scrapbook organization

friend: hey, what’s up

me: Nick never loved me. He loved a girl who doesn’t exist. A girl I was pretending to be. The Cool Girl. Men always use that as the defining compliment, right? She’s a cool girl. Being Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker and dirty jokes, who plays videogames and chugs beer, loves threesomes and anal sex and jams chilidogs into my mouth like I’m hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang-bang –while remaining a size 2, because cool girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool girls never get angry at their men, they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner. Go ahead! Shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the cool girl. I waited patiently-years-for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, yeah, he’s a cool guy. Instead, women across the nation colluded in our degradation! Pretty soon every girl was Cool Girl, and if you weren’t, then there was something wrong with you.But it’s tempting, to be Cool Girl. For someone like me, who likes to win, it’s tempting to be the girl every guy wants.When I met Nick I knew that’s what he wanted. For him, I was willing to try. I couldn’t have been Cool Girl with anyone else. I wouldn’t have wanted to. Nick teased things out in me I didn’t know existed: A lightness, a humor, an ease. And I made him smarter, sharper. I forced him to rise to my level. I was happier for those few years, pretending to be someone else, than I ever have been before or after. But then it had to stop, because it wasn’t me! I hated Nick for being surprised when I became me. He couldn’t believe I didn’t love wax-stripping my pussy raw and blowing him on request. That my fantasy baseball team was not a labor of love. It had to stop. Committing to Nick, feeling safe with Nick, being happy with Nick, made me realize that there was a Real Amy in there, and she was so much better, more interesting and complicated and challenging, than Cool Girl. But Nick wanted Cool Girl anyway. Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your soulmate, and having him not like you? 

Lucretia is an information keeper, first and foremost. She’s a protector as well, but her title is “The Lonely Journal Keeper” for a reason. She sets herself apart, makes hard choices, and keeps wonderful records of all the things she’s had to do. She has a picture of her team, whose memories she then wiped! She keeps records of all the towns destroyed by the Grand Relics, she knows them all by name and death count. She likes writing notes. She definitely has a diary, wrapped in multiple levels of code and Voidfish static. 

But let’s take it further. Lucretia with a little magical recorder in her pocket, keeping an audio journal that’s all white noise. Lucretia who runs through notebooks at a voracious rate, and keeps them neatly itemized on long shelves in a secret room. Lucretia who takes pictures whenever she gets a chance, files them away in organized scrapbooks. One of the holiday parties, one of the quad at midnight, one of Maureen and Lucas in better days. A series of formal portraits of her Reclaimers and Regulators, which quickly devolved into play wrestling and silly faces. She gets a picture of every Bureau of Balance member, ostensibly for administrative purposes, and knows every face by name, even those long dead. There’s a little scrapbooking group in Neverwinter that she visits occasionally, when she needs an hour to herself, and she cuts and pastes and gossips with kindly grandmothers who know her as the quiet woman with a really weird array of family members and an oddly minimalistic style. 

She writes down the names of the dead in the margins of paper, just to remind herself to remember, over and over and over again, and I love her so much. 

Also, I’ve been slacking in the planner department. Today is Sunday so that means that I get to plan out my week. Picked up these Project Life cards by Heidi Swapp from Michaels and I’m in love with the gold detailing. They complement my planner and dividers so nicely. This week is definitely going to be a busy one - I have exams coming up and a few assignments due (one of which is stats). Need to get my butt in gear. 

Attention Chicago miraculers !

@miraculouspenpals and I are trying to arrange a meet-up for miraculers around the Chicago area ! We’re hoping we can all meet up at Harold Washington Library to hang out, watch s1 reruns, discuss, and help organize the scrapbook for @miraculoushawkdaddy! If you guys are interested in attending something like this, don’t be afraid to message us ! Please spread the word ! Thank you!

Originally posted by miraculeusecoccinelle

I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to love cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.
—  Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl