albus: oh fuck, i forgot my earbuds for this 4 hour long bus trip! it’s a shame no one is willing to share their music!

scorpius: *sighs & holds out an earbud* here

albus: *cackles & immediately takes the opportunity to lay on scorpius’s shoulder* my saviour!

[in the back]

james: al has earbuds, i can see them sticking out from his bag

Draco, at Platform 9 ¾: Ready for fifth year?

Scorpius: Yeah, I’m a little nervous about the O.W.L.S though…

Draco: Don’t be. Study hard and I’m sure your exams will be straight fire

Scorpius: what?

Draco: oh, did I mess that one up? I meant they’ll be lit

Scorpius: you did not just say that

Draco: Stop acting salty, Scorpius. You’ll be upset on the train.

Scorpius: oh my god

Draco: Speaking of which, say hi to the squad for me.

Scorpius: Dad

Scorpius: Dad stop

Draco:</b> Why? I’m just trying to be hip like my son

Scorpius: oh my god I don’t know you

Scorpius: this isn’t happening

Scorpius, to crowd: I don’t know him

Draco: that was savage

Scorpius: dad stop

to all the new Slytherins that will join us at hogwarts today…

  • you are not evil
  • you are not bigoted
  • you are not hateful
  • you are not manipulative
  • you are not selfish
  • you are not cruel
  • you are not cowardly

and I wish every single one of you ambitious, determined, cunning, resourceful, wonderful people a fantastic year

[ gryffindor ]   [ ravenclaw ]   [ hufflepuff ]

Me: I love fanfiction with slow burn and slow built relationships, I love the pining and I want to wait 1628 chapters and three eternity before they get their shit together and end up dating

Also me, two lines into the fanfiction: WHY DON’T THEY JUST KISS OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING IT’S SO OBVIOUS THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER! JUST KISS ALREADY!!!

Person A: when you eat a ginger bread man do you ever pause to think about which part of his body you should eat first to make sure his death is quick and painless?

Person B: Ummmmm…no?

Person A: *sweating profusely* right yeah totally me neither