the signs at a formal party
  • Aries:probably downed vodka beforehand to get through it
  • Taurus:eyeing the fancy snacks... would they fit in their purse?
  • Gemini:charming everyone with their witty chatter
  • Cancer:telling everyone they look really nice
  • Leo:is the center of attention
  • Virgo:is probably nervous af and doesn't want to be there
  • Libra:is the epitome of good manners and charm while slyly insulting you
  • Scorpio:the quiet hot person sitting alone
  • Sagittarius:lightens the mood no matter what happens
  • Capricorn:socializing while thinking about how much they hate these people
  • Aquarius:at a formal party? you gotta be kidding me
  • Pisces:spends 10 hours in the bathroom fixing their makeup and hiding
PERSONALITY TURN-ONS

ARIES: someone driven who adores you

TAURUS: someone grounded, hard-working, sensual, & laid-back

GEMINI: smarts, banter, good looks, patience

CANCER: hard-to-get, cool, those who meet halfway

LEO: confidence, positivity, a “can-do” attitude

VIRGO: witty, driven people with a strong set of morals

LIBRA: loyal …& sexy! looking good in a tux is a serious bonus.

SCORPIO: subtle sexiness, quiet ones who you can draw out of their shell

SAGITTARIUS: smarties with a tendency towards the crazy, grounded but ambitious people

CAPRICORN: high-achievers, someone who will worship you

AQUARIUS: political/economic smarts, fast talkers, big dreamers

PISCES: gentle sweeties, artsy types with a spiritual side

the signs as high school musical characters
  • aries:sharpay
  • taurus:ryan
  • gemini:the skater guy who plays the cello
  • cancer:gabriella
  • leo:sharpay's dog
  • virgo:ryan and chad's bromance
  • libra:troy's treehouse
  • scorpio:that one girl's umbrella
  • sagittarius:the drama teacher
  • capricorn:troy
  • aquarius:troy's angst tears
  • pisces:a basketball
the signs + seeing other people talking to their crush
  • Aries:*squares up to fight*
  • Taurus:bitch what are you doing.. nobody even likes you
  • Gemini:*walks over to the conversation to interrupt*
  • Cancer:...... :) ... wyd
  • Leo:why is this person trying to be me so badly
  • Virgo:..what kind of trash...
  • Libra:how rude
  • Scorpio:who is this person ??? wtf?? do they want to die ??
  • Sagittarius:n¡ce !!
  • Capricorn:excuse me?? this is so disrespectful..
  • Aquarius:lmaoooo ok
  • Pisces:*screaming internally*
how to seduce the signs
  • aries:aries love the chase; make them come to you
  • taurus:food, good food and be interesting
  • gemini:be good looking; be chatty and flirtatious
  • cancer:understand them and be able to communicate well
  • leo:worship them!!! compliment over and over
  • virgo:be patient and be strong and often talk about how well u r doing
  • libra:they like classy looks; don't put them down!!!
  • scorpio:keep it real! show how much fun u can be
  • sagittarius:don't be clingy and don't mention commitment too early!
  • capricorn:they like maturity and powerful ppl!!
  • aquarius:be spontaneous !! and also look differ n cool
  • pisces:romance! be dominant but not forceful!!!

ARIES

stop breaking your lances
against their walls, achilles.

TAURUS

even kings need help
sooner or later, agamennon.

GEMINI

your kindness has won more
battles than their leaders,
andromache.

CANCER

there’s more woe in your
fair lips, cassandra,
than in their every spear.

LEO

can you hear it, hector?
this battlecry is calling
for you.

VIRGO

there hasn’t to be an
answer to everything, odysseus.

LIBRA

they say you wanted this.
from the first moment, yes,
helen, you did.

SCORPIO

in the end you were as
deadly as achilles himself,
chryseis.

SAGITTARIUS

run until your bones ache, paris,
and don’t look back.

CAPRICORN

you would sooner watch
troy burn than yield
your throne, priam.

AQUARIUS

you can never seize
the sun, patroclus.

PISCES

weeping won’t bring
them back from the grave, hecuba.

—  if the signs were at ilium that day // e.m.
HOW /CANCERS/ VIEW OTHER SIGNS

Aries: I like working with you.

Taurus: I like you and I might be secretly in love with you too… oops.

Gemini: I want to stay home with you and eat ice-cream but you never want to do that.

Cancer: I mean I don’t want to brag but, that’s my sign and it’s pretty darn cool.

Leo: Yes I like you but you’re not better than me sorry.

Virgo: Nice!

Libra: Shh, keep it to yourself.

Scorpio: WTF why do I like you so much you’re mean!

Sagittarius: -_-

Capricorn: You’re cool with me bro.

Aquarius: idk about this…

Pisces: Soulmates!

Zodiac signs as sweet treats

Aries: Pop rocks
Taurus: Pecan pie
Gemini: Skittles
Cancer: Red velvet cupcakes
Leo: Cheesecake
Virgo: Candy corn
Libra: Ring pop
Scorpio: Fudge
Sagittarius: Bubble tape
Capricorn: Peanut M&Ms
Aquarius: Sour brite crawlers
Pisces: Swedish fish

signs during a thunderstorm
  • Aries:stands outside challenging the gods to strike them
  • Taurus:napping to the sound of rain and thunder
  • Gemini:talking on the phone about how wicked the sky looks
  • Cancer:worried that it might get bad
  • Leo:mad about the rain messing their hair up
  • Virgo:counts the seconds between thunder and lightning to calculate how far away the storm is
  • Libra:too busy flirting with people on facebook or tumblr
  • Scorpio:happy that the sky matches their mood
  • Sagittarius:wants to chase the storm
  • Capricorn:worried that their house might be damaged
  • Aquarius:outside dancing in the wind
  • Pisces:wants to play in the rain yet scared of lightning so they end up napping
the signs as nightvale affiliations
  • Aries:sheriff's secret police
  • Taurus:world goverment
  • Gemini:radio interns
  • Cancer:strexcorp
  • Leo:vague yet menacing goverment agency
  • Virgo:carlos' scientists
  • Libra:city council
  • Scorpio:hooded figures
  • Sagittarius:station management
  • Capricorn:eternal scouts
  • Aquarius:news bloggers
  • Pisces:old woman josie's angels
Zodiac Sign’s Reactions When Getting Dumped

Aquarius - will tell their friends that you were not the right person anyways because you couldn’t carry on an intellectual conversation if your life depended on it, you were clingy, jealous and wanted a commitment and that’s the complete opposite of what attracts an Aquarian.

Pisces – will hit the couch and drift off into a spiritual fantasyland where they’ll create a dramatic scenario of why, why, why it didn’t

work out because they are the most sensitive of all zodiac signs.

Aries – will just brush it off and say that the excitement and thrill was gone anyways.  They’ll be off on their next adventure and pretend everything is great because they rarely show their insecurity to anyone.

Taurus – will pamper themselves at their favorite “foodie” store and select a grand meal to cook at home while bravely fighting back the tears because even though the bull is strong on the outside, they are very easily hurt on the inside.

Gemini – will call all their friends to let them know they’ve been dumped as it’s juicy gossip!  And while they’re dialing away, they’ll be making plans for the weekend to secure their next conquest because the Gemini duality is always wrapped up in a spontaneous and fun package.

Cancer - will block you as a Facebook friend, immediately cross you off their Christmas card list and then assign a ringtone to your name so that if you call, they can ignore your call AND get the satisfaction of ignoring it!  All this followed by a hasty retreat into their shell to sulk because that’s where crabs go to nurture their hurt feelings.

Leo - will buy new hair products and spend hours perfecting their mane so that the next time you bump into them, they’ll look fabulous and will be totally over it and you because living in the past is just not something they do.

Virgo - will immediately create a pie chart, insert the reasons they were rejected based on percentages and then sit for hours analyzing it because that’s how they roll.

Libra – will be left wondering what went wrong because everyone loves a Libra. Excitement, adventure and parties all mixed into a whirlwind of Libra as the center of attention.  They will make do with the decision and be off to create an exciting new balance in their life.

Scorpio – will figure out all the reasons why and then start plotting their revenge as they are not one that takes rejection easily.  The scorpion has a fearsome reputation because they are deep and intense and there is always more than meets the eye.

Sagittarius – will relish having their independence back and be on the road to their next adventure with no hard feelings because lack of commitment and emotion are what fuels their fire to explore the world, attached or not.

Capricorn – will evaluate the whole process and then organize it in their mind while keeping it to themselves because they are excellent at waiting a long time for something they want and if the door opens again, they’ll be ready with a new plan of action.

Source: wtfzodiacsigns.com

The signs as Harry Potter characters
  • Aries:Molly Weasley
  • Taurus:Ron Weasley
  • Gemini:Hermione Granger
  • Cancer:Neville Longbottom
  • Leo:Harry Potter
  • Virgo:Dean Thomas
  • Libra:Ginny Weasley
  • Scorpio:Draco Malfoy
  • Sagittarius:Fred and George Weasley
  • Capricorn:Seamus Finnigan
  • Aquarius:Severus Snape
  • Pisces:Luna Lovegood
  • **these are based on our opinion, not the characters' actual dates of birth (:**
Signs Respond to Fuckbois
  • Aries:*pulls down pants to show non-existent penis* "See that? Still bigger than yours."
  • Taurus:*rolls eyes with slight snarl*
  • Gemini:insert snarky comeback
  • Cancer:mumbles profanities under breath, barely audible
  • Leo:insults fuckboi until he is very much aware of his ignorance and the reasons girls think he is a dick
  • Virgo:*glares at fuckboi until he bursts into flames*
  • Libra:is nice because they have good manners, but is secretly judging fuckboi very intensely
  • Scorpio:kills fuckboi right there, at least mentally
  • Sagittarius:finds cure for the disease that is fuckbois.
  • Capricorn:sits there very politely, contemplating how anyone could possibly be that stupid
  • Aquarius:either punches fuckboi in the face or ignores him. there is no in between.
  • Pisces:is upset by fuckboi, but handles it like the boss ass biach she is
  • -Alex