TECHNICIAN: “How do I fix it?”

CUSTOMER: “You’re asking me?”

TECHNICIAN: “I’m asking you, how do I fix it?”

CUSTOMER: “How do I fix it?”

TECHNICIAN: “Yeah. How. Do. I. Fix. It?”

CUSTOMER: “Why you gotta be like that?”

TECHNICIAN: “Like what?”

CUSTOMER: “Nevermind.”

TECHNICIAN: “Is it making a funny noise?”

CUSTOMER: “Funny is subjective.”

—  The David Mamet Appliance Center as imagined by Peter McCleery

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I know that this won’t hurt one day. I know that heartbreak isn’t forever. I know that this all just takes time and that in a year none of it will matter to me at all.

But for right now, in this moment, it hurts. It hurts a whole hell of a lot, more than I’d like it to. And I know it will keep hurting, and that my heart will break itself over and over again until I won’t know what to do with myself.  But I know that I’ll be okay one day. That day just isn’t today.

Today, I need to let my heart tear itself apart. I need to release all of the pain built up inside of me, and I need to scream and cry and feel every single possible emotion that comes along with a broken heart. 

And soon enough, I’ll be okay. I know I’ll get there someday. Just not today.

—  time heals. it heals slowly, but it heals. // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #102 
3

Prop Store has a range of fantastic Labyrinth memorabilia up for auction, with the sale going live on 23rd September. While this baby is way too expensive for me to even think about bidding on it, I wanted to post about and comment on it since I’m pretty well-versed in the Labyrinth scripts floating around. The scripts I’m aware of are:

1. Uncredited script (though I believe it is either all or mostly Terry Jones’ work) dated May 1984 and labelled second draft. I have a scan of this script that I’m unable to share because of copyright restrictions, though I have summarised it before (suffice it to say that it bears little resemblance to the final product).

2.  Undated script by Laura Phillips and Terry Jones. Phillips was brought in to write her own script parallel to Jones writing his, and it would appear that this script represents the initial fusion of both their efforts. This script is available to read online.

3. Script by Terry Jones dated to 7 February 1985 and labelled third draft. Jones was brought back in to restore humour to the script after Bowie threatened to leave the project when the script was changed by other writers, so I expect this is the re-do of the script Jones came up with to ensure Bowie’s involvement. This is supported by the dates in question - the script is dated 7 February 1985, and Jim Henson flew out to Switzerland just four days later (11 February 1985) to lock the deal with Bowie, which was finally set on 15 February 1985. Because of the dates, it’s safe to assume that this is the script that Jim used to win Bowie over. This is the script being auctioned, and all we have of it are the script pages included in the auction. Going by the photographed script pages, there are notable differences to the dialogue. This script is presumably the one that Elaine May would later script doctor, leading to…

4. Script by Laura Phillips and Terry Jones (uncredited revisions by Elaine May) dated to 11 April 1985 and labelled third draft.  This is the final shooting script, as confirmed by Jim’s Red Book. I have a scan of this script that I’m unable to share because of copyright restrictions, though I have summarised it before (it is very close to the final as shot, though it features some cut dialogue, most notably throughout the ballroom scene).

There will have been many more interim drafts, of course, but these are the ones we have solid evidence of. While I entirely expect it to be purchased by a private collector who will stow it away in a private collection where no one will get at it, I do hope a scan/transcript finds its way online. It would make very interesting reading, since it represents a crucial turn in the production history.