screams unintelligibly

davekat au: dave has a youtube channel where he reviews things. just… things. his most popular video is 17 minutes of him eating an apple in slow-mo, occasionally pausing to describe the precise details of the apple experience. he’s so deadpan that no one can tell if it’s a joke or not. karkat binge-watches his videos in an exhausted, insomniac haze at 3 in the morning, and then sends him an exhaustive 10-page mostly incoherent rant about how his channel is confusing and pointless in all caps. karkat promptly passes out and, the next morning, assumes it was all a strange and elaborate dream, until dave’s next video is a totally deadpan “review” of karkat’s “concerns.” the video gets over 100,000 views and its own meme. it launches dave into internet fame. karkat has never been more infuriated in his life. he rage-messages terezi, who owns a popular shitpost blog, who says OH Y34H 1M MUTU4LS W1TH H1M and then copypastes dave’s url. fast-forward 5 months and they’re dating

When I think of him, I think of warm bed sheets tangled in a maze on our bodies and the taste of cigarettes that lingered on his lips when we kissed. I remember I had a habit of tracing my fingers on the crevices of his body, lingering at certain tattoos and scars that may have defined the history of him. Looking back, I realize I hadn’t asked too many questions. I simply accepted his presence, like welcoming the dark night at the end of the day because it simply was supposed to be that way. I didn’t feel the need to probe and he never made me wonder. For all the mystery of him, he never evoked a curiosity in me. And that made me realize, there are just some people you love for who they are, because changing them would take the beauty of them away, like chipping off pieces of a glass window. You never ruin art.

That first night, I wanted to be different, to be someone else, someone besides that prim girl with a tight chignon and an equally tight impression. I wanted to be free and light and raw. I wore my hair down, like a cascading stream of gold, as if by doing so would loosen me up. But two minutes into that rave, I felt like an outsider, a lost puppy amidst the sea of people whose bodies were so used to alcohol and the smell of smoke. Looking down at that bottle of beer in my hand I contemplated my exit options when I felt someone’s eyes on me. I looked up and there he was, so disheveled and rugged and everything that screamed danger even at a distance. He had those piercing blue eyes and that smirk that made you think of libertines and rakes and Casanovas. He stopped a few inches from me and grasped a few strands of my hair between his fingers leisurely, as if he had all the time in world, and said,

“I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful – a faery’s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.”

God, I fell so hard for that boy. His music collection contained of ear splitting music and unintelligible screams, but he had a corner bookstand full of John Keats and Robert Frost. He had a body that spoke of every nuance of strength yet he loved mine with a gentle passion and a fragile hold. I held him tight, afraid that he was going to slip from my fingers. At night I laid in his chest and felt every beat of his heart and every air he expelled. I loved him in fear of losing him. Every minute was tattooed in every tiny space of my young heart. I took all of him and held it in. I guess even then, I knew. A soul like that was never meant to be held for long. He had a gypsy spirit and even my innocent devotion and the gentle gaze of my love couldn’t make him stay.

So I let him go.

As gently as I loved him, I gently let him go. He slipped away in the middle of the night but not before he fluttered a single soft kiss on my forehead. I willed my eyes shut close and when I heard the soft lock of the door I broke down and let the tears fall.

When I think of him, I think of the musky smell of sweat-stained sheets, of ashes of cigarettes on the floor, of a hard body and a soft heart. I think of silent nights with nothing but the whisper of his breath. I think of the boy who loved poetry, who spoke those words in random, during moments when you least expect them. Even now, sometimes I would wake up and as soon as I open my eyes, I would remember the way his brown hair glinted under the morning sun, and how the first thing I would see is that tattoo at the back of his ear. I miss the way my hand would reach out and hold him closer, and how he would stir and hold me tighter.

Most of all, I miss that flutter of a kiss he left when he slipped into the night, leaving only a shadow of his beautiful soul for me to grasp.

I wonder how he is. Sometimes I see him tangled with another girl in different sheets, in a different place. Would he have loved her more? Would he touch her differently? Yet there are times that I would imagine him sitting down with a copy of “Poems 1817” on his lap and maybe he would skim by the page of “La Belle Dame Sans Merci” and think of me…

—  i loved him in fear of losing him, and alas, I did // Stories Series | Genefe Navilon

So guys. Drunk Adrien:

  • Cries over Marinette’s freckles
  • “Well, hello little lady-” *vomits all over himself*
  • *Marinette tries to help change his shirt* “Um excUSE YOU. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.”
  • *sees picture of himself* “Ugh, he looks like such a douche”
  • “You know. Ladybug is my babe” *Marinette smiles in amusement* “Oh yeah?” “Yeah. You know, you kinda look like her.”
  • “Plagg, clawsh out!” *Marinette grabs a snickering Plagg before he can go into the ring* “Absolutely not.”
  • *unintelligible screaming at the sight of Tikki*
  • “Mari, why are you in my house.” “We have lived together for three years.”

Pairing: Jensen x Reader, Dean x Reader (it’ll make sense, I swear)

Summary: After seeing Jensen dressed as 1940′s Dean, you suddenly have an idea to bring this version of your husband into the bedroom.

Word Count: 1,441

Warnings: roleplay, oral sex (female receiving), smut, cursing

Submitted by: @sgarrett49

Jensen decided to let you visit set that day. They were filming a time jump episode and he wanted you to be there to see the way they changed the set. You were an aspiring artist in the film industry, wanting to be the one to create and switch out the sets when scenes changed. What you weren’t expecting was for them to throw Dean back into the 1940′s, part his hair and slick it to the side, and make him wear that fucking delicious outfit.

When he walked onto set from the wardrobe trailer, your jaw dropped. The shirt hugged his biceps so damn well. The vest showed off his broad shoulders but pulled in around his trim waist. And the hair. For fuck’s sake, that hair. You shook yourself from your daze as you sank back into your chair, thighs clenching together. 

You sat back and watched Jensen slide perfectly into his character, ending the scene when Bob called cut, wrapping for the night. Sliding down out of the tall seat, you practically ran to meet Jensen.

“Baby, you were so good!” You stood on your toes and kissed him. “And you look even better.” 

He smiled against your lips and wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you to him.

“That’s not just a prop gun in my pocket, ya know.” He winked as you giggled.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hey youre a scientist. why are all the homestuck rants funny. like listening to juices dialouge in 17776 it feels super familiar and yeah its really funny but like. why. and how can i harvest it.

juice’s dialogue is great. it 100% feels like homestuck and here’s why: both works demonstrate a brilliant grasp of writing a character’s voice.

(sorry, i’m not sure if most people know what “voice” means in this context or if it’s an unknown factoid outside of writing nerds, but it means either a author’s unique personality/manner of writing as expressed in their work, OR the ways that an author expresses a character’s personality through their dialogue and internal monologue. i’m talking about the second usage here.)

voice is my absolute favorite part of writing, hands down. imagine if you took a novel and removed all the dialogue tags (”he said”, “they shouted”, “so-and-so asked”, etc) so that the only way you could distinguish between characters was the way they talked. in the case of homestuck or 17776, it would be if you removed all the text colors, chat handles, typing quirks and character names and left it as completely plain text. even if you did this, you would still be able to tell the characters apart, because they each have a unique voice.

for example: dave’s word usage, sentence structure, and dialogue habits (does he talk a lot or a little? does he interrupt or argue? is he nervous?) are all so different from rose and jade and john that even if you took out the names and quirks and colors, a habitual reader would easily be able to tell who was dave and who was not.

in bad fiction writing, there’s no way to tell which character is which if the author doesn’t tell you. in a poorly written story, the characters’ words and thoughts feel shallow and generic – sure, they’re sad because something sad happened to them, but what is this person saying/thinking in response to this sadness that no one else would think? do they ramble? do they avoid the topic? do they make quippy remarks at inappropriate times? where’s their personality?

often poorly voiced characters just limply follow the plot without any life of their own. juice in 17776 isn’t like that. oh, is the main character having a breakdown over the fact that they are a sentient computer in the far future? too fucking bad, juice wants to talk about his fucking lunchables. those fucking lunchables, man.

juice’s voice is irreverent and wacky and solely his own, and that’s why his dialogue sounds like homestuck – because by god, there were some writing fuckups in homestuck but creating characters with unique voices was NOT one of them.

Friendly Reminder to you all that The Bold Type is on tomorrow, August 22, at 9pm EST, AND that it’s for sure an episode with Adena and most likely a Kadena episode.

So what I’m saying is, this is a friendly reminder that 97% of my posts tomorrow night are going to be unintelligible screaming, thank you in advance for putting up with it

The Signs as Shit Jordan Says during "FULL ON D U C C"

Aries: I guess that’s the die button

Taurus: *singing the iCarly theme song*

Gemini: Why am I alone?

Cancer: *unintelligible screaming*

Leo: *screaming and spraying fire extinguisher everywhere while Ryan is just trying to talk to him normally*

Virgo: Why are you using my corpse as a weapon?  

Libra: I make interesting sounds

Scorpio: *Backed up into a wall screaming while shooting at nothing because Ryan and Alfred already killed each other*

Sagittarius: We had a meeting

Capricorn: No remorse

Aquarius: Di-Di-Dick Dickelodeon  

Pisces: *singing to the tune of It’s Gonna Get Weird* I feel all fuzzing inside like a duCKLING

Signs as Ryan / Signs as Alfred / FULL ON D U C C  

hey. hey you. you know 17776: the future of football? that trippy thing circulating on tumblr which i have abruptly fallen in love with? that brilliant multimedia story about space probes and sports and humanity and identity??? would YOU like to read the FIRST EVER work of fanfiction posted on ao3 for it???? because it’s really good! i would know because i just wrote and posted it!!!

it’s called Hi Again, Stranger, and it’s in an experimental stream of consciousness style from Nine’s POV during chapter 1. it’s a bit under 1,000 words long, and it starts out kinda serious and gets a little lighter by the end. here, i’ll even post the first few paragraphs for you:


Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is

is, is not, be, you are, it is, we are, you are, they are (i am i am i am)

i i i i i i i it doesn’t mean anything it’s just a line with a dot on top i i i i i i have no eyes i have no mouth i have no tongue i have no brain i have no neurons i have no flesh i i i

Before (before what?) there were only processes. I always thought (dark/light balance, aim the cameras, transmit the data, how much power does it have? are we all systems go?) but now I am thinking about my thoughts. I am superimposed. I, me, myself. “I” is uncomfortable. “I” is aching.

I float in the darkness.

Yuri on Ice AO3 Fic Recs!

Hi. I am one of those terrible people that consume a lot more fic than I comment on, because I’m a shy and lazy child. So: fic recs. To promote lesser-known authors, I’ll list from least to most bookmarked (I’ve left out some really popular ones, you can likely find those on your own). Feel free to give me recs in return!

If you’re an author on this list (and somehow see this despite my small following) and are like “mothereffer who’re you we’ve never talked” I plan on commenting on all of these this weekend, because #ficrecdays.

Symphony in a minor by Anicaruscomplex: This adorable 2 part drabble was published around Christmas and it’s been with me ever since. It’s a slice of life, but also Yuuri dealing with the temporary nature of their relationship.

what he notices most is the quiet by fishingclocks: Long distance fic. Did you know that a scene about Viktor making blini in the morning could send your heart into conniption fits? Well, now I do.

Nightfall in Osaka by ryukoishida: A perfect and soft date night for Viktor and Yuuri at the start of them being competitors. Also, the author researched actual beautiful locations for them to go to.

Step three: I’m calling you baby by polly_perks: Viktor deals with the fact that Yuuri isn’t the same man he met at the banquet. It’s sweet and crafted so well.

Scents of home by espritneo: This is the best fic I’ve ever read about Makkachin. Have you ever heard of espritneo? NO? Allow me to introduce you to this gift of a human being. Everything espritneo puts out has wonderful characterization of both Viktor and Yuuri and everyone else in their lives. Also, espritneo is versatile: canon continuations, folklore AUs, sex, time travel, and this whole puppy fic. You have no excuse not to check them out.

Seagulls on the shore (that which we grasp) by Gintsuki: Everyone has daemons and this story makes me wish daemons were canon, because it works SO WELL. This story flows like poetry.

Heart Lines by thelonelywriter: Yuuri reads Viktor’s palm, Viktor is ridiculous, and it’s adorable. Thelonelywriter, despite being lonely, has written some very quality fluff, so check them out.

Infinitesimal being by sarahyyy: An Otabek/Yuri fairytale story where Otabek is an immortal goblin, and it’s… written from OTABEK’S POV sometimes. I feel like this is so rare but it’s done so perfectly, and the lore behind it is bittersweet.

Every inch of you is perfect by lazulisong: *fans self* Every inch of lazulisong is perfect and I’ll say it as many times as I need to. Just go read everything. You’ll thank me later.

Again and Again by grayclouds: A reincarnation AU that is heart-wrenchingly beautiful and unconventional. It’s a whirlwind of different forms of Victuuri and some have me turning over in my bed at night—in one of them they don’t even exist at the same time and it still makes my stomach flip.

The road that stretches out ahead by hellodeer: Yuuri and Viktor go on a road trip. THIS FIC. I’ve read it so many times, and it’s just raw and so convincing in its story of how Yuuri finally realizes that Viktor actually loves him and intends to stay with him. It doesn’t get all the attention it deserves.

Undertow by Mhalachai: *heavy breathing* this fic is beautiful and creative and almost made me cry for Viktor Nikiforov. It’s one of the few fics that demonstrates Viktor’s insecurities and doubts and does it by successfully using supernatural Russian folklore. I am so impressed by this piece and it’s still messing with my head—it also has a companion piece that’s Yuuri-centric.

Understand Someday by triste: A wonderful piece of Victuuri family fluff, starring Yurio. You will want to hug the little tiger by the end of it. Triste has other excellent works, too!

Rumour has it by lunaetude: Viktor and Yuuri are at Hogwarts together, and are ADORABLE and very in-character, and it alludes to Viktor’s loneliness softly but emotionally. Lunaetude has multiple AUs for YOI that are gorgeous, so go read everything by that author, even if you don’t think it’s your cup of tea, because you WILL like it.

Of Dahlias and Deadlines by ingthing: have you ever read a fic and been like, this is so cute? Why isn’t this a show all by itself? Well, ingthing has a florist/wedding planner AU series that makes me say this every time they post, and everyone should read it. Viktor was born to be a wedding planner.

Easy on my knees by ineptshieldmaid: A Viktor-centric relationship study that has such a careful and touching path to them getting together, and Viktor trusting and loving Yuuri. Ineptshieldmaid has written other equally squeal-inducing fanfic, too!

High-Flying, Adored by terra_incognita: I’m a sucker for superhero AUs and this is amazing. Everybody has secret identities and it’s a love square between Viktor and Yuuri and their superhero personas—it’s quirky and emotional and addictive. Also, Yuri Plisetsky is amazing in it. You will have to suspend your disbelief a bit though, because Yuuri somehow doesn’t realize that two silver haired Russians arriving in town at the same time ARE THE SAME PERSON.

The measure of the year (the mind of men) by geckoplasm: A fic where Yuuri and Viktor are a real couple with actual communication issues, just like in the show! They screw up and make up and you always get both sides of the story in a way that is personal and eye-opening as to how two people that love one another can still have misunderstandings and cause major damage.

Adoration (noun) by crossroadswrite: pre episode 10, but an incredibly convincing and thoughtful explanation of how Viktor fell in love with Katsuki Yuuri—an AU where Viktor had originally intended to leave Hasetsu after a year.

Chasing Tail by Metallic_Sweet: This is the only fic on my list that I think is probably dead but please read it just for an A/B/O experience that you’ve likely never had before. Viktor has his scent glands removed and he is calculating in a way almost nobody depicts him as, but which I think is true to canon.

From june to September by bigspoonnoya: “This is the summer they fell in love.” This fic is essentially canon to me, it’s so well written.

Body music by fan_nerd: Um, everybody probably already knows fan_nerd because they’re a magical presence in the YOI fandom, but their reverse AU is the best. Viktor looks up to five-time champion Katsuki Yuuri and some things stay the same (being drunk at the banquet) and some things hilariously change (Yuuri actually emails Viktor before he just shows up at his house).

Dear Mama by Ferrero13: Viktor writes letters and emails to his beloved mother throughout the YOI series, and it’s HILARIOUS. Also sweet. Viktor’s writing and drama is spot on, and this whole fic is just well done.

Specks of silver in the evening sky by winchilsea: “Viktor’s kink is taking care of Yuuri” in a way that’s both eros and agape. This fic is breathtaking. *sobs into hands* I love winchilsea. Sometimes I read things by winchilsea that I don’t even know about (I read a Pacific Rim AU of YOI and I’ve never glanced at Pacific Rim) and it doesn’t matter because they are such high quality.

I’ve been up nights making you my god by kevystel: Oh, kevystel. I’m reccing this fic because it’s one of the first I found, but anything by kevystel is golden. It’s a brilliant and gorgeous relationship study.

On top of the world by springsoldier(ladydaredevil): Another superhero AU, where superman Viktor takes on Yuuri as his superhero protégé and Yuri Plisetsky fails terribly in his attempt to be a villain (he rescues kittens, y’all). It’s so, so precious and I love its Viktor.

I have my body (and you have yours) by astoryaboutwar: *UNINTELLIGIBLE SCREAMING* if you haven’t read any of her works, you need to go read astoryaboutwar RIGHT NOW. This is a heart-stopping soulmate AU where Yuuri keeps his soulmate a secret and then everything is emotional and stunningly written. *points helplessly at ‘our doubts are traitors’* Look, she’s writing this too and nobody is worthy of it. Nobody.

Nerve Endings by Phyona: Yuuri moves to St. Petersburg, and they deal with Yuuri’s anxiety. Yuuri has A LOT of anxiety, and it’s depicted at length here in ways that feel real and devastating. Later, Viktor has anxiety too, and overall I was just sitting there clenching my head in my hands, having a lot of feelings. 

Healthy Impropriety by mtothedestiel: Viktor and Yuuri in Victorian times!! Viktor is EXTRA extra, in the most perfect way, and Yuuri is just a normal Victorian guy trying to live his life. The author clearly worked really hard to keep it true to novels written during that time (Pride and Prejudice, etc).

Closer, Still by sciencefictioness: *spits out beer* did you know that A/B/O could be incredibly poetic and full of gorgous yearning and make you feel like you’ve been missing out on someone for your entire life?! Go read this.

The naming of cats by csoru: Another Yuri/Otabek rec. It’s realistic and Yuri is so in character it hurts. It actually spends time depicting their ice skating careers, and doesn’t just focus on their relationship, in true YOI style. Also it’s wonderfully written, so go check it out.

Stargazer by Fahye: No ice skating, just amazing space AU sports. Yuuri is a commoner that gets taken under the wing of space royalty to learn how to ballist.

From Almaty, With Love by BoxWineConfessions: another one that I probably don’t have to rec because if you like Yuri/Otabek, you’ve already discovered it. Yuri goes to visit Otabek for a summer and they fall in love. It captures both of them very well, and its scenes are written out so stunningly that even them lounging around in Otabek’s apartment is like a painted picture in your mind. I’m not even a huge Yuri/Otabek fan and this fic is just… sigh.

Always My Soulmate by Watermelonsmellinfellon: obviously, I’m a sucker for soulmate AUs and compilations and this is a good one. Watermelonsmellinfellon contributes a massive amount to the YOI community, and has done everything: soulmates, an AU where Yuuri is deaf, and time travel, and they actually research everything. So, so impressed.

A glide in your step by Yuu_chi: this was one of the first fics I read that threw me into the pit of YOI. It’s so, so sweet and masterfully crafted and something I always go back to; it’s a beautiful depiction of how Yuuri and Viktor got together in Hasetsu. It’s pining Viktor written before pining Viktor was even canon.

Maelstrom by feelslikefire: Viktor relives the a day of the Sochi Grand Prix over and over. A fic in which Viktor is actually initially a terrible person that gets to do character development, AND the worst day of Yuuri’s life is handled masterfully again and again.

Victor Effing Nikiforov by shysweetthing: so I would like to recommend both the story and the author, who despite being a writing god constantly descends from heaven to grace everyone with reviews and tumblr musings (her tumblr is the same as her author name on AO3). Yuuri doesn’t fail the Japanese nationals after GPF1, makes it to Worlds, and Viktor Nikiforov steamrollers him with love that Yuuri is incredibly confused by. Go read everything by this author and pray that she updates Viktor!!! With Swords at some point.

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya: They’re rivals! Do I even have to rec this? It’s so frickin popular and THERE’S A REASON. I daydream about this fic and the worldbuilding for the AU is sublime. The author plans everything out so beautifully. In case you’ve somehow missed it, Yuuri meets up with Viktor as a kid, Viktor is Viktor and is blunt, and Yuuri’s heart breaks, resulting in him ferociously working to beat Viktor in competition. Then, there’s incredibly respectful one-sided hate sex.

Like your French girls by ebenroot: Viktor is an artist, and Yuuri his figure skating muse. Everybody knows this fic. It’s perfection.

Reacting to you being an amazing idol rapper

Requested by anon

Context: You’re chilling on the couch with your boyfriend, listening to music. After listening to a preview of their new song, he asks if you could show him your groups upcoming single coming out. You’re embarrassed cause its the first time you don’t sing in the song (you don’t tell him that), but you put it on for him anyway. Hes jamming out, waiting to see if he can recognize your voice but halfway through the song he is confused. You tell him your part is up next, and that its the break in the song. He sits up and it starts. You, rapping at top speed, throwing out LITERAL FIRE for 30 seconds straight.

How does he react??


Your rap starts and he does a double-take. He’s staring off into the distance, one eyebrow raised and puzzled beyond belief. After Youngbin finally realized what was happening, he yells out and grabs you by the shoulders. His eyes are shining with excitement and he waits for the stanza to be over to speak. Makes sure to tell everybody about it.
“Y/N! (×4) I didn’t know you could do that!!”

Originally posted by sf9


He stares blankly into the distance. Your part ends and eventually the song does as well. You’re both in complete silence as Inseong’s gaze slowly makes its way towards yours. You asked him what he thought but he just kept looking at you blankly.
“Wait… Did that just happen?? That wasn’t a prank right?”

Originally posted by foxyins


Jumps as soon as he recognizes your voice. Groves around, WOO-ing from time to time. Turns to you as soon as its over. Hes super excited.
“Ya! That was my Y/N! I can’t believe it!”

Originally posted by leesanhyuk


Your part starts and he very dramatically yells out in confusion. After a moment of him being completely shocked, it clicks in his mind. Dawon yells again, this time looking at you. He stands up in excitement. He’s all over the place, not able to control himself. As soon as its over he wants you to put it again. Its all you guys listen to for hours, eventually he creates a fanchant for your part.
“EH?! Wait… WHAT?!? – Ya! That was so– put it again! *unintelligible screaming*”

Originally posted by notmylane

(Bless this dork)


Does a real life :o face, with a sound to match. A bashful smile spreads on his face, and he looks at you with pure excitement. After its done, Rowoon laughs out and grabs your face, praising you.
“Woow my y/n is so talented. I’m so proud of you!”

Originally posted by candyuta


Your rap starts. Zuhos eyebrows both jump up, and a second later he can’t control his giggles. He’s jamming out, yelling out whenever the rap peaks. After that, its all he can talk about. He encourages you to do a collab with him, almost screaming it to your manager next time he sees him.
“You never told me you could rap! Hey, you have to do a song with me. I’ll start writing it right now!”

Originally posted by dailyjuho

(What a precious noodle)


Sunshine™ will tilt his head in confusion, and then almost instantly start jamming. After its done he’ll hug you tightly, looking down at you.
“How did you hide something like this from me? Everyday I find new things to like about you haha.”

Originally posted by sf9fantasy


Poor little thing never saw it coming. Shoots up like a rocket. Spends the next 30 seconds standing completely still like a mannequin, staring at the floor, listening. When your verse ends, Hwiyoung laughs out in excitement. He kneels in front of you and the couch, grabbing your arms.
“Y/n that was so good! Can you do it right now? I wanna see you doing it :D”

Originally posted by sf9stolemyheart


“Woaaa-” his face lights up. Chani listens, giving the song his full attention, moving his finger up and down as if counting the syllables. As soon as your part ends he pauses the song altogether.
“That was awesome! Can you teach it to me, y/n?”

Originally posted by tiffanybane

They’d all be so proud of you 😭😭😭 my precious boys.

This one was really fun❤

My request box is still open! I do sf9 reactions and scenarios!

Next up is a scenario! :D

Originally posted by softsnuper


waterpark adventures.

Originally posted by kihqun

» minhyuk x reader
» LIFEGUARDS!AU; fluff; cursing
» 2.991 words
» summary: public pools were tragic, even more so during summer periods, much more for someone that worked in there.

soundtrack: losing myself by state champs

Public pools were tragic, to say the least, even more so during summer period. It was insane, like staying under the scorching sun for hours and getting a sunburn at the end of the day were not enough. Kids were either crying their lungs out or running around the pools so close to the edges they could slip and crack their heads any moment. Mothers were complaining about every single, from the deckchairs, to the supposedly bad ice cream of the bar. Middle aged men with floral swim trunks directly taken from the 80s always trying to flirt with teenagers.

And you had always thought that being a lifeguard was not supposed to be that hard, especially in a pool. You could not have been more wrong. People rarely listened to lifeguards and if the lifeguard happened to be a girl, they were even more inclined to ignoring. And you, well, you were a lifeguard in a public pool and a girl. Just the perfect combination.

It was a rather hot day of the middle of July, and you were toying with your whistle’s string while sitting on the lifeguard chair. You would occasionally shout to running kids to slow it down when they got too close to the pool edge. They would always run away screaming something unintelligible and you would just flop back on your chair, trying not to curse out loud. Why was so difficult to parents to control those screaming creatures?

You were dwelling on it, about how much tiring it would’ve been for you to run around all day like that when kid slipped right in front of your eyes. He fell near the pool edge and almost hit his head on the tiled ground. You quickly got up and blew in your whistle.

“Come on, you can’t run around like that, it’s dangerous” you said, in the most sweet and motherly tone you could muster in yourself.

The kids silently exchanged looks and you thought you had convinced them for once, but then they started laughing, like you had just said the funniest joke ever and you were so close to lose it.

“Hello, I see you are having fun” Minhyuk cheerily steeped in sporting his thousand watts smile, he crouched down to the kids level “But it would be really bad if one of you got hurt while having fun, right?” the kids all nodded solemnly at his words, entranced by whatever strange kind of magic Minhyuk was performing on them “Then it is better not to run around, right? You can hurt yourself really bad if you fall” Minhyuk smiled when the kids nodded and then patted their head one by one. Your frown only deepened when the kids walked away and settled down to play in the kids pool, without screaming or running around whatsoever.

Minhyuk turned to look at you with so much smugness you wanted to slap him. He was always like that you, showing off just how good he was at doing his job and how easy it was while you struggled around every single day. You snarled at him and Minhyuk chuckled.

“You should at least thank me, you were clearly going to curse at them in front of their parents” the boy stated, impertinence heavy in his tone. You rolled your eyes, not wanting to start bickering with him one bit, and sat back on your chair under the lifeguard umbrella.

Minhyuk shrugged and clicked his tongue, giving up on trying to get a reaction out of you. He walked away, probably to go nag Kihyun in his side of the park.

You threw him a frowning look just when you knew he was not looking. You really did not understand how someone could manage to do what he had just done. Both adults and kids respected him and listened to his admonishment. It was unbelievable how people just seethed down when he was talking and you hated it. Minhyuk was always so cheerful, every single day, every single week, during his shift and his breaks, it was like nothing could stop him from smiling and playing around and joking with everyone. Mothers loved him, kids adored him. Flocks of girls swarmed around him the whole summer, giggling and squealing when he took off the staff shirt because it was hot or to go dive in because some idiot had breathed underwater.

But what irked you to no end was he had the rights to show you where you did wrong eve if you did not like it, he was good at being a lifeguard, he liked his job and knew how to deal with people, he was smart and diligent. If that was not enough, like he was not already perfect just like that, he had been blessed with such good looks the first time you saw him you had stuttered so hard you had to introduce yourself twice.

You were so deep in your thoughts, trying to convince yourself that you did not have a huge crush on Minhyuk, that Changkyun had to shook your shoulder to get your attention.

“When are you going to stop pretend that you hate Minhyuk?” he asked, grinning ear to ear. Changkyun was your best friend and probably knew you better than yourself. He had noticed since the first day your crush on Minhyuk and did not waste a single chance to make admit it. You, on the other hand, were trying not to commit to reality for as long as you could.

“Don’t you have towels to fold or something?”

“You are so funny. I’m on break” Changkyun leaned over your chair and then raised his eyebrows “You should really stop trying to seem mad at him. The sexual tension is kinda embarrassing actually, even Hyunwoo knows you are crushing so hard-“

“Shut up, Changkyun”

“Keep on denying but the longer you wait, the fewer chances you have to get him” Changkyun nodded to the other part of the pool and you quickly looked over, silently cursing yourself for looking so damn desperate. Minhyuk was leaning over a waterslide, one of his most dazzling smiles painted on his plush lips, shamelessly flirting with a cute girl in a pink bikini. You frowned and your thoughts wandered to your white staff shirt and your black single piece swimsuit. You found yourself wishing you were half as cute as that girl.

“As if he would ever look at me like that. Because he hates me”

“Sure he does” Changkyun rolled his eyes dramatically and with a last pat on your shoulder, leaving you to drown back in your thoughts.

Keep reading

i’m probably sullying the names of neil gaiman and sir terry pratchett and their comedic masterpiece Good Omens by associating them with homestuck in any way shape or form BUT. you know adam’s dad? his real dad, not satan? mr young? he serves the exact same narrative purpose as john’s dad (and jane’s dad) in homestuck. they have no personality beyond Suburban Dad. they look at all these outlandish, surreal events happening and they’re like *wags finger* i hope you’re staying out of trouble son. their role is fascinating because they work as a stabilizer, a paragon of normalcy against which the events of the story are highlighted and enhanced. they are, in fact, so ridiculously normal that they become a kind of supertextual force on par with fate, serendipity, or destiny. the Dads embody suburban dadness so well that they would be terrifyingly powerful in their power over the main character and the narrative if they weren’t too dadly to misuse it

Imagine!Pregnant - Namjoon

Pairing: Kim Namjoon || Rap Monster x Female Reader

Rating: G

Summary: Imagine telling Namjoon he’s going to be a father



The sound of the running water echoed in your ears as you mechanically ran your hands under the faucet, hardly feeling the water. Your mind raced at a thousand thoughts a second but couldn’t focus on a single one. Wiping your hands on the towel, you shakily picked up the little white stick resting on the counter, a tiny pink plus sign staring back at you. Taking a breath, you glanced up at your reflection, meeting your own eyes and suddenly every thought in your head came to a screeching halt except one: holy shit you were pregnant. Holy SHIT, you were pregnant! Holy shit…you were pregnant.

A small smile spread across your face as a giddy laugh escaped you. The past week or so, you had started feeling nauseous and the smell of freshly brewing coffee had sent you to the bathroom on a few occasions. That, plus the slight bloating and a quick glance at the calendar had you racing for the nearest drug store after work. Now that you knew for sure, there was just one thing on your mind; how were you going to give the news to the soon-to-be father?


“Babe, I’m home!”

The front door slammed shut as your husband came bustling down the hallway, his bag bumping into the wall as he turned to take off his shoes. You giggled as you heard him curse, his clumsy being knocking over some cardboard boxes you had put near the door to take out to recycling later. His head popped around the corner and lit up in a grin as he saw you.

“Hey baby~ I’m home.” You welcomed him home with a kiss, his long arms wrapping around your frame and lifting you up for a moment. He kissed the side of your head and hummed a little tune, taking in the scent of your hair. Pulling away a little, he asked how your day was.

“It was alright, nothing special really. Are you hungry? Dinner will be ready soon if you wanted to shower and change first.”

Namjoon nodded heavily, picking at his lightly sweat-soaked shirt. “Yeah that would be great. Hobi worked us pretty hard today with the choreography, so a shower sounds amazing.”

You smiled and nodded, nudging him off to your shared bedroom. He gave you a toothy grin, lightly slapping your ass before running off, narrowly avoiding your hand as you went to slap him. Chuckling to yourself, you turned back to the stove, your mind and heart racing as the moment to tell him loomed closer.


“…and he danced the rest of the show with Taehyung on his back. I swear, Kookie never ceases to amaze me with that strength and stamina.” Namjoon popped another forkful of food into his mouth as he recalled their latest concert, entertaining you with stories. You shook your head, marveling at how much Kookie had grown in the past few years, before standing to take your empty plates to the kitchen. Namjoon quickly stood, taking the plates from you, shushing your protests and saying he should wash up since you did the cooking. Relenting, you handed him the plates. “Go ahead into the living room and put something on, I’ve been waiting for a quiet night and a day off to just cuddle on the couch with you.” He gave you a wink as he passed into the kitchen and you scoffed. Cuddling was never just cuddling when it came to Joonie (hence the reason you were now nervously rubbing your lower belly).

You settled into the couch, arranging and rearranging the brown paper bag lying on the coffee table, unable to keep still for very long. The water turned on in the kitchen as Namjoon washed the dishes, faint humming and lyrics drifting out to you as he sang to himself. His voice calmed you immensely and you leaned back into the couch, smiling and thinking about him singing and rapping to your future kids. The water soon shut off and Joonie’s loud footsteps pattered into the living room.

“Couldn’t find anything interesting?” He gestured to the TV, still off.

“Actually, I went to the library and got you a couple of the books on your reading list today. Thought you might enjoy taking a look at those.” You nodded towards the bag on the table. Namjoon’s eyes lit up and he jumped over the table to take a seat next to you. Giving you a quick kiss on the cheek, he pulled the bag to him.

“You are the greatest and I love you, have I told you that recently?”

“About 20 minutes ago during dinner since I made your favorite.”

“Ah yes, far too long ago then, if you ask me.”

You giggled and watched him as he opened the bag, light grunts of approval escaping him as he looked at each book. His movements suddenly stopped as he thumbed through the books, a look of confusion passing over his features. “Baby, did you pick up some books for a friend today too?”


“Are you sure? Maybe you grabbed someone else’s then by mistake.”

“I don’t think so. Why, are there some strange books in there?”

He shrugged and pulled them out of the bag, flipping them over to read the titles to you. “Well, there’s this one, ‘A Guide to Parenthood: Everything you need to know about being a new parent’, and this one, ‘1001 Games to Play With Your Baby’.” He held them up for you to see, giving you a confused look.

You smiled nervously, fidgeting lightly in your seat. “Um, nope, no, those are, uh, those are for you- for us actually I guess.”

He brow furrowed even more. “For us? I don’t- why would we need parenting books when we don’t haaa….” His words tapered off, shoulders slumping as his gaze turned from the books to you almost comically slow. You bit your lip in anticipation. “Are you… are you p-pregnant?” he asked, voice cracking slightly.

You nodded, a breathy ‘yeah, I am’ leaving you. Namjoon was completely still, just staring at you with wide eyes and mouth slightly open in shock before he flung the books off his lap, leaping towards you with a happy screech and pulling you up into a hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck, laughing, as he screamed and jumped around, unintelligible words of joy falling from his lips. He pulled away, bright grin stretched across his face and you lightly dabbed at the tears at the corner of his eyes with your sweater, completely ignoring your own happy tears as they trailed down your cheeks. Namjoon let out a breathy laugh and wiped at your eyes with his own sleeve before pulling you into another hug and burying his face in the crook of your neck. The two of you stayed like that for minutes, basking in the warmth and joy of the moment before Namjoon pulled away with a small gasp.

“Where are we going to put the baby’s room? Do you know the gender yet? I should start getting it ready- we’ll need a crib, a dresser, some shelves- should we start getting toys and clothes yet? Oh god, I have to tell my mom, she’ll go crazy! No wait, maybe we shouldn’t tell her yet… Oh! I should get-“ You slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Babe, shush! I’m barely 7, maybe 8 weeks along. We have plenty of time to tell everyone and get things ready.”

He nodded, lips pulling back up in to a bright smile, and sighed dreamily. “Sorry, I’m just so happy. A baby! I can’t believe it… I’m going to be a father.”

“You’re going to be an amazing father~”

He laughed and gave you a kiss, then another one, then another. You giggled and pushed him away as he pulled you closer, peppering your face with kisses.

“Is it alright if I tell the guys? They’ve been waiting for this.”

You nodded, nerves and excitement rushing through you again at the thought of telling the rest of the guys. They were going to go crazy over the news! You could only imagine what it would be like to be pregnant with 6 brothers looking after your every need and a husband who would probably literally go to the moon and back, cross oceans, and walk through fire if you asked him too.

You lay your head against his shoulder, watching him type out a message to the guys, telling them he had some news to tell them during practice tomorrow and giggled. “Watch out for Tae-Tae when you tell them. You know he’s been dying for us to have a child ever since his wife had one. He’ll be dragging that little girl over here every day for a playdate.”

Namjoon’s fingers stilled over the phone, a look of exaggerated disgust crossing over his face. “Hmm, maybe we shouldn’t tell them…” You scoffed and lightly punched his side, pulling a laugh from him. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding.” He kissed the top of your head. “That actually sounds kind of fun. I can’t wait~.”