theme –the swordboys having regrets about not protecting their past owners and being tempted to fix it- is wasted in a “it’s okay, I have a new master now!”. Even with my fujoshi goggles there was little of interest because the boys were so infatuated with the Master I couldn’t even enjoy any of it. Held out until episode 9 and just couldn’t be arsed for more. Maybe the more serious ufotable show will be better?

Nanbaka: I don’t know what went wrong with this mangaka that suddenly decided to turn a perfectly fine comedy into a Very Serious battle shonen thing? Especially mid-arc? The New Year tournament had revitalized the show, I was having a load of fun with it, but then it suddenly turned all dark and serious and nonsensical? The only thing tempting me to go back for the last three episodes is Hajime, he’s a champ. But yeah, the shift in tone was too drastic and kind of spoiled the show for me because I was loving it exactly as it was. It didn’t need the drama. Some people seem to be liking the new direction but ehhhh… idk. If I have time.

The worst:

17. DAYS: It was hard to choose which of these two was gonna be the poop prize winner, but in the end, given how much I struggled to even sit through the last couple of episodes, I guess DAYS takes it. Honestly seldom have I seen a show so infuriatingly ruined by “protagonist no jutsu” i.e. things just happen because a dude is the main character. Kimishita scored three completely bananas goals in that game (bless his heart I love him), but Tsukushi gets all the credit for earning the free kicks and second balls and shit and he’s the one credited as the “hero” of the game. It’s amazing that such an insufferable protagonist is part of a show with an otherwise endearing supporting cast. Now will my love for Mizuki and Kimishita be enough to pull me into watching season 2? Tune in some time next year to find out! (spoiler: most likely no unless it comes out on a boring season)

16.Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku: I called this show the winner of the “Showed its cards too early Award” since episode one, but boy I didn’t expect it to continue doing the exact same thing over and over through its entire run. At some point it became a very unsurprising formula of showing a character’s tragic backstory at the start of the episode to fabricate last minute sympathy to make up for lack of proper characterization, only to have the character in question murdered in increasingly distasteful ways. I always knew best girl Top Speed wasn’t long for this world, but the way they handled it was gratuitously vicious. Couple that with a barrage of villains, none of which were remotely compelling or had any interesting motivations, a poor man’s Kyubey, a protagonist that is even more infuriatingly passive than Madoka herself (at least in this aspect, MahoIku surpassed its intellectual mother), and a resolution that basically says this whole thing served no purpose whatsoever and you’re left with just a feeling that you could’ve done something better with your life. I never expected grandeur from this show, and in fact I guess it turned out to be about as bad as I could’ve expected it to be, but that doesn’t really erase how terribly dissatisfying the ending was. I guess that’s one weakness that Dark Magical Girl shows have yet to overcome. 

Originally posted by sailorcinnamonroll

Normally a “the meh” section would be here, but I dropped all those shows for lack of entertainment and time, so we’re skipping straight to

The okay

(I liked these shows but none of them changed my life and I was severely tempted to drop them at least once)

15.Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans: I have rather complicated feelings about this show. The writing has improved immensely since the second half of S1 and they’re doing a fascinating job at working the different shades of moral grey. Mika’s sick relationship with Orga continues to keep me on my toes. But with only 12 episodes left I’m still not entirely sure of where this is going, and most importantly, it stinks of tragedy and there seems to be a general lack of joy in both characters and story, so I always go to watch it with little enthusiasm and maybe a bit of anxiety.

Originally posted by studiochizu

14.Girlish Number:  This one turned out way better than I expected it to be, although perhaps for different reasons than most. Usually when I hatewatch something, it’s for the pleasant schadenfreude I get out of seeing something continue to fail miserably week after week (see Sailor Moon Crystal or Mayoiga). In that sense, I wasn’t hatewatching Girlish Number but boy was I getting schadenfreude about seeing the exploitative producer go on a downwards spiral and the shitty LN anime adaptation turning up a complete failure. But because this was the source of my enjoyment, the finale was, to say the least, dissatisfying. If the show had ended with Chitose getting a proper comeuppance and landing different jobs (in non-shitty-LN-anime) that forced her to climb her way back up instead of trying to have  sudden fabricated popularity, while Kuzu got his ass fired that would’ve been cool. But the “Oh I ended loving this production” ending was ehhhh. It felt the show ended going milquetoast on its criticism of the industry. Criticized the seiyuu idol units but still had the seiyuu sing the OP and ED criticized the cheap swimsuit fanservice but still had a swimsuit episode etc. I mean they went really damn hard on the industry, so it was weird and a little frustrating that they didn’t go the whole way, given how they’d already guaranteed to lose the buying audience anyway.

13.Udon no Kuni no Kiniro Kemari: It’s hard to explain what went wrong with this one because, if you asked me, I’d say I really liked it overall. But the key problem is perhaps that I adored the first two episodes so deeply and then somewhere in the middle it kind of floundered and went in a different direction than what I expected –which isn’t inherently bad, mind you- but it’s weird that there’s so little actual udon in the show when they’re in the title. The finale was good in idea, but I feel it failed to make the emotional landing, and that they capped it off to be a sort of commercial for Kagawa prefecture was just… weird. So uh, it was a good show but definitely didn’t live up to the promise of the first few episodes.

12.Uta no Prince-sama Legend Star:  For me, this and Magikyun are basically tied, because, although I have more love for Utapri due to how long it’s been around and how I’ve grown so endeared to the characters, I can’t say Magikyun did anything worse or better. But anyway Utapri! Revolutions had me losing a little of my love for the franchise, but Legend Star was really great! The music improved drastically and we got some truly neat character arcs. The Otoya arc was surprisingly good. It’s sad to see they’ve fully committed to shitty CG dancing though ): But oh well, the Quartet Night song was great and there’s even more anime coming because Broccoli does like printing money after all. Almost forgot to mention it, but Haruka is hardly relevant this season and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but I’ll also say I didn’t particularly miss her.

11.Magic-Kyun Renaissance:  I’ll say this about Magikyun, it was less dumb than I expected given the title. I mean it was super dumb, but it could’ve been dumber. It was also a lot of fun, had neat visuals and surprisingly good songs? I feel it could’ve ended in episode 9 because it doesn’t feel like the new resolution in ep 13 actually added anything of note to the story or the characters, but it was okay. It’s harmless dumb entertainment and that’s what I wanted it to be. 

The good

10.Flip Flappers:  It’s always great to see passion projects like this, even if they don’t always stick the landing. In the gayest anime season, FliFla gave us a lesbian visual spectacle that was among the best animated experiences of the year. While narratively it blooped a little in the last third and became a weird Eva-ish nightmare, it sorta kinda worked out at the end, although definitely didn’t live up to its initial dreamy potential. And it was very lesbian, although I feel it was lowkey creepy lesbian since Papika is somehow an adult??? I think they explained some things too much and left others glaringly unexplained. Some weird things happened in that production that hindered its potential, but it’s still a fascinating series to look at, even if you don’t dig the character dynamics (which are adorable but in the end didn’t do much for me). Could’ve done with 100% less creepy robot though     

9.Classicaloid: I’d call Classicaloid the Bungo Stray Dogs (season 1) of the Fall because while it wasn’t what I wanted or expected, it managed to grow on me. I was on the edge of dropping it because the wacky one-note humor wasn’t working for me at all, but with the introduction of Schubert and the slow drip of answers to our questions of what is even happening in this show, it became notoriously more fun. Definitely the strongest moments of the show are when we get to see the Classicaloids having flash backs to their past lives (the episode about Beethoven and his loss of hearing was particularly brilliant) and while I still mostly have no idea of where this is going at all, they’ve definitely got me hooked wanting to know what Bach is even planning.

8.Drifters: This might have gone even higher up the ranks if not for all the homophobic and sexist jokes ugh. But I guess it’s a testament to how entertaining it is that I watched it all through and would still watch the upcoming second season (or maybe it’s a testament to what a good job it did in tickling my very specific rekijo bone). The characterization of Nobunaga in particular is absolutely brilliant, and the little nuances in the interactions between characters of different time periods are fantastic. Cool action sequences and interesting strategizing and politicking. But I reckon this isn’t something that’s gonna sway the non-history buffs. Also ew the sexist and homophobic jokes. The show has great comedy without that, please don’t be so gross Hirano.

Originally posted by ichise

7.ALL OUT!!: It had a bit of a slow start, but once it started picking up with the practice matches and developing the team, it’s just gotten exponentially better! Especially since the addition of the coach. DAYS could learn a thing or two about how it isn’t necessary to make the inexperienced main character the sudden “hero” of the team to make for a compelling sports story. That said I still do not understand about 75% of how rugby works at all, but the endearing cast and the passionate games make up for it. Also the horrible hair. Definitely looking forward to where these kids will go in the second half.

Originally posted by rouge-cerise

The excellent

6.Fune wo Amu: This is a case of me one-sidedly having expectations that a show can’t live up to and thus I don’t enjoy it as much as I could. Which is no fault of the show itself and it is in fact one of the best anime of the season (arguably the year). It does fail on the entertainment department, but compensates with beautiful craftsmanship and a wonderful portrayal of human feelings and relationships. While it wounded up being Very Heterosexual (and the main couple develops in a rather cold and questionable manner, but hey, the wife wasn’t forced to give up her dreams to become a housewife. A+ for progress! ) the portrayal of Majime’s camaraderie with Nishioka (and Nishioka’s very great relationship with his gf!) was really the heart of the show, and just for that it’s absolutely worth the watch.

5.Natsume Yuujinchou Go: I think it’s rather telling to the quality of the season overall that Natsume Yuujinchou somehow fell just slightly above the middle of the pack. I do feel this season of Natsume was weaker than the previous ones, but to be honest I can’t quite pinpoint why. Maybe it didn’t feel like we reached a new milestone in Natsume’s development or in learning about Reiko –in fact, it feels we learned conspicuously little about Reiko this season-, although the final episode and the Touko episode were notable highlights. With a sixth season already in the works, I have little else to say other than, even when it’s not in top form, this is still among the best one could ever hope to get from anime

4.Bungo Stray Dogs 2: Remember how season 1 was good but not what I wanted it to be? Well, season 2 wasn’t exactly what I’d originally hope BSD would be about but it sure as fuck was fantastic! Starting with the flashback episodes to Dazai’s time in the Port Mafia and the story of Oda Sakunosuke, to the introduction of the American writers and the follow-up with Kyouka and Atsushi’s arcs as well as Akutagawa (!!!!) it was a genuinely amazing season that completely justifies watching the first one even if you weren’t entirely convinced about it at first. My only gripe is the lack of Kunikida, but this season showed that Dazai is the lynchpin of this series and he fulfills that role to perfection. I loved loved loved this season and I hope we get more of this series.

3.Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable: While it floundered a little in the second cour (seriously I was happy Shigechi died, he was an awful character), it picked itself right back up in the third and the battle against Kira –who is an astonishingly amazing villain- was just week after week of blood-pumping excitement and fun. Not every episode was perfect, but the package as a whole is fantastic. At moments it felt more like Kishibe Rohan’s Bizarre Adventure, but even that was okay because every member of the cast was so great. You can see the passion David Production has for this franchise, and I’m hoping they’ll continue adapting it. While Joseph is still Best JoJo, I think part 4, with its incredibly strong cast and creative set up might be my favorite arc so far.

2.Haikyuu 3: vicky’s probably gonna hate me for this but If I’m honest, the Shiratorizawa match wasn’t my favorite in the manga. I love the development Tsukki got through it and I commend Furudate for how brilliantly he’s been working in making these characters grow in such satisfying ways. But Shiratorizawa, and Ushijima specially, is the epitome of OP rival and that’s something that’s never really worked for me. It felt like the Rakuzan game in Kurobas, there were moments in which it felt that it just never ended. And I was worried about how they were going to work it into ten episodes. I think it’s a testament to the anime team that they managed to make it not actually feel like 10 episodes, and that they’ve made this one of the most exciting matches to watch in all of Haikyuu. It was truly spectacular and I can’t wait for S4


1.Yuri!!! on ICE: Joke’s on you, this was a Yuri on Ice post all along!! Even if my conflicted feelings about the ending had been sourer and heavier, I would have no doubt that this is the best show of the season (and the year). It’s taken me a while, but after having chewed on my feelings for a couple of days (while fighting the denialists with all my might) I’m even more confident about it. I don’t even know what more praise I can rain on this beautiful, beautiful show that has literally saved me so many times during this really difficult trimester and I am ever so grateful to its creators for giving us such a beautiful gift in such dark times. Now please end our suffering and confirm a season 2, because just like Victor and Yuuri can’t live without each other (canon!) I can’t live without them anymore ;—;

What a strong season this was! A high note to end an otherwise shitty year! Thanks everyone for following this nonsense blog and I hope this new year brings us all more beautiful anime (and less menstrual cramps for me). Winter shows I’m watching premiere literally today so I’ll skip the “anticipation” rundown and go straight to my watchlist in a couple of weeks.  As always, I’ll be happy to hear which were your favorite and least favorite shows of the season, but I know y’all never answer to my questions ;—-;

BoJack Horseman and the Art of Self-Hating Confidence

I mean, I could really write a synopsis of every single episode of the show and this title would still apply, huh? But this one is about his attitude towards Horsin’ Around and in particular the way that defines season 3. I got the idea for this meta because I follow BoJack on Twitter and earlier today he tweeted this:

This is actually like the fourth time he’s tweeted something similar, and it was a major theme in season 3. (To be clear, yes, I’m well aware that BoJack is fictional, but my understanding is that this account is run by someone connected to the show, which makes it a semi-canon source imo.) Throughout season 3, BoJack was asked repeatedly to slander the show that made him famous to bolster credibility for his Oscar bid. Repeatedly he refused, for reasons that utterly baffle everyone around him. I mean, why shouldn’t it? Is John Stamos out there calling Full House the best thing he ever did? (Seriously, though, is he? If he is, I’d love to know.)

To briefly summarize BoJack’s character, he’s chronically depressed in a way I personally relate to. Princess Carolyn’s line about “I could tell you one bad thing and ten nice things and you would only remember the one bad thing” really struck me, especially because she’s right; when she starts trying, BoJack immediately starts listing off reasons why what she’s saying doesn’t apply to him. He does this with his acting too: “that wasn’t really me”. This is called Imposter Syndrome and is a common enough response to success when you’re depressed and anxious; it’s your brain’s way of rationalizing success when it has defined itself by failure. BoJack knows he’s miserable; he knows he’s tried and failed to overcome that in the past; he knows he wants to be happy but doesn’t know how; he knows he doesn’t know who he is when he’s happy. He thinks happiness means stupidity, the only way he can rationalize why Mr. Peanutbutter is happy and he isn’t. As the creator himself says:

Now, what does any of that have to do with Horsin’ Around? Because it’s like Kelsey said in season 2; BoJack stopped maturing when the show got big. He has defined his entire life by that show, and without it, what is he? He may be tired of being that horse from Horsin’ Around but who else is he? He doesn’t know. And he does owe a lot to the show for getting him famous, for giving him the house he lives in and enough disposable income to just stop working. And that’s the other thing– the end of the show affected him so much that he simply refused to do anything after that for years. Even in 2007 he was telling PC that he was still “recovering”.

There’s also something of the “sunk costs fallacy” in there, I think, which is where you spend more time/money/energy than a project is worth because you think, well, I’ve already put this much time/money/energy into it, I might as well keep going, even to the point where it’s cost more than it’s worth. Because of the show, BoJack lost Herb’s friendship and never got his forgiveness. Brad and Sarah Lynn’s lives were ruined post-showbiz, and Sarah Lynn in particular had it terribly hard (to put it mildly). The obsession in part ruined his relationship with Princess Carolyn, irreparably. I think he believes the show has to have been worth it, because it really fucked things up for him, and if the show wasn’t any good, then he wasted all that time, all those friendships, for nothing at all.

And while I don’t remember where in the show it was said or by whom but there is a line about how Horsin’ Around was great because of all the joy it brought and that, I think, is fundamentally what attracts BoJack to those memories. People loved him; people loved the work he did; it made people happy in a way he has never been able to do in his personal life. To know that you, a miserable person, have made someone happy is the most precious thing in the world when you’re depressed because it reminds you that you can do something that matters. That was a feeling that disappeared in the years after the show was canceled and only emerged again at the close of season 1. I wrote a long meta about BoJack’s simple “huh” but the line before that is “you’re my hero”. That’s how the season ends, that’s the little touch of hopefulness– that once again, BoJack is doing something that matters to someone.

Of course, the memories are bad too. As I said in the “sunk costs” paragraph above, the show caused him a lot of personal anguish and ruined several lives, including possibly his. It defines him in a way that he’s accustomed to, but it still chafes, and while I firmly believe that even if he could go back, he would do it all again (and I’m not saying he should, but he would), I imagine he dreams about who he might have been without the show’s shadow sticking to him. Nostalgia aches, and it’s all he’s lived with for years. He knows it wasn’t “really acting” and is somewhat bitter that his notoriety came from something so “fake”. And, again, he made bad decisions and lost Herb, the person who understood him most in the world until Diane (who recognizes how similar they are and actively distances herself from him because of that).

Anyway, this is a long, roundabout way of saying that Horsin’ Around was both the best and worst thing that ever happened to BoJack and while it didn’t cause his depression, it exacerbated it and became the focal point of it later in his life. With everything getting dragged up in s3, he’s been forced to deal vocally with these conflicting feelings and particularly the fierce sense of pride he has towards something that brought joy and normalcy to people in a way he could understand and respect. Like everything else he has a lot of messed up and contradictory thoughts about the show, but I think it’s probably the most obvious and easily understood example of the way his mental health has suffered from being a performer. 

mikantrapper  asked:

For the prompts things, would you consider doing a Kanadia Flower Shop AU ; a ; I think it'd be really cute. Thank you in advance! ~

Sorry this has taken so long! I hope this is everything you’re hoping it might be, i’ve been thinking a lot about this since I saw it in my inbox ;u;.

I’m also doubling this as a birthday present for my fav!! Happy late birthday Dia ily ;o;!!

KanaDia flower shop au! here we go!

(Note: all italicized words said by Mari are said in English)

Keep reading

based on this request (x) // warning: swearing 

You opened up your geography book. All you had in mind was how nice it would be to take a nap right now. You’ve been up all night since your best friend Nick kept you from sleeping. He watched the season finale of The Walking Dead and his favorite character died in the last scene, so he seemed to think he could keep you awake all night to tell you what kind of bullshit the finale was. Something like that was more likely typical of you but now you know how annoying it is. 

And now, you had your least favorite class, so it would be the perfect time to take a nap if you wouldn’t sit in the front row right in front of the teacher. Your teacher called out the pairings for the next bigger project you would be doing. Secretly you hoped to work with Nick but you knew that your teacher wouldn’t let that happen. He already sat you on different seats, far away from each other, so you stopped talking during the lessons. “I decided to make things easier, you work together with the person who’s sitting right next to you” your teacher announced insanely proud as if he had the idea of the year. 

You glanced at your partner Alex. At least you had somebody nice. Alex was a football player but he was probably the nicest that ever existed in your school. “So, seems like we’re going to work together” Alex smiled at you. You smiled back at him and nodded. 

While you had no problem to work with Alex, Nick eyed you two like he was ready to kill Alex on the spot. Even if this was just a science project. The guy right next to his best friend was a god damn football player and you two would probably work together after school at home. Nick didn’t even want to imagine what could happen. The idea of Alex and you together made him wanna puke. Not because he didn’t allow you but because you two looked the perfect couple. Alex was the perfect guy for you; tall, popular, polite and protective. And you looked the perfect girl for him; natural, nice, helpful and extremely good-looking. This wouldn’t end good. 

Day 1: Alex and you met to talk about your project. Everything worked perfectly out and you two were glad to get it done as fast as you could. Yet Nick didn’t reply to all of your texts the whole day. Maybe he was busy, you thought to not bring yourself down. 

Day 2: Normally Nick was always earlier at school and came to your car as soon as you parked because you got the morning coffee for both of you. This morning Alex came instead to tell you he wouldn’t made it to your meeting today because he had an important football training. You told him it was alright and ended up giving him the other coffee since Nick never came. In the afternoon you called him at least five times but every time the mailbox answered. 

Day 3: Alex and you worked on your project at his house. His dad invited you to stay for dinner since he wanted to grill. You texted Nick if he wanted to meet up. If he only had answer, you had deny the invitation but in the end you stayed there and had a good time with Alex’s family. 

Day 4: Nick didn’t came in the morning to your car and you shared your coffee with Alex again. You cancelled your meeting with him since you wanted to know what was up with Nick and drove to his house, only to get told by his mother that he wasn’t at home, even though in his room was the light on and his car was standing in the driveway. 

Day 5: Nick was ignoring you the whole day, even when you tried to talk with him during P.E. You drove Alex home and picked him up later to drive through the city and take photos at the best places for your project. 

Day 6: Today you brought the second coffee especially for Alex and not Nick. He invited you to the next football game and you happily thanked him for the invitation. You met Nick at your lockers today during lunch and eyed him for a second. He didn’t waste one glance at you. Suddenly you felt like you should stop caring about this bullshit if he was acting like that. 

Day 7: Your mom firstly asked you about Nick and why he hasn’t been in your house for a while now. You told her that he was busy. With a accepting nod, she told you how much she liked Alex and that he would make a great boyfriend. You smiled at little and your heart hurt. You missed your best friend. 

Day 8: You went to the football game Alex invited you to and cheered for him. It made you feel better than you felt yesterday. 

Day 9: You couldn’t focus during your projects and apologized more than thirty times to Alex. He said everybody has a bad day here and there before he left you alone, so you could get some rest. All you did was looking at old photos of Nick and you. 

Day 10: You had enough. If he really needs to ignore you then you at least deserve a good reason for that. You drove to earlier to school to catch him. You hide a bit away from his usual parking spot and walked fast to it as soon as he parked his car. Nick rolled his eyes as he saw you but you didn’t care. You grabbed him by the wrists to stop him from walking away. 

“Are you fucking serious right now?” you almost yelled at him and tighten your grip. “Why are you ignoring me?” 

Nick glanced firstly at your hand around his wrists and then at you. “Could you please let go of me?” he asked annoyed. 

“No” you exclaimed. “Because you will only walked away again like you did the whole last week. What is wrong with you? Have I done something wrong to you or why are you acting like an asshole?” 

You didn’t meant to call him an asshole but you were more than angry at him. You two were best friends since a life time and now, suddenly he was ignoring you. “Answer me” you begged him angrier as wanted. 

“Why don’t you just go back to your boyfriend and stop annoying me!?” he asked you. 

You frowned. “What are you talking about?” 

Nick freed his hand out of yours before he turned around and walked away. “Go back to Alex, Y/N” 

You sighed and ran in front of him to stop him with your whole body. “Please Nick, stop walking away from me and talk to me. You’re my best friend, remember?” your voice broke. 

Nick glanced at you as you continued talking. “Are you acting so weird because Alex and I are working at the geography project together?” 

Nick didn’t answer but you knew it was the reason why. “There’s nothing you have to be jealous-” Nick cut you off. “I’m not jealous!” 

“Of course” you replied. “Seriously Nick, there’s nothing you have to be jealous at. Alex and I are just friends and he knows exactly that I’m not interested in him. Actually he told me that he was kind of terrified to still work with me because you’ve been looking at him like you want to kill him” 

A laugh escaped your lips. “I’m not dating him and I don’t want to date him” 

“And why do hang out with him so often?” Nick asked quietly. 

You smiled. “Because you stopped hanging out with me. He was just being polite”

Nick stay silent but you grabbed both of his hands into yours. “Back to normal?” you asked him. 

A smile grew on his face. “Back to normal, I promise” With that you leaned forward and hugged him tight. 

Brown eyes

Summary: “brown eyes are just brown eyes until you love someone with brown eyes”

His eyes are brown.  

They are the first thing you see when you look up from your notebook. “I’m sorry, can I sit here or is this taken?” he asks politely, and it takes you a few blinks to get yourself back to earth.

“Of course,” you tell him, “I’m just studying.” You don’t know why you tell him that. It’s not like he cares; and besides, you’re in a library, surrounded by biology books. He probably had a pretty good guess.

He hums a thanks and sits opposite you, wasting no time before getting lost in his book. You can’t see what it’s about, but you find yourself staring at the boy, watching him absentmindedly bite his lip.

You try to focus on your work again, but it’s not going very well. It could have something to do with the fact that you’ve basically been living in the library for the past two weeks, and you can’t even remember how long it’s been since you took your seat that morning.

“I’m going to light everything on fire,” you whisper, more to yourself than to the boy, but he looks up anyway, one eyebrow raised.

“I mean, I would thank you for the head’s up, but I’d rather you not do that,” he says, pointedly holding up his book. “I really wanna finish this. I’ve been trying to finish it for days, but my friends keep harassing me.”

You smile at him weakly. “Maybe I’ll settle for lighting myself on fire so you can read your book in peace.”

“How long have you been here?” he asks, and you shrug.

“I don’t know, what time did the sun come up?”

He laughs. “You know it’s nearly 9 pm, don’t you?”

“Well, my biology isn’t going to study itself, and I really have to pass this exam,” you sigh. “But you’re right, I hadn’t noticed it had gotten to that time. I should probably get some dinner, that will postpone my arson for a while.”

You start getting up and gathering your things, when he speaks again. “I haven’t had dinner yet either.” He’s already standing, his hands shoved in the pockets of his black skinny jeans. “Do you want to grab something together? You can tell me all about your biology.”

“I’d rather tell you about anything else,” you say. The thought of having dinner with this boy you’ve never seen before wouldn’t have excited you had your brain not been this fried, since you were never one for spontaneity, but today, you can’t think of any excuse to stop studying you would not grab.

He chuckles. “Deal. I’m Calum, by the way.”

You smile. “Y/N.”

The liquor is brown. He describes it as golden.

You don’t know why you said yes to Calum when he offered to celebrate the end of your exams with you. It’s not that you didn’t want to celebrate, but this wasn’t usually your way of celebrating anything.

You’d had lunch and dinner with him a few times, his company and some food being the only study break you allowed yourself. And you had liked hanging out with him a lot. So much so, that when he told you that he wanted to take you clubbing after your last exam, you hadn’t even protested it.

But now you wonder why you thought this was a good idea. The floor seems to be swirling under your feet and you cling to the barstool you’re sitting on.

You hadn’t liked the drink the first few sips; to be fair, when Calum asked you what you wanted to drink and you’d said “whatever you’re having”, his raised eyebrows and curled lips should’ve given you a hint that this wasn’t going to work out well for you. But now, after a few of them, it doesn’t taste nearly so bad.

You blink a few times and return your attention to the boy next to you, who’s telling you a story you’re not listening to. You probably should, cause his stories are usually very entertaining, but you’re not a very good drunk.

You’re the kind of drunk that would rather study his features, the curve of his lips, the edge of his jaw, the flutter of his eyelashes. He’s beautiful.

“You didn’t hear a word I said.” It’s a statement rather than a question and the amusement is clear on his face.

“Sorry,” you mumble, putting down the glass with liquor. “I was just…”

“Staring at me?” he interrupts, a twinkle in his eyes as he tips the rest of his drink back.

“Wondering what it would be like to kiss you.” As soon as the words leave your lips you feel your cheeks heat up, and you wish a giant hole would appear in the floor the swallow you. You will never drink anything alcoholic ever again.

“Well,” he says, his voice deep and raspy, and suddenly he’s right in front of you, “we can’t leave you wondering, can we?”

And then his lips are on yours and the world is spinning but you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol in your stomach or the taste of liquor on his lips. The kiss is all teeth and tongue and it’s messy but you know in that moment that you’ll never want to kiss anyone else.

The leaves are brown. He describes them as tawny.

“You forgot to mention that you were planning to hike a fucking mountain,” you pant, kicking some leaves around with your feet. Calum giggles and reaches out, taking your hand in his to help you over a rock.

“It’s not a mountain. It’s barely a hill.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

dad, i've had a long day. so seein the box open made my day!! could u make it even better with Iwaizumi comforting his s/o with some fluff and love pls 😞 i love you both!

Ahh, I’m glad it made your day, and I hope today was good too! I see Iwaizumi as the “tough love, but puts everyone else before them” type so that’s kind of what I was going for here. I hope you like it! - Admin Dad

Business trips were rough—especially ones all the way down in Kyushu. Sure the team talked about going out, maybe hitting up the tourists sites since the season was dwindling to an end, but 14 hour days of back-to-back meetings killed those dreams pretty quickly. 

Iwaizumi slumped off his fourth train of the day, luckily the last local so he didn’t have to call a cab. The company didn’t want to waste too many business hours so his mad dash back to Sendai had him bouncing between shinkansen and airplanes more than he ever cared to do. But he couldn’t wait to go home, collapse in bed beside you, and just be still for a few hours. 

So when he walked into the living room to find you flying off the couch wiping away obvious tears, his heart stopped. 

“What, what’s wrong?”

“Hajime,” you smiled, both surprised and embarrassed, “What are you doing home so early? I didn’t think you’d be back ‘til way past midnight.”

He ignored the question, closing the distance between you with broad steps. He placed his hands on your shoulders. “You were just crying, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, really,” You waved him off, wiggling out of his grip. “You’ve had a long day too, you don’t want to listen to me complain—“

“Don’t tell me what I want or don’t want.” His voice was stern. You worried for a minute that you’d accidentally stepped on a land mine.

But then Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in against his chest. He pressed his lips to your forehead. “I don’t like seeing you cry.”

You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, the tears welling up again. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“Hey now,” Iwaizumi grumbled, pulling back just enough to look at you. “Stop apologizing for your feelings, okay?”

You nodded and he leaned in to give you a chaste, yet lingering kiss. “Now I take it you’re not going to tell me what happened just yet, right?”

You nodded again, biting your bottom lip. 

Iwaizumi sighed. “Well that’s okay. Have you eaten?”

“A little—but you just got home, you’re probably starving!”

“Oi,” Iwaizumi raised a brow, the beginning of a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips, “I wasn’t talking about me, I was asking if you ate.”

You pushed back defiantly. “And I want to know if you’re hungry, when’s the last time YOU ate today?”

Iwaizumi let out a sigh that turned into a chuckle at the end. You two had done this dance more than a handful of times. “Okay, okay. How about you start to fix up something for me and I’ll draw you a bath. I’ll come get you when it’s done and take over in here. Compromise?”

You held out your hand for a shake. “Compromise.” 

It felt like not even five minutes after Iwaizumi left to start the bath he was already back at your side. 

“Bath is ready, get out.”

“Yeah, but the food isn’t,” you gestured at the empty pot on the stove and the half-circle of ingredients around you. 

Iwaizumi grabbed your arms and pulled you out of the kitchen. “A deal is a deal, in the bath you go.”

He shoved you into the bathroom and slid the door shut behind you. “I’ll go down and finish the food, you get in and relax.”

Before you could yell back, you heard him take off down the hall. You looked over to see the tub still running, the steam carrying with it the scent of your favorite bath salts.

You shook your head in defeat and started undressing. Iwaizumi was always like this, putting you before himself. You wanted to kick yourself for letting him find you in that state, crying because of a rough day at work after he’d traveled over 1,000 kilometers just to get home. 

You had to admit though, once you shut off the water and sank into the tub you felt a little better. Maybe it was the heat from the bath soothing your muscles or the steam making you lightheaded, but you felt yourself melting away. 

Until two strong, familiar hands settled on the base of your neck making you jump in surprise.

“Shh, calm down it’s me,” Iwaizumi mumbled. “I thought you could use a shoulder massage since you hunch over a lot when you’re stressed.”

“Did you—“

“Yes, I ate.” You could practically hear him rolling his eyes. “You’ve been in here a bit longer than you think.”

“Have I?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“No way!” You started to stand up, but Iwaizumi wouldn’t let you. 

“Hajime, it’s been long enough—“

He turned your head to meet you in a kiss. You mentally blamed the bath for how your head spun. 

“I know you don’t like to talk about these things,” Iwaizumi started, stroking your cheek, “So I’m not going to make you. But I took two earlier trains and changed my flight to see my favorite person sooner today, so I’m going to do everything I can to see them the way I want to: happy and relaxed. Understood?”

You nodded, fighting the tears welling up for a different reason this time. 

“Now, do you want a shoulder rub or not?”

“Only if you tell me about your day at the same time. As a distraction.”

Iwaizumi laughed, the sound bounced off the tile walls. “Sure thing.” He leaned forward again and kissed the back of your neck. “I love you, you big dork.”

You reached up to squeeze his hand and smiled. “I love you too.”

I need to talk about Yuuri's "last time on the ice"

(or so he thought)

I believe this is so important since it’s the part all of us had been looking forward to the most.
(or at least before we realised gala was going to be a thing.)

Victor has been known for making every programme feel like a new beginning, but what Yuuri is going to do here is the opposite, this programme was meant to be his ending.

(Their faces before entering the rink, you can already sense a lot of feels coming up.)

There were so many different emotions in this part, from sad sobs after realising that everything was coming to an end, to happy tears after realising that the goal has been achieved.

I have always loved this programme, but this time it got even better.

We all knew that this one was going to be perfect, that all his jumps would be flawless, but the feelings it gave, oh my God.

(Definitely longer than that 3-page English essay I did last week at school, I’m putting this under the cut.)

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Know I Meant To

(AkuAtsu Omegaverse AU)

If Atsushi knew one thing in this world, it would be that there isn’t a single alpha who would keep an incompetent omega. Or maybe it was just him. No alpha would ever want him, it was so obvious. However, he couldn’t stop trying. Literally. 

There was a law. All alphas need to be paired up with omegas during heat and times of great stress. He couldn’t really escape it. Omegas all needed the relief of an alpha, and alphas needed the omegas like a rock to lean on. Neither could get through the season without each other, so there was a law made- mainly to stop rouge alphas from doing something stupid. Every omega must get accepted by an alpha eventually, but until then, they need to report every heat to get forced into a room with an alpha and copulate, hoping they please the alpha enough to be marked. That’s what it was. 

It wasn’t how Atsushi wanted to meet an alpha. He rather start with a meeting at a shop and slowly build a trust and grow to love his alpha. This all felt rushed and scary. Every heat, he found himself just wishing he could have a cute little love story like how his friend Ranpo did with his nervous wreck of an omega. He wanted the same for himself, but knowing that there are alphas like Dazai out there, he knew his chances were slim. Not many alphas his age wanted to settle down. He’d just be dragged through the years, never being picked. He truly believed that.

Atsushi knew why as well. If things were as he wanted them to be, he could have a chance at a love he’d only ever thought was a dream. But, sadly, he was forced to be paired up yet again. Today was the start of his heat. 

He knew the drill: shower, get dressed, report in, go to a room, wait for the assigned alpha. However, today he was tired of everything, skipping his shower and deciding to just report in wearing a wrinkled white shirt and grey pants, a belt loosely tied around his waist as to not waste time later. When he arrived, he was told where to go, that the alpha would be a little late, to make himself at home, etc, etc. 

Shuffling to the hall of rooms, he held his key, the numbers 092 engraved on its face. He quietly made his way to his room, once stopping to help a younger, panicking omega that couldn’t find their room. Watching as she disappeared into her own room, he slid his key into the hole and twisted, opening his door as he did. 

Usually, once he walked in, there’d be a hint of scent from the alpha or little gifts near the door that the alpha had bought to ease the omega. There was nothing here. Just the room as it normally was. A large king sized bed with black pillows and black blankets, a side table with drawers full of things he knew too well. There was also an attached bathroom, a big tub, a sink and toilet in each. Sometimes a shower too. 

Atsushi closed the door behind him and hung up his key, heading to the bed. He wanted to go back to sleep and sleep away the day. In honesty, he hadn’t even felt his heat at all that day. Usually a small burning sensation would be in his lower abdomen. Or an uncomfortable wetness. However, Atsushi felt nothing. Perhaps because he hadn’t caught whiff of an alpha yet…

Flopping onto the bed, Atsushi hummed in content, hugging the pillow close to him as he nuzzled it. It felt soft.. He slowly laid down, wrapping the blankets around him to make a warm cocoon. The alpha would be late, he had time to have a nice little nap….

Atsushi jerked awake as he heard the door slamming shut across the room. He quickly sat up, dropping the pillow as he stared with wide eyes to the person standing at the door, kicking off his shoes. Had he annoyed the alpha already? Just by sleeping? He gulped at the lump in his throat. He knew some alphas could be a bit easy to anger, but he sure hoped this one wasn’t.

Slowly, he raised the blanket to his chest as the alpha looked over, seeming as though he just noticed him, but he said nothing. He had strange black hair with white tips on his bangs. His hair was just as choppy as Atsushi’s, but it was different. He had dark eyes that looked completely black from where he stood and his clothes matched his hair and eyes. A long black coat, black pants peaking out, and standing out was a white cravat. Atsushi didn’t know what it was, the pasty white skin or those black eyes… but the alpha looked rather attractive. A small blush worked onto his cheeks. 

“U-Um, h-hello..”

“Are you naked?” The other asked with a cough, covering his mouth with his hand. Atsushi’s face turned red as he lowered the blanket to show his clothes.

“N-No, why would I-” Atsushi started, but stopped when the alpha began to approach the head. A nice, pleasant scent got caught in his nose and he calmed, feeling warm just by the smell. It was strange, lavender and a musky boyish scent that felt so strong and comforting. He was disgusted in himself as his immediate thought was to embrace the man, snuggle into him and be caressed by his scent. However, he broke from the spell as the alpha began to take off his cravat, “W-What’s your name?”

“Akutagawa.” He set the cravat on the end of the bed. 

“I’m Atsushi,” The silver haired boy replied meekly, moving back until his back hit the bed frame. Akutagawa didn’t seem to care, buttoning his coat before stopping, not removing it. “Um, do you.. want to uh…”

“Not particularly,” He muttered under his breath, not meaning for it to be heard by the other, who picked to ignore it for now. With a sigh, the other looked up, locking eyes with the other, “Strip.”

Now, Atsushi has been with a blunt alpha once, but the way this man was along with the serious way he spoke…. It was strange to him, and he couldn’t help but feel as though he didn’t know what to do. He had been over this, what was different this time? He didn’t know. The other noticed his hesitancy and sat down on the bed next to him, a small frown on his lips, “Is this your first time..?”

Atsushi shook his head, biting his lip softly as he fiddled with his fingers, “N-No, but I just…..”

The other closed his eyes, frowning a bit more now. Slowly, he raised his hand and coughed into his hand again, making it as quiet as he could manage before reassuring him, “Then relax. You’ll be satisfied by the end of the session.”

Though he said it so straight forwardly, Atsushi couldn’t help but stare at him. He shifted as well, looking away from the omega and to the side instead. Could he… Slowly, he pushed away from the bed frame, leaning forward, examining the alpha, “Are you.. do you.. is this your first time..?”

The other turned and glared a little, “None of your business, kitten.”


“Your boxers.” Quickly, Atsushi looked down to see his belt had loosened even more while he was resting, his pants hanging barely to his hips. His light purple and blue cat boxers were showing. He blushed brightly, ashamed to have worn such childish boxers, but the other didn’t say anything else about them. And though he was embarrassed, he unbuckled his belt and kicked his pants off, making the others eyes widen, looking uncomfortable. The younger boy set his clothes on the floor and scratched the back of his neck.

“Sorry, we are going to be uh… this is okay, right?” Atsushi asked, unbuttoning his shirt too, “You can undress too…”

Akutagawa looked away a little, then let out a sigh, shrugging off his coat. The younger boy smiled a little, crossing his legs as he watched. The other then unbuttoned his own shirt, exposing his pale, scarred chest. It was littered with scars, a few bandages, and a small mark that was seemingly a birthmark. He wasn’t muscular, but skinny and a little boney in some places. His ribs were jutting out a little, just obvious enough that they were there, and his wrists, looked so frail, nearly all the joints and bones standing out promptly. Atsushi could say the same for himself, he was rather malnourished as well.

The older male stopped there, awkwardly setting his shirt on the floor besides the others. He stared at the ground before closing his eyes for a while. Atsushi was confused, tilting his head to the other. He was so…. nervous? Usually the alpha would immediately hold him down, not wasting time to get to the point. Then again… were all Alpha’s like this on their first time? Unlikely. In fact, Atsushi thought Akutagawa had lied. All omegas start these sessions when they are 16. All Alphas start at either 14 or 15, sometimes 16. This man was obviously not younger than Atsushi. 

“If you don’t want to, I-I can just get assigned to someone else, it’s fine,” Atsushi said, but the other shook their head. 

Akutagawa tore his gaze from the floor, eyes scanning the younger boys figure. Contemplating, he turned to face the boy, grabbing the scruff of his neck roughly, startling the boy. Not skipping a beat, he pulled the other into a rough kiss, one that immediately made Atsushi melt and the warmth inside him to rage. He wasn’t expecting such force right away from the alpha, but he couldn’t say he didn’t like it. Soon all the uncertainly the alpha exerted before was stolen away. 

It was so heated right away and once they pulled away, their positions had changed as well, though either were completely sure of how it all happened, lost in the moment and drunk off each other scent. Panting softly, they stared into each others eyes. His eyes were grey, not black as he last thought. Atsushi blushed, glancing over to see his wrists pinned by the male and his legs between his own, which bent slightly, brushing against his own teasingly.

Akutagawa leaned down and pecked Atsushi’s lips, trailing down and kissing his jaw, his hand slowly moving and squeezing Atsushi’s neck gently. His cool lips drifted down, biting gently at his neck and collarbone before moving up and kissing his lips again, “Do you need to be prepared?”

“I-I’ll be fine,” Atsushi replied, his voice hoarse and cracking from the others treatment. The other seemed amused by this, letting out a very, very quiet chuckle that almost went unheard by the omega. However, instead of staying on that topic, the omega tugged at the hem of Akutagawa’s jeans. He could already feel his boxers getting wetter by the second, his breath was unable to calm, he felt as though he was literally shaking in anticipation, he needed this. 

The alpha took off his pants, kicking them off quickly before resuming what he was doing before, kissing and biting Atsushi’s hot skin. Arching his back, Atsushi moaned quietly with each nip and lick that landed on his skin. It felt heavenly, especially when his hand dipped and began to slowly stroke him through his boxers.

“A-Ah, A-Akut-” Atsushi panted, gripping the sheets until his knuckles turned white. The alpha seemed pleased, the corners of his pale lips turned upwards slightly. “P-Please..”

“What?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

His face blushed brightly and he squirmed, “Continue.. p-please…”

Akutagawa listened, squeezing the other softly before continuing to jack him, his lips descending back down to the others lips, meeting in a hungry, sloppy kiss. Things progressed quickly, though Atsushi could barely tell. He was out of it, everything felt so good and new and it didn’t seem to take any time for them both to be undressed. The alpha paused momentarily, covering a cough racking in his throat as the other stared up at him with hazed eyes. Atsushi bit his lip a little, leaning up and nuzzling their noses together, “Are you okay, Akutagawa?”

He glared softly, but nodded, pinning the other back down, nipping his neck as he lined himself up, “… Are you.. okay?”

Atsushi smiled softly, “I’m fine.. thank you..”

He hummed in response before pecking his partner and pushing in. Atsushi gasped out, throwing his head back against the pillows as he other continued to push in until he was in all the way. Luckily, as the omega stated before, he didn’t need to be prepared. And also luckily, Akutagawa was up for more rounds and sated the needy omega. After they were both satisfied, they reluctantly laid down and fell asleep in each others arms.

When they woke, they took a bath and got dressed. Atsushi lingered in the bathroom though, examining himself in the mirror. Bite marks and red spots littered his neck and collar bone. It made him feel so warm and… loved.. But he knew not to get his hopes up. Akutagawa didn’t seem the type of alpha to want anything to do with anyone, much less take care of his own omega. Biting his lip, he bowed his head and headed out to find his clothes and get dressed. Everything was relatively easy to find, except his shoes were under the bed for some ungodly reason. Akutagawa stared at him with a raised eyebrow as he dug around for his shoes, fixing his cravat. Slowly, the younger boy got up, struggling on his shoes and then later his belt as the other watched before looking away, “Kitten..”

Atsushi tensed a little and blushed, “U-Uh, yeah?”

“… It seems as though I marked you-”

“O-Oh, don’t worry, i-it’s nothing permanent,” He waved it off, mentally hitting himself. Akutagawa finished dressing, “That wasn’t the problem.”


“I meant to mark you, I’ll do it some other time.” Atsushi’s eyes widened as he gaped at how open the man was, saying something that important. Akutagawa, however, didn’t seem to think much of it, waving the boy off before stepping out into the hallway. The omega followed quickly, practically jogging around the man, “W-Wait do you mean- Does that mean we- Y-You mean it?!" 

It was obvious to see the other was uncomfortable with the other making such loud remarks. But, Akutagawa responded anyway, "Yes..”

Joy slowly filled Atsushi and he beamed, throwing the other into a hug as he tried to continue walking, forcibly nuzzling and pecking the others cheek. His alpha let him do as he pleased, looking away as he sighed, “You should probably know that I am also not the person you were suppose to meet today..”

Atsushi didn’t care, but asked him to explain, “It was meant to be a man named Chuuya, but he told me to do it instead because he had something else to do.”

“But what about you then?”

“Not in the system.” He nodded, quietly grabbing hold of his alpha’s hand. He knew that was possible, though very difficult. But now, it wouldn’t be.. He was free, he didn’t have to do this anymore, he found an alpha that would stay. Sure, it wasn’t the coffee shop romance he dreamed of, but he was fine with that. He still had time, he wasn’t marked for the time being.

“So, I can call you my alpha now, right?” Atsushi questioned hopefully.

“If you want,” Akutagawa replied with a shrug, squeezing his hand as he dropped the keys off wordlessly and headed for the exit. “As long as you know that from now on, you belong to me.”

Shivers ran up the omega’s spine.

Slow Breaths

Summary:  Sorey is a big ball of energy, especially so when new books are on the line. This doesn’t mix so well when Mikleo would prefer a lazy day. But, he knows how to help Sorey wind down, and take the kind of deep, slow breaths that feel like he’s breathing for the first time in days.

Also known as: 4k words of concerted effort to kill you with fluff.

Read on AO3

Mikleo loved Sorey a lot, there was no question about it.  Although, some days, Sorey seemed far too interested in testing his resolve.  When the pounding on his door started, accompanied by calls of “Mikleo, Mikleo, wake up!” the bit of light he could see under his curtain indicated it was just barely dawn.  No matter if he didn’t need to sleep, he enjoyed it.  Almost as much as he did not enjoy being woken up from it at these kinds of hours.  He groaned and rolled onto his stomach so he could bury his face in the pillow and drag the blanket tight across his back.  He knew that luck would not be with him – Sorey was relentless if he wanted him up – but the few more minutes might be worth it.

There came a point, as Mikleo knew it would, when Sorey gave up on knocking and decided to just come in.  He heard the door swing open, and then felt a body hit his bed, bouncing him slightly up off the mattress.

“Good morning,” Sorey said, laying down on the bed so part of his weight rested on Mikleo’s back.  Then he started nuzzling his nose into the nape of his neck.

Mikleo hummed softly, in reply.  Maybe this wasn’t too bad after all.

Then the weight and warmth was gone.  “Come on, it’s time to get up.  You’re wasting daylight staying in bed!”

He sighed.  “I was about to forgive you.”

“I’ll make it up later.  But aren’t you excited?”

It took a moment for Mikleo to remember.  While he thought, turned to face Sorey so he could look at his expression and search it for clues.  He looked bright and excited, which wasn’t much of a clue; that was a normal look.  It did click eventually though.  “Oh, right, didn’t Gramps say he would have two new books for us today if we did our chores well?”


“Hmm, okay.  Why don’t you get a head start and I’ll join you in a little bit.”  His intentions were fully to go back to sleep for at least a few hours.

It seemed that Sorey could see through him, because he frowned, even as he did start to climb off of the bed.  “But what about breakfast?”

“Oh, okay, you’re not here for me.  You’re here for food.”

“Well, I can’t do good work on an empty stomach,” Sorey said, while striking a pose with his hands on his hips.  Then he conceded, “I’m always here for you, though,” and leaned down to kiss Mikleo’s forehead, right in the center where the jewel of his circlet would normally rest.

The two of them had always been affectionate, but these kinds of touches were still relatively new to their relationship, and Lords but it still made Mikleo melt just a bit.  He supposed that now he would have to make a big breakfast in return. “I’ll get started on something once I get dressed.  Now go on, shoo.”

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Fallen Angel

A Frat!Niall Smutty One Shot

“‘A fuckin’ fallen angel, is what you are. On your knees but you damn sure aren’t praying. You’re choking on my cock, instead.’”

Rebloggable Masterlist || More Niall Writing

Requested: “Can you write a frat Niall one shot where Niall is extremely cocky and y/n can’t stand him but he wins her over and gets a blowjob from her and is talking dirty and cocky as she sucks him off?”

(4.0K words)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Delta Gams and Delta Chis were supposed to get along, but you and Niall were never quite the people to follow protocol. He, in your eyes, was a jerk - cocky, conceited, and most definitely not charming. Although the hatred wasn’t reciprocal, Niall didn’t seem to mind that you couldn’t stand him. In fact, he kind of liked it. All he wanted to do was win you over, and you would hate to admit that he did just that.

[A/N]: I really enjoyed writing this one, and I hope this is what you were asking for! Feedback is appreciated and I’d be more than happy to write another one shot if this isn’t what you wanted!! Thanks for reading! Also this is my longest one shot to date, I believe

The beginning of the school year reminded me of one thing; how much I hate the football team. The manager was okay, and the quarterback could be sweet from time to time, but every other player was a real prick.

Cheerleaders are supposed to like the football players, to fall in love with them and one day come back to the college reunion parading around with a giant ring on the cheerleader’s finger, raving about their honeymoon in Ibiza. That, however, was a far cry from my personal experience. 

My main problem was with Niall Horan. Okay, sure, he was hot as hell, but he damn well knew it. He knew how attractive he was and had used it to win over every single girl on my team. He knew all the girls on campus were putty in his hands, and he had dated just about half the school. The only respectable thing about him was that he never talked about it. He might have fucked the majority of the girls from my sorority, but he kept everything quiet. All I know was that the cheerleaders couldn’t get the hell over him so we could talk about something other than his blonde hair and bright smile during halftime.

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This fic takes place before the final episode of Race to the Edge, Season 3. Not as many edits since I’m not feeling as Obsessive Compulsive as I am with my other works. 

It was an ordinary day at Dragon’s Edge, to say the least. But with what they’ve been able to do in the last couple months, ordinary days included patrolling the seas, saving dragons from hunters, and saving each other.

Hiccup was at his forge, looking at his map, looking deep in thought with his brows furrowed and lips curled.

This seems like the best place for them strike next. This was him thinking about the possible location of where he and the gang may encounter the hunters again.

Their mission had been draining them of everything, especially their energy. The riders were thankful, to say the least, that Hiccup had instructed the next day to be a day to rest. They had been reluctant, because they knew what was on the line if they weren’t proactive enough. But none of them could be more relieved at the thought of getting decent rest, whatever that may mean to them.

That day, everyone went about to their own ways of relaxing. Fishlegs was by the island’s beach, reading through his notes from the Dragon Eye while feeding Meatlug some rocks he found at the shore. Heather took Windshear out to the forest, flying, training, bonding, he didn’t know.

Snotlout was, well, asleep. This was something Hiccup didn’t expect he’d do considering he’s been known to be stubborn and hard-headed and always doing something crazy. Well, not as crazy as the twins, who were also, surprisingly, sleeping in as.

Hiccup started hearing footsteps enter the room, but kept calm as he knew whom those steps belonged to. “I thought today was intended for a break?”

Astrid way of relaxing, apparently, involves talking to him. Not taking his eyes off the map, Hiccup replied, “We all have different methods of taking it easy. Mine just happens to be map-reading.”

She gave him one of those faces that meant she was thinking of something. That being he’s planning something stupid again. Of course, he was too busy looking at his map to even notice.

She was already approaching him, intent on acquiring his full attention. “You’re thinking too hard, way too hard, on what you shouldn’t even be thinking about at the moment.”

“I’m a Viking, it’s an occupational hazard.”

“You rarely use that expression. And you used it on me just now.”

“I only use it whenever the times calls for it, milady.”

Astrid rolled her eyes at the statement. She had forgotten when he started calling her that, but she remembers that it was meant to be a joke in the beginning. She didn’t mind it, but that was because he would only call her that when they were both alone.

“Hiccup, let’s go for a walk.” That got his attention.  His brows started unfurrowing but as he looked towards his right, he was startled. Astrid was mere inches away from his face.

When did she get this close to me? They had been close before, but not at this light, at this situation. It was mostly during their missions, when they were trying to survive from all the arrows and rocks being thrown at them.

“You’re quiet. I take it you don’t want to then.” She said this while backing up and making her way to out of the forge.

“W-wait, wait! Hold on.” That didn’t come out right. But it got Astrid to stop and wait for him.

The walk was, well, uneventful at the time being. They had been walking and not talking, the only sounds that they made were from stepping on the foliage of the forest, breaking branches along the way, and the squeak of a metal prosthetic.

“You know…” Her voice made him jump a little, he couldn’t help it since they’ve been silent for too long.

“… Heather told me the craziest thing the other night.” They had stopped walking at that point, reaching a cliff. It was close to sunset and the sky was turning from being its usual blue tones to warm colors similar to fire. Astrid started walking towards the edge as she talked to him.

“She told me how I should live the moment and that life is too short. She went on and on about how I should express my feelings and not wasting any moment to do it.” And that we were perfect for each other.

She looked as if she had more to say, but Hiccup didn’t want to pry on that. Instead he asked, “So, what brought this on, exactly?”

The way she turned seemed too slow, like something was stopping her from doing so.

“I never really knew why she said that. But I thought back, to all the days that I had lived, as far as I could. And that one time…” She looked at him and her right hand went to rest of her left forearm, where she received the infected with the Scourge of Odin.

“… That time I was infected, I couldn’t have been more afraid to die. But at the same time, I had been ready for it. I knew how there wouldn’t be a cure anywhere in the world, I knew how the only cure could never be attained, I was ready to die… And yet, I was terrified.”

Hiccup stood there. He didn’t feel like he should intervene with what Astrid had to say.

“I was terrified of not being able to see my family ever again. I was terrified of leaving Stormfly behind.” Her left arm made its way up to her right forearm, she was embracing herself to keep her up.

“I was terrified of seeing all of the Riders in despair, because of me.” She wasn’t crying, but Hiccup could feel just how much emotion shed been trying to keep from him at that point. He was already inching his way towards her, but she still spoke.

“Most of all, I was terrified of…” A few more steps for him.

“… of not being able to actually tell you.” He stopped. He had made his way in front of her in time for that. His mind was puzzled, tell me what?

He kept his voice soft, to make sure she stayed calm. “Tell me what?”

She was silent. There was suddenly a draft from where they were standing, probably a dragon flying overhead, or taking a landing.

Astrid looked up to see that Hiccup was a hand’s reach away from her now. She let her mind take over this time. “You really don’t get it do you?”

Is this woman for real? “I can’t believe you’re messing with me.”

She did the most unexpected thing he could ever think of. He punched his left shoulder.

“Yow! Why would you do that?! I tried asking politely and you just—” Then she kissed him.

This kiss wasn’t similar with the others. It had a different emotion compared to all those other times when they were younger. Maybe that was it, because now, they were adults. And emotions were a far-higher level now than they were when they were teenagers.

She pulled back. He hadn’t closed his eyed during the kiss, and she placed her head on the crook of his neck. She brought her hands up to clutch on his tunic, she didn’t want to see how he looked like after what she just did. Not just yet.

“That I love you.” Now this, this had his mind racing. He had so many questions. How, when, why, he had his mind on full alert, his breaths were heavy, his heart was pounding. He’d thought that Astrid would be irritated by all those, but she just kept talking.

“I love you. I won’t tell you how, or when, or why. But I love you. I decided to say all this because I’m tired of waking up every morning thinking that I’d die. Which is what I never thought would happen. I always thought that’ I’d die a warrior’s death, during battle, and people would sing me songs up until I made it to Valhalla. But after realizing how I really feel, I just… I couldn’t let this stand on its own.”

Hiccup was still taking deep breaths, trying to make sense of everything he was hearing.

“After realizing how I actually felt, I started wanting to wear a wedding dress, have children, a family… but not unless it was with you.”

It was quiet. The sun was setting and they were both drenched in its colors. It was beautiful, and it motivated Hiccup.

Hiccup placed a hand on Astrid’s hips and brought the other to her cheek, urging her to look up at him. She was already crying in the middle of her confession. He looked at her and told her exactly what he was thinking of: “I love you too.”

She smiled, but the tears wouldn’t stop. They stayed like that for a while, looking at each other’s eyes.

“Uhh. I don’t really know what I should do next and well—”

She laughed at this; it was so Hiccup-like. But she couldn’t care less.

She pulled on his tunic, and told him, “Just shut up and kiss me.” And they kissed again. This time, he kissed her back, intending to give her as much emotion as she did with him in all those times before.

The kiss did not escalate to anything more intimate, but it was all it took to confirm everything that they had both been keeping from each other all these years. They broke away from each other at just the right time, the sun had already set.

Astrid spoke first. “We better head back to The Edge now.”

“That won’t be necessary.” The voice came from behind, but the couple weren’t about to attack, they knew that voice.

“Took you long enough.” Heather had been standing there with the rest of the riders. Everyone seemed to be having confused expressions on their faces.

“You guys were gone for too long so we went to look for you and we see you doing this. You guys are just weird.” Snotlout said.

Fishlegs looked like he was carrying a house on his back. “I brought some firewood and some yak meat to roast. We could eat here, seeing that we’re still on break.”

“Let’s get everything started then.” Heather urged the rest to follow her, leaving Hiccup and Astrid to each other.

Astrid spoke. “You can stop embracing me now.”

Hiccup hadn’t realized it until she said that. He was still holding her, and this was all throughout their conversation with the other riders.

“You sure?” He slipped his hand off her cheek and brought it to her waist, enveloping her in a full embrace. “Because I could get used to this.”

A smug smile came on Astrid’s lips, she wrapped her arms around his neck to mirror his intentions.

“Good. Because we’re going to be much closer now, you and me.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, milady.”

Slowly, they inched into each other for another kiss, only to be called out by their friends.



Hiccup groaned at this, but Astrid just shook her head, smiling. She slid her hands off and went out of Hiccup’s embrace, walking towards the bonfire.

She stopped halfway and turned to face him. “So, are you eating? Or am I going to have to fight the twins for your share of the yak meat?”

He chuckled, closing his eyes and scratching the back of his head. Yeah, I love you. So much.

He started walking towards her, and she was starting to walk towards their friends.

Hiccup was increasing his pace, only to catch up to Astrid and slip his left hand into her right hand. He held it tight, not intent on letting her go.

anonymous asked:

I don't think pearlmethyst will be endgame, but I DO think that then fixing their relationship and being friends again will be something at the end.

That’s the bare minimum of what I think will happen, most definitely! The show has a bunch of loose ends that will most likely be resolved at the end, and Pearl and Amethyst’s broken friendship is definitely an important one that I look forward to seeing resolved. The thing is, I feel like there’s still something ‘hidden’ in their relationship. It feels like there’s something deeper that we still don’t know about them and what they used to be for each other. Something that caused that massive difference between their once-close friendship and this tension-ridden mess it ended up as.

I personally think it’s going to go down one of three ways, from most to least likely:

  • 1: Implicit Pearlmethyst - Over the next few seasons (hoping there will be more seasons), Pearl and Amethyst will work on slowly mending their broken bond, while Pearl comes to terms with Rose’s death. In the finale, there will finally be some implicit dialogue or symbolism hinting at the fact that Pearl is finally able to let Rose’s memory rest and that a new love might be blooming between her and Amethyst (Example: Pearl and Garnet talking serious things after the climax, while Steven and Amethyst are off to the side messing about and celebrating whatever victory the show will hopefully end with. Garnet somehow leads the conversation on to Rose and how Pearl feels about her now, trying to determine how her friend is coping, and Pearl expresses something along the lines of ‘life moves forward, not backwards’ and somehow making it sound hopeful, before looking towards Amethyst, who briefly pauses to smile back at her). I feel like this is the one most in line with the show’s themes of dealing with grief, acknowledging that while the hurt never really goes away, it will dull over time and something new and just as beautiful will eventually appear and make it all worth it.
  • 2: No Pearlmethyst - Option two is that the show will reveal a different relationship between the two and what it once was, most likely a sisterly or mother/daughter-ish relationship, if any. Their relationship will be confirmed to be similar to a blood-relation and any romantic hint will, in that light, look more like a hint towards estranged family members re-learning how to be there for each other. (Example: Amethyst having another breakdown and telling Steven that he’s ‘not the only one who lost a mom that day’ or something similar). While I feel like this would make their current scenes with each other pretty awkward in hindsight, I wouldn’t put it past the writers to ignore storytelling conventionalities in order to approach family relationships from a unique angle. They’ve done it before and they’ve done it to perfection, so it’s not out of the question.
  • 3: Explicit Pearlmethyst - Finally, it could be revealed that Amethyst always liked Pearl and became bitter when Pearl isolated herself after Rose disappeared for reasons explained here. As with the first option, they will continue mending their friendship and Pearl will come to terms with losing Rose, which all has some kind of huge on-screen pay-off in the finale. (Example: a straight-up on-screen victory smooch, just because I want to see conservative parents cry).

As a side-note, in my own private opinion, I think not going anywhere with romantic Pearlmethyst would be a huge waste of potential unless the writers come up with something that fits even better. They’ve already pushed the limit so hard with Ruby and Sapphire’s canonically acknowledged relationship, it would be such a shame if they didn’t at least try to develop a relationship from the ground up between two characters with so many problems. It would be such a massive step forward in terms of LGBT+ folks in media, letting two feminine-presenting characters go through a grand romantic storyline like that.

Moreover, it would help tie up a bunch of other character-related plotlines, such as Pearl’s issues with perfectionism and refusing to see Rose as less than a heroic martyr of love and perfection (I actually have this headcanon that this was part of why Pearl loved Rose so much - she was a defective drone herself, but Rose embodied perfection, so Pearl wanted just a glimmer of that perfection to light up her own imperfect life - but that’s pure speculation on my part). If Pearl could learn to love Amethyst, flaws and all, it could help her make peace with her own faults and learn to love herself wholly, even when she messes up and has moments where she doesn’t feel ‘strong enough to do anything.’ On the flip-side, Amethyst learning to love someone with such high expectations for herself could help her embrace the act of genuinely trying. It could help sooth her jealousy of people she perceives as being better than her and inspire her to keep trying to be a better person, maybe even inspire her to take better care of herself and believe in herself. And in moments where this is just not possible for her, well, Pearl is naturally protective and caring towards all her loved ones. They balance each other out so perfectly and learning to see beauty in each other could fix so many of their personal problems. It would be such a smooth, warm, realistic way to develop them and I really, really hope this is an opportunity the show won’t miss.

Or maybe something even better is coming our way?

Anyhow, that’s my Pearlmethyst ramble for today! So Pearlmethyst-fans, let’s cross our fingers and just kind of … prayer-circle it up in here.

and please don’t ask me to write something like this for Jaspidot ever, I have literally no reason for shipping that mess, Pearlmethyst is my big meaningful ferry dripping with thematic overthinking and emotions, Jaspidot is just the weird little trashboat I refuse to get off no matter how little sense it makes

Brallie In Every Episode

Season 1A
Season 1B
Season 2A
Season 2B

Season 3A

3x01: Callie spots Brandon in the crowd at the Someone’s Little Sister concert / the way he looks at her when she walks up / warms my bitter Brallie heart / “shouldn’t you be at Idyllwild?” / “yeah, I didn’t go today. couldn’t miss the party right?” / Callie looks at him like he’s insane / because he is / they keep looking at and away from each other / but then the worst thing in the world happens / Callie sees AJ / and interrupts Brandon as he’s about to tell her everything about Idyllwild / he’s had such a rough day / and Callie leaves him mid-sentence / that’s literally never happened before / they always put each other first / on the bright side she puts both of her hands on his arm / that’s cute. 

3x02: Another episode with no Brallie to report back on / at this point it’s just depressing.

3x03: Brandon comes into his room / and Callie & AJ are literally having a conversation in there / lol / “what’s going on?” / irritated face / B’s hella suspicious of AJ already / the Brallie stairwell talk / why do i have names for every Brallie scene / i’m so annoying / “you really trust him?” / “well, did you trust me when I first got here?” / “I don’t know but you were a lot prettier” / brANDON FOSTER / that’s not allowed / (but i love it) / “so what you’re saying is I’m not pretty anymore?” / Callie flirts right back / gotta love it / B’s face after she says that is A+ / he’s like ‘girl u know u still got it’. 

3x04: Callie walks in on a very tense AJ and Brandon / “you wanna tell her or should I?” / sometimes I like to pretend this is Brallie as parents / reprimanding their child / “Brandon, let him talk” / “I told you we couldn’t trust him” / “Brandon, hold on. AJ, will you just…” *gestures for him to leave the room* / such a mom / Callie asks Brandon to chill / bad move / never ask anyone to chill / “I didn’t trust anyone until you showed me that I could” / ugh throwback to fetus Brallie / miss those lil angels / “can you please just let this go? if not for AJ, for me.” / and because Brandon hearts Callie / he lets it go / for now / for the rest of the episode AJ is really gross and all over Callie / but at least Brandon gets to see her in the dress at dinner / and of course she’s the only one to pick up that something’s wrong / telepathy!Brallie back at it again.

3x05: a hidden treasure in the midst of Brallie devastation / the episode opens with brallie / a good sign / Callie shakes Brandon awake / he’s so disgruntled / it’s comical / “what are you doing in my room?” / “SH! I need you to come with me” / Brandon closes his eyes again / so Callie hits him aGAIN / married couple / but he gets out of bed for her / la la love it / Brallie on a road trip / Brandon is all concerned about how far they’re going / Callie is completely calm / story of their lives?? / “something illegal?” / Callie’s like: ‘i mean i can’t really deny that completely so’ / “Callie, what is this?” “you’ll see” / so cute / the way Brandon looks at her after he finds out she wants to go hang gliding / he’s like ‘i’m in love with a crazy person’ / cue Callie begging him / “Callie, I thought this was serious, I thought you were in trouble” “so be happy that I’m not!” / “I figured if you knew what we were gonna do then you would probably try to talk me out of it” “oh, I’m definitely talking you out of it” / then she GRABS HIS WRIST / wow / physical contact / gotta love it / “if you could have one super power what would it be?” / “well, I wanna fly” / that line gets me every time ugh / she smiles SO big / “for the first time in my life, I’m free” / sorry for flooding this post with Callie but I’m sO HAPPY FOR HER / “I need this. And you do too!” / “I’m almost 17 and I don’t have any good stories. That’s why I brought you here. I just wanted to do something completely crazy with my best friend” / did you hear that?! / BEST FRIEND / “well, it would make a good story” / she finally got to him / and then my FAVE part / she laughs so adorably / and JUMPS on him while bouncing up and down / ugh / adorable / they learn how to hang glide / and Callie is still so gungho / while Brandon is like ‘what am i doing here’ / “basically if we die it’s our own damn fault” “great!” “except if I die, it’s your damn fault” / i LOVE THEM / B finally tells her about Idyllwild / “right, so she’s an idiot” / she’s always such a proud wife, defending her bb / “now I don’t have to deal with anymore crazy, dramatic women in my life.. Kat, Talya, and…” *looks at Callie* / yIKES HAHAHA / back in San Diego the moms think Callie is pregnant with BRANDON’S BABY / i’m laughing so hard tears are coming out of my eyes / they stiLL ADOPTED HER / i’m so bitter / but this is comical honestly / Brallie both pretends to be fine and then both admit they’re scared hahahah / otp / “together. together/” / oTP / Callie keeps yelling Brandon’s name while they’re in the air / “we’re flying!” / Brandon’s little smile at how happy Callie is / Callie has a bit of a rough landing / and B is by her side in SECONDS / fucks me up / “Callie! Hey! Are you okay?” / Brallie hug!!! / and then B grabs her arms / “you feel like a superhero?” / i love this life / “thank you” / Callie has her hands on his shoulders / and his are at her waist / I was lowkey feeling a kiss here / but it’s fine / “that’s gonna make a really good story” / they’re both cracking up / but then the police catch them / and everything goes to shit / Brandon gives away his keyboard / :( / “you ever get the feeling like the whole world is just conspiring against you?” “yeah, I’m pretty familiar with that concept” / LOL / then they find out they need passports / and even more shit hits the fan / uGH rip their perfect day / both of them yelling at the person knocking on their window is my favorite thing / married / their bickering is next level now / damn / they’re in too deep / Cal brings up the ‘dramatic girls’ line / ouch / B do you need some ice for that burn? / “things were a lot easier before you showed up” / bRANDON WTF / too far / Callie agrees / she literally guffaws / and gets out of the car / “screw you, Brandon” / that’s not for another 4 episodes Callie hold your horses / Brandon chases after her / they legit abandoned their car / i’m ??? / goodbye / “maybe you can just call your new boyfriend to come pick you up, huh?” / Brandon throws some “foster brother” shade / boy don’t judge Callie’s dating habits / “there’s nothing going on between me and AJ” “I’m not blind, Callie” “Actually, I think you are Brandon” / me: “aggressively tries to pretend like this fighting doesn’t hurt” / it’s okay / all married couples argue / they have a little heart to heart after / yAY / “you didn’t mess up my life Callie, I did” / “except today you jumped, brandon. you jumped” / another fave line / another fave episode.

3x06: me trying to get some Brallie out of this episode: callie showers right after brandon / let it be known / that’s some good material for a lot of fanfics / B says “careful what you wish for” to Callie about offering to run errands for the moms hahaha / they show Brandon for a second or two shouting “surprise!” / that’s something, right? / in other news Brandon and Sophia bond and it’s hilarious / also all of the appreciation to Callie’s face when AJ and Brandon fight / she’s like ‘oooOOOoh shit’ / anyways I’m forever salty they didn’t show us what Brandon got for her birthday / such a wasted opportunity.

3x07: Callie talks to Rita about AJ and legitimately says: “this is not Brandon all over again” / bitch u right / bc you’re not in love with him / bYE / omg she even says it “it’s not like I’m in love with him” / i luv my otp / Brallie bathroom scene!!! / but all they talk about is AJ / what a ripoff / and a little bit about Idyllwild / but nothing good / “when I first got here Brandon and I kind of fell for each other” / “that’s why that guy hates my guts” / HAHAHAH / u right AJ u right / “we fell in love but I needed a family, so we ended it. I ended it” / kk Callie I think it was pretty mutual but whatever you say / the look on AJ’s face while hearing this / he’s like ‘what the fuck did I get myself into?’ / “there’s one big difference between me and Brandon; I’m never gonna be your brother” / oKAY AJ don’t rub it in / the social worker shows up in the morning because she has some concerns about Brandon / “I’m wondering why you felt the need to take out a restraining order against your son” / aren’t we all???

3x08: Brandon shows up in the bathroom / but instead of Callie standing there like usual / it’s AJ / B’s like ‘i didn’t sign up for this, where’s Callie?’ / “I don’t need him giving me third degree about Callie, I feel bad enough as it is” / “you are over her, right?” “yes” “you’re sure?” “yes!” / even Mariana can tell he’s lying / “look, I already had my chance to get back with her, I said no” / tbt to 2x12 heartbreak / “well you two better get your stories straight” / she right / “so what if this social worker finds you’ve been seeing Brandon the whole time you were at GU?” / Kiara asking the important questions / “Brandon better not tell her about the last time” / “I kissed Brandon at the GU fundraiser” / “I thought I was giving up Brandon for nothing” / can you hear me crying? / “but he’s told me that he’s over it, so…” / “are you over him?” / “yeah, totally” / fun fact: whenever someone replies ‘totally’ it’s a LIE / “I just wanted to hear from your point of view what transpired between you two” / “my feelings just sort of developed gradually, I guess. And I thought that she and Jude were only going to be with us temporarily” / “I tried my best not to act on anything” / Brandon u a liar / everyone is lying their butts off in this episode wtf / “we never uh-” “but you kissed” / she smiles while saying that / this social worker is a Brallie shipper / B says they kissed once / but actually it was four times / but who’s counting? / (i am) / “and this was before or after you kissed Brandon?” / “after, definitely” / “before” / “and who initiated the kiss?” / “I did” / “It was me, definitely” / lol / lyin lil shits / “so your feelings for Brandon weren’t genuine?” “no, they were” / “would you say you were in love?” / “I guess, yes” / “and now?” / “I love her” / “I love him” / “as a sister” / “as a brother” / suuuuuure / whatever you have to tell yourselves / their answers are ALL OVER THE PLACE / this should have me stressin / but instead I was laughing maliciously / bc this can’t look good to the social worker / the moms swoop in for an update / “what’d she ask?” “she asked me if I was still in love with Callie” “okay, and what did you say?” / Stef really has to ASK / she HAS TO ASK / sorry but / ??? she is so unconfident in his response that she has to ask / lol u sure u wanna adopt Callie Stef? u sure? / “is Callie hooking up with AJ now?” / his face is SO hurt / I just want to give him a hug / when Callie finds out B knows about her and AJ her face is PRICELESS / she knows she’s in for it / and she keeps looking at him when they drop Jude off at home / :) / “we weren’t there for you about Callie, I see now that your heart was broken” / Stef finally / holy lord / it took you nearly 2 and a half seasons / Brandon’s in a car! / about to text Callie!! / outside of GU!!! / it just keeps getting better / “I’m here.  Out front.  I need to talk to you.” / me: *internal screaming because this could turn into a recreation of 1x12 so fast* / Callie sees his car / but her phone is blank / Brandon didn’t pull through / and then he leaves / Callie is puzzled / and so am I.

3x09: ok so update / this show is full of Brallie shippers / Carmen totally wants to tell the social worker about them / just because she ships them / “what do you think will happen if I tell her you and Brandon snuck around, seeing each other the whole time you were here? what about you shoving your tongue down his throat at the fundraiser?” / she ships it / “it’s about falling in love with someone you can never be with” / what the FUCK / I didn’t ask for this / Brandon wants us all dead / “what’s he doing?” “kicking some ass” / if there’s one thing Callie is consistent with / it’s defending her husband / and being a proud wife / “I lost the joy of making music. I’d like to reclaim that now and do what I love most…” (Callie) “…perform” / sorry that joke just had to be made / Callie is smiling and tearing up the ENTIRE time B is playing / I think she knows it’s about her / she feels it / also she’s a proud wife, so regardless / and then the KING OF ALL BRALLIE EYE SEX happens / so good it DESERVES IT’S OWN CAKE / Callie is crying and clapping and smiling / and Brandon is grinning right back / I fucking love them / “you were brilliant” / the cutest ~married couple~ Brallie hug ever / they have a lil chat / but you can’t here what they’re saying / that’s okay because they’re both smiling like adorable lil puppies / Callie sends Rita the recording that spills the Brallie secret / yikes / the way she looks between the family and Brandon / symbolism at it’s finest / Callie covering her mouth after Brandon wins / cutie patootie / Brandon and Callie talk in a windowsill / “your composition was beautiful” “I couldn’t have written it a year ago” / eye sex #2 in the same episode / #blessed / “so we haven’t talked about AJ” “it’s none of my business who you date” / wow / glo up / and yet / Callie feels the need to clarify / “I’m not dating him” / nice / “hey, can I ask you something? did you come to Girls United the other night?” “no” / lies again / Brallie sitting on a couch together! / it looks like Brallie on a bench if you squint a little / and they’re in front of a fire / so romantic / “I don’t care about me, what’s gonna happen to you?” / “it just wasn’t meant to be. none of it I guess, was meant to be” / confession time / “I was outside of Girls United” / eye sex #3!!! / wow / and it only gets better from here / Callie looks at his lips / her trademark move / but B has to be an upstanding gentleman and say “I think we should just say goodnight” / Callie peaces outta there / probably to avoid jumping onto him / Brandon watches her leave / and clearly regrets not kissing her / Callie goes to her room / and Brandon finally makes his way up the stairs / and hesitates so much at the doorknob / but it’s a fake out / not Callie’s room / just his / uGH / now they’re lying in their separate rooms / and they literally cannot stop thinking about each other / and at long last / Brandon shows up at Callie’s door / sits down on the bed / grabs her hand / and KISSES HER / if we can find a way to start the chase again / we might rediscover love when we circle round the bend / fun fact: i thought it was ‘circle round the bed’ for SO long / Brallie sex on the brain / Callie takes off B’s shirt / omg / it’s happening / it’s HAPPENING / Brandon takes off Callie’s shirt / i’m having heart palpitations / so that’s casual / so many neck kisses / and beauty / they fall back onto the bed / in other news my heart has now fallen out of my chest / but my eyes have seen a true masterpiece / there is no poverty / cancer is cured / the world is at peace / fades to black.

3x10: the episode opens up with Brandon running his hand along Callie’s arm / yep you read that right / he RAN HIS FINGERS UP HER ARM / fml / Callie smiles / and Brandon leans in and KISSES HER AWAKE / “I should probably go back to my room” “nooooo” / the way Callie like whines / omg / she doesn’t want him to leave / they kiss AGAIN / double whammy / two within the first minute / hey now / hey now / this is what dreams are made of / “I wish we could stay here forever. and ever and ever.” / :) :) :) :) :) / and then she puts her finger on his lips / omfg / I can’t even describe the perfection / coupley af / they’re lying SO close together / sharing a pillow / their heads are practically touching / their legs are intertwined / “you ok?” “I got you, don’t I?” / HELL yes YOU DO / a beautiful scene / all of the awards / they hold hands at the door / they don’t even look at each other / they just grab each other’s hands / i’m FINE / they walk into the kitchen together / like they’re accepting their imminent death / but ACTUAL plot twist of the century / Callie’s adoption is being recommended / wtf the one time things go right / where is that social worker / I’ve got some choice words for her / thought she was a shipper / but she’s a traitor / the way Callie keeps looking at Brandon while everyone is hugging her / Brandon is pacing back and forth in his room / poor worried lil puppy / Callie comes in / they’re both in meltdown mode / but Brandon, ever the optimist “calm down for a sec, everything’s going to be alright” / Callie is not having it / “what?! how is it gonna be alright? okay, we had SEX” / “I thought the adoption was completely off the table, I would’ve never-” “I know, me neither” / ok easy on the instant regrets my children / don’t go breakin my heart / “so you jump into bed with him the first chance you got?!” / daphne omg / “we were in a cabin the woods, okay it just happened” / ok callie that sounds fake / but ok / “what about Brandon? do you love him? / daphne the shipper strikes again / “I don’t know, I can’t love him now” / Daphne tells Callie to figure out what she wants and then make it happen / so naturally / Callie goes to B’s room in the middle of the night / and the song playing says ‘I’m leaving it for him…” / nice / Callie wakes him up by stroking his face / such a difference from 3x05 / another glo up / and then she strokes his arm / this scene tried to murder me so hard / “what’re you doing?” “I just wanted to see you” / “I should’ve said this at the cabin… I love you” “I love you too” / Callie’s sweet lil smile / she legit lies on top of him / and he puts his arm around her / and rubs her back a little / this is what heaven feels like / “what if I call Robert? Maybe-” / *a door slams* / both of my poor innocent puppies jump in shock / and look towards the hallway / they’re so scared / they don’t deserve this / “you should probably go back to your room” / she leaves and takes all of my hope with her / “family is everything. and love is everything” / cue Brandon looking at Callie / and as soon as he looks away / Callie looks at him / my precious lovesick beans / Mariana sings “look in my heart and let loooooove keep us together” / Callie is staring at Brandon / and then we have some more Brallie eye sex / i love it / and now for the most depressing Brallie talk of all time / they’re in the kitchen / the saddest people ever to exist / watching the party outside while both CRYING / “we could’ve ruined everything” “but we didn’t” / “we didn’t do anything wrong” “you don’t think so?” / nO CALLIE I DON’T THINK SO / “we can’t ever tell anyone” “I know” / again with the ‘I know’ / it’s Brallie’s signature saying at this point / (and yet Callie already told Daphne yikes girl) / “it’s going to be okay, Callie” / B’s cute lil halfhearted smile / “this is your family, that’s all that matters” / the family goes to court to get Callie adopted / and I’m still holding onto all the hope I have left / that SOMETHING will stop this tragedy from happening / “there’s nothing romantic going on with you and Brandon any longer?” “no your honor that’s over” / u lying hoe / Brandon drops his head / in depression / meanwhile I start bawling my eyes out / it’s fine / i’m fine / everyone is fine / Brallie hugs after / and the song playing says ‘it’s never gone’ / so that’s a nice hidden treasure for us / cue the whole family being happy while i cry on my bedroom floor / true story.