Getting my licks in before the coming unhappy decisions.
[ Justices SCALIA, ROBERTS, THOMAS, and ALITO convene in a dark room ] SCALIA: As our senior member, I call this session of Screwing Over Anyone Who’s Not a Straight White Male Gymboree into session. ROBERTS: Thanks, Tony. Sam, what’s our first order of business? ALITO: Holdover from last week, we haven’t figured out these Zen koans. SCALIA: Mother of…! More new-age paganism! ROBERTS [reading]: “In clapping both hands a sound is heard: what is the sound of the one hand?” SCALIA: Enigmatic clap-trap! ROBERTS: Gotta say, I’m *still* stumped. ALITO: Ditto. THOMAS: … ALITO: Wow. ROBERTS: …I never thought of it like *that*, Clarence. SCALIA [dismissively]: Fine fine, free your mind from the strictures of linear thinking and grasp the essence of the void, WHATEVER. Give me something I can USE. Preferably to undermine the separation of church and state. ROBERTS: Simmer down now, Tony. All in due time. ALITO: Next item, we need to schedule our meeting with The Man (To Keep the People Down). ROBERTS: Next Saturday? SCALIA: Can’t. Paintballing with Ginsburg. ALITO: Friday after? SCALIA: S'ok with me. ROBERTS: Any, heh heh, objections? THOMAS: … ALITO: OK, item three… SCALIA: Oh, I love a good trinity. [ From out of the shadows, a POOR PERSON creeps toward the assembled Justices ] THOMAS: …! ROBERTS: Tony, you say that *every* time, give it a rest. SCALIA: No, you give it a rest. [ POOR PERSON creeps ever closer, just an arm’s length away from infecting the Justices with its opposite-of-Midas touch ] ALITO: Is there something you want to, uh, say, Clarence? THOMAS: !!! SCALIA: Guys, did it just get a lot more disenfranchised in here, or is my hernia acting up again. THOMAS: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!