searching for certainty

People search for certainty. But there is no certainty. People are terrified—how can you live and not know? It is not odd at all. You only think you know, as a matter of fact. And most of your actions are based on incomplete knowledge and you really don’t know what it is all about, or what the purpose of the world is, or know a great deal of other things. It is possible to live and not know.
—  Richard Feynman, The Pleasure of Finding Things Out
#sexlaughterhonesty masterlist

#sexlaughterhonesty week was a great success this year! As of this morning, submissions are closed, but if you tagged me (or your work) earlier in the week and your piece is not included below, please get in touch with me. Tumblr was not cooperative with tags last week.  

If you think about it, sex can be pretty silly. Pretty silly looking, awkward to engage in, ridiculous to coordinate. If you don’t believe me, randomly pause a porn gif/clip (this is tumblr, I trust your ability to find one. ;) ). 90% of the time you’re going to get some goofy facial expression (if there are faces on screen, lol). Even when scripted, sex is…well, it’s kinda funny.

Still, it can also be wickedly intimate. Two (or more) bodies sharing moments of connection that can mean little or much and not the same thing to every participant. Sex is messy in more ways than one and I think the truth of that gets lost in how sex is portrayed in the media.

#sexlaughterhonesty was organized on the hopes of a better dialogue.To share honestly, to laugh about things, to combat unrealistic stereotypes. To talk about the average and the outliers. To help someone feel just a little less lost. Below you’ll find a variety of multi-fandom fics (and some art, as well as a comic) all focusing on the silly, honest, realistic aspects of sex and intimacy. Many based on actual experiences.

This year we had optional daily themes, and the bulk of the contributions below are organized around them. “Let’s Talk About Sex” which focuses on honest, open communication, fictionalized personal anecdotesCoituis interruptus (hilarius moments of interruption), and Coitus ridiculous (encounters of absolute ridiculousness).

Below a cut for length, because WOW, we had a ton of contributions this year. You want smut? We’ve got your smut.

Keep reading

zodiac association
  • Aries: open mic nights, stealing from your parents, college sweatshirts, figuring it out on the field, rap, acrylic nails, turbulent self esteem, designer knock-offs, family legacies, blood, revenge, and sushi
  • Taurus: home cooking, pretty dresses, company manners, deep tans, bridges, beach days, smoothies, a need to please, rivers, gallery tours, netflix marathons, and sweat
  • Gemini: lacy underwear, wet hair, greasy pizza, disney channel movies, doc martens, existential anger, leggings, taking the greyhound, goal setting, tiny tattoos, stuffed animals, running away, public speaking, sitting on the porch steps
  • Cancer: early morning swims, throaty laughs, tangled hair, smoking in the school bathroom, parties with strange boys, cats, chai tea, collapsing from exhaustion, long phone calls, late night taco runs, small towns, leather boots
  • Leo: last night's makeup, vodka and orange juice, searching for an eternal summer, getting locked out of your house, coffee ice cream, walking barefoot in the city, a need to learn
  • Virgo: hazy afternoons, incense, cut up t-shirts, humidity, dense forests, herbal teas, exploring without a map, berries, hand-holding, purposeful silence, smirks, running without a destination
  • Libra: getting drunk on the roof of your parent's house, silky hair, self consciousness, cuddling, hot chocolate with whipped cream, your older brother's hoodie, artful eyeliner, waking up early after a late night, change for change's sake
  • Scorpio: black leather, angry protests, musty vintage stores, blues, knowing every street in the city, perfect eyebrows, chocolate mousse, falling in and out of lust, cheesy horror movies, laundry detergent, wall collages, hair oil, cheap wine, fireworks, expensive sneakers
  • Sagittarius: beat-up books with notes in the margins, stolen liquor, sleeping out under the stars, cartwheels, photographing everything, coffee shop dates, intricate designs, a search for symbolism, rose windows, ink-stained sheets
  • Capricorn: misplaced affections, messy hair, sleepless nights, neck kisses, confusion, red lipstick, laughing so hard you cry, stage lights, short skirts, crumpled sheets, song lyrics scrawled on bathroom walls
  • Aquarius: searching for certainty, angry guitar music, singing off key, brightly coloured hair, sloppy kisses, textured paintings, coffee with too much milk, sweatpants, romance novels, nose piercings, endless mood swings
  • Pisces: running through the woods, free museum mondays, fresh yoghurt, scrapbooking, glittering eyes, j. crew sweaters, surprise roadtrips, scented candles, a worry for the future
Masterlist 2016

#sexlaughterhonesty week was a great success this year! As of this morning, submissions are closed, but if you tagged me (or your work) earlier in the week and your piece is not included below, please get in touch with me. Tumblr was not cooperative with tags last week.  (I will organize this thematically next week).

If you think about it, sex can be pretty silly. Pretty silly looking, awkward to engage in, ridiculous to coordinate. If you don’t believe me, randomly pause a porn gif/clip (this is tumblr, I trust your ability to find one. ;) ). 90% of the time you’re going to get some goofy facial expression (if there are faces on screen, lol). Even when scripted, sex is…well, it’s kinda funny.

Still, it can also be wickedly intimate. Two (or more) bodies sharing moments of connection that can mean little or much and not the same thing to every participant. Sex is messy in more ways than one and I think the truth of that gets lost in how sex is portrayed in the media.

#sexlaughterhonesty was organized on the hopes of a better dialogue.To share honestly, to laugh about things, to combat unrealistic stereotypes. To talk about the average and the outliers. To help someone feel just a little less lost. Below you’ll find a variety of multi-fandom fics (and some art, as well as a comic) all focusing on the silly, honest, realistic aspects of sex and intimacy. Many based on actual experiences.

Saturday (final day!)

The Long Game by @jessicapendragon

  • smut, communication, fluff
  • Dragon Age Inquisition, Cullen x Inquisitor, 1532 words

appetitus interrupit by @reaping-cain

  • smut, fluff,
  • Dragon Age Inquisition, modern au, Cullen x Kaeran, 1083 words

Three Weeks by @slothquisitor

  • smut, fluff, humor, communication
  • Dragon Age Inquisition, modern au, Cullen x Lavellan, 600 words

Negotiations by @celeritassagittae

  • fluff, smut, only a little smutty?
  • Dragon Age Origins, Alistair x Mahariel, 718 words

Fear of (the not so little) Death by thesecondsealwrites

  • fluff, smut, humor
  • Dragon Age Origins, pre-origins, Cousland x Ser Gilmore, 1474 words

A Game of Temptation by @crisontumblr

  • smut, fluff, immersive roleplay, tw: bondage
  • Dragon Age Origins, Alistair x Tabris, 3016 words

Keep reading

Fine and Sweet, and With a Kick

A mini masterlist for Cari Trevelyan x Krem Aclassi. 

Cari x Krem are a major subplot of my main fic Acts of Reclamation Cari enters the long fic during the Inquisition’s first Spring at Skyhold. She and Krem and Sera become fast friends and there’s a lot of character development especially for Cari, but you can find the best parts of their story here:

  • In a Way I can’t Return: Early angst. Cari x Krem.
  • A Cup of Tea: Follows In a Way I can’t Return, resolution. These were two short prompts, I may combine them eventually into one work.
  • Fine and Sweet, and With a Kick: [from Cari’s first summer with the Inquisition, before feelings were known or admitted]
  • All Better?: [A kiss on the hand. Cari x Krem Fluff]
  • In Search of Certainty (Cari’s first time talking about her identity with anyone but Essa).
  • Firstfall: Cari, Krem, and Sera. Friendship fluff at Clifton. 2k words
  • Fifth Day of Haring: Cari’s birthday. Fluff. Cari Trevelyan. Krem Aclassi. 1100 words]
  • Eve of First Day [Cari x Krem, Sera. Feelings!]
  • Joyous First Day [Cari x Krem, Sera. Feelings!]
  • For As Long As the Wind Holds: [Some of Cari and Krem’s adventures once they left Clifton (at Essa’s behest) and stayed away from the potential awfulness of the end game dangers.]
  • Sway: Cari x Krem slow dancing after Cullen and Essa’s wedding.
  • Radiant: engagment fluff. Cari x Krem
  • Song of Sisters Cari and Essa fluff before Cari x Krem’s wedding.
  • Just a Swallow: Wine tasting hilarity at Cari x Krem’s wedding weekend.
  • Fixed Points: Cari x Krem, holiday fluff, early in their marriage.
  • Stanton: Cari x Cullen, twelve years after inquisition.

Cari Trevelyan is my inquisitor Essa’s older sister. A proper lady, Cari is Essa’s opposite in so many ways but they have both suffered for their mother’s coldness and manipulations. Cari finds herself when she joins the inquisition, she finds acceptance and purpose, and she finds something she never expected she could have: love. Cari is one of my ace spectrum characters. She is sex amibivalent with a low sex drive and her and Krem’s romance is my ode to how sex is not required for a healthy, happy, loving relationship. Communication and acceptance are.

kevluvs  asked:

Learning to accept uncertainty is so difficult but I feel that I have made some strides over the past few months. However, once in a while I do find myself slipping and searching for certainty and security. I am in a situation where I have no idea what the result will be; meditation as you said helps a great deal. What other suggestions do you have for these type of situations??

Is not this question its own way of searching for certainty? What are you hoping to accomplish through further suggestions?

Stop believing you should feel differently than you do in this moment. Stop waiting for an outcome or resolution. When you don’t know which way you are sailing, no wind is favorable. 

Meditation isn’t to make you feel better. It is to help you realize that there is enough space for whatever feelings you may have. If there is uncertainty, then okay. 

An unmindful shepherd may try to force his flock one way or another, convinced that there is a certain way things should be. That shepherd is constantly wrestling with the flock. A careless shepherd would put all the flock in a corral and go off to play somewhere, assuming the flock will behave. But a mindful shepherd will give the flock a spacious corral and then watch over the flock. By the very watching of the shepherd, the flock remains in its place. 

That is the effect of meditation and mindfulness. You don’t need to switch out your current flock of feelings for another. But you shouldn’t ignore or try to escape from them either. Just give them space and keep an eye on them.

A good practice to take up is tonglen, which can be practiced as a sitting meditation or as a day to day mindfulness technique on the spot. You learn how to stay with uncertainty and other uncomfortable feelings even while making room to bring spacious acceptance and kindness into the moment. 

The book The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron is a fantastic treatise on this kind of fearless living. 

Namaste my friend.