scrolling past it is too hard

If you think you’re worthless, stop scrolling right now and read.

I’m writing this for a specific mutual, but it isn’t only true for one person, so read on.

You know those inspirational posts you see people reblog every day?

Stuff about people all throughout history who failed and went bankrupt and were depressed and were told they weren’t good enough - and yet somehow they rose above it and defied all those notions to become heroes and legends and history makers and culture movers. And the post always ends with “so don’t be hard on yourself when you mess up” and it’s all nice and sweet and pretty. Maybe you scroll past them. Maybe you hardly ever see them on your dash at all.

Maybe you’re among those who reblogs these posts.

But maybe every time you hit the reblog or the like button, your brain is whispering “this isn’t about you” and “yes people can do amazing things, but not you” and “ah yes amazing stories, too bad it will never happen to you” and you listen to these whisperings and you laugh and shake your head…

Because you know exactly where you stand: worthless. irredeemable. a loser. a lost cause.

Please.

Please.

Listen to me.

As your friend.

As a stranger who doesn’t know you. Who doesn’t have to know you, or your failings, or your depression, or your anxiety, or your embarrassments, or your deepest darkest most heinous crimes.

Stop.

Just stop.

Look up. Look around you. Open. Your. Eyes. Are they open? Good. Keep them open. Don’t ever close them again. See the world. See you: a human being, valid, flawed, journeying, changing, growing, scraping, failing, rising, a masterpiece that will never be made again.

You are beautiful. You who think you are overweight and lazy. You are beautiful. You who think you are stupid and uneducated. You are beautiful. You who think you are a loser, and amount to nothing. You are beautiful. You who bleed and ache and never rest. You are beautiful.

You have worth.

Want to know a secret? If you wake up in the morning and tell yourself you’re not going to amount to anything that day, then you aren’t going to. If you go to bed at night thinking nothing will change tomorrow, then you are going to change nothing.

Because you’ve resigned yourself to that lie. And it is a lie, friend. A straight-out, soul-condemning, out-of-the-pit, self-deprecating, self-pitying lie. A lie you don’t have to believe. A lie you should not believe.

If you stand in the corner and bow your head and stare at the ground, you’ve already lost the battle without fighting. This is a surrender in which there is no honor, and in it there is no hope.

Life isn’t easy, friend. Life isn’t fair. It’s hard. And getting things done is hard. Some days, just getting up out of bed is hard. Just breathing. Just doing homework. Just going to work. Just trying to keep the dishes and trash from overflowing.

But we do it anyway.

Why? Because there’s life to live. There are choices to be made. Jokes to laugh at. Awkward conversations to be had. Art to mess up and start over on. Jobs to work. Pizza to be eaten.

We do it anyway.

So guess what?

You do it anyway too.

Why? Because of this:

You are special.

Right now, this second, turn off the voice that hears these Disney-fied words and scoffs and ignores them. Listen.

There is not a human being who has ever lived or ever will live on this planet that is not important, that is not here for a reason. No life is worthless, and most certainly not yours. My God doesn’t make worthless things, and he doesn’t make mistakes. There are no extra pieces in this universe, no spare parts. He made you. And he made you for a purpose, and that purpose is not to sit in your room, afraid to try, afraid to love, afraid to hope, afraid to climb and fall and hurt and get back up again.

Want to know another secret? You aren’t alone. Every single human being in the history of everything has struggled with feeling worthless at some point in their life. Every single one. That is not a lie. Your feelings of worthlessness are not what is special about you. You are what is special about you. The God who created you is what is special about you.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you have failed to do, someone else has gone through worse. Sometimes, a lot worse.

Oh, now you feel invalidated. “Why can’t I just believe in myself? Other people have it worse, I shouldn’t complain, I should just try harder, but I know trying harder isn’t going to help, so what’s the point.”

Guess what?

Stop that too.

Stop it dead in its tracks.

Kill that thought. Every day. Every morning. Every minute it shows its ugly lying face. Kill it and put it to rest. Stack headstones on top of it and move away, far far way, friend.

Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know where you’ve been, but you don’t know where I’ve been either. Don’t ignore hope because you think it’s for other people. Don’t keep yourself from making an effort, and pushing yourself forward. Bury the lie. You have worth. You are loved. You are important. God does not make worthless things.

One of my favorite lyrics says “How does it end when the war that you’re in is just you against you against you? You’ve got to learn to love, learn to love your enemies too.”

Learn to love.

Your enemy.

Yourself.

Start learning to see you the way God sees you.

See you the way I see you.

Perfect.

Worthwhile.

Amazing.

Just at the very beginning.

Every single day you wake up is a brand new start.

A bright new chance. Every. Single. One. You will never stop getting chances for as long as you are here, so why dismiss them? Isn’t that the most beautiful thing there is? You get to keep trying. Every single day. You have the gift to go again, try again, start again, live again, breathe again, hope again.

Guess what. When the morning is wasted, the afternoon is still there. When the afternoon is wasted, the evening is still there. When the evening is wasted, the night is still there. And then morning comes again.

So the next time you see a motivational post, an inspiring reblog, a story about how someone overcame something horrible, and turned it into something amazing, look long and hard and take courage, find hope in that. Stop dismissing it as being from a universe you have no part in. Stop putting yourself to that measuring stick and turning away because you’re not there yet.

You’re looking at the end result. At some point, they were standing in your shoes. They couldn’t see the end. They couldn’t see what they might or might not amount to. They had no idea, just like you now. Just exactly like you.

Hope, my friend. Every time you start to think “I can/will never” do this or that or amount to anything or accomplish anything… Hope. Stop those thoughts immediately. Kill them. Bury them. Never stop burying them. They are lies and you are better than them.

Drive them out. Open your eyes. Look around. Pick yourself up. Brush away the tears. “I will try. My God doesn’t make worthless things, so I am not worthless. My God does not create without meaning, so I have meaning. I am here for a reason. Today I will live to find out what that reason is for today. And tomorrow I will hope again.”

Life is hard, my friend. Stop beating yourself up. You are worth more and capable of more than you can ever imagine or hope or dream. Don’t let your past or present failures stop you or beat you down. Keep going, keep hoping, keep killing the lies. You are bigger than them, you go beyond them. And God is greater, and he knows your heart. Trust him. Wake up. Open your eyes. Move forward. Keep your eyes open.



“You’ve got all that emotion that’s heaving like an ocean
And you’re drowning in a deep, dark well
I can hear it in your voice that if you only had a choice
You would rather be anyone else

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He made your precious heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

I know it’s hard to hear it when that anger in your spirit
Is pointed like an arrow at your chest
When the voices in your mind are anything but kind
And you can’t believe your Father knows best

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He’s shaping your heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Well how does it end when the war that you’re in
Is just you against you against you
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

You can’t expect to be perfect
It’s a fight you’ve gotta forfeit
You belong to me whatever you do
So lay down your weapon, darling
Take a deep breath and believe that I love you

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

Please don't scroll past..

Hey, want a little bit of your attention to talk about a thing that bothers me..
Please don’t scroll past a post, if someone is going through hard times.
Do not ignore it if you see that person is depressed / stressed / anxious / feeling weak and hopeless / is talking about self-harming or suicide, etc.
Even if you don’t know that person, if you had never interacted or if you’re not even following each other, do not leave them alone.
Some people find it really hard to open up or to express their feelings. They might don’t have a close person to share bothers with or might be too afraid to talk about it with them. So, the fact that they are telling about their problems to bunch of strangers online, in my opinion, means that they are really going through hard times and all they want is some support.
If you see one of these posts, please take few minutes to send that person a nice message or ask (no matter with anon or not). Write some encouraging words, give them advice or suggest your help if you can. Anything fits - even if it’s a message saying ‘Stay strong.’ One small message, can make someone’s day a hundred times better.
It just hurts to see when people are opening up and expressing their feelings, but are simply getting ignored. In these cases, people are almost never asking for help or support, but are always secretly hoping for it. Many post it thinking ‘Oh no one cares anyway’ and not getting any feedback just fuels their depressive thoughts/frustration/thinking that they are waste of space and stuff like that.
Please do not ignore posts like that. A small interaction can give person hope, make them smile through tears, give them strength to hold on or even save their life.
Do not scroll past.

Smudged Whiskers

Summary: While filming Phil is not on Fire, Dan slips and reads a romantic question. Not knowing that Phil shares his feelings with him, he tries to avert what he had said, but Phil won’t ignore it.

Genre: Fluff, Friends to Boyfriends

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1,145


“Make a stupid face!” Phil screeched, sounding vaguely like a mouse. Dan obliged and contorted his face in a way that he never thought possible, minding not to smear the sharpie on his nose and cheeks. It was quite entertaining, but Dan knew it would never make the cut. It was too similar to the “questions” they had answered in past years.

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anonymous asked:

i'm like 100% certain you've talked about your characterization of the landgraabs but this is an ask from somebody who hasn't been there for that asking you to talk about your characterization of the landgraabs because i love them ;_;

i haven’t really gone into it so no worries!! but if u love them u might not like my interpretations tbh…. but that’s the beauty of townies…. we’re all given the same information and yet we all come up with different things! anyway, this is gonna be solely based off their sims 4 selves

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re·al·i·za·tion

noun

The moment of sudden clarity when feelings are finally recognized, or are made aware for the first time.

It hit you one late night at the library while you were cramming for and crying over midterms along with the other student zombie population. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary - you were in your regular spot as per usual, inked paper and random notes scattered all around you, the dimming screen of your laptop reflected in your glasses, hair haphazardly pulled back and out of your face. And he was there with you, as per usual, his own laptop illuminating the serious and focused look on his face as he rested his chin on one propped hand while the other worked hard to scroll down his screen on his keyboard. Just two university students, two dormmates, two friends, studying at the library. The only difference between you two? He wasn’t studying - oh, no - you knew from the last time you got up and walked past him that he definitely not studying. 

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things that are still laced with you:

1) my playlists. I have so many songs written in notebooks and saved on my computer that remind me of your brown eyes or your laugh. they all have our songs in them, the ones we shared with each other and the ones we found together. sometimes when I feel empty, i’ll listen to them and let myself cry, just so at least my chest is filled with sadness than nothing at all.


2) my sweaters. every time I slip one over my head I can feel your arms and a whisper as light as air. you always said I looked particularly adorable in those hoodies, the way they were too long for my arms and how they hung loose past my hips. they still smell like you from when it was raining too hard and we’d cuddle to pass the cold. i’m just afraid that my sweaters will always feel like you, and nothing else.


3) my photo gallery. I still have the pictures we took on dates and the selfies we took at parties, still high off of the adrenaline and laughter. they come in groups, taking stabs at my heart as I scroll past them in my photos, I can’t bring myself  to delete them, they make me too happy before my ribs start to crack. I wonder if you’ve already deleted them off of your phone.


4) the box in my drawer. we both away went to opposites ends of the country, and we were so in love that we needed a way to hang onto each other. we wrote to each other in notebooks to give at the end of the ten days. we never got around to exchanging them so the wrinkled pages are sitting in an empty chocolate box you got me for Valentine’s Day last year in my desk drawer. The pins and figurines you gave me as presents sit there as well, too painful to look at yet to beautiful to throw away.

—  things that are still laced with you

anonymous asked:

Hi! Could I please get some headcanons on the RFA + V + Saeran finding out MC does martial arts? (On a side note: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!)

A/N: fun fact i was looking for this request to answer it and scrolled past it multiple times i wAS LOOKING FOR 10 MINUTES (ALSO HAPPY LATE HOLIDAYS IM SORRY ILY) (ALSO I DON’T PARTICIPATE IN MARTIAL ARTS SOOOO) ~Admin 404

*YOOSUNG:

           -He had no idea you did martial arts

           -Until one day you told him you were heading to the gym and!!!

           -Hello!!! MC!!! Not letting you go alone, I’m coming too

           - too many pervs at the gym, i’ll protect you

           -And! This is his chance to finally get out and exercise instead of playing LOLOL all the time

           -That being said, it was so hard to keep up with you???

           -You set up a practice dummy and started to throw a few strikes at it and he was amazed at how quick you were??

           -You practiced (and landed) a front elbow strike on the practice dummy, and it flew to the ground

           -It made him jump!!!! He had watched a martial arts club at his school practice once but decided not to join because he wouldn’t be able to do it himself (hitting people isn’t on his agenda)

           -So he recognized the moves but!!! HE HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE CAPABLE OF THAT? THAT’S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING MC YOU’RE SO BADASS??


*ZEN:

           -The both of you work out together

           -But it’s usually the standard things, like running, weight lifting, things of that sort

           -But you needed to practice some moves!

           -So you suggest working out separately this time!

           - GASPS AND IS IMMEDIATELY OFFENDED

           -MC!!! I’ll do whatever workout you want to do, it’s okay, I can take it!

           -He kept bragging about how strong he is, and whatever you had in mind, he’ll be fine

           -He did not think that the moment you lifted him over your shoulders for a take down

           - holY SHIT, MC???? WHAT THE FUCK

           -He just laid on the floor for a good 10 minutes, wondering how he never noticed you knew martial arts. And wondering how the hell you could take him down that easily. mC TEACH ME YOUR WAYS, STAT


*JAEHEE:

           -Yo, both of you participate in martial arts, how dope

           -She does Judo!!!! So she’d recognize any moves you throw out in front of her

           -But, you don’t even have to do a big reveal! She mention she does judo, you mention you also participate in martial arts

           -It’s all good!!

           -She would LOVE to watch a match or two of yours

           -Never, EVER spar against you though

           -She could never hurt her MC like that!!! Even if it was agreed on!!

           -She did attend a match though, and watched as you and your opponent went head to head

           -Starts calling out moves for you to use!!! Kick!! Strike!!! JOINT LOCK!!!

           - has to fight security to stay inside because she got too excited watching you

*JUMIN:

           -He kind of stumbled upon it on accident

           -He couldn’t figure out where some of his body guards kept getting black eyes and bruises from?

           -When asked, they refused to explain what happened

           -But one day, he came home early and heard fighting in his penthouse?

           -What in the world???

           -Wait…. isn’t MC home? Where are the body guards? Are yoU OKAY? MC I’M COMING

           -But when he busted the door open, though, he found all his body guards?

           -Why in the woRLD WERE THE RUSHING AT YOU WHAT IS HAPPENING

           -One flew to the floor, then another, then another. He stood in silence because he couldn’t think of what else to do? He watched until he could see you in the middle of it all, striking and throwing them around

           -That’s when it clicked that you were advanced in martial arts!!! Once the final body guard was groaning on the ground, his applause made you jump. While he was in awe of your skills, he had to remind you of the gym down stairs, and promise to hire people more qualified to spar with you because you can’t keep beating up his body guards like this MC, please

*SAEYOUNG:

           -He knows a few moves as well because he was an agent

           -But never even considered you might know a few moves?

           -The two of you were wrestling around on the floor in the living room

           -It had gone a little too far though, and he tossed you across the room

           -“MC oh my god I’m so sorry are you okay?!”

           -You immediately got up and charged him

           -Out of instinct, he almost tossed you over his shoulder again

           -But this time, you were prepared and held on, getting him in a choke hold, dropping the both of you to the floor

           -W h a t t h e f u c k MC WHAT IN THE WORLD

           -You let go and apologize immediately but!!! He’s so excited??? wink wonk He wants you to teach him some of those moves!!!! He needs to know!!!

*V:

           -You’re usually really sweet and quiet, so he never suspected you’d be into something like martial arts

           -He called and asked you if you wanted to go on a photo shoot with him, because it was so nice outside!

           -Sadly, you had to decline because you were wrapped up in something

           -“Oh? Do you need help with anything, MC?” no cutie but thank you

           -You decided to invite him to your practice! But refused to tell him what it was for

           -He thought it was going to be something sweet and graceful, just like you!

           -Lowkey hyped because whAT IF YOU DO BALLET??? MC THAT’S SO GRACEUL, ALL OF THE BEAUTIFUL ACTION SHOTS, HE CAN HARDLY CONTAIN HIMSELF

           -Except when he walked in, he heard a thud and looked over to see someone falling to the ground

           -Is…is this martial arts? MC, are you just volunteering here???? MC…? MC?!

           -Watched as your turn came up and you threw out a few strikes here and there. It wasn’t what he expected but? You still looked incredibly graceful. He got THE BEST action shot of you roundhouse kicking your opponent, it was right as your foot connected and hE LOVES IT SO MUCH MC HE’S COMING WITH YOU EACH AND EVERY TIME YOU CAN’T STOP HIM

*SAERAN:

           -He likes to take you out on dates and things of that sort at night

           -There’s less people, pretty lights, and it’s quiet

           -He loves it so much, but one thing he does not like are the annoying, creepy people that come out at night

           -He can protect you though, MC, it’s no problem!

           -He just hopes he isn’t going to have to

           -Only left for a moment to get the two a drink! When he came back, some guy was way too close to you?

           -Death Glare: Activated. 500% ready to throw the drinks down and kick some ass, but??

           -All of a sudden, the guy gets kneed in the gut, then kicked in the face?? By YOU???

           -He watched as the guy fell to the ground, almost as if it was slow motion. Snapped out of it quickly though, and went to make sure you were okay!!! Immediately takes you very far away from that guy. Then he completely checks you over, the moment he knows you’re okay he couldn’t hold back the laugh he had. You??? Knew martial arts??? You completely DROPPED that guy, MC!!! That’s amazing!! He’s so proud of you!

           - that’s right, don’t fuck with my MC

IV. King [M]

Originally posted by yoonkooks

NamjoonxReader, 4508 words, smut

I. Ace | II. Joker | III. Queen


Jin could feel the heat radiating from the pavement underneath his feet, the wind from the ocean doing little to make the temperatures any more bearable. He was reminded of Abu Dhabi and the relentless desert sun and the flickering air on the race track. However, compared to Abu Dhabi, his outfit today was a lot more casual – T-shirt and shorts – in order to blend in with the masses of kids, families, and tourists swarming the beach of Haeundae.

He stopped when the phone in his pocket started to ring and stepped off to the side, his feet immediately sinking into soft, white sand.

“Yes?”

“Where are you?”

Jin adjusted his sunglasses and looked around as if to confirm his location first. “Busan.”

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Scrolling through my dashboard and seeing all these amazing Inuyasha fanarts and gifs, reading these well-written fanfictions with believable plots that bring the characters to life, and all these analyses that make me understand the depth and true beauty of Inuyasha’s story… I’m just in awe. Too many talented people in this fandom. It’s a shame, I don’t get to  contribute anything. Let me wholeheartedly appreciate all your hard work. Everyone deserves a pat on the back :’)

Tumblr threw open its gates in 2007, proclaiming itself “The easiest way to blog.” And it was the easiest way to blog, but something was missing. With the arrival of a new year, we’ve taken the time to do some soul-searching. That’s when it hit us. The idea at the core of blogging. Sticky avatars.

Sticky avatars stay next to a post while you scroll past it. No matter how long a post is, you’ll always know who wrote it. Can we just say: wow? 

Here at Tumblr, we think of ourselves as storytellers. The best stories are the simplest ones, and few stories are as simple as sticky avatars. Consider its shape: a simple square. Strong, minimal, timeless. Never before has simplicity soared so high, or stuck so hard. 

It’s inspiring and delightful. But it’s bigger than that, too. Let’s step back for a moment and consider the stickiness of ordinary things: glue, tape, a spider’s web. Even tar. We’ve stuck with them, and they’ve stuck to us. What does stickiness tell us about the human condition?

We stand on the shoulders of giants

Humans have, for millennia, sought stickiness in their lives. Outward from the cradle of civilization, we have spread across the Earth, and we have stuck firmly to its surface. The monoliths of Stonehenge were stuck into the ground nearly five thousand years ago, and they remain stuck there today. Napoleon, upon his exile to Elba, is said to have remarked, “Now I am stuck.”

Even our classical mythologies are rife with tales of stickiness. Prometheus created humans not from slick marble, but out of sticky clay. According to the Cherokee, a water beetle descended from the sky realm to explore the realm of seawater. Finding no place to rest, he dove deep and carried up sticky mud from the ocean floor. This mud became the very Earth we stand on. 

Thor, the Norse god of thunder, famously found himself with a rock stuck in his head after a duel with the drunk giant Hrungnir. Today, we carry the memory of that god in our own “sticky heads.” Sticky avatars.

Not only does humanity crave stickiness, but we are each sticky in our own individual way. Some of us come from sticky places, and some of us are from the smooth expanses in between. And yet, no matter the distance between us, we are united by a powerfully adhesive belief—the belief that humanity’s stickiness is not yet complete.

As Galileo Galilei once suggested: “Stick to what is yet adhesive, and make adhesive what is not yet sticky.” 

We are sticky at our core

The word “stick” shares an Indo-European root with the Latin instigare—to spur on. At Tumblr, we are always spurring ourselves on. We are obsessed with progress, and even as we stick in place, we propel ourselves forever forward.

Webster’s Dictionary defines “sticky” as, “having a substance (such as glue or honey) on it that things easily attach to,” and, “tending to have things attach to it,” and, “unpleasantly warm and humid.”

Some will say we’ve gone too far—that we are unpleasantly warm and humid. We say: how humid can we get?

Or should we say…how sticky can we be? 

For only by gluing ourselves to our dreams can we hope to stick to the boundless cosmos. The infinite scroll of the universe stretches up to the heavens and down to the earth. Today, we affix ourselves to the celestial firmament. Today, we introduce sticky avatars.

We are bound together by a common glue

As you scroll through your dashboard, witness your loved ones as they stick to the sky. This is the next evolution of Tumblr. And of humankind. 

Stickiness is cause for hope. The future will be stickier than it is today, and we should welcome our gummy destiny with bright smiles and open arms. Some people will fear change, but in time, all will come to love the stickiness that envelopes them. 

We see that Stickiness is our past and Stickiness is our destiny. Stickiness has always been and will always be. It was we who unstuck ourselves from the flypaper of a promised paradise and stumbled errant onto the polished path of devilry. But even the smoothest paths will eventually lead back to the nectar-filled swamps of pure stickiness. And where the sticky swamps end, the gooey horizon begins. At last: a truly super glue squirted infinitely in all directions, binding all of humankind together. 

Join us today as Tumblr secures the future of humanity. This is our gift to Earth—one final gift before we return to our celestial form and take our place among the stars, where we shall burn brightly for the next ten billion years. We will never forget what you mortals have shown us.

Let now the Stickening commence.

WARNING: This post mentions self harm. If this is not your cup of tea, then please kindly scroll past it. Thank you!

Hello kind anon (omg you called me darling ; - ; ) Holy cow, you went through ALL of my posts? You’re too kind! <3 Thank you so much for requesting and I hope you enjoy!


Jin: If you’re that uncomfortable with them, then I can possibly make you a homemade remedy. I just want you to be happy with yourself.

Originally posted by syuub

Suga: Don’t be ashamed of them. You’ve passed the hard part which was picking yourself up and moving on.

Originally posted by yoongi-min

Jimin: *traces them and places kisses on them* They don’t change you in any way. 

Originally posted by taestylips

V: You don’t like them? I don’t really like the two moles on my arm, but I can make an elephant!

Originally posted by busvn

J-Hope: That’s all over with! I want to see you smiling!

Originally posted by 94-02-18

Rap Monster: You were probably going through a lot at the time and I want you to know that you won’t have to go through anything alone anymore. I hope that you’ve recovered well since then. 

Originally posted by kimagineoutfits

Jungkook: I’m insecure about a lot of things! There’s this one picture that was taken of me during a photo shoot. My hair stylist really messed up my hair that day, gelling my hair to one side and curling the other. It’s probably a meme or something by now. 

Originally posted by k-pop-is-my-narcotic

Alright, one more thing and then I am done with this whole thing.

I think we have somehow forgotten that this all is just for fun.

FUN.

I am not a mean-spirited person. Like at all. I don’t make it a habit of poking fun of people. But I think this whole thing is being blown way out of proportion. It’s being taken way too seriously. While I do regret even saying anything at all now and should have just scrolled past that post all together, in no way was I trying to be malicious to ANYONE. It was supposed to be funny. But I guess tone is just something that it really hard to convey online without tacking an ‘lol’ or ‘XD’ at the end on everything that is supposed to just be a joke. That’s all this all is. A joke, people.

So, yes. I do apologize to anyone whose feelings I may have actually hurt. Next time I’ll know better and it’s probably best to just keep my mouth shut and stay in my own lane. I’m not even really active in this fandom right now and I really don’t see any reason to come back to it right now. Maybe when we can all start having fun again and stop being at each other’s throats on stuff that, when it comes down to, doesn’t even matter in the end.

None of this should matter. Or be taken so seriously that I feel guilty enough to physically write out an apology because I can’t live with the guilt that I may have hurt someone else’s feelings. That’s not how I roll. I am just here to draw, make friends and really bad jokes.

I am not going to blame anyone should they feel the need to unfollow me. I really don’t care, they can if they want to, if they feel like anything I have done or said was offensive. I’m also not going to block anyone should they feel like they want to have a civil discussion about this. Please keep it civil, otherwise I will ignore and block. I don’t want to lose anymore friends over petty reasons like this. I am kind of done with pettiness over the course of my time on this site. I am having way too much fun with what I am doing now to get derailed again over something like this. 

And now I am done. I am going to attempt to get on with the rest of my day and enjoy myself. Have a good one~ 

helpme-imgay  asked:

Blue because it's mine!

what do you do when you’re sad? what are some things you do when you can’t sleep? what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? what kind of covers do you have on your bed? who is the last person you told a secret to?

When I’m sad (which is most of the time), I cry. Like, a lot. I just sorta mope around and think about not existing. I dunno y'all it’s not cute. I like to listen to music to try and block out the negative talking in my head, ya know? Drawing and writing help me get past hating the world and myself as much, too.

I have an extremely hard time falling asleep, so I usually scroll through Tumblr, read fanfics (yes I am ashamed), watch YouTube, Netflix, half-assed attempts to masterbate (I’m not ashamed of that one), and try to talk to people to keep my mind from running off into Paranoia Land.

Best non-romantic night?? Seeing Frank Iero in concert on my birthday (April 30th). It was so amazing and I’ll cherish it for as long as I live.

On my bed, I have dark purple sheets, a butter-yellow comforter, and white pillows with pale yellow stripes and a purple patterned blankie over it all.

I probably told Lauryn (hey that’s you!) a secret, but I can’t remember what it would have been.

Thank you buddy ❤️

Hey everyone!  I’ve decided to turn my blog to selective and private.   also, I am going to unfollow people who I don’t rp with anymore … it’s not you I swear.   but I want my dash clean and easy to scroll over  /my fucking finger hurt from scrolling down the dash/   also i don’t see our characters interact.    dean is hard son o’ bitch to please.   even if we plot a relationship between our muses and decide to let them be friendly to each other.  one way or another dean will hurt yours physically or mentally.   I lost muse several times for the past three months all because of this.  /following too many blogs and stress myself over pointless interaction/

as usual i am thinking too hard about lapidot and the subtle hints in canon towards positive development. major su spoilers from the french leaks (barn mates / hit the diamond) below. scroll past if you don’t want to see!

whether you ship it or not you have to admit there’s some serious character development that happened in the span of just one episode. it’s debatable whether the current development is intended to point towards hints of romance, but regardless, i think my prediction of peridot being the key to lapises redemption is turning out pretty spot on. i believe future episodes will show the positive influences more clearly. for now, it’s just been subtle:

yes, peridot flirted like an awkward teenager and lapis blushed for the first time - that part’s obvious enough. but that’s not what makes lapidot viable. that’s not exactly how relationships develop. it’s cute, and as a lapidot fan i totally freaked out. but listen! there’s more happening than just that.

what’s more important is that peridot opened up about her past, let out her genuine feelings and reached out a hand of caring because she knew she was the only one who could relate to lapis. that’s a huge step up in maturity for peridot, and it really shows how genuinely she’s trying to change. it’s hard to imagine the peridot from just a few episodes ago doing this. i believe it’s only because of the events of gem drill that she realized the importance of this gesture. steven wasn’t able to explain it to her, this time. she really had to feel it.

lapis, of course, wasn’t initially enthused. she had every right to be suspicious and cranky, as everyone else in her life (barring steven) wound up betraying her. that’s a pretty rational reason to be upset! that said, her initial anger was nothing more than misunderstanding and stubbornness: she had the proof that peridot had changed, but she wasn’t thinking logically enough to absorb the information. she didn’t want to. she let her emotions get the best of her and so, she snapped at peridot. she just wanted to be angry because it was easier than facing her past and getting hurt again.

it was only when the homeworld ship arrived that lapis had a moment of reflection on herself, instead of how much she hated everyone else. she stepped up to protect peridot, not just appease her. that, too, is a major step up in maturity.

notably, she’s still pretty cranky come hit the diamond. she’s had barely any time to adjust and recover. even garnet noted that she required a long recovery time, beyond just physically. however, it seems like, with the advent of the ‘steven floats’ episode that the two of them stayed behind in the barn - when the episodes release in the US in their proper order i think we will start to see lapis being a little less stubborn and peridot being a little more understanding.

a few people have noted that peridot didn’t yet give a real apology to lapis. i do think that’s significant, and will likely crop up later when lapis learns the importance of forgiveness. real forgiveness, not just “I’ll deal with you because I have no other options.”

they’re learning from each other in such significant, but indirect ways. peridot is helping lapis to be more grounded, and lapis is teaching peridot to be more in touch with her emotions. it’s really nice.

Webcomics, Tumblr, & You: How to Manage a Webcomic on Tumblr by an Avid Reader

I follow a lot of webcomics on Tumblr and I’ve encountered a variety of blog management practices that creators employ to run their Tumblr show. Some great, some good, some not so much. Content aside, I think there are a handful of things that every creator should keep in mind when choosing Tumblr to host or promote their webcomic. This is from my perspective as an avid reader and a long-time Tumblr user. Also as someone who is mildly obsessed with organization (personally and professionally), has spent years—decades?—in customer service, and likes to see people succeed.

This is by no means exhaustive, just the basics: Tags, Posts, The Blog, External Hosting, Etc.

Keep reading

pokestine replied to your post “When you’re trying to find fic for a specific kink and you’re slowly…”

What are you looking for? I might be able to help

Bloodplay rn, but mostly it’s a question of trying to find fics with familiar characters and the right vibe. A lot of them lean too hard into dub/noncon for me, or they’ve got weird “one character is doing this to please the other please love me please love me” sort of vibes. Or they’re tagged bloodplay for background bloodstuff.

Whereas I’m looking for like… violence and bliss and great character dynamics. It’s not hard to find though really (unless bloodplay has a secret Weird Name im not searching for? maybe i could go through the gore/guro tags…) SPN has a fair amount if I’m willing to scroll past a lot of fics I don’t want.

Also this claire temple/matt murdock fic with a domme claire was great http://archiveofourown.org/works/4031911 shout out to @saathi1013 for that.

Catching Them All.

I wrote this especially for @h4nnibalism​ who asked for a “Pokemon Go” ficlet.

((My apologies for any inaccuracies. I don’t play this game and everything I have learned is via third parties and/or Google.))  



Will looked up from his book as he heard the scurry of several padded feet running down the hallway. They were followed moments later by Hannibal with his phone in hand.  

“Will, I’m just taking the dogs for a walk, we will be back in half an hour…perhaps an hour.” Hannibal took the personalised leashes off their hooks in the hallway. 

“This is the third walk you’ve taken them on today and we haven’t even had lunch yet.” Will closed the book and set it aside. 

“There is a Chansey in the area. It’s proving rather difficult to catch.” Hannibal looked far too serious as he spoke. “However I have more pokemon balls now and I’m ready to hunt him down.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Will bit his lip to stop himself from laughing too hard. This game was getting out of control. Hannibal had downloaded it several days earlier out of ‘curiosity’. He had barely stopped staring at the screen since. “The dogs have been on dozens of walks in the past three days Hannibal. You’re spoiling them.” 

“The walks are good for them. It helps them use up all that pent up energy.” Hannibal scrolled across his phone. “Besides, I have another three miles to walk to hatch this egg. I’m hoping it’s a Lapras. That last egg with a Psyduck was rather disappointing.” 

“I don’t even know what half of those words mean!.” Will shook his head, wondering when their life had dissolved into cartoon characters on a screen.” 

“They are characters from the game. A Lapras isn’t easy to come by around here, we don’t live near water.” Hannibal gave another glance at the screen. “No Pokemon within reaching distance.” he pushed his phone into his pocket. “I was going to suggest a trip to the coast this weekend….unless this egg hatches into a Lapras in which case I might suggest a weekend away elsewhere. Perhaps somewhere they have industrial sites or power plants.” 

“What Pokemon lives there?” Will closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

“A Magnemite. Quite rare, despite hatching from five kilometre eggs.”    

“This is making me miss discussions about snail farms.” Will muttered. 

“You said I needed something else to focus on Will that didn’t involve dismemberment. I should think you would be pleased with my latest endeavour. I’ve collected 49 Pokemon in 3 days, I’m well on my way to ‘catching them all.’ as their phrase goes.”  

Will gave him a slow clap. “Congratulations!”

“I do not appreciate the sarcasm my little mongoose. It sounds easier than what it is. They give you the first few easily to act as a lure. It gets much more difficult as the game continues.”    

“No doubt.” the sarcasm almost dripped from his tone. “I thought you were working on your bonsai trees. Do I even have to ask what you have been doing for the past two and a half hours?” 

“I did work on my bonsai for sometime however while I was pruning them, I discovered a Dratini. He was sitting right on the Hornbeem and Beech.” He took his phone out again and quickly scrolled through the album. “I took a photo of him. He was right there in the conservatory.” 

“You know he wasn’t really there, don’t you Hannibal?” Will looked concerned. 

“Of course he wasn’t really in the greenhouse Will.” Hannibal shook his head,  his tone exasperated. “He lives in my phone.” 

“I’m dying.” Will burried his head in his hands. 

“We’re all dying Will. What’s important is to use the time that we have available to us.” Hannibal slipped the phone back into his pocket. “After I caught the Dratini, I knew I needed to get serious about searching for this Chansey. I’ve spent sometime researching online about different breeds and where to find them.” 

“Hannibal, I think your obsession is getting a little out of control.” Will spoke gently. 

“When do my interests ever become obsessions Will?”  he looked insulted

“Absolutely never darling.” Will snorted. “You’ve never been obsessed with anything in your life.” 

“Thank you. There is nothing wrong with having a healthy interest in new experiences. I’am merely fascinated by the driving psychological need to ‘catch them all.’ It’s quite exhilarating when you manage to trap one.”   

“You used to say that about our victims.” Will stood and stretched. “Maybe we need to go out and hunt.” 

“I just told you Will, that’s what I’m going to do right now. I’m hunting for a Chansey. You have to pay attention.” Hannibal sighed heavily. 

“People Hannibal. I’m talking about hunting people.” Will snapped before he saw the humour and laughed as he walked toward him. 

“Relax my little murder muffin. You told me to behave myself and I have found myself a new hobby. Temporarily of course. We shall be preparing a special dinner together before too long.” he kissed Wills cheek gently. 

“I’m already looking forward to it.” Will nuzzled into his touch. 

“As am I.” Hannibal smiled and kissed the top of Wills head. “In the meantime, I need to find a pokestop on the walk. I need more pokeballs. I wasted far too many of them on trying to catch that Vupix this morning but it reminded me of Phency here.” He leaned down to give the tiny papillon a scratch behind the ears. She eagerly lapped up the attention. “Isn’t that right beautiful angel?”

“I can’t believe you named her after Angel Dust.” Will shook his head but smiled at the affection Hannibal gave their collection of strays. 

“What would you have preferred to call her? Buffy?” Hannibal looked briefly horrified before his phone vibrated and his attention was quickly pulled away. He sighed heavily looking at the screen, mild disappointment on his face. “I already have caught twenty Rattatas. I’m not wasting any further balls on you. I don’t find you that interesting. I have a Chansey to catch” 

“I’m living in the twilight zone.” Will muttered to himself. “Let me get my coat.” 

“You wish to join me?” Hannibal smiled as he snapped the leashes on the dogs that were scrambling around his legs. 

“Of course.” Will gave a nod and a smile back. “I would never send you out hunting alone.”

~~~~~~~~~

Recently, I’ve been seeing these posts about what other INFPs post. They’re basically saying that young people who have recently discovered that they are also INFP come on and see mostly sad and somber posts think that there’s all there is too it. The posts typically encourage others to post about the better sides of INFP so the new people aren’t discouraged or use it as an excuse to not try or fight harder to be happier. I agree with these posts…to a point. I completely see the point that’s trying to be made but at the same time I disagree with it. One of the biggest things I’ve noticed about a lot of fellow INFPs is that we tend to not be very emotionally open (a nice way of saying that) when it comes to other people. We hide our real feelings and concerns and stack them inside until they just come out in an unfortunate way or stay unhealthily buried. We, at least I and some others I know, don’t want to burden those around us with our problems when we know they have their own problems to deal with. So that’s a lot of pre information but I promise I’m getting to my main point. We like this ability to have anonymity to talk about these thoughts and feelings. This way we can be completely honest about everything without that guilt and worry of bothering others, of watching what comes out of our mouths. It’s a best of both worlds to some of us, in a sense. So like I said, I can see what those post meant, there are a lot of times where we’re happy and have thoughts and ideas along those likes, but those are the things we are fine with sharing with anyone, it won’t be a burden to them. Here, we don’t have to worry about people telling us that what we’re saying is too sad, or too introverted, or blah, blah, blah. All the stuff we get sick of hearing. Here, if someone doesn’t like what we have to say, they most likely ignore it and just move past. It’s where people can see that they aren’t alone in their thoughts, they aren’t as isolated as they thought. They’re able to find people who are like them, which is a hard thing to do sometimes. You see the support and care and the nice side of the INFPs though this connection and those pop up as well. When I’m scrolling through, I see both sides, and I understand both sides. I just don’t want anyone to try and change their personality on here like they sometimes feel they have to in other areas of their life. Be yourself, the wonderful person that you are will be shown that way. I’m not sure how well I got my point across since I’m not always that great at words. Hopefully it makes sense to some people and I didn’t offend anyone along the ride.