Deceitful. Sickening. Raging.
The list could go on but long-story-short: My first POT date was a disaster.
If you follow me, you got a glimpse of my encounter with Wine. PHD holder, government worker, wealthy, exhaustive traveler, and widowed. (I fact checked all the information and he didn’t lie about any of it, not even his name and position- everything was a 100% real). He was so polite and charming during our text and call-exchanges I thought he may have been my first SD. ( all conversation posted previously) But darling was I wrong.
He chose a fancy seafood restaurant, gave me several options to choose activities from, suggested picking me up - while mentioning that if I felt more comfortable meeting up there he will be totally understanding (I was not about to get in his car for the first meet-up). Everything seems to scream SD material… but as I learned: All that shines is not gold.
First, let me provide you with context.
-He is Fat - Hairy - Smelly and ugly. But he got money so oh well? Next.
-The restaurant is in a white suburban DC neighborhood. Keyword: white. I was literally the ONLY black person there. And Lord knows it was crowded. They all stared at me like I didn’t belong there. The woman at the table right next to us even told her husband “ look at her. It’s sad. What wont they do for money. No self esteem.”(she did not care being heard. Our tables were literally 2inches apart.) But I looked amazing ( not to sound obnoxious : I dressed up the part ) so I just fooled myself into thinking that’s why I got stares. Next.
-I paid for my own uber( i know it’s stupid but if you read my previous posts you will know why and how that happened - it doesn’t make it any less stupid tho ). Okay. Now let’s really Next.
-He is awkward. He would just pause in the middle of the conversation and just stare at me for the longest. I mean stare like he was about to snatch the soul out of me. It creeped me out.
-He is racist. Literally. Racist.
This man kept talking about how big my hair was ( I am natural and I would not go through heat damage for any man - so I wore my curls out -).
He told me how he likes that I am foreign because “Black - Americans tend to have a different attitude. They don’t smile as much. They are just… different than you Black foreigners” (his words)
I argued that given the racial history of this country , it was hard to smile and rejoice given the treatment of our people. I said our to make sure he understood that I was Black too, and that I wouldn’t tolerate his devising bias.
He did not get it. He proceeded to explain how I have a misunderstanding of the US history because I was a foreigner ( maybe just maybe my perspective had to do with me being black and not foreign? But whatever)
This man talked about the Civil War for half and hour - claiming how Virginia is the eldorado and George Washington is the brightest man to ever walk this earth. He then tried to argue how the Civil War was about patriotism rather than slavery.
I was done. There is only so much I can take and at that point I just zoned out.
Luckily he stopped talking - Until he grabbed my hand to “ look at my nice manicure”.I was so disgusted I had to pull my hand away ( of course I pretended it was to grab my drink as I offered my biggest smile )
- He kept talking about his exes. He showed me pictures of the two girls he dated after his wife died , to only slander their character. He will say stuff like" I am glad you are so knowledgeable about X Y and Z, my ex knew nothing about it. She thought I was boring . But she was just clueless, unlike you"
- He mentioned his deceased wife the whole time. I understood it as grievance - until he affirmed “ Sometimes relationships die down. But Barbara ( his wife) had cancer. I never cheated and I don’t think she did either. At least not in the last years of our mariage.” Idk but for him to talk about his wife like that? After 23yrs old of mariage? It just bothered me.
- He kept discussing about not wanting labels and exclusivity ( as if I did LOL) . He would mention how his ex was prude and kept asking what is my (sexual) experience with men. I laughed it off and answered “enough to know my worth” That shut him up
LAST BUT NOT LEAST- YOU KNOW I HAD TO HIT YOU WITH BANG.
Remember how I said it was a fancy sea-food restaurant. Guess what?
-When the server presented us with the cards, e said : “ We will take the brunch option ” EXCUSE YOU? Why would you bring me to a luxury sea-food restaurant if you did not plan on paying for luxury sea food.
I was looking forward to having oysters and crab. Thanks God I know how to keep a poker face because if stares could kill - he would have died right there.
Needless to say I was so pissed. As soon as we finished eating I told him I couldn’t stay because I had exams to study for. I thanked him for the time and ordered my uber back even before the bill came ( rude I know but I pretended I mistakenly clicked on the order button and couldn’t cancel in fear of being charged ( that way I had 3mn left to gtfo ). He didn’t suspect anything. Was super happy and suggested we see each other again blah blah)
I smiled, grabbed my bag - and while I was midway through the restaurant. He got up and halfway screamed “ I will take a hug now” I froze. Everybody was looking at us. I was never that embarrassed in my whole life. I had to kick every ounce of pride out of me to walk back to him, and give him an hug and a genuine smile as the whole restaurant looked at me in disgust ( I was disgusted to so I don’t blame them)
I still sent him a text thanking him while in the uber. He kept mentioning how he was generous and didn’t mind paying and taking me out or traveling with me and that he will be eager to see me again.
That’s when I figured I will test him to see where to go with this. I thanked him again and politely asked “ Would you mind compensating my uber fare of today? I don’t necessary ask because people generally offer but I would really appreciate it”
Guess what? He said “ I offered to bring you back ”
I was blown. The conversation went on for a while and I was so fed up I just said “ Yes or No? No explanations, no prerogatives. A simple answer would do”
He said: I cannot paypal you your uber fare.
That’s when I dismissed it.
How does one pretend to be generous and giving but will argue for 30 mn about how he can not paypal me a simple uber fare ( the conversation was so much longer than that - I will post it next because I am too lazy to write more than I already did)
I said : Thank you and stopped answering.
He then told me he is willing to give me 20$ cash when we meet next. Only half of the 40$ i asked for ( I actually paid 23 buck but rounded it up to 40 LMAO )because I didn’t mention prior to that he had to pay for my uber ( is he stupid?)
I still haven’t replied back! I don’t think about seeing him again even if that means loosing 20bucks. I will consider that a lesson- an expensive lesson but a lesson still.
I wonder why he is so cheap because he does have money ( fact checked his job, linkedin, average government salary)
I am just mad I invested so much time reading about nuclear safety , behavioral changes and stalking him that long just to impress him and get nothing but a brunch back.
This was my first POT date ever and if they all end up like this- the bowl may not be for me. Smh
First you want to google the number using quotations as in “444-44-4444” - That will allow searches of all the variations of that number.
The searches should provide you with all the results were the number appears or is registered .
Spokeo is a golden mine. The service costs 0.99 the search or 7$ the month - it will allow you to reverse any number and find the name, address, criminal charges, property records ect.
The free option of Spokeo only gives you the carrier it is registered to, and the location of the user (which is sometimes all you need to back up someone’s story)
But if you want to go free - They are far better options
- White Pages : my favorite - it is a people and public record search. It allows a phone reverse search or simply a name search. It provides you with name , criminal records (as little as traffic ticket), employers, education, address (city-state), and relatives (if registered)
- Anywho: another alternative to White Pages with weekly updated database - same information provided.
-Www.addresses.com offers similar services
- Spydialer: one of my personal favorites. It allows reverse with cellphone names and even emails (you can use that option to see which other site the emails was linked with and find linkedin facebook ect) - Spydialer will also provide available pictures (another fact-check)
-ReversePhoneLookUp.com : it does not always come up with accurate results and in that case it will provide general location - call complaints and phone service.
While it works better with landlines than cells - it offers : name, location of number registration, email and owner’s address.
If none of these work - Social media is your best bet
- Facebook: simply type the number in the facebook search bar. If it associated to an account, the latter will pop up regardless of privacy settings or friends status (you don’t need to send them a friend request to view the profile to which the number is linked to)
Hope this helps.
If you have any other questions please feel free to ask me !
You were at a loss for words. The person standing in front of you was of uncanny resemblance to the boy you knew many years ago. It was a frightfully accurate mirror image, except this reflection of your past had much longer limbs and a slightly more defined physique…
But, even with the evidence standing stock-still in front of you, a large part of you was frozen in disbelief. This couldn’t be him. It just couldn’t be.
However, you couldn’t quite force yourself to turn away. Not for a second.
“Atsu… Atsushi?” His name fell
from your trembling mouth like a stone flung into calm water. Your voice was too quiet to be heard by anyone, even by yourself. Your eyes were almost as wide as his as you answered his shocked stare with a tearful one of your own, your throat clogged with suppressed emotion. Everything else became a foggy blur, a white noise like no other, and yet this boy was the only thing that had your full undivided attention.
Everything else had slowed down to a painful halt around you, and all you could do was stare.
The pale boy seemed to become even paler, his steadily moistening gaze never leaving your own. Even with your eyes locked and unmoving, you could also detect the smallest flutter of a smile forming on his mouth, and you absentmindedly noted that he appeared brighter, happier than before.
He was happier than you had ever thought him capable of being.
“… Are you…” He licked his lips, voice tight. “Are you really [Y/N]-san?”
Spent a few nights in the city with my SD. Had a few drinks. Went to a great off broadway show call #sellbuydate …i reccommend it …interesting futuristic take on sex work. Stayed at a nice hotel and pretty much enjoyed each others company. Had sushi at a nice upscale place and had some laughs. It has really become winter and i wasnt dressed for it. But i slayed in a lacy wine outfit.
Not much to talk about but i do want to talk about the other side of sugaring because i did experience it this weekend. And ive made a mistake of doing this because i have a big heart and i feel deeply for others.
I had a internal dilemma due to the fact that i am getting too fond of my SD. I mistake our arrangement for a real relationship sometimes. So when he talked to me about the issues we can encounter when traveling overseas because of our age differrence & arrangement. I got upset and cried a bit because i didnt want LawprofSD to see me as only a sb. I felt like we are more than that and he feels the same but the circumstances are what they are. I was intoxicated with some white wine just so u know. So i was emotionally fucked up. He expresses to me that no matter what he wantd to give me everything i desire, he wants me to finish school, be happy, & have a quality life even if he isnt in it. I had to leave the hotel room and take a walk to get my emotions in check.
I had to re assure myself that im in it for a good time and the allowance. I cant get my feelings caught up because this man is amazing to me.
So lastly i just want to say that its possible to get tangeled up but you have to catch yourself and realize what your really there for.
I’m so glad to have a day off on mondays! It’s not much to be free on
only this day, but therefore I enjoy it all the more.
Today the weather was very nice and Lee and I went out for a walk with Carl and Pete. Lee wanted to take some nice photos of the autmn city and the dogs wanted to have some fun in the park… Although the sun was shining, the air was quite cool. When we were outside for some hours, I became a little bit jealous, because everyone had fur in the face - except me!
Lee has a longer beard right now…and Carl and Pete don’t shave anyway. And I can’t grow a proper beard because of the play I have to do…poor me! :(
Poor you! I could knit you a scarf where you can bury your face in…
You can knit?
Nope, but I can learn it for you :D
XD I think it’s enough if I can bury my cold nose in your warm hands…:D
My conversation with Wine. Lmao the fact that I had a full on argument with this man about 40 dollars? Then he tried to whore-shame me talking about how other 20 women asked him for money? What do you think we in this for? LOL I have never had to ask a vanilla boy to pay for my uber fare when going on a date - let alone a 50+ years old man that makes a good 200k+
Anywho , I am over it! Btw : i will make sure to add him to the sugar black list of Established Men because I would not want any of the other babes to lose their time with him. He is far from what he pertains to be : Ultimate Salt!