scratch mix

So I’m making myself a ham and pineapple pizza.

I decided to do things the old-fashioned way this time - it’s a bit time-consuming, but you can’t beat scratch-made pizza for flavour.

I prepare the dough from scratch, mix the spices for the sauce, grate the cheese, slice the ham - and finally, I’m ready to add the last ingredient.

I look at the can in my hand.

This is not pineapple.

I don’t have pineapple.

I’m holding a can of creamed corn.



Eating Pie

Originally posted by http-erikaxo

Warning: Contains Sexual Content. View At Your Own Risk!!!

     Luke reached out to flick your nose and you let out a tiny groan. Your hand slapped his hand away and Luke gasped, feigning surprise. You gave him a smile and continued to cut up the vegetables. For about ten minutes now this was how you and Luke had been interacting. One of you playfully bothering the other, sending flirty glances, and dancing around the kitchen. It was your first Valentine’s Day as a couple and all you wanted to do was have a chill day inside. Luke had wanted to go out and shower you with gifts, but you wanted to keep everything low key. This of course didn’t stop Luke from spoiling you. When you had woke up that morning Luke was at your doorstep with flowers and some breakfast. 

You smiled at the feeling Luke’s arms snaking around your waist. His chest was warm as he pressed it flush against your back. You could feel his lips brush against your collarbone then press against your neck. You let out a giggle as he nip at your neck and then went to kiss your cheek. “You’re suppose to be helping me,” you whined out feeling Luke’s lips land on your opposite collarbone to show the same attention to your left shoulder. 

“I am helping,” Luke mumbled against your skin, reaching around you to grab a carrot you had just cut and popped it into his mouth. You stopped cutting and turned around to give him a look. “Okay what do you want me to do?” he asked, continuing to nibble on your skin until a bruise was formed. You tried to focus on breathing normally and pointed at the chicken. 

“Can you cut and season the chicken please,” you requested, pushing your butt back into him in an attempt to politely tell him to move. Luke’s hands rested on your hips at the action and his fingers dug into your skin. 

“Season the chicken,” Luke said, the words sounded almost forced. He had muttered it to himself and pulled away from you to do as you had said. Your idea of a romantic night in was cooking with Luke and watching some movies. Luke grabbed the chicken breast that was rested on the counter and began to open the package. The sound of water running echoed around your kitchen and Luke began to clean the chicken. “You know I don’t really know how to cook,” Luke told you, placing one of the chicken breasts he had just washed on a different cutting board. 

“You’ve cooked for me before,” you said, looking back at him with furrowed eyebrows. Luke chuckled at your words and shook his head.

“I can make easy stuff, but this-” he gestured around at the ingredients, “I’ve never made a chicken pot pie before. One from scratch at least.” Luke had finished cleaning the chicken and began to cut them up into diced pieces. You laughed at his words and dumped the cut carrots into a large bowl with the celery. 

“Well good thing you have me here to help you,” you teased, coming up behind him and laying your head on his arm. Luke looked down at you with a smile and his attention went back to the task you had given him. “Besides we’re not making it from scratch we’re just mixing everything together and putting it in the oven,” you said. A smirk made its way onto Luke’s lips and you could hear him playfully mimic your words under his breath. You went back to what you were just doing. Not too long after Luke had managed to distract you once again only wanting to dance to a song that had started to come on. 

     There had been a lot of sexual frustration between you and Luke over the last few weeks. Intense make out sessions and roaming hands had been fulfilling the tension between you two. It wasn’t like you had never had sex before, it was just that you and Luke hadn’t been intimate with each other. Four months of dating and not once have you two gone past dry humping. In the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day you had thought about finally taking the next step in your relationship with Luke. You became more sure of your decision throughout the day especially with Luke teasing you and marking your skin while the two of you cooked. 

Luke had sat you up on the counter and was standing between your legs. The food had been in the oven for less than five minutes and already the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Luke nibbled on your bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. Your lips parted and allowed his tongue to enter your mouth. Things were becoming heated and Luke’s hand trailed down your body and under your shirt. His tongue battled yours for a few seconds until it was just massaging yours. Goosebumps rose against your arms and you pulled Luke closer You broke away from the kiss and began to nibble on Luke’s jaw. Your hand reached down to grab his clothed cock and Luke jumped in surprise. He pulled away from you with panted breath and you whined “We should stop,” Luke said. He really didn’t want to, but knew at some point you would have stopped things before it had gone too far. You shook your head and reached out to grab his shirt.

“We don’t need to,” you said, almost sounding out a breath. You pulled Luke closer by his shirt and began to kiss at his neck. “Let’s go all the way,” you whispered, sucking on his skin. Luke’s eyes fluttered at the action and he gripped at the counter top. “I know you want to feel me too,” you whispered in his ear, tugging at his earlobe. Luke swallowed hard and he closed his eyes at your words. He had to be as hard as a rock. The tightness of his jeans containing as blood rushed towards his cock.

You had backed Luke towards your bedroom. Lips still locked together in a heated kiss. Luke moaned against your lips and his hand reached down to grip at your hips. His back hit against the wall as the two of you stumbled into your room. Your breath had become shallow and your lips were puffy at how harsh Luke was kissing. You broke the kiss and pushed Luke down on the bed. You straddled him and went back to making out. “Are sure you want to do this?” Luke mumbled against your lips a small moan leaving his lips as you began to grind your hips into his. 

“Yes,” you gasped, feeling his lips skim over your neck. Luke began to add more love bites to the display already on your skin. His fingers tugged at the hem of your shirt and the two of you split for just a second so Luke could pull your shirt off. It had been so long since you’d last had sex and just touching him right now made you wet. You’ve been naked in front of Luke before, so you weren’t shy to his eyes roaming over your body. You reached around you to unclasp your bra and Luke’s hands immediately grasped them. Luke flipped the two over and you let out a tiny squeal of surprise. You looked up at him with a smile and your hand reached up to run it through his hair. “I’ve wanted this for a while now,” you admitted, watching closely as Luke’s head dipped low to capture your left nipple into his mouth. Luke’s teeth tugged at it until your nipple became erect. You could hear him hum at your words and his hand reached up to play with your right breast as he continued to nip at the other. You softly moaned, hands still running through his hair. Luke’s lips parted from your skin and he began to kiss down your body. He unbuttoned your shorts and began to pull them off along with your underwear. 

“You know I’d rather eat you for dinner,” Luke muttered, pinching at your inner thigh. You let out a whimper at his words and your chest heaved up and down at a fast pace. His tongue felt warm against your already heated skin. Licking down from your knee and inching dangerously close to where you wanted him the most. You could feel a flood of wetness hit you as his breath fanned over your clit. Luke was quick to move away and you groaned in frustration.

“Tease,” you blurted, eyes narrowing into slits as you glared at him. Luke smirked at your words and he sent you a wink. He came back up to give you a hungry kiss. Your hips rose up to buck into his and Luke let out a low grunt. You could feel his hard on through his jeans and could only assume Luke wanted you just as much as you wanted him. His lips attached to your neck and you nearly melted into the bed as Luke nibbled at your sweet spot. “You’re still dressed,” you gasped, feeling exposed at the fact that you were the only one naked. You pushed on Luke’s shoulder and he plopped down beside you. Luke was quick to work on getting his pants off as you laid beside him panting. Your head turned over to the side and you stared at Luke adoringly. 

“What?” Luke smiled, reaching out to run his thumb over your bottom lip. You caught his hand and took his thumb into your mouth. Luke damn near lost it as you began to suck on it. “Shit,” he hissed, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he watched you. You batted your eyelashes at him and then released his thumb. His lips crashed against yours once more. You smiled in triumph when Luke began to make his way back down to your heat. His cock leaked precum the tip red at the thought of being inside of you for the first time ever. You jumped in your spot at the feeling of his tongue taking a long swipe between your folds. The only sexual act you two had done was Luke fingering you during an intense make out, so this new sensation had you in a frenzy. Luke took another lick and the tip of his tongue began to play with your bundle of nerves. “You’re soaked,” he commented, pointer finger circling around your entrance. Luke kissed at your clit and your eyes closed at the sensation. You felt him slip a finger inside of you and your hips rose. Luke began to suck and bite at your clit and your moans grew louder. He added in another finger and began to thrust them while still playing with your clit. Your hands gripped at the bed sheets and your thighs shook as the pleasure grew. You were in bliss, enjoying the pleasure Luke was giving you like a queen enjoying her luxury. It felt like Luke was eating you out forever and before you could even hit your high he pulled away.

“You have to do that more often,” you said, trying to focus on breathing regularly. Luke laughed at your words and you grinned at the sound. He was hovering over you and leaned down to kiss at your shoulder blade. 

“If you want to back out now just let me now,” he whispered, reaching down to stroke at his throbbing cock. You shook your head and looked up at him with lust filled eyes.

“I really want this,” you reassured him, hand reaching up to caress at his cheek. “Condoms are in the bottom drawer,” you told him, lazily pointing at your nightstand. Luke nodded and went to grab the protection. You had managed to catch your breath and grinned at the ceiling like a fool. Luke was once again hovering over you. He kissed you, but this time it was slow and sweet. You felt him run the head of his cock between your folds and a bit of pressure at your entrance. Luke was hesitating and he looked down at you wanting to make sure you really did want to do this. You nodded and then brought him down into another kiss. Not much was being said between the two of you and Luke pushed in. Your body tensed underneath him at the discomfort and your nails dug into Luke’s skin as he continued to enter you. Luke let out a strained moan at the feeling of your clenching and he paused for a moment to allow you to relax and adjust to him being inside of you. Luke’s head rested in the crook of your neck, his hands gripping at your thighs, and hips pushing in until he was all the way inside of you. A moan fell from your lips and you could feel tears prick at the corner of your eyes. Your dry spell had finally ended and it couldn’t have felt any better. 

“Are you okay?” Luke questioned, sending a few scattered kisses over your face. You nodded at his words and a tiny giggle came from you at his actions. “Good…this feels really good,” Luke breathed. You could feel him slide out of you until just the tip was in and soon he began a slow thrust. It felt a bit cliche that the two of you were having sex for the first time on Valentine’s Day especially with your music still playing in the background from the kitchen. You rose your hips to match his pace, heat rising between the both of you once again. Luke curled his hips into yours and his pubic bone brushed against your clit making your body shake at the feeling. Luke’s lips brushed over yours and he bit onto his bottom lip to stop the moans that were tumbling from them. 

Once the two of you had become comfortable Luke began to pick up the pace. Your bed began to squeak at your movements and your moans echoed about the room. You reached down between the two of you and began to rub circles over your clit. The pleasure increased and Luke head dipped low to add a love bit to your breast. He was soft with his touch making sure you were comfortable every step of the way. “Can I ride you?” you timidly requested. You were never a fan of the missionary position and just because it was your first time with him didn’t mean the two of you should keep things vanilla. Luke looked taken aback by your words, but he only smiled and pulled out of you. The two of you switched positions and soon you were sinking back down on his length and taking control. 

“So fucking beautiful,” Luke commented, resting back against the pillows as he watched you you ride him with your all. The angle allowed his cock to hit against your g-spot and your moans reached a high pitch as you continued to bounce on and off his cock. Luke bucked his hips up to match your pace, his fingers gripping your hips as he did so. You knew that area would be sore later on. Your hands cupped Luke’s cheeks and you brought him into a passionate kiss. His arms circled around your body and your chest pressed flush against his. Your tongues battled together and you began to clench around Luke. He was already close to his own release, hips raising up into yours at sporadic motions. Luke gave you a particularly sharp thrust and your body tensed in pleasure. He repeated the action again and you whimpered loudly in his ear. Luke smiled at the reaction he had gotten from you. The two of you were too wrapped up in each other to realize you still had food in the oven. The burning smell soon reaching your room and making your slow your pace as it hit you. 

“Do you smell that? Is something burning?” you asked Luke, staring at him with furrowed eyebrows. His expression mimicked yours and Luke thought for a moment before realization hit him and Luke’s face fell.

“Ah shit the food’s burning!” Luke quickly said. Your eyes widened in surprise and you got off of him before running to the kitchen. “Y/N! You’re na-” Luke didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, only grabbing your blanket from off the floor and running after you. You were standing naked in the kitchen, hovering over the burned food. To Luke’s surprise you weren’t upset, but only laughing at what had just occurred. He wrapped the blanket around himself and then pulled you into his embrace so that you were covered also. 

“I can’t believe we burned the food,” you said through laughter, turning in his arms so that you could wrap your own arms around his body. Luke shook his head in amusement and laughed along with you. 

“Well all the restaurants are most likely booked today,” Luke said, “Maybe we should order take out instead?” You nodded at his words and looked up at him with a smile. Luke squeezed you closer to him, biting on his bottom lip to stop the grin that was spreading out on his face. 

“I think this is the best Valentine’s Day ever,” you said, your laughter finally dying down. “Take out sounds great,” you smiled, resting your head on his chest. Luke’s hands softly ran down your body, adrenaline still running through his veins. You were right this was a great Valentine’s Day and it couldn’t have ended in a more perfect way. 

cute weather/seasonal AUs for your OTP

when it rains 

  • who wears the designer raincoat/umbrella set and who is wearing oversized polkadot rainboots and a huge yellow duck raincoat 
  • going for a walk in the rain and splashing in puddles 
  • making a “SPLASH US!!” sign and standing on the side of the road waiting for cars to drive by 
  • person A is Very Enthusiastic about thunderstorms and person B is Very Afraid so A makes up elaborate fake explanations abt where the thunder comes from to make B laugh and forget they were scared 
  • We Were Going To Go On A Picnic But It Rained So We’re Picknicking Inside Anyway 
  • which one seduces the other into standing under a tree before shaking the branch and soaking them 
  • gOING SWIMMING IN THE RAIN and making out maybe 


  • which one gets Super Excited for fall and gets pumpkin everything while the other one shakes their head and can’t wait until mint everything 
  • who rakes the leaves; who jumps into the pile 
  • one carves the pumpkin, the other one stares horrified and whispers, ‘YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE GONNA KILL IT’
  • which one buys ugly baggy sweaters and which one actually wears them 
  • one person wears fingerless gloves the other wears fluffy mittens 
  • who buys mulled cider, who buys hard cider 
  • who wears the really intense halloween costume, who wears a sheet with holes in it 
  • which person asks to do a seance in the graveyard halloween night, which one slaps them and says ‘have you ever SEEN a horror movie??”


  • BUILDING SNOWFAMILIES including their pets, house, dog, car,,,, 
  • Who builds the snowman, who eats the carrot nose bc they weren’t paying attention (”OH THATS what the carrot was for, my bad”) 
  • “Maybe Jack Frost isn’t nipping at your nose, but I can do that instead ;)” “Oh my god shut up”
  • who-can-find-the-tackiest-decorations contest that gets super intense and oh god did we really need a second tree and the plastic santa and the rainbow menorah and all of these garlands jesus christ 
  • who makes hot chocolate from scratch, who mixes it with a candy cane and calls it a day 
  • watching cartoon holiday movies together in a blanket cocoon and singing along to the songs bc lets be real everyone does it
  • snowball fights that end up forming barricades complete with les mis references and backup snowballs until person A is covered in snow and person B has to dig them out 
  • oh no we stayed out too long and need to warm up better share the shower/hot chocolate to conserve resources 
  • Who dumps snow down their partner’s neck and runs away laughing 
  • person A burying person B in snow and then kissing their forehead and walking away (”YOU MOTHERFUCKER YOU CANT LEAVE ME HERE” “I love you too I’ll be back!” “EXCUSE ME”) 
  • who wears the oversized scarf and hat, who wears a t shirt and skinny jeans no matter how cold it is (”DUDE ITS FUCKING -15″ “that’s WARM where I come from”) 
Watch on



Originally posted by marksheppardischarming

Summary: Dad!Crowley & Daughter!Reader - Crowley comes home to find his daughter playing hide and seek.

Word Count: 1877

Triggers: None, just father/daughter fluff

Y/N = Your name ¦ Y/E/C = Your eye colour ¦ Y/H/C = Your hair colour

Note: So, as promised, a little fluff after yesterday’s angst in Phone Call. This was fun to write so might do more little one shots featuring this duo!

Crowley had been called a lot of things through his well over 300 years alive, or well… Somewhat alive. Demon, sure constantly. Bastard, pretty much his middle name. Vindictive, who wasn’t? Son of a bitch, well, they’d clearly met his mother. King of Hell, soulless, heartless, crazy… Hell the list went on and on… But father, that was not a title he’d ever thought he’d hold again.

Fatherhood never suited Crowley. Therapists would likely say it was his own issues with his wench of a mother, or possibly his lack of a father figure or some similar obnoxious bullshit. He himself however just believed there wasn’t room for children in his existence, more now than back then. Emotions were chains and children were an extra weight on those chains made to slow you down on your rise to greatness. And he wanted to be great. Roman emperor level great, except of course without the backstabbing, iron poisoning and inevitable loss of power.

Plus, as all the stupid souvenir t-shirts said… He’d been there, done that, and completely screwed up his first child. His philosophy was simple, really. Child-rearing wasn’t one of those get back up on that horse kind of moments. If you failed the first time around you shouldn’t try again.

So, when Juliet, his favourite trusted hellhound, brought a crying infant back with her after reaping the ripe soul of a dealtaker, Crowley was clearly… Well, in a bind was putting it mildly. The hellhound was somewhat smitten with the baby girl. Taking a protective stance in front of the child if anyone but Crowley tried to come near and curling up around her to calm her hiccuping sobs.

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Having trouble creating a believable but original governing system for your dystopia novel?

Instead of just using one type of traditional government (i.e. monarchy, republic, democracy, ect.), which has been done waaaay too many times, try making up your own from scratch, or try mixing multiple governing systems together.

For example:

In my novel, Under Control I used a monarchy as the foundation of my government. Then I swirled that around with an oligarchy, threw in a pinch of plutocracy and a smidgen of totalitarianism, along with a dollop of fascism.

Sounds confusing? It’s really not. Here’s how the government in Under Control works.

There is one family who mostly rules over what was formerly the United States and Canada (which has been renamed) the ancestors of this family are the ones responsible for changing the world, hence why they’re in control. But there are other families that rule along side them also.

That’s where the monarchy comes in.

Only these select families rule over/have authority, which basically turns the government into an oligarchy. And that’s also where the fascism comes in.

Because the people who are not helping to rule the country have absolutely no say in what happens, and because only the appointed few have authority this twists it into a bit of a totalitarian government.

Little do the people know that the governing family, the face of the nation, doesn’t actually have all the control. There is an organization, the Internal Ministry, which is made up of the (supposedly) most upright citizens that can be found (within certain social classifications). They actually run the show, making the government system into a Plutocracy.

By mixing these ideas together I have created a deep, complex governing system that’s original, and will make the readers ask questions. You always want to keep your readers asking questions as to keep them reading through to the end.

Now why do you give it a try!

Up above is a chart of different forms of government to help you get started!

Stay rebel.

[ I don’t own the chart. just the advice ]


DJ Marky popping off is maybe the best thing I’ve seen all week.

Sex on Fire

Anonymous: can you do one where Harry is y/n’s best friend who He and her have feelings for each other :)) or suggest one similar to this that you wrote?? 


I would recommend listening to the amazing, legendary song by the one and only Kings of Leon whilst reading this. x

Harry’s POV 

Laying on (Y/N)’s sofa with my head in her lap was absolute bliss. Her finger nails lightly scratching against my scalp mixed with the slight buzz I was feeling from the alcohol was just amazing. (Y/N) was amazing.

“That feels nice.” I hummed whilst taking a swig of beer. She grinned down at me lightly before bringing her own beer up to her lips. Oh god, her lips. They were just the definition of perfect. Not too big nor too small. And I won’t lie, looking at her lips just made my lower region twitch. 

I grabbed my phone to distract myself and started to scroll through my music. 

“What you doing?” (Y/N) asked. I carried on scrolling until I reached a song that I knew she loved. My phone was already connected to her speakers and I pressed play. The sound of guitars started to fill the living room and I could hear her beautiful laugh from above me. 

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anonymous asked:

Petition for Mulder and Scully to adopt and raise Flukey. He's not bad guy. He just a worm that needs to be warm.

The end of the world looks like this:

It looks like The Walking Dead only without the zombies and the cars.  Hollywood got some of it right.

The end of the world looks like people died in their cars.  Because they did.  The virus was slick and swift and beat up the flu.  Beat up smallpox even.  

The end of the world, from where Mulder and Scully stood on their little house, beat up in the new world… The end of the world looked a whole like grass that needed to be watered, and vegetables that needed to be tended.  And one goat.

One fucking lonely ass goat in this new world.  And Mulder loved him.


The smell of over-dark coffee interrupted his train of thought as she joined him at the handrail.


“Kevin McCallister is eating through the fence post.”

“Mmm.  Shock collar?”

“You’re a brutal, brutal soul.”


William’s voice is that odd mix of scratch, scruff, and stardom.  The kid will either sound like Bruno Mars, or Keith Richard’s last soundtrack. They run to him.

Their earth is burned out. The bombs have dropped.  Nuclear, chemical.  You name it.  They are decades past the Zombie apocalypse.

“What’s up, son?” Mulder rarely calls him anything else.  A vestigial want, from the past seventeen years.

“Mulder, look at this fucking thing.  It’s all alone.”

Mulder eyes the little worm, living in the primordial soup of survival.  And he wants to burst out laughing.  His son has found a fluke.

“You know what that is William?”

William cuts him a look. “Fluke, Mulder.  It’s a fucking fluke.  He’s gonna divide though.  Can we keep him?”

The little worm sloshes in Will’s hands, bucks… tries to escape.  Back to the footprint of earth he’d inhabited.

“This isn’t a fish, Will…”

“Yeah yeah.  There are plenty of dead rats around, Pops.  And even if not…  This thing survived the bombs.”

Mulder rolls his eyes indulgently before producing the Hefty bag.  “Pick him up softly, Will.  He’s just a little fluke.”

On their way home, the little Flukie butts up against the plastic bag.  They are headed for Palo Alto, and somehow… the worm knows.

Birth.  Heat.  Blue heat.