scout pyro sniper

(How the Mercs got they’re pets, summed up in less then five sentences each)

Scout: Scout caught a squirrel one day. Squirrel has been with him ever since. The Squirrel likes nuts and it sounds like it’s always chucking, hence the name. The End.

Engineer: A barn cat through and through, Ein takes care of all the mice, bugs and Spy’s that come into his work shop.

Sniper: Well, his pet rattlesnake bit him, but as he was slowly dying of poison, he thought that it actually looked kinda cute when it wasn’t trying to kill him. So, after a brief trip to respawn, he adopted the blind rattlesnake, named it Charles and Charles now lives in a bucket.

Soldier: Merasmus! There is raccoons by the pond!” “Leave them be!” *and five minutes later* “Merasmus, I am demoting you down from rank of lieutenant, for you have been replaced… with about eleven others.”

Demoman: He was drunk, shocking, when he first saw Jackie, his terrier puppy. She was pawing at the shop window, so Demo waltz in, traded a grenade, some gum, 83 cents and a bottle of his homemade gin, and walked out with a puppy… Who he forgot about when he woke the next morning with a hangover, and a non-house-trained dog sitting on him. Don’t drink near pet stores, kids!

Medic: The story of his doves are an ongoing case and can’t be discussed with the general public, but he got his white lab mice as a gift when he actually followed medical law. The eight mice he has now are actually the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren of his first mice! (Except for Marcellus. He’s adopted, shhh)

Pyro: Well, no one knows exactly what it IS, but apparently it likes raw meat, loves Pyro and it’s illegal in three different countries.

Heavy: Heavy has been collecting fish from every nearby pet-shop he can find. They are beautiful, don’t require much, and are not annoying like whiny cats and Scout. Perfect.

Spy: Spy’s cat is a purebred, black turkish angora , which he… acquired after a job gone sour. The cat is now spoiled rotten, but it’s quite literally a pussycat… It’s terrified of Scout’s squirrel.

9

Yes now there is a Blu team set! Blue is a very winter color indeed! xD Ah yes these are free to use! 

Just like/or reblog if you happen to use them! crediting isn’t necessary but very appreciated♡ ///i hope you guys like them ;v; 

If you want a red one here is a link to them~ RED TEAM ICON

(Curious ask Anon! Thanks for sending it in!!)

Scout: Kinda a jock, but also a loner. The school prankster, everyone in office knows his name, favorite food, and the names of all his siblings (whether or not they go to the same school, or when they come to pick him up)

Engineer: Such a try-hard student, ohmygooooood. Lowest grade was 1 A- in the third grade. Took dozens of math and science classes, and even some after school courses.

Sniper: Such a loner, he would climb up the courtyard trees to eat his food. I like to think he got into tech theater, did set design and backstage work. Average B’s and C’s, fucking terrible in geometry. Saaaaaame.

Soldier: SCREW THE AMERICAN SCHOOLING SYSTEM! He was trained by the ancient teachings of great generals and warriors of the past, and the courage in his heart! (high B’s, so pretty good.)

Demoman: Home-schooled by his parents in the way of Demolitions. Has a knack for the study of quantum physics though.

Medic: Sent to boarding school at a young age, got high marks in science and math. Very much a cookie cutter, quiet kid… he became much more exuberant when he entered Medical school, a lively character.

Pyro: Studied music at Julliard is the new rumor around the base.

Heavy: Loved reading as a child, SAMMMMMMMMMMMME, so immanently began studying to become literary professor, my hero. Got very high scores in Russian and Lit, not so much in the science and math department.

Spy: Private tutors, did everything and anything to get good remarks from them, not excluding bribery or blackmail, the little shite. Was infamous for his undetectable pranks, including the rotten goat cheese he hid in his teachers car for months.

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY TEAM FORTRESS 2! 

I could not ever thank this game enough for the wonderful experience of my past few years. I’ve never dove so far into a game or fan community as I have for TF2, by far my favorite game. It means the absolute world to me, and I could not ask for a better set of murder dads ❤

Thank you Valve, for them.

10 Things I love about Expiration Date

#1.

This face. 

Legend says it only happens within a millisecond, but once you see it, it’s chilling. Like if this screenshot doesn’t describe the personality of Medic idk what else would, guys. Dude is so ready to scare the entire shit outta Scout. You can see it in his cold blue eyes. That boogeyman smirk. His evil (yet groomed) eyebrows. Y’all, this man holds so much unadulterated glee at witnessing the pain and suffering of others, so much madne–

–aaaand he’s back. Everything’s cool. Hey doc what the hell is that?

“TUMORS!” :Dc

k then

#2.

So originally I took this screenshot bc of Spy’s eyebrow and Heavy’s annoyed expression of being awoken from his slumber….

but then I proceeded to laugh my ass off bc I also happened to capture Sniper staring off into space while contemplating his existence in this universe.

(I’m sure this is a common occurrence with him. He’s probably the type of dude that wonders if pigeons have feelings.)

#3.

Still in the same room, only this time Spy has been gravely insulted by the Scoot.

But look at the others. They don’t seem too exasperated with Scout and his doodles of Spy. Maybe it’s because they also think this meeting is dumb, maybe it’s because they actually knew Scout was going to pull this prank, or maybe it’s because they too think The Eiffel Tower Having Sexual Congress With Spy is a hilarious joke.

Either way, it’s nice to see the other mercs genuinely smiling at Scout and his shenanigans. It’s better than the common fandom theme where Scout is The Worst and Everybody Hates Him.

No, the other old dudes know how to kid around too (even though it’s still at the Spy’s expense, oops)

Of course, whether the Pyro is smiling at him too is something we’ll never know. Personally I think he’s just eyeing up that bucket. Imagine how different this whole video would have gone if Pyro took the bucket instead of Soldier. 

Probably not so different actually.

#4.

This goes to show that Medic is not just a sadistic doctor. He’s a sadistic doctor that cares about his friends and smiles at them when he passes by.

It’s like when you’re walking down the hallway to class and you see your friend going to their class and you smile and nod to acknowledge their existence. It’s such a nice thing, and of all ppl Medic was the one who did that.

“Interesting.”


#5.

If there was a looping video of just Demoman and Sniper playing their instruments of choice I would pay to watch it forever. Also, how did they get there? Did Spy just yell “hey assholes who wants to help me create a romantic dinner mood so I can teach Scout how to talk to a girl” and Demo and Snipes were like “ok m8 no problem B)”

I know we’re already used to the fact that these boys are mad talented, but I still love the fact that their instruments aren’t what you would stereotype them to play based on their personality. 

The dude that’s paid to blow shit up can probably play Beethoven, and the Loner Guy that lives in a camper van probably knows the tune of Careless Whisper by heart. 

I love that.

#6.

Once again I take a screenshot in order to capture the character in the middle, only to lose my shit at the person standing at the far left.

Look at Medic’s face. Yes, I get it, in context this is a ridiculous situation. I mean the last line said before that was “I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days”. This is almost Saturday cartoon material here.

But still, look at his fucking face. I just…

MEIN FUCKING GOTT VHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU FUCK

#7.

Speaking of horrified reactions. 

Thank goodness I know what the context is in this clip because otherwise I would have assumed someone died, or Armageddon had arrived, or something else completely unimaginable happened and there’s nothing that can be done at all, ever.

But no, it’s just a mutant tentacle monster. And this is right before Heavy asks Medic to ubercharge him, because he’s metal af.

All jokes aside, though, the reason why I am putting so much emphasis on these little miliseconds of expression is because these characters are 3D animated, and a team of people sat in front of a computer rigging these facial features to move this way. Even though these moments happen for only a second, they are still very telling when you look at them up close.

Besides, Heavy doesn’t make this face very often (as far as we’ve seen) and it’s something worth remembering (amirite, Comic #6??)

#8.

Ok, lemme tell you guys a thing:

If I was fighting a giant-tentacle-whole-wheat-bread-monster and it hoisted my ass several feet into the air, only to fling me back to mother earth with all of it’s strength, I would stay on my fucking back for like five minutes trying to get breath back into my lungs and wondering why tf I even bothered to fight anyway.

THIS DUDE get’s knocked on his ass, arms and legs akimbo and everything, get’s back up mid-fucking-tumble while reaching for his blade, and charges back into the fight like nothing ever happened. 

Seriously, it’s one swift motion, like a damn nature show. You could watch the video again but you’d have to make sure not to blink because it happens so fast.

 And the amazing thing is that all the mercs (and Pauling too) have this insane ability of getting fucked, getting even more fucked, getting back up, and then getting back into the shitstorm with no hesitation. 

Then again, what’s what the Gravel Wars basically are right?

Shit, Administrator was right, these dudes are straight up Plutonium.


#9.

“Good news! We’re not dying! We are going to live FOREVER!”

Oh that Soldier, always giving a laugh. Honestly, though, the reason why I saved this was because I didn’t realize for a long time that the reason why he was able to jump in on the conversation was because he was eaten by the bread monster.

It makes sense, because last time we saw him he was being dragged while screaming something about teleporting bread. He was probably just laying there in the monster’s throat, getting ready to use a grenade, when suddenly boom went the bomb and he received visitors. All this time I never put two and two together that he was stuck inside the bread monster before Pauling and Scout made it cool. Shame on me. That’s definitely a Soldier thing to do.

(Also, you wanna know what a bread monster and Soldier have in common? They both have a talent of cockblocking Scout.)

#10.

And the final one.

There’s nothing like a family portrait. If the video froze at this point with credits I would have expected to hear a 90′s family sitcom jingle.

What a video.