(How the Mercs got they’re pets, summed up in less then five sentences each)
Scout: Scout caught a squirrel one day. Squirrel has been with him ever since. The Squirrel likes nuts and it sounds like it’s always chucking, hence the name. The End.
Engineer: A barn cat through and through, Ein takes care of all the mice, bugs and Spy’s that come into his work shop.
Sniper: Well, his pet rattlesnake bit him, but as he was slowly dying of poison, he thought that it actually looked kinda cute when it wasn’t trying to kill him. So, after a brief trip to respawn, he adopted the blind rattlesnake, named it Charles and Charles now lives in a bucket.
Soldier: ‘Merasmus! There is raccoons by the pond!” “Leave them be!” *and five minutes later* “Merasmus, I am demoting you down from rank of lieutenant, for you have been replaced… with about eleven others.”
Demoman: He was drunk,
shocking, when he first saw Jackie, his terrier puppy. She was pawing at the shop window, so Demo waltz in, traded a grenade, some gum, 83 cents and a bottle of his homemade gin, and walked out with a puppy… Who he forgot about when he woke the next morning with a hangover, and a non-house-trained dog sitting on him. Don’t drink near pet stores, kids!
The story of his doves are an ongoing case and can’t be discussed with the general public, but he got his white lab mice as a gift when he actually followed medical law. The eight mice he has now are actually the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren of his first mice! (Except for Marcellus. He’s adopted, shhh)
Pyro: Well, no one knows exactly what it IS, but apparently it likes raw meat, loves Pyro and it’s illegal in three different countries.
Heavy: Heavy has been collecting fish from every nearby pet-shop he can find. They are beautiful, don’t require much, and are not annoying like whiny cats and Scout. Perfect.
Spy: Spy’s cat is a purebred, black turkish angora , which he… acquired after a job gone sour. The cat is now spoiled rotten, but it’s quite literally a pussycat… It’s terrified of Scout’s squirrel.