Me: I began in 1809. I was born to a mother and a father in the dead of winter. And then what became dead was my mother. And then my father left because he couldn’t stand the sight of a baby with no hair - so I grew hair! And then I was adopted by a family named the Allans - just kidding, the didn’t adopt me they just gave me their name. And to make matters worse, we lived in Virginia. And, also, a bird was there.