sea-line

Uncle Popeye Fucks Up Hunting So Bad Legislation Happens

(Gun use, alcohol mention, amazingly- no animal death)

So you may remember Uncle Popeye from A Holiday Story, when he and grandpa tried to shoot a pheasant and fucked it up real bad.  I called the Ohio Relatives.  They have no idea how the family knew Popeye either, but that his given name was Richard, but got tired of being called “Dick” and after losing an eye in WW2, went by Popeye.

Look man, Ohio DOES things to people.

Popeye fancied himself the Great Outdoors-man, despite a long list of evidence to the contrary- besides the shooting incident, there was the time he got lost in the woods behind his house for a week despite being less than a mile from his house and six major roads, the time he almost poisoned the whole family after mushrooming in the hills only to be stopped by GG, and the time he got in a fight with a Woodcock and Lost.

The worst though, was Snowflake.

Near where my Ohio relatives lived, and continue to live, there is a Military Armory. (You know that joke about “If all your relatives all live in the same postcode, you might be a redneck?”  Yeah, check that.  Mom was the first to leave the state, and keeps urging the others that they are free to leave, they can’t keep you there. But I digress).  The armory is actually kind of a large campus, several hundred acres in size, where they take lots of old munitions and aircraft and whatnot, and figure out how to take apart and dispose of them without blowing everything up to fuck. The whole area is fenced off to keep the locals from helping themselves to the munitions (A serious issue in redneck country), which trapped the deer in the forest inside.  

The deer, no longer having to worry about hunters, but cut off from the outside population, basically went full Deliverance, and the resulting mutants are… rather pretty.  

The mutation is Luecistism, not albinism, but it makes for pretty, pretty very stupid deer.  Like, even dumber than white-tail already are, and whitetail are DUMB.  But the deer on the armory could afford to be easy to spot and have no natural fear of anything, because there were no predators or hunters, and the soldiers stationed there had better things to do

The prettiest of them all was Snowflake, the large white buck named Snowflake, because soldiers are great at naming things.  He was, by all accounts, a truly splendid creature- snow-white and shapely, with a well-developed rack.  Not unlike a porn star, apparently.  And many a man Lusted after snowflake, desperate for his head.

Or other things.  Ohio’s a pretty fucked up place.

But unlike other men, who would only stare wistfully from afar, Popeye was absolutely determined to have Snowflake.  The issue was, the military, having a few moments of sense, had decreed that having people wandering around a munitions decommissioning plant with firearms was likely to result in fire and death, declared that there was to be no hunting on their grounds.  The only way Popeye could feasibly shoot Snowflake would be if he were somehow able to get him on the other side of the fence.  But he couldn’t just cut a hole in the fence- it was fairly regularly checked, and he’d be caught.  Nope.  Somehow, Popeye had to get Snowflake on the other side of the fence without damaging it or the Military noticing.

It was during an afternoon of boozing and watching western documentaries, Popeye hit upon a solution.  He was watching a tourism promotion for all the great outdoor activities in Colorado, when he saw the solution to his problem.

He could FISH for deer.

Specifically, he fly-fish.  In his mind, he could clearly see how it would play out.  he’d simply find a heavy-duty line, cast it over the fence, tangling it in Snowflake’s antlers, and then reel him over the fence, where it would be perfectly legal to shoot him and then he’d be the envy of all the men down at the elks lodge.  Hah!  Genius!

So that spring, Popeye began tossing corn over the fence to lure deer to that particular secluded corner, and was immensely pleased when Snowflake started turning up regularly.  He’d get his trophy AND some fat venison!  All summer and into fall, he continued this, with the deer getting entirely too casual about his presence.  he also got his hands on some deep-sea fishing line and practiced ensnaring the antlers of his dummy deer in the backyard.  Just to make sure he had the leverage to haul Snowflake in, he got the harness that attaches the pole to your hip.  All was going according to plan.

So the first day of hunting season, Popeye goes to his corner where he’s been feeding the deer, and Snowflake is there, waiting for breakfast.  Great.  Popeye backs his pickup truck up to the fence, and stands on the bed so he can cast over the fence.  The deer, being imbeciles, fail to notice anything amiss.  He casts, and miracle of miracles, he gets the loop over Snowflake’s antlers on the first try!  Popeye whips the line around some more, making sure Snowflake is good and tangled, before reeling him in.

Apparently snowflake just stood there for this part, presumably looking confused.  Then the line began to pull on him.

As Popeye would later recount from the hospital:  “That’s when I realized.  Deer ain’t Mackinaw.”

Popeye had, in all his planning,  not taken into consideration that a 200-pound buck at the height of his testosterone-riddled rut might be somewhat disinclined to be pulled over a fence.  Furthermore, Popeye had failed to account that at 5′5″, he was of similar size to the deer, and in nowhere near as good of shape.

He recalled ALMOST flying over the fence as Snowlfake turned and ran for the safety of the base.  He did not quite make it, and cracked both knees as they slammed into the fence, jeans and harness shredding on the barbed wire.  it was not enough to separate him from the harness, only enough to slide it down his legs and tangle around his ankles, so that once he hit the ground, Popeye was dragged for half a goddamn mile by his feet as Snowflake frantically tried to get away.

Once at the base, and all manner of bruised, cut up and abused, Popeye was relieved when they finally came to a halt.  he regretted it half a second later when he realized that Snowflake had only turned around, and was now bearing down on his sorry ass full-tilt.  Several puncture and kick wounds later, Popeye managed to kick off the harness, freeing himself from Snowflake, and had to run back to where he thought he’d left the truck.  In the middle of the night, in the woods, with cracked patellas and without pants.

It took him all night to find the fence and truck, but managed to get back over the fence and to the hospital without being spotted. In a fit of paranoia that almost pased for good sense, he drove to three counties away to be treated, so the police wouldn’t find him, bleeding all the way.  He neglected beforehand, to tell any of his friends or family where he was going, except that he was deer-hunting.

He was very disappointed when he turned up a week later and found out nobody had gone looking for him.

 Snowflake was found tangled up in a tree, and was cut loose by the soldiers, apparently upset but unharmed.  Concerned that the poachers were getting too creative for their own good, the base petitioned the state legislature to maybe make a law that you aren’t allowed to fish for deer, Christ, we only found the poor man’s pants.

The state legislature, in a fit of rabid libertarianism, declared that such a law would be too restrictive upon the freedom of Ohioans, so the Army tried the country.  The county, which had to actually deal with this kind of bullshit on a semi-regular basis, agreed, and it is now illegal to Hunt any bird, fish or quadruped with devices and equipment not intended for such purpose.

Popeye never went deer-hunting after that, and Snowflake went on to sire many many more pretty inbred deer.

beside the dancing sea by @omgkatsudonplease is something that needs to be on your list of things to read before you die because man you gotta

i was given the privilege to read the preview of the last chapter and i am overwhelmed with so. much. emotion!!!!!!!! she will be posting the last chapter soon and all of you better be prepared

Art style and astrology

The color palette you choose, the kind of sketches you draw, the concepts and ideas that come to your mind while drawing can be described by astrology with Venus and Neptune. The moon has a big impact too.

Venus

Venus in Aires is all about messy sketches, action poses, rough lines and reddish, contrasted palettes. Their art is most likely to be colorful and groundbreaking.

Venus in Taurus is all about human anatomy, sensual poses and greenish palettes. Their art is most likely to have quality and being pleasent to look.

Venus in Gemini  is all about communication and characters, matched with a yellowish palettes. They could be great fanartist because they are able to imagine how a character would react in different situations. Their art style could be simple or tricky. They could use a huge variation of of materials and colors.

Venus in Cancer is all about eyes, people, melancholy and pale palettes. Their art is most likely to have a a huge emotional weight.

Venus in Leo is all about exageration and symbolism! Colors, people, animals, landscape matched with gold, bright palettes. Their art is most likely to be full of life. They can feel inspired by everything!

Venus in Virgo is all about neat lines, well proporcioned figures and dull palettes. Their art could show their daily life, with a hidden message.

Venus in Libra is all about beauty, soft lines and pinkish-pastel palettes. Their art is most likely to be aesthetic oriented, but not shallow at all. 

Venus in Scorpio is all about distorted anatomy and poses, rough lines and dark or reddish palettes. Their art is most likely to be disturbing and with a deep meaning.

Venus in Sagittarius is all about exaggerated anatomy, dynamic poses and purple palettes, colorful and vibrant colors. Their art is most likely to express an ideal or belief.

Venus in Capricorn is all about elegance and brownish palettes. Their art is most likely to find success and frame the current society.

Venus in Aquarius is all about weird anatomy and electric palettes, could not use lineart at all. Their ideas or art style are most likely to be groundbreaking as Aries’ art, but with a purpose.

Venus in Pisces is all about their dreams, blurred lines and sea-green palettes. Their draws are most likely to have a dream-like atmosphere. People could feel reflected in their art, and their draws could being interpreted in different ways.

Neptune

Neptune in the Earth signs are most likely to draw their enviroment and what they can see and touch.

Neptune in the Fire signs are most likely to draw their unique creations and ideals.

Neptune in the Air signs are most likely to draw abstract concepts and try to express and communicate through their art.

Neptune in the Water signs are most likely to do art closely attached to their sentiments, art could be a therapy for them.

It can be interpreted with houses too. For example, if Neptune is in the 5th house it will have a similar influence like if it were in Leo.

8

The Tyrells rose to power as stewards to the Kings of the Reach, whose domains included the fertile plains of the southwest from the Dornish marches and Blackwater Rush to the shores of the Sunset Sea. Through the female line they claim descent from Garth Greenhand, gardener king of the First Men, who wore a crown of vines and flowers and made the land bloom. When King Mern, last of the old line, perished on the Field of Fire, his steward Harlen Tyrell surrendered Highgarden to Aegon Targaryen, pledging fealty. Aegon granted him the castle and dominion over the Reach. The Tyrell sigil is a golden rose on a grass-green field. Their words are: “Growing Strong”

asoiaf/got meme  → 3/9 houses: house tyrell of highgarden

flickr

Coastline near Carrick-a-Rede by Manadh Photography

The Natural Regions of Germany (1): The Coast

In the north, Germany has shares of the North Sea and the Baltic Sea. In the middle of the German Bight, the rocky island of Heligoland is Germany’s most remote outpost. It is not part of the European Customs Area and a generally customs-free zone. Therefore, it is a popular stopover for boat owners to fuel up. Cars and bicycles are illegal on Heligoland, except for the police, firefighters, customs, and emergency services. Footbikes are allowed, goods are carried by handcarts. Britain attempted to blast the island after world war II. as it was regarded an unwanted outpost of the German state and a possible danger for the British islands in future conflicts, but the attempt failed, leaving only a big scar in the surface. Years later, the residents were allowed to come back.

The North Sea coast is lined with islands. Their dunes and sandy beaches make them top domestic tourist destinations.

Between the islands and the mainland, there is the wadden sea, an area of vast mudflats that are flooded and fall dry with the rhythm of the tides. They are interrupted by the estuars of the rivers Ems, Jade, Weser, and Elbe.

The Baltic Sea coast is characterized by a change between flat beaches and steep cliffs.

A number of islands and peninsulas, among them the island of Rügen, Germany’s biggest island, are separated from the mainland by the Boddens, brackish lagoons that form a unique ecosystem.

Many of the coastal towns became spas for the wealthy by the end of the 19th century. After the German reunion, their former splendor has been restored.

Even on sunny summer days, harsh winds may blow over the beaches while the light is still bright enough to give you a good sunburn. This challenged German ingenuity to invent a special piece of furniture: The Strandkorb, beach basket.

You can sit down, enjoying the view of the sea while being shielded from three sides against the wind and from the top against the sund and occasional showers. They have a fold-out sunvisor, reclining backrest, pull-out footrests (which also serve as storage boxes for your beach items), and fold-away trays to hold a drink or a snack. If you have rented a Strandkorb for multiple days, you can leave your items there as they can be secured with a wooden grating and a padlock.

A major attraction is the Kiel Week, one of the largest sailing events worldwide, with its Windjammer Parade.

Headcanon: Everyone expected Moana’s chosen tattoo to be some sort of sea creature. Perhaps a sea turtle or a manta ray like her Grandmother’s. So it comes as a surprise to all when she instead chooses a mighty Hawk not unlike a certain demigod. It’s wings spread over her shoulders as if they’d sprout from her very back. In her next life, she says, she wants to be able to soar anywhere she wants–over land and sea, endlessly chasing that line where the sky meets the sea. It both touches Maui and reminds him grimly of her mortality.