scratch that i am abusing them

when people tell you that you don’t have a right to be salty about your situation

Like bitch! I have a fucking personality disorder that consumes my whole fucking existence. I have no idea who the fuck I am or what I even like because I take other people’s characteristics and opinions and slap them onto myself because I have NOTHING. None of my friends actually like me. Not a single fucking one of them. It’s not even assumption (although assumption and paranoia are other reasons bpd is bullshit). They have told me i’m abusive and manipulative and an asshole. The best part is I can’t control ANY OF IT, even though I really fucking wish I could. Actually scratch that. The best part is that i’m not even supposed to TALK about this bullshit because that means i’m being “manipulative” and “just wanting attention.” I can’t even talk about my fucking personality disorder because it makes other people UPSET. Like I’M not the one who deserves to be upset because of the shit I deal with every second of every fucking day

So fuck off. I’m gonna be as salty as I fucking want and you all can eat my fucking ass

Things I have learned from Fifty Shades of Grey (part 4/?)

1. I find it astounding that a student graduating from university doesn’t have an access to a computer/internet.

2. “I don’t like to share” - Christian, sharing is caring. Plus, she’s her own fucking person, you insensitive douche.

3. Ana still thinks he’s making love to her. Poor poor soul.

4. “The sooner I have your submission, and we can stop all this. You, defying me.” Ugh ugh ugh ugh.

5. Ana recognizes sexual abuse when she hears about it, just not when it’s happening to her. Because fuck logic.

6. “My inner goddess sits in the lotus position, looking serene except for the shy, self-congratulatory smile on her face”. Just…what…even. Dude.

7. Oh, of course, we have guys thinking that “Hey, if I kiss you, you’ll totally be into me and we’ll be happy and get married and have babies. But, because you won’t willingly kiss me, because you’re not attracted to me, I’ll force myself on you so that you figure out that you are secretly attracted to me and you’ll do what I want.” Please go throw yourself off a cliff, Jose. Thank you.


9. Falling asleep while reading said contract. Wake me up when September  this book ends.

10. This is making my skin crawl.

11. Ana is angry and offended. GOOD.

12. Thing is, he’s doing to her what’s been done to him. I find that disturbing. A bit understandable, because if he grew up with this kind of sexual behavior, it’s normal (to him). It’s the only thing he knows.

13. Yes, Ana, listen to your subconscious. We all know she’s the most sane person here.

14. Her inner goddess is a moron. “We’ll end up alone with lots of cats and your classic novels to keep you company.” Choose the cats! CHOOSE THE CATS!

15. How can you be so technologically impaired as a university graduate in 2011?


17. An I right to feel wrong that she hasn’t signed the contract yet, but he’s still doing stuff to her?

18. I do not like Christian.

19. When things don’t go your way, hey, use sex as a weapon, that should smooth things over. Christian is a dick to Ana. He’s fucking up this girl so badly (metaphorically speaking, of course) it’s saddening to read.

20. Christian has commitment issues? Oh honey, that’s so far past the line, that you can’t see the line. The line is a dot to you.

21. The fact that he can persuade/intimidate her to do something while he’s away should be raiding so many red flags.

22. Relinquishing your beliefs and what makes you comfortable for fear of some dude not wanting you anymore… No, Ana, no.

23. Oh, sweet lord, can’t the men in this book ever take “no” for an answer? Especially when it’s said repeatedly?

24. Oh, look, she’s crying because she won’t compromise her beliefs for someone she just met, who only wants her because he’s attracted to her. Wait, scratch that. She does compromise them.

25. And we’re moving on into sex dream territory. I cannot contain my excitement. I am giddy with joy.

26. What is it with this author and the need to state a character’s first and last name on almost every page? Does she think we’ll forget? Because trust me, I will not forget. I will have nightmares. Never forget.

27. Sure, abandon your wants and needs (like wanting a romance, a normal relationship, reciprocated feelings) for fear of losing the dude. Everyone repeat after me: abusive, manipulative douchebag (yes, I have broadened my vocabulary, because it didn’t quite cover it anymore)

28. I will pay good cash for someone to murder Ana’s inner goddess. I am not kidding. 

29. I honestly can’t wrap my head around something, so bear with me: Ana has not been interested in sex for 21 years (at all, literally nothing), but as soon as she meets Christian, she’s all over the place, and everything has happened in the span of less than a couple of weeks. Am I wrong to find this extremely unrealistic? I don’t know, man.

30. And he’s ruining her graduation for her. Yes, he is. Yes, he is.

31. “My inner goddess is not pleased” - Your inner goddess is a pain in my ass.

32. “My thoughts turn to Christian…he won’t like this”. And so it begins *sigh*

33. The Twilight parallels are making me cringe and I want to run far, far away.

34. “You know it’s going to be good, don’t you, baby?” Ugh, stop. NO. You manipulative piece of shit.

35. So, the idea is that she should try for something she doesn’t want/for someone she isn’t, but gosh, heaven forbid you do the same thing, Christian. I am running out of words to express my annoyance at this…man.

36. Say good-bye to free will, Ana. Wave your farewell. Bon voyage. It was nice knowing ya.

37. I am officially at the half mark. I have a feeling this will not get any easier. Have emergency back up on call. I’m going in.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

PSA to Daryl haters

I am really tired and sick whenever I read about all the bashing up Daryl gets. Why do some people hate Daryl so much? I have seen his ’damaged quality’ character grow so much and inspire me in the process because I can to relate it. I saw him grow from S1 to S6 from a volatile, wont trust anyone to some one people respect and listen to. Some one who learn to trust others, found his sense of purpose and self-value; some one who never had a home or family who finally found one amongst a rag-tag group of survivors. 

But he’s still got a long way to go and his story has not been fully told.

“We know all sorts of things about the characters that we haven’t revealed, [But] We’re not holding back information on Daryl’s sexuality as any sort of big reveal. The fact that there’s still a question as to what Daryl’s orientation is in Season 5 absolutely speaks to Daryl’s character; he is a very guarded, very closed-off individual in a lot of ways. We have been able to see him ever so slowly open up and show the other characters aspect by aspect as to what makes him tick. That’s been a very satisfying journey for all of us on the creative side to portray. [And] he’s still on that journey. This is a character who is going to continue to grow closer to the other characters, [and] let his guard down, and let them see just who he is, in every way.” (Scott Gimple, The Mary Sue, August 2014)

I am still waiting for closure on his past abuse history, the whole ambiguity of his sexuality/intimacy issue. For him to fall in love, for him to open up further and for him to have someone all for himself.

 Daryl’s popularity was built from scratch – he built it himself, he didn’t come with a ready fanbase from the comics (he’s not in the comics for those oblivious) like Tyrese or Abraham. He grew from a recurring cast to 8th placing in the cast in S2 to 4th placing in S3 and 2nd placing right after Andrew S4 onwards and that is his own hard work. He does not owe it to anyone but himself and the writers as well as the producers who allowed him the freedom and space to help build the character (they don’t agree to everything he says, he wanted a dog and the producers said no way). And he definitely does not owe it to any sour-grape Daryl haters.

 "I would have to credit Norman Reedus a great deal for how his character developed just because it was the first time in the show, in real time, watching the actor read the lines the way they did, seeing the choices that they made inform what went into who that character was,“ Kirkman said. (Design and Trend, Oct 17, 2015)

 Everytime I hear some one say , some blonde girl died for his manpain, I am thinking WTF, its a zombie apocalypse , people die. So why don’t you say, Lori and Shane died for Rick’s manpain or heaven forbid, Sophie, Mika, Lizzie and Tyrese died for Carol’s woman pain. Someone close to someone always dies and the person close to them suffers – why you gotta zone in on Daryl and say stuff like manpain? So what , just because he’s tough and bad ass and all, he can’t have emotions and feel pain – WTH?

 And this overused, ridiculous argument that Daryl steals everyone’s else screen time or character importance like Tyrese’ or Abraham (oh , yeah, someone said Daryl stole Abe’s RPG moment of glory). He does not get enough screen time as it is– his story arc is slow but its not complete yet and I think this is the same for many characters on the show and so it baffles me when people zoom in on Daryl and say that his growth is stalled or his story arc has become lame. The show varies from the comic because the showrunners want it to be different. Not everything or everyone in the comics is going to be same as the show. Deal with it. The story will be told either way. In fact Kirkman himself commented that the best part of the show is Daryl Dixon.

“Daryl Dixon is my favorite element of the television show. And when we saw Norman Reedus, all of the producers kind of got together, and we were like, ‘We love this guy. We’ve got to get him in the show somehow.,’ and so suddenly, Merle had a brother named Daryl.” (Sundance TV, April 2014)

 You wanna fight the creator of the resource material on that?

 And this whole “will it /will it not happen C&ryl thing”, Daryl gets dragged in the soil as well– like is it written in the stars that Daryl belongs to Carol just because she was the first one to reach out to him?  I only saw a platonic wonderful relationship between the two and Daryl gets bashed up when Tobin and Carol kiss. 

 Yes, I am fangirl and unlike conveniently assumed by many, I don’t love him just because he’s got rippling biceps, got the sexiest voice or is eye-candy (sure, that helps) but I also have the utmost respect for him because he’s shown that one can become greater in character despite your past. I also respect Norman who’s been able to portray and grow realistically this character that many can relate to and love so much over the years.  

Now, people are already saying that with Jesus’ and Dwight’s appearance, the show runners better not steal their storylines/scenes and give it to Daryl. Heaven forbid, Daryl and Jesus hook up (which I am hoping for) and people start bashing up Daryl that Jesus was made gay for him (in the comics, he’s gay, people) and the nerve of him making the most-badass character on the comic his boyfriend. 

Thing is, Daryl like so many other things in the show are the wildcard and things will change as and how the writers want to tell the story. And as fans, we can only hope that we get great storytelling, me included.

Yes, Daryl Dixon is immensely popular and has legions of fangirls (and fanboys) - DEAL WITH IT

Yes, Daryl Dixon is AMC’s golden boy and sells a ton of merchandise and makes lots of money for them  - DEAL WITH IT
Yes, Daryl Dixon is a fan favorite and hearthrob of the show and fans will riot if he dies - DEAL WITH IT

 So like every time, you don’t like something that happens on the show, you wanna make Daryl the whipping boy?  I don’t think so.

Go ahead - The zombie herd attacked Alexandria, blame it on Daryl. Denise died, blame it on Daryl, Glenn or someone gets lucilled, blame it on Daryl. It’s a cliffhanger, blame it on Daryl. Go ahead.

Ok, rant over.

Can we stop circulating the photos of Amber Heard sobbing hysterically in the car after leaving court? She’s going through something horrible, give her the space to grieve and attempt to heal. She has been abused and now has to cope with the after effects of that in the public eye, standing up against her extremely loved and praised husband. And not only is she dealing with all of this, she is now under public scrutiny where fans would rather take the side of the abuser because they like his movies than even humor that he did this to his wife, and unfortunately has to do so in a well known point in time where Hollywood consistently chooses to protect abusers (of all sorts). She is being scrutinized on the Internet by strangers who have no idea what they’re talking about, harassed and followed by news outlets, and has to go through what is arguably one of the worst points in her life all in the public eye, which has been updating almost hourly about her.

The least people could do is be decent. Don’t circulate those photos of her sobbing in a car in what should be an area of expected privacy. Let her grieve and try to heal from this mess. There are plenty of photos of her not sobbing to use if you’re going to write about her.

I have been abused in nearly every way possible and I am STILL dealing with those after effects. I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of recovery from them. I can’t even imagine what I would have done trying to do that all so publicly. Please guys, she’s a person and deserves to be treated like one. Just keep that in mind.

anonymous asked:

Do you think Milah's and Rumple's marriage was abusive? I really loved your meta on Milah's character. I've seen many people argue that Rumple abused Milah (and loves Belle because she's more submissive and better adheres to traditional female roles) and others say that Milah was abusive to Rumple (because of how she spoke to and treated him after he returned from the Ogre Wars). What do you think?

Milah was canonically emotionally abusive to Rumple during their marriage. (Rumple starts a conversation with Milah with the line: “Did you really wish I died?” That’s not healthy.) As evidence, I present the entire 2x04 episode.

Public humiliation is bad

Years later, Rumple killed her in a fit of rage. 

Murder? Also bad

These are both horrible things. (Some people argue that Milah “had it coming” but I am not one of them. Don’t kill your exes, okay? Even if they were terrible people.) 

Side-note: I’m scratching my head over the “Rumple loves Belle because she’s submissive” argument because cursed, amnesiac, or original flavor Belle speaks her goddamn mind. Speaking truth to power is kind of Belle’s hobby, and considering she just kicked her husband not only out of bed but out of town for breaking the “no attempted murder” house rule I don’t know what show these guys are watching.

Yes, I can really feel the submissiveness here

If you want an example of a submissive enabler, look at Charming. Belle has standards and enforces them no matter what. Rumple’s loved Milah, Cora, and Belle, and although they’re all different NONE of them is what you’d call a shrinking violet. Rumple likes ‘em sassy and with a working backbone, Anon– at least in my opinion.