scresm

anonymous asked:

ive noticed you mention azrael a lot. is there any particular reason why?

hhhHHHHH IDK WHY???? I JUST FEEL LIKE I HAVE A CONNECTION WITH THAT PARTICULAR ANGEL LIKE I KNOW MICAH IS MY GUARDIAN ANGEL BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE SOMETHING WITH THIS ANGEL HHHHHHHH

i was just reading something about how azrael has an associated stone and its yellow calcite crystals and i just remembered my mom saying i have a yellow aura and it made me giddy because now i wanna get a yellow calcite so i can try and commune with him and stuffs

azrael is your buddy angel and u should love him because he loves u so much u r so wonderful to him

may 23, 2015

5:13

i didnt want this to become a thing where my words were intentional i wanted it to be a strem of thought but typing takes too long and the words sentences scresms in my head are too loud this isnt working and im scared that nothing will-this will slow my thoghts down thats good but i want to get them all out there i want to get it physical make it make sense im scared its so easy to take deep breaths for granted i cant catch mine shit i dont want this to look like poetry i dont care about your grammar maybe i once did why does it go in different places the typing is making it worse i feel frantic i feel scared i feel sad i cant breathe but maybe im not trying, i feel like im trying so hard nothings working maybe pretending is working but i think im crashing and i havent even been doing that for that long and i dont think i can keep this up but i do not see a solution in sight because part of me is clinging to the comfort that is this deep dark terrible horrible place. i still cant breathe i dont want this to be a diary i have three options and i hate all of them, im too big for my own skin i feel like im going to burst out theres no where to go theres literally no where to go and theres no where to save me and i have some people who are trying to save me but its getting pretty exhausting and its inevitable i just dont know how close it is and i dont know where to go im TRAPPED sometimes it screams in capitals but im trapped i swear i want to get out but part of trapping yourself is not having the will to give t up or something like that i said it in my head it made sense but i cant get it down