do u think alex teases maggie about bonsai trees

“baby do you just like them because you’re similar?”

“what are you talking about danvers?”

“you know, you’re both the tiniest of your species”
The McElroys from My Brother, My Brother And Me talk dream projects and giant Scott Bakulas
For seven years now, brothers Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy have been dispensing terrible advice and excellent comedy as the hosts of the fan-beloved podcast My Brother, My Brother And Me. The nucleus of a small family empire of shows on the Maximum Fun podcasting network—including a Bachelor



For every single gift daddy, splenda or free vacay I’ve gone on (I’ve been on 3 this yr and was suppose to have one this weekend 😧😟🙁) this is the trap I use.

1) I casually throw out lingerie shopping for myself out there which of course will entice them. Note: I initially didn’t ask him for anything, just stated it would inevitably happen.

2) He bites…he wants to see. That’s when I ask if he’s buying it. Usually its a “yes” to which I’ll flirt back. In the rare occasion that it’s a “no”, I let him no that he shouldn’t even ask to see me in anything sexy if he’s not willing to buy me something sexy to wear. This usually turns a “no” into a “yes”.

3) I include him in the shopping. I send him photos of things I’m thinking about buying. If he starts to fantasize, I’ll slightly indulge him like “oh yea, I DO think my butt will look great in that…”

4) I up sale him. For example “oh yea, I DO think my butt will look great in that… Can’t you imagine me in lingerie and pearls/at dinner in nude heels and a form fitting dress with my lingerie peeking from underneath/ red lipstick and chanel?”

I’m creating an image for him that he thinks is based for his pleasure but already I’ve gone from just lingerie to pearls, dinner, shopping for shoes and dresses, makeup and perfume. And he doesn’t feel forced because he’s trying to bring to life the image I created for him.

Another trick could be to double up. Once you agree on a set or whatever tell him that you want to pick out another as a complete surprise for him and that he can’t see it until you wear it. Now you have two sets! (Assuming you have his card or he paypal you the money).

It starts small then you just add on a bit more every time. It helps if he believes You’re already accustomed to this treatment. If he thinks every man does this for you and that if he doesn’t do it, another will, And that he won’t get your time of day without it then he’ll more than likely get on board if he truly wants your attention. Btw of all the men I’ve used this on…. young vanillas are the easiest. Truly. Honestly.

When a man asks you about an ideal arrangement:

Well, good question. My ideal arrangement is where we are both comfortable with each other. You get a bit of what you want  and I get a bit of what I want. You get to be with a sexy, romantic, vibrant, mature, and (sexual girl) who’s also charismatic, and intelligent, etc and I get to be with a man who is willing to provide financial need in my life. I want to feel like a queen and a man who can invest in me is a keeper in my book. I am open to intimacy eventually. I am happy with per meet or monthly allowances. I do like cash though. I am happy per meet when we are platonic, and then when intimacy is involve and you see my sexual side, I am happy for a monthly allowance (of course money raised). I have been doing this for a good amount of time to know what I want. Per meet, I am totally comfortable of minimum _____. I would like to know if you are willing to let me see other men because if so, then monthly will just be doubled but if not monthly will be around ____. (Remember the more you invest in me, the more luxurious I can be for you and the more “prettier” I can be ;).

real quick head canons about maggies aunt

- she calls maggie every thursday “you can always come home” “im 30″ “it has not be 16 years has it…youre making me old” “you are old”

- maggies aunt is at most only a solid 15 years older, theres not much of an age gap between them but her aunt still was the most respectable parental figure maggies ever had

- maggies aunt keeps trying to get maggie to introduce to her alex??? she refuses?? and so she threatens to show up at national city and maggie tells her not to dare

- ( she does, at 830 in the morning with a text 30 minutes prior that maggie misses bc shes too busy kissing alex that says she just lands in national city )

- she tells the WORST stories of maggie and her crushes on girls when she was just a baby gay

- alex thinks her aunts adorable, she thinks it seven cuter when said aunt pulls maggie into a hug and kisses her head, and whispers the words “i am so glad you have found the love you deserve, you have no idea how much you deserve to surround yourself with it”

- alex tries to say they should invite her over for thanksgiving dinner and maggie shoots daggers at alex and she LAUGHS


Cold Open - My Brother, My Brother and Me - Seeso Original Series

I can’t stand a needy ass dude!! How in the hell am I suppose to have multiple boyfriends if ya’ll always need something?!