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Barnes and You: Part One

Summary: You’re just a mere college student trying to get by; when you’re not in class you’re working at your local bookstore or writing on your laptop. One day, when Tony Stark shows up with the Avengers for the release of his new book, you’re starstruck at the sight of the metal armed soldier.

Warnings: second hand embarrassment, sexual tension

A/N: This is going to be a multipart miniseries that I’m writing because why the fuck not. Later parts will contain angst, fluff, smut, Jealous!Bucky, and much more secondhand embarrassment. Also, if you want to be added to the permanent tag list you have to send me an ask. Just. Send. Me. An. Ask.

(Part Two) (Part Three)


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Sleeping Beauty

Sentence Starter: “She’s behind the sofa.”

Pairing: Rick x Negan

Type: Dabble

Warnings: None, Pure Fluff, Non-ZA, Grimes family 2.0

Rating: G

Notes: This is me procrastinating doing what I’m supposed to be doing, it’s also my first time writing regan/negick whatever their ship name is. PS. Judith is at an age where she can have a relatively comprehensive conversation. This is pretty short. Hope you like it!

Masterlist

Originally posted by heartfulloffandoms

It was 10.36am and Rick could not believe he had only just woken up, he would have thought the screaming of one of his kids or the neediness of his grown ass boyfriend would have awoken him from his slumber by now. Then he thinks shit, what if something’s happened? He jumps out of bed, straightening his boxes and scratching at his bare chest. He opens his bedroom door and peaks his head out into the hall, investigating the empty corridor. It’s quiet, too quiet in fact. He turns his head to look at Negan’s side table and sees his phone there, Negan wouldn’t ever leave without that darn thing so they’re obviously still here.

He waltzes out the door and tip toes down the staircase, listening for any signs of his family. Running his hands through his greying curls he enters the kitchen, seeing Negan siting at the table reading the newspaper. He stands at the entrance, looking around for any of his children.

“Well look who it fucking is, my sleeping beauty. C’mere.” Negan says, folding the newspaper and placing it on the table.

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Exo as cats
  • Xiumin: races around the house like a maniac. Very snugly. Loves playing with the laser mouse. ridiculously sharp claws even though he's never caught anything
  • Lay: favourite place is the window. He can often be seen lunging there at around 3 when the sun hits. Was in a cat calendar
  • Suho: that one cat that kinda acts like a dog. Wakes everyone up by pouncing on them. King of kitchen parkour. Also likes to eat fruits??
  • Chen: meows loudly until you feed him. falls asleep on the tv remote. Loves dogs. Chases xiumin around the house.
  • Baekhyun: gets jump scared really easily. Talkative cat. Is very picky when it comes to cat food. Also loves sleeping in his scratch post box.
  • Chanyeol: has probably broken into where the food is kept and eaten it all. Loves water and baths. Probably was the cat in a viral 'skateboard cat' video. Loves sleeping in boxes.
  • D.O: the kind of cat that sleeps all day and goes hunting at night. Very affectionate when he wants to. Watches everyone from atop the fridge with sehun. Not a lap cat
  • Kai: lap cat. Very much a lap cat. Very cuddly. Really easy going and friendly cat. Let's strangers pet him. Always up for tummy rubs.
  • Sehun: gets grouchy if another cat is given more attention then him. Hides when strangers are in the house. Watches everything from atop the fridge.
8

video game meme: [2/7] video games → tomb raider: the last revelation (1999) 

Monsta X Reaction to you catching them buying condoms

Ofc you can, that’s why I am here, sweetheart ~ Enjoy and thank’s for the request

~~~

Shownu - I think he would only get the condoms when he was sure he was going to use them. He would only want to take that next step in your relationship if you were both up for it, which means you two would have already talked about it, so it wouldn’t be as akward if you found him on the store. I honestely can’t see Shownu buying the condoms just because yes. For you to make love, he would either talked with you about it already, or it would have to be you initiating it all, and have the condoms yourself, because he wouldn’t have them til you had that conversation: if you wanted to, if you were ready and all he found important. But still, even though you two had talked about it before, he would still blush when you saw him holding a box of condoms on the store. Shownu would say something cute to explain himself and then change the topic so it wouldn’t turn out akward. His first time with you would just be something really special and important, so he wouldn’t want to mess it up.

“You know… we will only do it when you’re absolutely sure this is what you want.” (there is no other thing i want more, my love XD)

Originally posted by kiihong

Wonho - This shameless boy would turn into a shy and embarrassed puppy. Yeah my friends, even Hoseok -the sex God himself- would get embarrassed. And it’s pretty obvious, if he hasn’t done it with his girlfriend he would get really flustered when being caught buying condoms. Wonho would be so affraid that you started to see him as a pervert that he wouldn’t even be able to explain himself. If you got mad or uncomfortable he would apologize hundreds and hundreds of times, and if you were just laughing he would match you and laugh as well, still pretty akward about it. Hoseok would be laughing but would feel so flustered that he wouldn’t be able to think in something else the next few days. He would want to explain to you that he only wanted to get prepared for when it happened and not because he was waiting for it to happen so soon. In the end it would be just an akward situation, but mostly for his side, who would be facepalming inside about how much of a pervert he thought he looked in front of you.

“OMG, Y/N, I am so sorry… I just thought that we… that this…I would…like…maybe it would be useful… in the future, someday? Don’t get wrong thoughts… I am not expecting anything, I swear!” *trying to explain himself but being too embarrassed to do it properly*

Originally posted by wonholyshit

Minhyuk - He would be shopping and would just add the condoms to the shopping basket because he had been thinking about it lately. Since you two have been together for a few months, he thought it was probably the right time to take the next step. Minhyuk would just forgot about them when you met him in the store and would kiss you and start a conversation, completely forgeting what was on the shopping basket. You would then shop together and when he was paying for it, you would notice the little box and look at him instantely. Then he would remember! The boy would freeze, looking at you, smiling and not able to say a word. He would just be SO CONFUSED. Why was this happening? He wasn’t even planning to buy them when he came to the store! Was this something wrong? Should he apologise or joke about it? He would be so shocked that wouldn’t even hear the shop attendent calling him to pay. When he left the store with you, he would be laughing and looking at his feet, blushing and finding the situation funny and horrible at the same time.

“Jagiya… I just got them because I thought we might need them… when you feel ready.”

Originally posted by starshipent

Kihyun - I feel like just like Shownu, Kihyun would just buy them if he knew he would use them. Since your make out sessions were becoming more frequent and more wet and needy he has been dying to have you. Kihyun would thought it would be a good idea to get prepared for when it happens, but would feel his vision going blurry as he was picking the box from the shelf and heard you calling his name. He would just die inside. Kihyun would left the box in the shelf and step back as you made your way to him, to hug him. You would find him pretty weird, as his cheeks went redder and he started sweating. Then you would understand, looking behind him to that whole section. You would ask him about it and he would just start to laugh while walking in circles and covering his face with his hands from embarrassement. Kihyun would take some time to be able to speak and to find the courage to admit what he was doing. He would just blame himself for even thinking in buying condoms before you two had even talked about it (gotta learn with Shownu)

“I wasn’t… those were not… I am sorry.”

(wtf minhyuk?)

Originally posted by swagplusderp

Hyungwon -  The boys have been teasing him about it and he has been thinking on when it would happen, so Hyungwon thought he should get prepared. I feel like going to the store would be already a little embarrassing to him since there were people there, watching him as he toke the condoms from the shelf. So, finding you on the store would just be the most ironic thing. You would be looking for a new shampoo in the store and look on top of your shoulder to find your boyfriend next to you, picking condoms from the shelf. When Hyungwon saw you ,he would burst into laughter and cause everyone to look at you two. He would be really embarrassed, but the situation was more funny than embarrassing. What were the chances to find you there, at that specific moment?! He wouldn’t explain much, just joke a little about it, to avoid making you two go through an akward situation. The scene would just be hilarious and he would be lauhing about it the entire week and blame the boys for what happened.

“You were not suposed to be here!”

Originally posted by ew-wonho

Jooheon - This cute baby is just so sweet, I think he would be the most caring boyfriend and look at you by who you were inside. So he wouldn’t even think about that matter in the beggining, he would find everything perfect, and he didn’t have to have sex with you to feel satisfied. But that day he was just feeling extra needy you know? He himself wouldn’t even know what was happening… was it the movie he watched last night or how great you looked this morning? Whatever, he just couldn’t take those thoughts out of his mind and noticed he wasn’t prepared for taking the next step, there was something missing. Jooheon went to the store to buy some suplies, to make sure he was ready for the future. Just look at how lucky he was: you were there too! XD And he was caught holding that box, right there. Jooheon would be one of the most embarrassed ones, Wonho would be mainly worried about you thinking of him as a pervert and Minhyuk would be more confused but Jooheon would be legit RED and want to turn invisible so you wouldn’t see how shy he was turning.

“I never felt so embarrassed before.”

Originally posted by mauloveskpop

I.M - You know when kids mess up and their mommy finds out? Yep, that would be how Changkyun would find this situation. He is so young and still a little bean, this wouldn’t be fair to him XD When you found him on the store and pocked his arm to greet him, he would look at your for eternities, shoked and not beliving you were actually there. I see you both staying in silence for some time, you looking at the condoms and he looking at you (how weird omg ). I.M would break the ice, looking at you and then to the condoms and then back to you again to start laughing and getting SUPER SHY and akward. He wouldn say full sentences, just walk around nervously, and staying quite, and looking around to see if people were understanding the situation. I think he would feel pretty bad afterwards, thinking you thought he was expecting to do it soon or thought of him as a horny child. He just wanted to have them to be prepared! I see him dropping the box and scratching his head, wanting you to change topic or to told him you were not mad at him.

“(…) This is not what it looks.” (ofc not)

(ft. Jooheon cuz’ Changkyunie was affraid to go alone, apparently)

Originally posted by swagplusderp

~~~

I find these so funny to write :P poor things…

~I also write for BTS, EXO, B.A.P, GOT7 and INFINITE if you’d like to leave more requests.

/GIFS ARE NOT MINE\

~Bye

Bon Appetit. Bucky Barnes.

Requests:  I’d like to first day I love your work. I was wondering if I could request a story about Bucky and the reader being the Avengers Tower personal chef and she gets him to open up by cooking meals for him. He won’t say much, but she get to know him through the foods he eats and doesn’t eat. I honestly have no idea if this even makes any sense. Please answer this privately if at all possible. This is my first request so I’m a little shy. Thank you!// Could you do a story where the reader is the Avengers personal chef and Bucky is attracted to her. To show how much he likes her, he cooks for her on her day off. When she discovers how delicious his food is, she starts moaning not realizing how it sounds like sex noises. Bucky gets so turned on, he has his dirty way with her. Thank you!

Triggers: Smut. Oral (FR/MR)

Tagged: @asmyworldslowlyturns @sammy-moo

Enjoy ;D

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WIP:More Box Braids Retextures-Just a little something that took me damn near a year to work on.Well off/on.. Lol.Inspired/mock up by my favorite Magazine.I posted this on my Flickr.Obtain more info about it there :) *runs back to my dash to catch up*

anonymous asked:

if you still do the character meme, can I request the vongola? ❤️

Sawada Tsunayoshi

  • what they smell like - Tsuna smells like one of those opens fires
  • what music they like - Like Lambo Tsuna prefers quieter music but he also likes pop music
  • something they collect - Manga books and headphones
  • what their bedroom looks like -
  • their eating habits - Sometimes skips breakfast and lunch but when that happens Nana gives him a lot more dinner
  • intellectual pursuits & other hobbies - Tsuna likes to practice his Italian by talking to Mukuro and Gokudera in it
  • their most prized position - Is his gloves because they help him protect his family

Gokudera Hayato

  • what they smell like - Cigarettes and gunpowder
  • what music they like - Rock and Alternative 
  • something they collect - Books about mythology and UMA’s
  • what their bedroom looks like -
  • their eating habits - Skips meal occasionally to buy cigarettes or pay his rent
  • intellectual pursuits & other hobbies - Likes to do crosswords and Sudoku to exercise his mind 
  • their most prized position - A folder of piano songs composed by his mother

Yamamoto Takeshi

  • what they smell like - The smell that comes after rain and raw fish
  • what music they like - Pop and Latin
  • something they collect - Baseball cards
  • what their bedroom looks like -
  • their eating habits - Has a balanced diet but tends to replace water with milk a lot of the time
  • intellectual pursuits & other hobbies - Likes to watch game shows like VS Arashi and Takeshi’s Castle
  • their most prized position - His mothers bracelet

Bovino Lambo

  • what they smell like - Candy and gunpowder
  • what music they like - Songs that sound like lullaby’s or with quiet music and a soft tune 
  • something they collect - Objects with cow print on it
  • what their bedroom looks like -
  • their eating habits - He eats massive amounts of food and would probably also eat mass amounts candy as well if Nana didn’t control his candy supply
  • intellectual pursuits & other hobbies - Lambo likes to colour pictures in a ridiculous amount of different colours
  • their most prized position - A locket that has a picture of his blood mother in it

Sasagawa Ryohei

  • what they smell like - Sweat and sports deodorant 
  • what music they like - Loud fast paced music that he can match his jogging speed to
  • something they collect - Boxing gloves and bios of famous boxers
  • what their bedroom looks like -
  • their eating habits - He would forget to eat half the time if Kyoko didn’t get worried every he skipped a meal
  • intellectual pursuits & other hobbies - Other then boxing he also likes
  • their most prized position - An old pair of boxing gloves given to him as a child by Kyoko

Rokudo Mukuro

  • what they smell like - Blood, irises and a tiny bit like fabric softener
  • what music they like - Heavy metal, rock and occasionally jazz
  • something they collect - Maps and postcards
  • what their bedroom looks like -
  • their eating habits - He usually only eats lunch and dinner unless Chrome or Tsuna manage to convince him to eat breakfast
  • intellectual pursuits & other hobbies - He quite likes games like risk or general knowledge
  • their most prized position - Probably his trident because it proves he’s alive and that he survived, that he’s awake and not dreaming about to wake up in that horrible place

Dokuro Chrome

  • what they smell like - Flowers with a small hint of anesthetic 
  • what music they like - Pop and love songs
  • something they collect - Eye patches, she likes the patterned ones the most
  • what their bedroom looks like -
  • their eating habits - She mostly eats junk food and chocolate but Tsuna’s mother insists on giving her bentos for lunch 
  • intellectual pursuits & other hobbies - Chrome likes flower pressing
  • their most prized position - An eye patch that Mukuro gave her

Hibari Kyouya

  • what they smell like - A faint scent of blood and cherry blossoms (which is extremely ironic)
  • what music they like - Rock or international 
  • something they collect - Hibari collects animal fact books
  • what their bedroom looks like -
  • their eating habits - He rarely eats junk food or meals without any meat in them
  • intellectual pursuits & other hobbies - One of his hobbies is watching birds fly around in his garden. He also enjoys watching animal documentaries
  • their most prized position - Their tonfas because his father gave them to him before he died
Sans Headcannon:

After settling in on the surface, Sans has nothing to distract him and hiding his emotions becomes even more difficult. Eventually his friends catch on, and Sans agrees to start seeing a therapist. He’s diagnosed with clinical depression, but since monsters don’t really function the same way as humans biologically his therapist isn’t sure if anti depressants would have any effect. Both of them are sort of inching their way forward in Sans’ treatment, and after a while his therapist recommends a therapy animal of some sort, like a cat or dog. Sans isn’t super into the idea, but then again he’s not super into anything right now, so he agrees. He’s not really up for the committment of a dog, and he doesn’t like the idea of a litter box or scratched up everything; but snakes are pretty low maintenance right?

He ends up with a little cornsnake or something, and at first it’s just another thing he has to deal with, like doing laundry or dishes, until his therapist asks him to bring his new pet in. He’s not really sure how to transport the snake so he just like puts it in his sleeve, except snek is not sitting still and is using his ribs  and bones as a jungle gym, which is ticklish and silly, and Sans spends a laughter-filled twenty minutes trying to get this snake detangled from his bones. It’s a bonding experience, and Sans starts to see his snek as a positive entity in his life; interactions become more frequent and fun, and eventually he just keeps his snake with him all the time in his jacket.

He really loves his pet and eventually starts acquiring more snakes, perhaps of the rat or python variety, and he’s smiling more and his coat is puffier and one day Frisk asks why his left arm is so big and Sans just unzips his jacket aND ITS FILLED WITH SNAKES.n HE’S JUST COVERED WITH HAPPY LITTLE SNOOTS AND HE’S SMILING AND ITS GREAT. Sans rlly likes snakes and all of this was to explain a funny little image in my head of Sans covered with snakes.

Obsessions often have a way to do with the ghost who died, or what they left unfinished in life. Spectra was obsessed with her beauty, and killed herself in misery when she became old. Now she sucks the misery out of children in vain attempts to make her beautiful once more. Skulker’s body was nothing but a blob when his hunting gang turned on him. Now their skins hang in his lair, covered in painful looking scratches. The Box Ghost lost his family’s ashes in a warehouse, and died when the boxes collapsed. Now he spends eternity looking for them again.

And young Danny, who died too soon? Wanted to help the world in any way he can. Now he spends eternity atoning for the mistake he made, turing on that portal. 

SO I made some “Calm Thy Ass Down” brownies tonight since I was wound up and feeling witchy and I gotta say they worked.

Pretty simple. Just some lavender leaves (mine were soaked in rain since it’s raining here, so that might have a role), sea salt, cinnamon, and ½ teaspoon almond extract ½ vanilla added to normal brownie stuff. With calming music blasting at the bowl during stirring.

Today, I fucked up by thinking that I won $5,000 at a car dealership.

This happened about three hours ago. I am still very ashamed of myself.

I got what looked like a scratch off game card in my mailbox that was from a car dealership a couple towns over. It looked like a standard promotion/junk mail and I would normally throw this stuff away but this card had differing amounts that could be won simply by scratching off the various boxes on the card. Well wouldn’t you know it, I had a combination of symbols that, on the key on the right side of the card, said I had won $5,000. I then read the fine print on the back of the card and it seemed legit. No red flags to speak of.

I am normally EXTREMELY skeptical on these types of things. You can’t just win free money, right? So I called the number of the dealership and was transferred to a man who acted very excited that I had won this promotion. I asked him point blank, “Is there anything else that I need to know? Did I really just win $5,000 on a free mailer that everyone gets?” He said all I have to do is come down to the dealership and match the code on the back of the card. If it matches and I can prove that I live at the address on the mailer, he would cut me a check for the amount that I won. Keep in mind he didn’t say “$5,000” he said “Amount that I won”.

I’ll be honest, and I was still skeptical, but I could really use that kind of money right now (I mean who couldn’t right?). I basically laid it on the line and said, “Listen your dealership is at least 45 minutes away. I am not buying a car today. This isn’t like cash back on a new car or anything is it? Please tell me this is for real. I cant afford to drive that far both ways if this isn’t what you are telling me it is.” Without hesitating, the man on the phone said “This is for real. If we verify it and you really did win, we will cut you a check today.”

So, I hopped in my car and drove the 45 minutes to the dealership. When I walked in I saw a few people holding the same mailer. I was suspicious but at the same time there were several levels of money, all the way down to like $25, that could be won according to the game card so I figured these people had some amount of money as well. I walked up to the sales counter and told them who I was. I said, “Hey I’m the guy that called about an hour ago. I won $5,000 on your mailer game”. The three guys at the counter cheered and congratulated me. One of them ushered me into an office and asked me for my ID and proof that I lived at the address listed. Once I gave him that he asked me for the game card. He then gave me a form to fill out to claim my winnings. He punched in the code into his computer and said, “Alright man, lets find out if you won.” “What do you mean, if I won?” I said back. “One of you told me on the phone that I already had won.” I began to shake because I knew I had been tricked, no, straight lied to earlier. This man looks me in the face and says “You did win. You won a spot in our contest to see if you won $5,000.” I was speechless. He said “Don’t you want to find out if you won the money?” I realized then that I had been scammed into driving to this dealership. I said nothing. I looked this man in the eyes for at least thirty straight seconds in dead silence. I was so angry I could barely get words out. I am normally a very calm, easy going person and I hate confrontation, but I was so ashamed that I fell for this. I finally said, “You mother fuckers lied to me. You lied and told me I had won this money. I just drove all the way from (my town) to (this town) because one of you assured me this wasn’t a scam to get me here. I asked you if there was anything else I needed to know, if this was for real, and you said it was.”

He responded by saying it wasn’t him, that it must have been one of the other employees. He then told me that my drive “Wasn’t really that far”. I lowered my head, got back into my car, and drove home.

And that is how I fucked up today. I really hope that the son-of-a-bitch that put this together wins a bunch of money in the lotto and then dies of a heart attack before he can collect his winnings. Thanks for reading.

TIFU: Internet`s best fucked up stories are here.