scratch post

Maybe a stupid idea, but maybe it already exists

You start a game of DnD with a blank character sheet. Your DM has them all. You only discover stats and things as they become relevant. 

Like, “I rolled 7 on my constitution check”
“You get a +2 bonus so that’s a 9.” 
*Hurriedly marking it down*

Or 

“I would like to ask the innkeeper if there is anything weird going on in the area”
“Dragonborn are rare in these parts, so she is suspicious at your approach.”
“Wait I’m a DRAGONBORN?!?”

It would be absolute chaos but for a one-shot I feel it would be fun. Maybe all the characters have amnesia and they have to figure out what they can do from scratch.

clarz  asked:

FINA your tag about niall!!!!! #why is he such a DILF in training? LITERALLY! half the time i look at niall and he is precious sunshine beanstalk boy and then the OTHER HALF he is... well... DILF in training! like ur friend's successful father who always treats you like a Real Adult and makes you feel all blushy and too young and too gangly and too awkward and is so kind to you that you almost feel guilty for wanting him to DO YOU AGAINST A WALL!! or something. yknow. whatever.

LOOK, THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS NIALL CAN BE!!!!!!!! FOR INSTANCE!!!!!

HOT YOUNG ASSISTANT FIELD HOCKEY COACH AT YOUR FANCY BOARDING SCHOOL WHO ALL THE OTHER GIRLS SAY DIRTY THINGS ABOUT IN THE LOCKER ROOM BUT YOU WOULD NEVER BC YOU RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON AND AS A MENTOR BUT MOSTLY BC YOU DON’T WANT TO GIVE AWAY HOW DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH HIM YOU REALLY ARE:

YOUR FUN, RECENTLY-DIVORCED AUNT’S HOT YOUNG DOCUMENTARY-FILMMAKER BOYFRIEND WHO SITS NEXT TO YOU AROUND THE CROWDED THANKSGIVING TABLE WHILE YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH AND TRY NOT TO SAY ANYTHING STUPID OR LET YOUR THIGH TOUCH HIS:

YOUR DAD’S HOT YOUNG WORK COLLEAGUE WHO SHOWS UP TO YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY WITH AN ENVELOPE FULL OF CASH FOR YOU AND THEN DISAPPEARS OUT ONTO THE PATIO TO DRINK LIGHT BEER AND TALK BUSINESS WITH THE GROWN UPS AND DOESN’T EVEN NOTICE YOU SIPPING ON A SHIRLEY TEMPLE AND MAKING EYES AT HIM:

THE NEW HOT, YOUNG, AND PAINFULLY EARNEST YOUTH PASTOR AND CHOIR DIRECTOR AT YOUR LOCAL MEGA-CHURCH WHO’S GOT A LOT OF PEOPLE THINKING VERY UNHOLY THOUGHTS:

YOUR HOT YOUNG DENTAL HYGIENIST WHO YOU RUN INTO AT A FESTIVAL WHILE HE’S A LITTLE DRUNK WITH ALL HIS HOT FRIENDS AND HE REMEMBERS YOUR NAME AND GIVES YOU A HUG AND REMINDS YOU TO FLOSS AND THEN YOU TRY TO CONVINCE YOUR MOM TO LET YOU WEAR A TUBE TOP TO YOUR NEXT ORTHODONTIST APPOINTMENT: 

YOUR BEST FRIEND’S OLDER BROTHER WHO’S HOME FROM SCHOOL FOR THE SUMMER SO YOU START ARRANGING A LOT OF SLEEPOVERS WITH UR FRIEND AND THEN ONE NIGHT YOU RUN INTO HIM IN THE KITCHEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN YOU’RE GETTING A GLASS OF WATER AND YOU GUYS END UP TALKING AND HE CONFESSES HOW BAD HE WANTS TO BE KAPPA SIG PRESIDENT NEXT YEAR AND HOW HE’S SCARED THAT JAGOFF CHAD’S GONNA GET INSTEAD CUZ HE’S A LEGACY:

kahuna-burger  asked:

Hey, since you have trouble touching people without stabbing them, but like cuddling pets, have you considered trying to hug T'Challa? Or possibly getting Tony to put on cat ears?

you have a serious flaw in your logic. 

tchalla is a cat-man who has repeatedly tried to claw my face off. it was freakin traumatizing. you think a normal cat that doesnt wanna be petted is bad, try getting handsy with tchalla.

not that ive gotten handsy with tchalla. i like my face attached to my person, thank you very much.

tony put on cat ears a few months ago in a fit of confused sleep deprivation. the picture circulated through avengers-related group chats for weeks. nick fury called it, and i quote, ‘fucking adorable.’ tony is sometimes a no-toucher too though, so mostly we let him initiate contract when he wants to. so no, i did not hug tony when he was wearing cat ears. 

steve did have to carry him to bed though. and that picture circulated for months

2

RebelCaptain AU || Doctor Who

Jyn is a Time Lord who makes a new companion in a former solider, Cassian Andor. 

anonymous asked:

what's... what's the difference between owning and acquiring a ferret

owning: keith contacts a weird dude on the internet and a few months later comes home w a lil bed and scratching post and a ferret wearing a collar

acquiring: one day keith came home only to hear weird scuffling noises in his kitchen. he immediately pulled out his knife and checked out the situation, only to find a ferret digging through his cereal cabinet. keith warily eyed the ferret and debated moving it, but the ferret ignored him to continue eating shiro’s shitty old man cereal, so keith just let it be. he figured it would eventually leave through the open kitchen window (presumably how it got in in the first place), and it did. this continues to happen. keith has no idea who’s ferret this is, but he honestly can’t really bring himself to care. over time, he and the ferret eventually acclimate to each other. they learn to coexist and share the kitchen. they don’t cuddle but they do acknowledge each other, and keith likes to take selfies with it. one day shiro comes home to find keith chilling on the couch watching judge judy w the ferret and he drops the groceries.