screwin' around

OneShot Kid!Gear

Mmmm OneShots a real good game

Breakin the 4th wall and stuff man

and you literally only have one shot


Kid!Gear belongs to @underloadhell

Taking Care Of You

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Y/N L/N (Reader)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: After finding Dean in a awkward situation, the Reader finds out that taking care of him isn’t quite so bad.

Word Count: 2kish

Warnings: Light Cursing, Fluff

Author’s Note: Heyy guys! This is my entry for @babypieandwhiskey‘s “Cam’s Darndest Things Writing Challenge”! I had the prompt: “Let go of my boob!” I hope you guys like it! *hides face* Feedback is definitely welcomed!!



The first thing that came to mind was: “Holy fricken hell!” There was no way that this actually happened. I mean, I’d heard countless stories of it occurring but to actually witness it with my own two eyes?

“This is insane,” I muttered as I stared at Dean’s bed, my eyes wide with shock. I looked up at Sam, his expression matching mine. “This is insane, right?”

Sam nodded, his brows knitting together as he fought hard to concentrate and analyze the situation at hand.

A small noise came from Dean’s bed and we both whipped our heads to it, our eyes wary. This was absolutely ludicrous.

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college roomates au
  • dirk: John snores like a chainsaw being started by the incredible gripping power of the ass cheeks of a giant with chronic flatulence. Imagine that directly in your ear all night. I can't even start on the drool--
  • jane: Wait, Dirk, are you two sleeping together?
  • dirk:
  • *flashback to dirk and john screwin around in their dorm after getting stoned off janes pot brownies*
  • dirk: I found one of Rose's spellbooks and I bet we could summon a ghost with it.
  • john: dude, i love ghosts! let's do it, i really want to see a ghost up close and personal.
  • dirk: This is the best idea we've ever done.
  • *cut to a writhing mass of darkness on dirks bed, screeching at the horror of being birthed into a new world in a tone that can only be heard to the summoners*
  • john: MAYBE THIS WAS A BAD IDEA?
  • dirk: NO, I'VE GOT THIS, HELP ME PICK IT UP WE'LL THROW IT OUTSIDE AND BURN IT.
  • john: I THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA BUT I ALSO THINK I SAID THAT LAST TIME.
  • dirk: S'GOOD, BRO, LET'S JUST DO THIS.
  • *cut to them resting on the edge of johns bed, tired and coming way the hell down*
  • john: you can sleep with me in my bed, dude.
  • dirk, a Gay: .....Okay.
  • john: i know its kind of tight, but it's cool with me if you snuggle--i mean, um--it's okay if we're really close?
  • dirk: Yea, okay...
  • *john is facing him while they lie in bed and doesnt seem to have any intention of turning around, leaving them face to face, close enough to feel each others breath*
  • *end of flashback*
  • dirk: Yea, he's my boyfriend now.

anonymous asked:

#10 daryl x jesus? <33

things you said that made me feel like shit


“Man, screw you.” Daryl snapped, getting out of the bed. 

“No,” Paul bit back, following him out. He grabbed his pants and pulled them on, glaring at Daryl who was getting dressed much faster than him. “Don’t you dare walk out that door.” he threatened. 

“Or what?” Daryl asked, whipping around, putting on his shirt angrily. “What’re you gonna do Jesus–”

“Oh, now I’m Jesus?” Paul asked, grabbing his shirt from the floor and putting it on. “An hour ago I was Paul.”

“An hour ago you weren’t being such a prick!” Daryl shouted. Paul could tell he clearly didn’t care about who heard from the trailers next to them. Daryl never seemed to care very much about those things anyhow. 

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Now a lot of strange stories have come out of Vietnam,
But sure none as bizarre as the tale of old Charlie Papasan.
It was way back in sixty-eight, not long after Tet,
Near some lush rice paddies, that me and Charlie met.
 
They sent us out to recon a hill called three-O-four,
But little did we suspect just what lay in store.
You see, that hill was empty except for one dead tree,
But hunkered down behind it was one toothless old VC.
 
Attired in black pajamas, not a hair left on his head,
This old Charlie Papasan already looked half dead.
He had a single shot rifle, it was dated nineteen and ten.
He’d fought the French and then the Japs and then the French again.
 
I guess old Charlie`d `bout had enough, having seen a lot in his days,
And like most old goats, he was kinda set in his ways.
So on that hill he sat above his paddy field.
Surrounded by our unit, he still refused to yield.
So we called him on the bullhorn: yelled, “Papasan, come on down,
We don`t want to hurt you, so don`t be screwin’ around.”
 
Then out of the barrel of his rifle, came old Papasan’s reply,
And we all sucked some mud as he let his bullets fly.
He answered us with a shot, the first one of the day,
But it was not to be the last, as we scrambled out of the way.
 
Now this went on for hours as we kept our faces to the ground.
We couldn’t even return fire as Papasan shot his rounds.
Our squad leader crawled to the phone and asked what he should do:
He reported we were under fire, had bit off more than we could chew.
 
HQ called back on the horn, said the word was “No Abort”
Our gung-ho looey said, “Can Do”, and called for air support.
So they sent in the flyboys to napalm that old VC
And they dropped tons of firecrackers targeting that old tree.
 
We waited for the smoke to clear and when it finally did,
There was old Charlie Papasan; still behind that stump he hid.
So they called in Special Forces, the Rangers, and Berets,
But old Charlie Papasan kept them pinned down for days.
 
Then they tried offshore bombardment from every ship in the fleet
But all their shells missed Papasan by at least a hundred feet.
Then they sent for gunships and they came a spittin’ flame
But Papasan behind his tree just took more careful aim.
 
We watched in stunned disbelief as each Huey bit the dust
Brought down by old Papasan and his rifle lined with rust.
Finally our old Sarge just couldn’t take no more.
I saw him crawl off through the brush, and wondered what the hell for.
 
Then in a minute he was back and I knew where he’d had to go.
‘Cause here came Sarge a-leading Papasan’s water buffalo.
Sarge had out his .45 pointed at the dumb critter’s head.
He yelled, “Papasan, come on down, or your goddamn cow is dead!”
 
Now Sarge he`d done two tours; he was wise to the ways of the bush.
He knew Papasan would hurt no cow, if shove ever came to push.
So a thousand armed Americans encircling that hill and tree
All held their breath as one and sat waiting there to see.
 
Finally that ancient rifle came rolling down that hill.
Hands high, out came Papasan yelling, “NO KILL, NO KILL!”
Well, what happened to old Papasan, I guess you’d like to know,
Did we shoot the tough old bastard or did we let him go.
 
Well, we all looked at Sarge and this is what he`d done:
He traded Charlie that buffalo for that rusted out old gun.
So that old man just walked away with his water buffalo
Back to his lush rice paddies where you reap just what you sow.
 
And as I turned to look at Sarge I saw a sad look on his face.
He looked down at that rifle and said, “I’ll never understand this place.
—  “The Ballad of Charlie Papasan,” author unknown.
Desus is real (It’s also 4am don’t judge my structure) (I’m just typing what i think)

I’m almost positive that Jesus and Daryl will end up together by or during season 9.

Okay so I’m just gonna start off with the Richonne parallels.

-Daryl and Jesus met during the same episode that Rick and Michonne… became official? I guess? (6x10). It’s like, they’re finally together so it’s time to bring in a new slow burn romance. AKA DESUS

-Richonne and Desus both started the same way - Person A saving Person B, and bringing them back to their camp to keep them safe.

-Person A having no valid reason to why they brought Person B back.

These parallels basically confirm it in themselves. Especially the fact they met in the same episode Richonne happened. It’s not like this could even be by accident. “OOPS! Daryl and Jesus have a lot of chemistry and also happen to mirror Rick and Michonne’s relationship perfectly!! What a terrible accident!” 

We also know for sure that Jesus is gay, and the only evidence we have of Daryl’s sexuality is how uncomfortable he got when Carol teased him about “screwin’ around.” Gay is a likely option, but so is ace. Asexual doesn’t mean aromantic, though. Desus can be just as real even without the sex. (Thinking about it, that would be an interesting subplot and great representation - Daryl explaining his asexuality to Jesus or something like that, finally opening up… or hiding it and being very uncomfortable talking about it, Jesus is respecting that but… whoops I just got excited for no reason that was like.. a headcanon) AAAAnyway.

After Jesus tells Maggie there’s never been time for friends, family. “BOYFRIENDS” She suggests settling down, and he agrees. In 6x11, Abraham asks Daryl about settling down, and before he says he doesn’t want to, he definitely thinks about it. And of course Daryl is gonna say no, he wants to keep his ‘reputation’, but you can tell he does want too. It’s been over a season and he hasn’t gotten there yet, but I would expect… pretty soon… he’s gonna give it a go.

 I don’t really think we even need more fucking proof. If you want more or have a question just send me an ask 

**This was written disregarding anything cast or crew has said. Going by things they say is never a good thing, they’re going to lie, they want it to be A SURPRISE.

Okay so there’s this park

The playset is shaped like a legit rocket and there’s a little space shuttle and moon buggy next to it?

And I’m sorry, but Clay and Apollo would totally spend hours screwin around on that thing, pretending they’re going on a mission to Mars or something

And guess what the main colors are?

Red and blue, baby.


It also vaguely resembles a bomb pop but we’re not gonna talk about that

jealous

adj.  fiercely protective of one’s rights or possessions.

word count: 1199

warnings: swearing


You couldn’t help but stare as her beautiful blonde hair danced in the breeze. Her eyes never left Daryl’s face, and the smirk on her lips never ceased. You knew Andrea had a thing with Shane, but by the looks of it, she had gotten bored and hoped to move onto Daryl. Too damn bad he was yours, and you weren’t one to share men. You eyed her outfit, a low cutting top that more than likely gave Daryl a full view down. You narrowed your eyes and looked back down at your meal. You’d barely touched it, the rice and potatoes just not seeming all to appealing to you this evening.

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The Sam Winchester Starters Pack;

Mix of angst, fluff, crack, etc. Also to match the Dean post cause I was tired of not seeing one for Sammy 

❝I have a confession to make, I was the on that called them and told them I was a Hollywood producer.❞
❝All right. Just remember you started it.❞
❝ If you pull that string one more time, I’m gonna kill you. ❞
❝ Man, I think I’m allergic to our soap or somethin’. ❞
❝ I guess the cops don’t want any more kids screwin’ around in there. ❞
❝ You smell like a toilet. ❞
❝Jerk. ❞
❝ No, not normal. Safe. ❞
❝ You gotta calm down. ❞
❝ Should I honk? ❞
❝ What? No one. Nothing. ❞
❝ Skin mags! ❞
❝ No way he fits up in one piece. ❞
❝ After 3 hours, I have found no reason why anything supernatural will be going on here. ❞
❝ I lost my shoe. ❞
❝Bite me. ❞
❝ Since when have we ever done anything smart? ❞
❝ We have guns and we’ll find you. ❞
❝ …Maybe that’s what Heaven is: you relive your greatest hits. ❞
❝Oh…Oh, yeah. They gave me…everything! It’s…It’s…spectacu…ulack…❞
❝ It’s okay. Safe room. ❞
❝ So your saying… you’ll be my… Jiminy Cricket. ❞
❝ It’s ok, I’ve had time to adjust. ❞
❝ Wow, that… sounded really creepy coming outta your mouth. ❞
❝ Is it a kinky thing?❞
❝ You can recite every Clint Eastwood movie ever made, line-for-line. ❞
❝ Licorice is disgusting.  ❞
❝I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I hope you’re watching cartoon smut.❞
❝ Not fifty times in a row. ❞
❝ You saying a Transformer wrote that? ❞
❝ I don’t remember driving here. ❞
❝ No, no, how can know that for sure? ❞
❝ What time did I lay down? ❞
❝ Huh. This place must be in some kind of, like, Bermuda Triangle. ❞
❝ Look at you. You’ve still got that look. You’re shaky. You’re on edge. ❞
❝ You did try to kill his mother. ❞
❝ That’s your third unanswered voicemail. You ever think… maybe he’s just not that into you? ❞
❝ Oh, they grow up so fast. Don’t they? ❞
❝ Hey. It’s over. He’s dead. ❞
❝ Drop the blade. ❞
❝ It’s because seven ate nine. ❞
❝ One battle at a time, you know? ❞
❝ And then I’m gonna get drunk. ❞
❝ Because you’re a dickwad. ❞