search within yourself

Appreciate The Art

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: You and Taehyung are on a museum date because you’re both art geeks but for some reason, the Mona Lisa doesn’t seem to take his breath away

Note: I’m an art freak and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t imagining myself on a museum date with Taehyung ever since those Van Gogh photos came out. 

Originally posted by toughchim

“Look! It’s the ‘Portrait of Patience Escalier 1888’! Oh the colour is so much more vibrant than the pictures!”

“They’re duller due to old age, actually.”

“Holy shit! It’s his ‘Portrait as an Artist 1888’! And the ‘Peasant Woman Portrait of Gordina de Gredoot 1885’! And the ‘Portrait of Adeline Ravoux 1890’!”

“Honestly, Jagi. You’ve been here a thousand times, do the paintings really still amaze you that much?” Taehyung asked, watching you fret over the various Van Gogh paintings positioned on the pristine walls of the museum.

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Dear, I know life is hard. I know Tuesday’s are your suicide days, and you just want to give in.
But darling, you are loved. People are rooting for you, even when it seems they’ve turned their backs on you.
Listen closely to me, because I know you better than anyone, you are the toughest, most brave person when you search deep within yourself.
You’ve overcome so many bad days, without going to that knife, your euphoric addiction.
Life is a tidal wave of love, pain, happiness, and sadness.
Please remember to hold on to your anchor. Please know that I need you more than anyone. You’re all that I have when I feel like I’m drowning.
I’m begging you, don’t release your feelings and float in that gray area, where you’re untouchable, even for the good things in life. Don’t stray from our vibrant world, endure the blacks and wait for brilliant blues and purples.
I know you can do this. I have faith in you.
Love, you.
—  Letters to myself #1 (quotebookingtoheal)
2

THE BLESSING OF BREITHONAKT:

Child of Darkness,
Being of Mortal Body and Life,
Embrace He Who Guards The Veil
Become that which heralds Darkness
Bring Death to those who Rebuke
Embrace Life Eternal
Become One with The Darkest One

MAJIDAH: Throughout the history of the Kuros, the presence of Breithonakt has been known like a song in the blood of each and every last one of them. For Breithonakt guards The Veil, that which protects the heart of all Kurosian culture from those who would corrupt her precious Darkness.

An old soul, older than time itself, saw as his siblings many received the blessings of their purpose. But he, largest of them all, saw no purpose in his task as a protector. “Muthura,” cried he, “Muthura, your gifts to my Julthair and Drafiur have been many. Surely, O Great One, there must be more to my existence than to guard, for I stand larger than all, save you!”

“Is there not honor in protecting those smaller than you?” asked she, who had birthed all the gods and Yekhshir in their glory and splendor. “Is there not honor in keeping your sibs safe as We make the world? Be still, vok dol yinn kroiata, and be wary of those who would harm them.”

Bitterly, Breithonakt returned to his duties, but became more and more embittered that he had yet to receive his gifts. Until for a blink, he slept. And that was the only opportunity their enemies needed.

From time before time, Dark and Light existed in an eternal dance; one could not exist without the other, else reality itself would fall into chaos, and be lost. However, much like Breithonakt had become surly and bitter, so too did a few of the gods who had been born of Light. One such god loathed the Children of Mahoura so deeply, he vowed that he would destroy them. So deeply did he hate them that he became corrupt, and none of Breithonakt’s spells detected him in time to stop him from setting upon his siblings.

The cry of his sibs was such that Breithonakt woke from his slumber, and fearful that Mahoura would deny him her gifts if they were slain, flew at the Light god in a fury. Such was his rage that the gift he did not know he possessed. The souls of those who had been foolhardy enough to attempt to cross his border sprang to life with many a shriek and cry, for their Eternal Lord’s fury was their own in this eternal torture, and shadows sprang from Breithonakt’s form to rip the Light god to a thousand pieces.

But as he destroyed this god of Light gone astray, one claw was cast into the physical realms below: a sliver of their most treasured and precious Darkness. To this day, it is not known where it landed; only that when a single mortal touched it, it was spread to all mortals. Feeling this, and the pain of her battered children, Mahoura flew on Breithonakt in her own rage.

“Amndoch! Mutrach’bachtein! What have you done!” Her cries could be heard for generations to come, her song filling all with fear and uncertainty. When the final note faded at last, Breithonakt lay completely broken by Mahoura’s claw. And at her claws he wept. For on seeing his siblings bloodied, some part of him realized the error of his ways; like him, these were bringers and protectors of Darkness. These were his flesh and blood. Despite this, he was still too proud, too bitter that Mahoura had never told him of his gift.

But no sooner had he tried to speak to Mahoura did she reach into his jaws, and wrench out his tongues.

“No, vok dol yinn kroiata. No. You shall never speak to us again. If you had only tried to search within yourself, you would have seen that my gifts to you were most precious.” Saddened by the sight of him, she cast his tongues into the flames of Bruja’heim’s mantle. “Vok dol yinn, I cast you from Our presence. For time eternal, you shall protect your sibs, and your sibs’ sibs, and their many children.” With a wave of her claw she cast him away. For the last time, he heard her voice.

“It pains me to damn you like this, Breithonakt, first Raiocht’Nol of my children. But they shall never speak to you, or of you, save for Bhailiu, who carries souls destined for eternity in Our company.” A pause, as souls innumerable and darkness shrouded him, encircling him, pulling him away from all he had ever known. “Fear not, vok dol yinn kroiata. There may come a time when you may redeem yourself, but you must want it. You must want it desperately.

“With each passing of an era, which shall last a million or more cycles ‘round the Center of our galaxy, you may cast one of your bones into the world. Only they may hear your song, your voice. But ‘tis up to you to convince them to protect, to uphold the balance as you have to save your siblings. Choose them well, Breithonakt. For the hearts and minds of mortals are fragile. Nauct’Seir,  vok dol yinn kroiata.”

Thus began Breithonakt’s eternity judging the souls worthy of approaching his siblings’ and Mahoura’s children, of passing through this mighty Veil that protects the Heart of the Kuros. 

Of his children, none have been able to hear his song without losing their minds. Though they know not the terrible secret kept of Breithonakt’s betrayal, the Kuros always err on the side of caution near a Cnámhdubh. Those unfortunate clans before rarely survived the madness that would eventually take the Black Boned ones, and it has been many, many cycles since the last.

Until now….

MOD: @weirdlanders/ @pepper-peen-queen asked me if I wanted to answer this question, so after reviewing some of the lore (which was basically us shrieking ”OMG BUT WHAT IF THEY DID THE THING” “WHY WOULD YOU SAAAYYYY THAAAT” back and forth), she and I drafted up the origin of the Cnámhdubh.

Phases of the Moon

The Moon is our closest astronomical body (next to our dear mother Earth) and tends to do a dance with us throughout the months. It can affect our emotions, creativity and tides! One whole cycle takes 28 days. There’s an ebb and a flow that represents a bringing in and a letting go.

We must take this into consideration when we’re looking to the Moon to help us. Her face shows what she can help us with during that time.

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It’s Time

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam, Mary

Word Count: 1022

Summary: SPOILERS for S1203.  The reader tires to make Dean believe she will never leave him.

Warning: Angst and a little bit of fluff at the end. SPOILERS!!!

A/N:  I have requests to write, homework to do, messages to respond to, a house to clean.  But apparently consoling Dean is my #1 priority.  I couldn’t stop thinking about this and I couldn’t get anything else done until it was finished.  Not my gif above.


It was a family trait. That need to hide yourself in hunting. You’d always known it was something Sam and Dean shared.  But you were surprised to find Mary shared it, too.  Though, to be honest, everything about Mary surprised you.

“Great!”  Dean said, with that enthusiasm that he forced.  You winced.  “We leave in 10.”  You glanced at Sam’s worried scowl and pushed yourself off the wall you’d been leaning on. Sam glanced at you, tilting his head slightly.  You shook your head, pursing your lips together, and followed Dean towards your shared room.

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An autistic awakening through LSD and reading the truth contest

Hello everyone I wanted to share my experience with awakening. I should start with a little background information about myself. When I was a kid I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. looking back at it now I realize that there wasn’t anything really wrong with me I just had serious insecurity issues because of constant bullying and hate by my peers and even adults.

I was bullied a lot in Elementary school and it made me have a very negative outlook on life, it wasn’t until I started meeting people who had compassion in their hearts that my life started to change. So fast foward to when I’m 19 years old and just graduated High School, everything felt off to me for some reason I had just lost a lot of weight (over 90 pounds) I did this because I felt like being fat was holding me back and everyone was proud of me, some people were still negative to me of course but I got a lot more people who were actually rooting for me and were proud of me but at the same time I felt weird like something was missing. I still had constant anxiety, I spent a lot of time alone and I still do but whenever I went on I felt like I was constantly being judged by other people even if they weren’t or I wouldn’t know if they were judging me.

 I guess it was from being bullied for so many years of my life, I lost my trust in people and I felt like everyone was out to get me even the people who still loved me and were trying to help. I started reading a lot about spirituality on my free time, one of the first things I read was the truth contest which really struck me as interesting and I went back and read it over and over again. I started digging deeper and read even more stuff, from the teachings of Buddha, to Eckhart Tolles book the power of now, spirit science, the bible, I read everything I possibly could my intention was to find out the truth.

 I wanted to know there was more to this life then met the eye, because I was in a state of constant misery battling depression and anxiety I did everything I could, but it felt like nothing worked, one of the main things keeping me from suicide was the thought of hurting my loved ones especially my mother. Well at the time I had a small group of friends I did hang out with occasionally, we didn’t have a lot in common in fact I was quite different then them but I was still glad to have them as friends.

We smoked cannabis together, occasionally we would drink alcohol. One day my friend bought a strip of some high quality high dose acid and some sugar cubes. I have never been a hard druggy, I was happy with just cannabis, but I heard a lot about lsd and how it can open your perspective so I was willing to try it out.

 The first time I bought LSD I had just one strip and didn’t feel anything, this time I was taking a sugar cube which was infused with over 2 doses and I had just lost a lot of weight. So I eat the sugar cube, with a few of my friends it was a great time in fact possibly the most happiest I ever was my entire life just talking and hanging out with my friends we were laughing and joking about everything and I started to realize that life isn’t really all that serious as our mind makes it out to be.

So me and my friends are tripping for hours, it turns out that their lsd wore off early because they had a less strong dose compared to me and they fell asleep. So I was alone and the trip was still pretty intense for me, I decided to walk home and so I did I put some pink floyd on and put head phones in my ears and wow that was amazing like words can not describe. When I got home and took my headphones off I was still pretty euphoric but even through all that I felt some anxiety. I sat down and turned on my computer, I started reading the truth contest again, I already had it open in a tab before I left.

I couldn’t stop reading it and all these questions surged through my head, and my anxiety came back stronger then ever before, my mind worrying about this worrying about this, something inside me cried out IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER WE ALL DIE ANYWAY. Right then everything went silent. and it felt so strange it was like my mind was dead it was no longer thinking. I suddenly got very scared and started crying I thought I messed up, I started saying I sure done it this time I immediately apologized to God even though I didn’t believe in him prior to this experience, I said i’m sorry God I really messed up, I think my brain is dead I think my body is shot, why I said this I don’t know it was the most bizarre feeling ever it was like God had forsaken me it was like I had no soul and I was just empty.

For the next few weeks after that I was more depressed then I ever been before, I kept bursting out in tears for no reason even though I just wanted to surrender and move on, I realize now that it was just cleansing my body of old negative energies. Now I have made a lot of changes, I switched to a vegan diet, starting listening to bi-narul beats, meditate frequently and it’s much easier for me to stay present. Somewhere along my path I came to the conclusion that if i’m going to be in this body I might as well make it a body worth living in.

Nowadays my life is completely different, and I realize that my social awkwardness was just pointless and resistance to what is, I realize that anyone, even the most unintelligent person in the world can come off as likable with some confidence. After the dark night of the soul everything was much more clearer to me though it wasn’t a short walk I remember multiple times within the dark night (more like months) that I thought it was over and I would never be the same again. I realize now that out of darkness comes light, a light brighter than any other. Sending my love to all the truth seekers out there, keep searching within for yourself.

With Love, Austin
~~~~~

Thank you for your submission and story

Return Again, Awake, O Soul of Splendor!

“Kal [the demiurge] has entangled people in illusions to such an extent that they have totally forgotten their real Home. Kal has woven such a net that now it is difficult to get released from it. These traps are rituals and rites, scripture reading and worship, and performing Yagyas (oblations). These have nothing to do with realisation of God.” (Anurag Sagar)

“My soul, 0 most Splendid One…where have you gone? Return again. Awake, soul of splendor, from the slumber of drunkenness into which you have fallen…follow me to the place of the Exalted World where you existed in the beginning.” (Mandaean Gnostic psalm from Iraq quoted in, The Gnostic Religion, by Hans Jonas, Beacon Press)

Meditation: God Resides Inside – Look, Listen for Him There

“Look for and search for God within yourself, within your own body. God resides inside – look for him there. The white point shines straight ahead and twinkles. You must concentrate in sushumna [inner passage or tunnel, central channel, middle path] by leaving the restlessness of the mind behind. Where the subtle sounds vibrate in the ajna chakra [third eye center, point between the eyebrows], stay and make your dwelling. The Door is subtle and sushumna is the Point or Window. With great effort, you can go through.” (Sant Maharshi Mehi)

Commentary: Meditation is the soul’s Portal to the Divine, a Doorway to God and the Heavens that are within. Place your mind before the mirror of eternity. Place your soul in the brilliance of glory. Place your heart in the figure of the divine substance and transform your entire being into the image of the Godhead itself through contemplation. Meditate upon the Love, Light and Sound of the Positive Power within you.

The Third Eye Center is also known as The Seat of the Soul. When one goes within, in addition to the possibility of contemplating Divine Light, in this world of Inner Space there is also the possibility of hearing “subtle sounds vibrating” (Maharishi Mehi). This is referring to the Inner Sound Current or Music of the Spheres, the Sound coming from Beyond the Silence (also called Logos, Word, AUM, HU, Tao, Nada, Shabda, Saunt-e Sarmad, Song of the Creator). Often people first hear the Astral Bell Sound, a kind of ringing, like a bell that has been struck that keeps on reverberating … forever. This ringing comes when we concentrate, and like the Light, seems to “disappear” when we lose concentration and leave off our meditation practice. The Sound and the Light are really still there, are always there. It is only our attention (surat) that comes and goes.

When darkness is no longer dark, when the stillness of the night gives birth to a faint Celestial Melody, know this: one more soul is being summoned to awakening, one more soul hears the Call, one more soul ascends to the Place of Life.

“0 Surat [soul]! You have had enough sleep.
Now get up and proceed on. Why do you waste your capital here.

Come under the protection of the Satguru. Hold fast to Naam and get rid of all evils.

Kal strikes at you every moment. Associate yourself with Shabd, and throw away the load of karmas.

Why do you not wash off the impurities of your mind now? Why do you not merge your Surat in Shabd?

Behold the marvelous Jyoti (flame) within yourself. Radhasoami has opened the spring of Bhakti.”

– Soamiji Maharaj (Sant Radhasoami Sahab), Sar Bachan Radhasoami Poetry, Volume One)

RADHASOAMI – The Ocean of All-Love

Soamiji Maharaj: “From one step to another the soul beholds strange things which cannot be described in human language. Every region and everything is utterly beyond words. What beauty and glory! How can I describe them? There is nothing here to convey the idea. I am helpless…. Love plays the supreme part. It is all love. So says RADHASWAMI.” (Sar Bachan Poetry)

ubirch  asked:

I have an awful time getting up in the morning. I'll sleep until noon to keep dreaming, because I don't want to wake up & deal with life or its responsibilities. Even if I'm having stressful dreams, I refuse to wake up & start my day. I always wake up mad that it's time to get up, & I don't start my to-do list until late at night. I want to wake up happy & ready to tackle the day, but I'm always wanting to sleep. do you have any advice on how to wake up with a positive, motivated attitude?

Forget your ideas about a positive and motivated attitude. Let’s start with just getting up and no longer resisting the day. 

I totally understand the urge to stay in bed and avoid facing the day. On one level, sleep offers a kind of peace that is often forgotten in daily life. In sleep, our body relaxes and our concerns vanish. In order to find a similar kind of peace in your waking life, you need to practice daily meditation

On another level, staying in bed instead of facing the day is like preferring death over life. For us to start feeling this way, it must mean that something about our daily life has become untenable. Depression is a good example, in which your experiences are continually being spoiled by this looming suffering. 

Right now you are creating resistance within yourself. You don’t want to take care of your responsibilities but you want to be free from them. You wont be free from your responsibilities until you are willing to tend to them. This contradiction creates a dissonance within you from which suffering results. It feels like they are always hanging over your head. It is also why you get trapped in cycles of avoidance. Some people turn to drugs, others to different things, and for you it is sleep. 

Don’t wait until you want to do something. Just don’t resist the fact that you are being called to fulfill a role. 

A few things to keep in mind for waking up in the morning:

  • Recognize what it is you truly want. You don’t want to be in bed all day. You want to be at peace all day. You don’t want to be without responsibilities, you just want to be free from the turmoil they seem to cause within you. Search within yourself for more examples like this. 
  • How you go to bed impacts how you wake up. Do you drink alcohol before bed? Do you stay up engaging with electronic devices and screens? Other healthier pre-bedtime activities are reading a book, doing some yoga, listening to soothing music, or doing some art. 
  • Create a morning routine. Don’t think about the rest of your day until the routine is completed. Once you wake up in the morning, initiate that routine. It could be something as simple as getting out of bed, stretching, showering, meditating, and drinking something caffeinated before then sorting out your to-do list. 
  • Laugh. The moment you realize you are awake, force yourself to laugh. It’s hard but just do it. Keep laughing. More! You might find yourself actually laughing at how weird this is to do. Either way, it shakes up energy within you and helps you to feel unburdened. 

I felt physically ill in the morning whenever I had to wake up early. This started in my teenage years and lasted until I was around 26. Now I can wake up at pretty much any hour and feel okay. If you are still young and/or teenage, then some of this is also physiological and normal. However, if you are concerned, it is never a bad idea to speak to your doctor. Not everyone wakes up feeling positive and excited for the day–I don’t–but you shouldn’t have to wake up feeling like crap either. 

Lastly, a book I’d recommend is The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa. 

Namaste! 

I think everybody really must get to a point in their life where they think, ‘What is this? Is this life? Driving up and down the San Diego Freeway? Pollution? Going to hassle my way through some office,’ or whatever their work is? How do you say it so you don’t offend half the planet? You’ve got to be either just totally not interested in any spirit, or totally blind to the fact that we’re not having fun.

You see, people accept a certain condition in life: 'Okay, well, I have to do this, I have to do that, and there’s no hope, and I’m not going to see Christ because he’s dead.’ And they accept that. But the soul, or whatever you want to call that thing inside, is looking - it’s perfect. Everybody is potentially divine, and there’s this perfection in everybody, and it’s that thing that is crying out to say, 'Well, this isn’t it. This isn’t good enough for me. I want more money. I’ve got more money? I want more fame. Well, I’ve got more fame? Now that still isn’t it. I still want to be happy. This isn’t real happiness. Where do I find it?’ It’s that questioning and that searching within yourself, that you either give it up, or you find it.

—  George Harrison in response to Chris Willman’s question, “You helped popularize Eastern religion for a generation. Do you think the hunger for that is more or less strong now?”, 1987, published by EW, 14 December 2001
So here it is.

I have followers that have followed me for 4+ years. Most have died off but some of u are still here

If you are one of those few you have seen me at my absolute worse. U have seen me go public with all of my relationships
There was 2 that was on tumblr and my most recent was just publicized on insta

My point is, my worst has always stemmed from my relationships. I’m bad at dealing with heartbreak and need to learn to cope better. I invest myself 100 percent in everything I love. And when it’s over I feel as if I’m left with nothing… I am trying my best to not consider myself as damaged as that will prevent myself from growing, from moving forward. But damn it’s hard…

Phone goes off I can’t help but wish it was her…
I often blame myself for not being “good enough” when in reality I know I am I just can’t seem too piece together all the “why’s” example: know I’m a good woman so why would u leave.

Some people say they arnt ready. But who the fuck isn’t ready to be loved… excuses, I hate them… I’m in my 20’s and although I’m young I don’t have time to date people for fun.

After all my let downs and past relationships it’s hard to let people in but every once in a while I let it happen because I think I find someone who will cherish it… but yet again, it turns out to be another let down….

At this moment in my life I need to just learn to be alone again.. or at least be okay with being alone.. it’s bad when the only person who can truly make u feel better is the one who hurt u … that’s when u know u need to do some soul searching within yourself. ..


I’m not gunna edit this I just needed to throw up some feelings. .. .

carniccity  asked:

To be honest, I don't get why Blake needed to be non-binary. Not to say gender diversity isn't welcome, but I do want to know what it adds to the character other than another label. I have my own characters who ended up being other things, but I want to know your take on gender diversity in stories other than for the sake of gender diversity.

To be honest, I don’t get why Blake wouldn’t need to be non-binary. Not to say cisnormativity isn’t welcome, but I do want to know what it adds to the character other than another label…I have cis characters too but idk, whats your take on it……………….

As a more serious response: There is nothing wrong with “diversity for the sake of diversity”. Does a character need a justification for being trans? Or gay? Or black, for that matter? Why must everything that isn’t a cishet white character be somehow “justified” to be allowed? Why are you resisting diversity for the sake of diversity? is there something wrong with diversity? Search deep within yourself, and tread carefully.

“What it adds to the character”? If anything, there are good reasons exactly why Blake “needed” to be NB. I will show you.

It’s because it means something to those people who relate. It’s because representation matters most to those being represented. It’s because, by refusing to acknowledge and represent the incredibly wide spectrum of identities and narrowing the media representation down to one cookie cutter shape, you exclude many people. You make those people feel abnormal, or even broken. You make them feel Othered, because everywhere they look in the media, no one is like them. And I think seeing myself reflected in media (at last) and knowing <<there are people writing stories about people like me, I’m not alone and I’m worth telling stories about too>> is very important.

Representation matters, and you should never need a “reason” to add diversity. “Needing” that is a large, alarming red flag for your mindset.

Goodbye.

George Harrison, screen capped from Living in the Material World

“I think everybody really must get to a point in their life where they think, ‘What is this? Is this life? Driving up and down the San Diego Freeway? Pollution? Going to hassle my way through some office,’ or whatever their work is? How do you say it so you don’t offend half the planet? You’ve got to be either just totally not interested in any spirit, or totally blind to the fact that we’re not having fun.

You see, people accept a certain condition in life: ‘Okay, well, I have to do this, I have to do that, and there’s no hope, and I’m not going to see Christ because he’s dead.’ And they accept that. But the soul, or whatever you want to call that thing inside, is looking - it’s perfect. Everybody is potentially divine, and there’s this perfection in everybody, and it’s that thing that is crying out to say, ‘Well, this isn’t it. This isn’t good enough for me. I want more money. I’ve got more money? I want more fame. Well, I’ve got more fame? Now that still isn’t it. I still want to be happy. This isn’t real happiness. Where do I find it?’ It’s that questioning and that searching within yourself, that you either give it up, or you find it.” - George Harrison in an interview with Chris Willman, 1987; published by EW on 14 December 2001

anonymous asked:

Hey Adam, I know you get stuff like this a lot, and I'm sorry for asking. Also, please excuse my english, I'm still learning. But how dou yo cope with anxiety and depression? I don't know what to do, I feel alone, in a world where I don't belong. I feel like if nobody cared for me. I come to school and I can't shake that horrible feeling from my shoulders. I'm sorry once again, but I want to thank you, for listening and helping your fans, I don't know, I just wish you could be here with me.

If I was there I would give you a big hug, I know how that feels all too well. Life is hard, society is cruel, and nobody cares. That’s the way the world works. The key to being happy is looking all that bullshit in the face and not caring. You have to search within yourself for the light of happiness, surround yourself with things and people you love who encourage that flame within you, and focus on things that give you motivation and inspiration. No matter what happens, stay strong, keep an open mind, and be yourself. Fuck the haters.