Congrats on your follower milestone my dear! You certainly deserve it 😘 For the rebelcaptain prompts, how about fake dating in a modern au?
IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE :D
Thank you so much Jen!!! (and I hope you like havin a laff bc I apparently went straight up comedy/fluff for this hahahahhahahaha)
That bitch was
heading her way and unless she did something stat, Jyn Erso may as well kiss
her miserable excuse for a life goodbye. She probably (100%) should not have had that second wine earlier, but her day had
rather called for it and naturally, it was hard to resist when you had good-for-nothing best friends in the background yelling over the pounding of
the bass, “So you got fired! Fucking drink, bitch, and you’ll forget all about
“Until I wake up
tomorrow with no job,” Jyn had pointed out earlier that evening.
tomorrow, this is now!” Bodhi had called out to her, before naturally getting
distracted by his newest piece of ‘mancake’ (who was admittedly kind of hot at
least this time, in a Californian surfer dude kind of way).
Hence the reason
she was now well on her way to Trolleyed Town, when JUST HER GODDAMN LUCK,
Queen McFuck Your Boyfriend showed up.
Somewhere up there
(or down there? She was casting a bit of judgement now) The Big G himself was
splitting a rib laughing at her.
slammed her glass down and turned to the first person she could see – a kind of
scruffy, yet not-un-handsome dark-haired bloke sat on the barstool next to her.
“We have to do something!”
The bloke ignored
“WHY AM I DOOMED
TO DIE OF PURE HUMILIATION?”
“I’m sorry–? Are
you talking to me?” the bloke finally turned.
“Finally! I am
graced with His Majesty’s presence!” Jyn would have curtseyed, if she weren’t
already sat down on her own bar stool and too worried about her balance should
she get off. “I literally have less than 30 seconds before McBitch shows her
face and I’m not at the point of literally running away yet, so you have to
“KEEP THE FUCK UP,
she slept with my boyfriend!” Jyn yelled.
High and Mighty Scruffy
Boi crinkled his nose as he glanced around in confusion. Maia (otherwise known as ‘McBitch’) had almost certainly spotted her at this point,
if the little wave was anything to go by. Damn her and her perfectly
straightened hair, deep tan and baby blues that she swore could rope in demons
if she truly put her talents to work. Not that Maia had ever lifted a manicured
finger for herself in her entire life. Scruffy Boi was eyeing her
appreciatively, so Jyn groaned and tugged on his shoulder.
“Do not be taken
in by the hotness,” she insisted. “She will roast your insides and eat you
“How could you
still be alive if she’s already roasted your insides?”
“SCRUFFY BOI, KEEP
UP,” she cried. “I cannot let her win!”
“Well, what the
hell do you want me to do about it?” Scruffy Boi asked, eyes slightly unfocused
as if this constant back and forth conversion was whooshing straight over his
head, along with her dignity and self-respect, particularly in the wake of what
she was about to say next. Did she have much choice?
She was already
“I want you to
No, she truly
didn’t wake up this morning thinking that she was going to end up here. Believe
it or not, but Jyn Erso usually lived a very quiet life! She lived alone, she
loved tea and snuggly blankets and occasionally entertained the odd guest
(which basically just meant Bodhi coming over and eating out her entire
fridge). She had done the crazy shit
already. She wasn’t 16 and on the streets anymore, drinking until 5am and
sleeping with Scott Melshi (now THERE was a mistake). Nopity nope, she was a
self-confessed grandma now, and she was totally ok with that! She only wanted
what everyone else in their late 20s wanted: a stable job and living without
the debilitating fear that she was going to die alone and in debt.
Of course McBitch
had to move in.
wasn’t quite sure what had come over her in asking this very random, very
bewildered (albiet very cute) guy to kiss her, but what could she say, she was
on a roll here. She knew it sounded ridiculous, even as the words were coming
out of her mouth, but she hadn’t stopped them. She knew that she didn’t live in
a romance novel like that line seemed to have apparently walked straight out
of. In fact, Jyn was 100% certain that he was about two seconds away from
telling her to fuck off, which would be fair. Honestly, since it was years ago
Jyn wasn’t really pissed about the whole ‘being cheated on’ thing anymore, it
was more the fact that McBitch seemed to think they were still BFFs for some
unholy reason (did ‘you slept with my
boyfriend and I hate you’ mean nothing?) so she would honestly just take
what she could get.
started laughing. He was shaking his head and as he drained the last of his
drink and Jyn sighed in exasperation.
“Fine, go on then.
Laugh it up, mate,” she said. “My life is now a sham, thanks to you! I hope you
between his laughing and her complaining, she had apparently failed to realise
that he had slipped off his bar stool and now stood in front of her. In fact,
she didn’t realise anything at all until he was cutting off her words, kissing
her with the kind of passion that can only come from third drinks and late
Well, holy shit.
The bar stool she
sat on gave her the added height she needed to comfortably reach his lips, and Jesus
Christ, what a pair of lips they were. She always liked to think that she’d
been not just kissed, but Kissed™ at least a fair few times throughout her
life, but apparently she was wrong. Scott Melshi had been an opening act. Scruffy
Boi was where it was at and she didn’t think, she only felt with a kind of
blind ohmygodohmygodohmygod panic.
Where was fucking Bodhi when she was the one finally being the wild one for a
change? Scruffy Boi gripped her hips in a way that made her stomach flip and
she separated her knees, drawing him in, dragging him closer –
“Oh my god, Jyn!
Haven’t seen you in forever – have I caught you at a bad time?”
Bitch, you can very well see that this is a
fucking bad time!
Jyn pulled away in
very un-fake irritation. She kept an arm slung around Scruffy Boi’s shoulders
and she turned to face McBitch. “Oh, Maia. You could not have turned up at a
worse time. How’s it going, girl?”
“Oh, so great,
thanks for asking,” Maia simpered
“Was there anything you actually wanted? ‘cause I’m kind of busy…”
She felt Scruffy Boi’s lips pressed firmly to her neck, travelling the
skin there and quite honestly, it was making it very difficult to think. He was
apparently taking her request to heart and Jyn noticed Maia’s eyes narrowing
slightly as she watched. Time to milk
this. “Hey, babe,” she nudged Scruffy’s Boi’s head with her own, making him
glance up. “This is Maia, we knew each other back in the day.”
“Oh hey, Cassian,”
he introduced himself. He pressed closer to Jyn, occupying her space with his
hands at her hips. “I’m the boyfriend.”
Yeah, you are.
“I didn’t even
know you were dating again!” Maia said in false happiness.
“Yes, this is
CASSIAN, my BOYFRIEND,” Jyn practically yelled. Quite frankly, her quota to
hold inane conversations had been used up and she made a point to turning back
to Scruffy Boi (wait, Cassian, of course
the guy’s name is Cassian, you never could choose a Peter or a John could you?).
She didn’t give him any warning when she kissed him this time, but she hoped to
god that he’d just roll with it and he did. They were probably way too
overly-enthusiastic, but there was just enough tongue to make her stomach churn
and she found her hands snaking up around his neck, into his hair.
It took several
minutes for Maia to finally get the hint and trill, “Um, byeeeee then!” before
flouncing off through the club.
Jyn hastily pulled
back from him, praying that her face wasn’t as red as it felt.
“Oh good god, thank you,” she breathed with relief.
“I – shit – I
mean,” he laughed nervously, stepping back out of her arms. “No problem.”
“I didn’t even say
– my name’s Jyn.”
reiterated for her. Bizarrely, he held out a hand for her to shake and she took
it. “Nice to meet you.”
“I feel like I’m
kind of owed an explanation for… well, whatever all that was,” Cassian pulled
back to wave his hand in the general direction that Maia had gone off to. “I
don’t know… did you want a drink or something?”
It only took her
about five seconds to make the decision.