2

World Cup of Hockey headshots - Team North America

Ever thought of making Team Canada an NHL team? Think again. Team Canada is worth roughly $94 million in salaries.

youtube

“tell mommy i’m sorry this life is a party” 

youtube

Sportsnet Canada’s Secret Santa continues, this time in Philly. 

Autobiographies.

“Grilled Cheese, Gingers, and Great Hair” - an autobiography of Claude ‘G Baby’ Giroux

“I Have the Best Hair in the League and I’m the Only Teammate active on Instagram” - an autobiography of Michael 'MDZ’ Del Zotto

“Missing Teeth and Magnificent Beards” - an autobiography of Sean 'Coots’ Couturier

“I am One of the Few Things Keeping This Team in Playoff Contention” - an autobiography of Steve 'Stone Cold’ Mason.

“Ghosts are Real” - an autobiography of Shayne 'Ghost Bear’ Gotisbehere

“One Celly Move and That’s My Name Forever” - an autobiography of Michael 'Raffl-Copter’ Raffl

“Can’t Play Soccer to Save My Life, but I’ll Score the OT Winning Goal After Getting Cut With a Skate” - an autobiography of Brayden 'Little Schenn’ Schenn

“I Dare You To Fight Me” - an autobiography of Wayne 'Wayne Train/Simmer’ Simmonds

“People Say I Need To Tame My Hair” - an autobiography of Jakub 'Jake/Scoracek’ Voracek

“I am Czechoslovakian and Precious” - an autobiography of Michal 'Neuvy’ Neuvirth

Honestly a happy Wayne Simmonds can cure depression bc look at this

Try to be sad while looking at that. You can’t. It’s like trying to say “bubbles” really angrily. You can’t. He’s precious.

Look at that smile. He jump. A national treasure, really.

Guest appearances by Brayden Schenn and Scott Laughton. Look at these happy dorks. Just try to be sad. You can’t. It’s impossible.

I mean, honestly. His smile could probably end wars. Somebody get Obama on the phone.

Wow. This cutie. I can’t. Someone protect him. Wrap him in bubble wrap. I volunteer.

More guest appearances by Danny B (forever we love you) and Hartsy’s hair. Look at them being dorks. My word. Wrap them all in bubble wrap.


See you’re not even sad anymore. Wayne Simmonds is magic.