Okay so I combined two prompts again coz i can. Also, I know I said I wasn’t going to include prompt 8 in this but as I was writing it I just went ‘fuck it, it suits’ *throws glitter up in the air* *sprinkles it over your head* here you go, mah nonnie
8. “Why are you so jealous?”, 7. “I hate how much I love you,” 14. “Just be my best friend and not the guy I just confessed my love to,” and 5. “Well. Yell, scream. Say something! Anything!”
You couldn’t pin point the exact moment you knew you were in love with Sirius Black. It was more of a slow realisation than an epiphany. First, he was the jerk on the Hogwarts Express that you met in your first year. Then, he was the jerk who stuck up for you when some Voldemort-infatuated Slytherins bullied you over blood. Then, he was the sort-of jerk who is kinda nice, clever and witty, who made you laugh at the most cringe-worthy of jokes. Then he was the sort-of jerk who became your best friend, and you adopted three other children who followed you around like a shadow. Finally, he was back to being the jerk you were in love with and perhaps this was the stage you loathed the most.
You hated love. You hated loving him.
Shit. You stopped, sighed, and spun on your heels.
“W-What just happened?” Sirius’ eyes glittered, two stars against an obsidian sky.
“I poured an entire bowl of some good quality punch on Melanie Bishop’s head….” You resumed walking and Sirius followed, much to your dismay.
“I know,” he chortled, “And–trust me–it was a sight to behold. Never letting that go anytime soon…” he paused, hesitating. Then – “but why?”
“You saw the way she was acting!” you snapped, “She was being a bitch! The girl needed to cool down before all that plastic went to her head…”
‘Bitch’ was an understatement. Melanie had been all over him. Perfectly manicured fingers combing through his hair, sprawling across his chest, sliding over his shoulder as though she were branding him hers and it was driving you insane. Not only because her polished cackle was like nails scratching against a chalkboard, or her obnoxious flirting was assaulting your eyes, but because he was yours. Sirius Black belongs to me.
It is a selfish thought and you want to slap yourself in the face for even thinking it but whenever Sirius spent time with someone else, it killed you slowly, softly, one small blade piecing your heart at a time.
“But the (Y/N) I know wouldn’t do something like that…” He had a point. You were a schemer, not an ‘in the moment’ type of girl.
“Yeah, well, maybe I’ve been hanging around you lot too much!” you turned the corner sharply.
“I don’t think it’s that…” Sirius sent you a scrutinising stare, studying every line of your face. He wouldn’t ever in a million years guess why I had acted so br– “Are you jealous?”
“No!” you snapped. Sirius continued to stare. “Y-Yes…”
Jealousy was such a petty thing that, most often than not, pitted girls against each other at a time when they should be united. But it was too late for apologies.
“Why are you so jealous?”
“If you’re such a genius, you figure it out!” you barked.
“Oh would you stop that!”
“(Y/N),” Sirius’s face had softened, his smile genuine, “Please tell me why…”
“Sirius, please leave me alone…”
You stopped walking, almost making Sirius crash into you. Spinning around, you dug your nails into your palms and gritted your teeth.
Oh, fuck it.
“Because that girl’s shallow interest in you is…well…its shallow! She doesn’t know how you like your toast or the way you sit in a chair, limbs flowing all over the arm rest, because you’re mother used to smack you with a cane if you didn’t sit upright. Or the way you hum when you’re doing something you love, or your interest in motorcycles and how, one day, you’d like to dissect one and rebuild it so you can claim it your own. Or how you tap your fingers when you’re thinking, and how you know seven languages but only because you wanted to learn how to swear in seven languages!”
Sirius watched with wide eyes, lips parted in stunned silence as you continued to vent.
“Sirius, I know all these things about you, all your little nervous ticks and mannerisms, but that girl only knows what she sees. She wants you naked, in her bed, so she can say that she slept with Sirius Black. But I want you, by my side when the whole world collapses, because I’m bloody in love with you. I love you so much, my whole body aches with the pain of it. I love you Sirius. And I hate you. I hate how much I love you.”
Silence. A horrid, cold silence crashed over both of you as you stood in the hallway. A portrait behind you snorted, awakening from its slumber, and complained about the noise.
“There it is. Right there. And now, oh god now, now you’re going to hate me. You’re going to hate me and you’ll never want to see me again.”
Still, more silence.
“Oh, and now you pity me. You probably hate the sight of me so you feel awkward and you’re trying to think of something nice to say to let me down easily. If that’s the case, I don’t need that. I need…I need you to be my friend. Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”
Sirius stared at you, something unreadable in his eyes, and you wanted to punch him in the face with your own face, anything to replace the shame burning your cheeks and Sirius’ incomprehensible gawk.
“Well? Yell, scream, say something. Anything!” Nothing. Apparently, there were no words to be said. So, you would just have to leave him there, rooted to the floor in the hallway, completely bewildered. You turned, and then, you heard Sirius whisper something to the air.
“Have you ever seen yourself when you wake up in the morning?” Sirius suddenly asked. You turned to gape at him, slightly offended.
“When your hair is all disheveled and your cheeks are rosy. I love that,” His voice grew as his confidence blossomed, “And your voice is all husky and sleepy and Merlin I could just listen to you all day. Or when I borrow a book from you, and I’ll be reading and find some random, dried flower between the pages because you plant them there but you forget about it. I have a collection of them, under my bed. They remind me of you. And when you talk about something you love, you get really passionate and wave your arms about in the air, like you’re filled with so much passion, you’re going to explode.”
Sirius stepped closer to you, took your hands, and held them, his thumbs brushing over your skin. “See, you’re not the only one who loves the little things. I love them, too. I could go on forever about all your little quirks and habits. But, the truth is, I’d rather tell you after I kiss you because now I know for certain that you love me, and I know for certain that I love you. So can we please kiss because I’m dying to taste your lips.”
Without another word, you stood on the tips of your toes and kissed him, passionately, held him captive between your lips as you poured every single emotion into him. Magic sparked the air and hummed in your veins as he pulled you closer, you wrapped your arms around his neck and he held onto you as though he were trying to merge your souls together. As your lips danced with his, it was then that you realised he was subconsciously speaking to you the words scribed across his wild, reckless heart.
“Kindaichi’s eyes immediately blinked wide and watery, his legs moving in a staggering step backward before his lightsaber shook free of his hand and his palms grasped weakly around his throat.
Oikawa’s arm lifted. Kindaichi’s feet left the ground.”
ah if you love yourself you should go read @suggestivescribe‘s Shadow of Greed and entire Everything You Fear to Loose series. I wish I had the vocabulary to properly describe how vivid and beautifully written it is…not to mention it’s totally badass. I’m deeply in iwaoi star wars hell and although i’ve been crying a lot I can guarantee it’s pretty cozy here and worth the trip.
“Whatta ya mean I need to get something for her?” Natsu scoffed and Mira scowled at him, her brows pushing together in frustration.
“Don’t you want Lucy to know that you care about her?” Mira questioned and Natsu gave her a dubious glance.
“She already knows I care about her! We’re partners, best friends, ya know?” Natsu reasoned and leaned back on the bar stool he was seated on. Mira huffed and crossed her arms, she was going to need to give him more of a push than she had originally thought.
“What did she get you for Valentine’s Day just a little while ago?” Mira pried and the pink haired boy stared at her blankly.
“Well, she got me these spicy chocolates, they were pretty good.” Natsu admitted, smiling at the thought.
“Great! Now it’s your turn to get her a present!” Mira cheered him on and he rolled her eyes at him.
“She’s gonna go on a job with Happy and I, that’ll be her present!” Natsu stated and Mira glared at him threatening a Satan Soul takeover right there from behind the bar.
“You’re supposed to show that you like her you dummy!” Mira snapped and Natsu fidgeted in his seat.
“I d-dunno what you’re talking about… ‘Course I like her, she should know.” Natsu stammered, his cheeks looking as if they were starting to flush.
“But don’t you loooove her?” Mira giggled, her white hair briefly falling into her face as she leaned forward, teasing the boy.
“Ugh, you and Happy have been hangin’ out too much apparently.” Natsu shrunk his head down beneath his scarf in embarrassment. “I’m going for a walk.” Natsu muttered and abruptly shoved himself away from the bar.
“Remember what I told you! Today is White Day, don’t you dare disappoint Lucy!” Mira called as he walked towards the guild doors and he shot a scowl back at her. “That boy better learn something soon otherwise I’ll need to step in full force.” Mira laughed darkly, ignoring the strange looks she received from the few guild members close by.
“Tch, the hell does Mira know… Damn Happy, gettin’ in everyone’s head.” Natsu grumbled to himself and walked along the sidewalk, absentmindedly heading towards the center of Magnolia.
“Sup, flamedork?” Natsu heard a deep voice call from behind him as Gray jogged to catch up to him in all his shirtless glory.
“What, no insult back? Geez, you must be thinking. Now, that’s scary.” Gray ribbed him and Natsu just scowled in response before sighing and responding.
“What are you doing here anyways?”
“Gotta get Juvia a present. Such a pain.” Gray turned his face downward to hide his obviously reddening cheeks.
“Why are you gettin’ her a present?” Natsu inquired though he already assumed what the answer was.
“Damn White Day. Pain in my ass but, it’s the least I can do I guess.” Gray admitted, shoving his hands into his pants pockets.
“Is it really that big of a deal?” Natsu queried, his mind weighing his options.
“It is to the girls. Besides, they did nice stuff for us on Valentine’s Day, right? It’s only fair to return the favor. Don’t tell me you weren’t planning on getting something for Lucy?” Gray asked with a scowl at Natsu.
“I didn’t know it was such a big deal! Mira’s been going on and on ‘bout it all day. I didn’t even know the day existed until now!” Natsu cried out and Gray snorted.
“That’s because you didn’t have girlfriend until now.”
“Lucy’s not my girlfriend!” Natsu protested and Gray smirked.
“Hey, who said anything about it being Lucy?”
“Sh-shut up! Ya damn ice freak!” Natsu growled and Gray guffawed at his horribly red face.
“Please, we all know that you guys are basically dating. In fact, we’ve gotta pool going on about when you two will actually ban-” Gray was cut off by a punch to the face by a flaming fist.
“Shut the hell up!”
“What the hell was that for?!” Gray yelped and Natsu glared at him.
“Don’t act so innocent ya bastard…” Natsu frowned at the ground, his stomach fluttering for a reason he couldn’t pinpoint but probably knew what it was if he actually put some thought into it.
“Look,” Gray began as he rubbed the singed bruise that was beginning to form on his face, “All I’m sayin’ is you better get Lucy a present otherwise you’re going to look like a real dick. I know Juvia and the rest of em have been all hyped up about this damn day so don’t screw it up like you usually do.” Gray huffed and Natsu continued to find the ground interesting.
“Yeah, yeah…” Natsu trailed off, keeping pace with Gray along the cobblestone walkway. He knew that he should get Lucy something, hell, he knew what the whole holiday was about it was just all so awkward to him. How was he supposed to convey feelings with some stupid little trinket or a box of chocolates? He wasn’t that type of person and it was making his insides hurt just thinking about the complexity it all had. Maybe I’m making this more difficult than it has to be? It’s Lucy so, why am I so nervous….
Lucy, admittedly, was excited about White Day and, just because she didn’t have a boyfriend didn’t mean she’d be disappointed. She liked seeing what everyone got from their “special someone”s, it made her happy to see everyone else so excited. Granted, she had gotten Natsu a present for Valentine’s Day but, she didn’t expect him to actually take the holiday seriously let alone, get her a present. In fact, the idea made Lucy laugh out loud to herself, Natsu wasn’t that type of guy but, it didn’t bother Lucy too much. It’s not like they were dating or anything, just good friends. However, for a while now, she had started to feel a little bit sad at the thought of them being just friends. They had been through a lot together, she’d seen him almost die and they had saved each other countless times so, maybe she was just starting to think that they were closer because of all of that. Lucy shook her head, telling her self she was being silly and headed through the heavy cedar doors of the guild. Guild members were starting to filter in as it got later in the day and Lucy was greeted by the familiar warmth and chatter of Fairy Tail. It made her smile to herself and head for a seat at the bar where Levy was seated, happily chatting to Mira.
“Oh, hey, Lu!” Levy waved, her blue hair flipping behind her shoulder and Mira smiled happily at her.
“Hi, Lucy!” Mira called and Lucy waved back to both of them.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” Lucy questioned as she sat down and Mira placed a strawberry shake in front of her.
“Oh, nothing, nothing at all.” Mira answered her mischievously and Lucy immediately felt threatened.
“Uh oh… That doesn’t sound good, what do you have planned?” Lucy asked into her cup but she knew Mira was doing her scary, scheming smile.
“Uhm… Oh, hey! Lu, look what Gajeel got me! I know, you’re probably surprised that he actually got me something but, it is pretty nice.” Levy held up her right hand and sheepishly displayed a beautifully crafted iron ring with the word ‘iron’ scribed into it, a heart in place of the ‘o’. “He made it himself…”
“Whoa! That’s amazing! And so adorable, aw Levy, he’s the sweetest!” Lucy exclaimed, grasping her smaller hand and examining it in awe.
“Hehe, I’m sure he’d love if you called him ‘sweet’, Lu.” Levy giggled and Lucy sighed and smiled, at least everyone seems happy.
“Ooh! Ooooh!” Mira started squealing and Lucy turned her attention back at her white haired friend instead of her milkshake.
“What? What?” Lucy asked as Mira seemed to be having a minor attack of…. Excitement? But, Mira didn’t answer so, Lucy followed her gaze and found Natsu walking into the guild hall. “Why are you freaking out over Natsu?”
“Ah, Lucy, I bet he has a surprise for you!” Mira squealed and Lucy felt her cheeks heat up.
“Yeah, okay.” Lucy replied sarcastically though her heart fluttered slightly. But, to her surprise, Natsu strode quickly up to her, his face plastered with his usual, toothy grin.
“Hey, Luce!” He waved and greeted her warmly.
“H-hey, Natsu.” Lucy stuttered out; she could hear Mira squealing behind her like an excited little mouse and Levy looked at them wide eyed and ready.
“I have somethin’ for ya. Since you’re so nice and all.” He smirked and from behind his back he produced a leather bound album. “Here ya go!” He proudly handed it to her and Lucy looked down at it in puzzlement.
“What is it?” Lucy questioned curiously.
“Just open it ya weirdo!” Natsu urged and she smiled, laughing slightly, and opened it. Lucy found herself staring at lettering, obviously scrawled by Natsu, that spelled out “Adventures of Natsu and Lucy!”. As she flipped through the pages, each one held a snapshot of her and Natsu with a description captioning each, in detail, about what job they were on or what they were doing that day. It almost brought tears to Lucy’s eyes, her breath caught in her through. Each page held the memories of their time at the guild and together as friends.
“It’s so you can remember all the stuff we did together in case one day I actually get nabbed while fightin’ one of these days.” Natsu smiled, a low chuckle forming in his throat.
“Natsu! Don’t say such awful things!” Lucy cried out but then her gaze softened and suddenly they were blurred by tears. “Thank you so much, Natsu… I love it.”
“Y-yeah, you’re welcome- H-hey! Why are ya crying?” Natsu yelped and began rubbing her arms trying to comfort her.
“I-it’s just…. Sorry, this is just really sweet, Natsu. I’m really happy.” She smiled and hugged the album close to her chest.
“Well, you’re welcome, weirdo.” Natsu snickered and placed a hand on top of her head. “Oh, and there was one more thing…” Natsu sighed as if it was taking a lot out of him to utter the sentence.
“Wha-” Lucy began to ask but was then suddenly cut off by Natsu quickly pressing his lips to hers. As quickly as it happened, it ended, and Lucy felt her head spinning in confusion or excitement or a mix of both, she wasn’t sure. Guild mates gasped and she heard Mira’s strangled choke of excitement and Levy yelling about some bet she won but, all Lucy could focus on was Natsu.
“Wha- Why- How-?” Lucy stammered and Natsu, with cheeks red and uncertainty in his eyes, gazed down at her and smiled.
“Happy White Day, Luce.”
I really, really hope you like it! Thanks for the request! Even though it’s like over two months late!
It isn’t that you deserve a particular something or someone—it’s that you deserve good. Breathe that in—you deserve good things and people—and breathe out and blow away the thought that you deserve anything or anyone “bad.”
You deserve good, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to get good (much less the specific “good” something or someone you desire). “Deserving” isn’t an entitlement—rather, it’s an acknowledgment of your worth and worthiness.
That’s the important thing to scribe in your heart. You are worthy.
New unfired yarn bowl designs using the yarn feed as the feature. Left: Heart and leaves. Right: Quill and ink splodges. These will be glaze coloured within a week with another post to follow.
Hi, can you please list your reasons for shipping Spike and Drusilla? Thank you kindly.
You’re very welcome,
dearest anon. Thank you for your question. <3
My apologies for the huge
delay in reply; I do believe this may have been in my inbox for eons. Every
time I went to answer, I found myself staring at the question like it was an
astrophysics equation written in ancient Latin. By which I mean that it’s a brilliant
question, but I feared I did not have an equally brilliant answer. Perhaps I
still don’t. But congratulations on making me think long and hard about this,
because the truth is for all my gushing over Spike and Dru, I’ve never really
properly questioned why I love them so much. And thus, after
much deliberation, my answer would have to be;
Because I love poetry.
I love jarring
juxtapositions and cacophonous contrasts and oxymorons near moronic in
their contradictions. I love the idea of a vicious Slayer of Slayers who spills
more blood than beer, cashing checks and snapping necks, gleefully causing
chaos all around him, before coming home with some flowers for his girlfriend
and snuggling up with her while they watch Passions on TV. I love the idea of a
murderous demon whose idea of a birthday present is a dismembered demon to
resurrect and wreck havoc with, whose tea is suspiciously red in hue, who is
likely to be seen giggling whilst playing with a bartender’s eyeballs, who
after all the atrocities of an average Saturday night returns to her boyfriend
acting like a college kid falling in love for the first time. I love the idea
of her amorously writing their initials in her diary, using ink from the blood
of her enemies to scribe all the little hearts around their names. I love the
idea of him nervously watching her opening her Valentine’s present, worried
that she already has a severed ribcage from before they got together. There’s
something darkly amusing to me about their dynamic, though I do worry that I’m
doing a great job of romanticizing violence consequently.
love tragic endings in ballads and sad stanzas and how nothing ever seems to
work out for the protagonists in Victorian poems. I love how you can love
someone for over a century, only for but a single year of bad luck and
temptation to send it all crashing down. I love how you can go from offering
someone everlasting life on the basis of liking them that much, to abandoning
them the moment their kisses taste like ashes. I love how you can go from
dedicating your whole existence to worshipping your dark Goddess to casually
offering to kill her for someone you fancy two years later. Why? Because
weirdly (and unfortunately) enough, to me it feels painfully accurate. No, I
don’t mean I’ve ever been offered up as a human sacrifice by an ex. But damn, I’d
be lying if it didn’t feel like that sometimes, and I’m sure it felt similar
for them too. I like the tragedy of it all. The way Spike bitterly looks back
on Dru once their relationship is truly dead and gone. Because the one person
you hate the most is usually the person you once loved the most too. Think
about it. Because while I can only speak for myself, I’ve often found that hate
is the result of love gone wrong.
I had one word to describe Spike and Dru, it would be ‘poetry’. After having
her heartbeat, breath, soul, reflection, and sanity stolen by her sire,
Drusilla is possessed by the ghost of a poem that babbles metaphors and similes
through her. She is bound by poetry; it becomes the only way she can
communicate. And as such, the only person who can understand her is…A poet. A
bloody awful poet perhaps, but a poet nonetheless, who could interpret and
understand her. And I firmly believe that’s why she sired Spike. Because Drusilla
wanted to be understood, to be appreciated, just like the nonsensical sonnets
Spike wrote that only his Mother could bare to listen to.
and Drusilla are poets by nature, just as they are vampires by nature. And for
that reason, they will be always be my favorite ship.