science is my girlfriend

white suburban dad gothic
  • you only speak in dad jokes. you cannot even remember how to string together a phrase that isn’t a dad joke. was there ever a time before you told dad jokes? what wa – hi, i’m dad. what just happened? nothing. hi nothing, i’m dad.
  • someone is having a cookout on saturday. it’s always saturday. there is always a cookout.
  • your closet is full of brightly colored polo shirts and khakis. they are the only acceptable articles of clothing. you put on a screaming yellow polo shirt. the shirt will not stop screaming. you will not stop screaming. the color is strangling you.
  • you call out to your buddy, chad. he turns and looks at you. the other eighty-seven chads follow suit. your son is also named chad. you are named chad. the guy down the street is named don. he must become chad or be eliminated.
  • you stand at the grill, barbecuing something that looks like meat. you do not know where it came from. you haven’t been to the store recently to buy any meat. you have not moved from in front of this grill since…
  • you toss a football to your son. he catches it and throws it to his brother, who also catches it and throws it to his brother. you watch them pass the football and wonder why it’s called a football. it is obviously passed by hands, and it doesn’t resemble a foot. in fact, it is a head. you think the guy’s name might have been don…

(has this been done yet?)

saamatpob  asked:

Cat knowing Kara is supergirl, and addressing it, also where is Carter? Maggie fangirling over cat grant & the president. (Bonus points if cat meets Mon-el and yeets him like she verbally did to his mom)

Supergirl and Carter addressed here:

She’d been a fan of Leslie Willis’s show.

Of course she had been. The girl was queer as fuck and had absolutely no reverence to speak of.

But Cat Grant? 

Maggie was quite a bit more than a fan.

Meeting James Olsen – becoming friends with James Olsen – was one thing.

She’d admired him and she’d studied his techniques and she’d spent hours pouring over his photographs, but that was nothing like this.

That had nothing of a sexual layer.

But this?

She would feel bad about it – being turned on when she gets back to base, back to their bar, to find Cat Grant calling Winn Winslow and calling the president (damn, damn, the president) Olivia – but one glance at Alex tells her that her girlfriend is in a similar boat.

She smirks because she knows that look – Alex’s gay panic look.

That look of sudden comprehension, of holy shit that’s what that feeling was, of holy shit I really am super gay, aren’t I?

She runs to Alex – runs to her, because she was just in a war zone, and seeing someone she fangirls and crushes over is one thing, but the arms of her beloved are quite another – and suddenly no one else is in the bar, no one else is in the world.

Because Alex is breathing out her name and Maggie is breathing in Alex’s breath and their lips are parted and their hands are grasping for skin, grasping for a pulse, grasping for life, because they’re both alive, both safe, both here.

The Queen of All Media clears her throat, and when Alex and Maggie separate their lips and press their foreheads together breathlessly, they’re both blushing deeply.

“Cat,” Alex clears her throat, finding the taste of her little sister’s old boss new and different in her mouth. “This is my girlfriend, Maggie Sawyer.”

“NCPD, Science Divison,” Maggie sticks out her hand. “It’s an honor to meet you, ma’am.”

Cat’s eyes travel up and down Maggie’s war-stained body, lingering on the badge on her hip, on the slight bulge where she’s keeping an extra gun.

“Well I should certainly hope she’s your girlfriend, Agent Danvers; we can’t have random women running in off the streets to our dive bar resistance cell just to make out with one of our leaders and make off with our plans for revolution, now can we?”

A smile is playing on her lips, and she takes in the way Alex’s hands have yet to leave Maggie’s body, the way Maggie’s hands are still grasping at Alex’s to make sure she’s here, to make sure she’s alive, safe. Breathing.

 “And where have you been, Detective?” she wants to know, although she has a fairly good idea.

“Guardian and I were evacuating the elementary school, Ms. Grant. The kids and their teachers are all safe in a bunker,” she turns to update Alex, who nods and sends a quick message over a walkie to her agents to tell them to make sure that bunker stays secure.

“Well, you certainly do choose your company well, Alex,” Cat grins elusively, and Alex and Maggie both melt more than a little bit inside.

She can’t say the same for Kara.

Not entirely.

Because her so-called boyfriend returns, willingly, without her. 

Without her, without her, and Cat knows Alex – and probably Maggie, as well – will destroy him when they get back from wherever that positron cannon contraption is, but Cat also knows that she can’t resist having the first go.

She saunters past an angry-looking Winslow, stilling him with gentle, subtle fingers, and she stops only inches from the Daxamite prince’s body, brushing nonexistent dust off of his shoulders and straightening his shirt like he’s Crater off to the prom.

Except she’ll be proud and bursting with love when she sends Carter off to the prom.

She wants to kill the man she’s grooming now, her eyes studying his wary face.

“You’re Kara’s former boss,” he tells her as if she doesn’t know. “You gave us the distraction we needed to get away from my mother. Thank you.” His voice is light, but he’s frozen in place like he’s terrified of her.

And well he should be.

“Mmmm,” Cat begins, toying with him, because if she doesn’t toy, she’ll resort to cruder tactics. Hell, she might resort to them anyway. 

“I did orchestrate a brilliant distraction, didn’t I? A nearly foolproof plan to give you and Lena a chance to get home to safety. And Supergirl, of course. The woman you claim to love.”

She pauses and Winn watches and Kara’s boyfriend gulps.

“What I would like to know – it’s Prince, isn’t it? – is how you can possibly justify leaving her on that spaceship at the mercy of your mother and a very, very desperate plan to save this planet. Oh, wait, I think I know this one. It’s almost as though I’ve seen this on cable television before. Do you have such few qualms about laying waste to this planet and enslaving the people your mother doesn’t kill because that system worked so well for you back home? And I’m not sure what kinds of numbers you had to pull on that woman to make her forget who she is, how strong she is, how worth it she is – god knows, I’ve been away too long – but I’m back now, my dear, and I assure you, we will repair the damage you’ve done. All of it.”

He jumps at a sudden burst of solemn applause from the corner of the bar, and he and Cat and Winn turn as one to see Alex and Maggie, soberly reveling in the wake of another needed Cat speech.

“I will end you if anything happens to her because you left her up there,” Alex crosses the room and slams him with ease into the nearest wall.

“Whoa,” Winn calls, and Maggie takes one of Alex’s arms and Cat the other, both of their other hands on either of Alex’s hips.

“There will be more than ample time for that once we get her back safe, Alex,” Cat reminds her, and Alex trembles, and she slams him hard into the wall again before letting him drop unceremoniously to the ground.

“I take it you have a plan,” Cat turns to Alex bracingly, Maggie desperately blocking out any fantasies that might be tempted to spring into her mind, into her body.

“Maggie and I have the start of one, yeah. But it’s gonna involve all of us.”

What Was It This Time? - Part 2

Requested by: @lexichukwu
(Here are the specifics)

Pairing: Reader x Peter Parker
Word Count: 1K
Warnings: Angst, fluff

A/N: A part 2 was requested!

Part 1

~~Peter’s POV~~

Checking your watch, you gasp and quickly shove the rest of your sandwich in your mouth. Peter looks at you with an amused raised eyebrow.

“I’ve gotta run, babe,” you explain, “Miles is waiting for me in the library,” grabbing your school bag, you lean over and plant a kiss on Peter’s cheek,

“I’ll see you after school?” Peter asks, ignoring the blush that was reddening his cheeks,

“Ah, I can’t,” you say apologetically, “Miles needs me to help him cram for this science exam,” Peter nods, feeling a little dejected and disappointed, “See ya Ned,” you say before running out of the cafeteria.

“What’s with that?” Ned asks, nodding towards where you had disappeared,

“Y/N’s helping that Miles Morales kid study,” Peter shrugs, and rests his head on his hand,

“And you aren’t worried?” Ned queries.

Keep reading

everything about this is perfect.

the sneaky hug. the giggles. Suvi trying to sneak up on Ryder but failing. the way Suvi is so passionate about her work, but Ryder can’t tear her eyes away from Suvi.

“It’s beautiful.” “…you mean the display, right?” LET ME LOVE YOU, SUVI.

“You’re my home.” there are literal tears in my eyes. literal. tears.

I love my science girlfriend.


Fuck me lets do this:

a) This emotionally scarred you but being killed and erased and yoru life stolen by Doc Ock…nada

b) This emotionally scarred you but we’re only gonna SAY that not show actual signs of it. Okay

c) All the shit he’s been through and this crap scars him? He was les emotionally scarred by seeing deformed clones of HIMSELF

d) “The things we do other people do not get…I mean yeah, except for my first wife. She got it and supported it even though she wasn’t one of us. She was pretty awesome like that. Also Jarvis and this guy Alfred from a place called Gotham city. My Aunt also got it when I had the decency to stop lying to her like I have been for years now for no discernable reason”

e) “We are both superheores. It is something we have in common. I think this means we should be attracted to one another even though I’ve had countless oppertunities to pursue romance and deep friendships with fellow superheroes before during my long career, which has included being an Avenger, and yet still obviously prefer hanging out with and dating normal people. Like even the one costumed girlfriend I ever had I broke up with because she was too into being a costumed person and wanted less to do with being normal like I wanted. In light of that its actually kind of stupid and out of character for me to even be entertaining the notion of us hooking up I suppose. Especially when you consider apart from both of us being heroes there is really very little we have in common and even less to our personal personalities which would compliment one another. I mean correct me if I am wrong but you pretty much spend most of your time on the job in some capacity as a SHIELD agent or a cop or something right? yeah…i’m not really into that at all. Hence I never tried dating a cop and dated just two women who were into science which is my biggest passion. one of those I didn’t even date because of the science love she had and the other I was kind of persuaded into dating by other people and didn’t give ashit about when we broke up, preferring to try and hook up with my old non-science girlfriend. So you’d think that having in common the mere fact we are both superheroes wouldn’t be an actual big attraction between us at all but I guess I’m being written like a jackass in this scene. Just like all the scenes before this one and probably all the scenes after it too”

f) Hi Aunt May, nice to see you are out of character in this scene too. I love how quickly you got over your husband dying.

g) I’m not even going to touch this scene:


every westallen scene ever (2/?)

anonymous asked:

I want to go into the Air Force for behavioral sciences and other medical fields, but my girlfriend doesn't want me to leave her for the military. It's a passion of mine, how do I tell her that it's something I really want to pursue.

This is Kristen’s girlfriend. She handed me the phone to answer this. Telling her that that is your passion should be enough. I get it trust me, it’s hard to think that you might not be together for a couple of months at a time but being together in person isn’t what makes a relationship work. In a relationship both of you are different people, both of you have different passions, different views for life. She’s a very very important part of your life but remember she isn’t all of it. You gotta do what makes you happy too and if it’s meant to be she will see that & accept it.


Oh hey there wagecuck. Halfway through the week, hopefully you don’t have another breakdown before your designated recreational time at the end of the week.

Me? Well life isn’t easy being a NEETgod, right now I’m stuck deciding what I’m going to do with all time today. Hey! Maybe you can help me choose! I’ve narrowed it down to a few options:

- Play a round of golf (beat my country clubs record last week!)
- Learn a new field of science
- Write and record a new symphony
- Fuck my wageslave neighbours girlfriend
- Take my Ferrari for a spin
- Or perhaps just chill out with a nice book

This will be the closest you get to actually being free, by living through me.


This was my first attempt at gif-making (so please don’t crucify me). I really liked the au idea of Mrs. S being all protective over Cosima. I couldn’t find the original post, so if anyone can send me the link to it, I’ll link it here!

Sweet is the Voice of a Sister in the Season of Sorrow

Rated T
tw for homophobia, references to transphobia, and references to abuse

Shoutout to @kirst003 for reading through it and putting up with my questions about characterization.

For most of the story, Jamie is called ‘Trip’, a childhood nickname, and is referred to as a boy because the story’s perspective is 3rd person limited from Maggie’s pov.  She doesn’t know Jamie is trans until Jamie tells her, but the switch to Jamie and the proper pronouns happens as soon as Jamie tells her, with the exception of when in dialogue by and around people who don’t know.

The hallway Maggie was down was deserted and dark, the lights on switch instead of motion detectors.  Her heart raced, pounding in her ears and vibrating through her veins.  She paced back and forth, from wall to wall, staring down at her hands as she rubbed them together, squeezed them, cracked her knuckles, anything to try and get them to stop buzzing.

If she could get them to stop, she might be able to fight off the panic attack before it fully sets in.

- futile, she knew, but she had to try -

He was in the building.

She didn’t know how or why - the Captains explanation had been drowned out by the buzzing in her brain - but he was there.

She hadn’t been in the same room as him since she was fourteen, hadn’t even been in the same time zone since she was twenty-five and had to drive across the country from Gotham to National City.

But he was there.  Her captain had led him into the bullpen, introduced him, and she had fled, escaping through another door until she ended up in a little used part of the building.

And, god, what if he had seen her.  And, god, she’s not fourteen anymore.

- she’s fourteen -

“Excuse me?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

42 with Pony? thank you and love u <3

Love you too. 030 I’m sorry this was kinda late and it’s sucky. Also, this is told in Pony’s POV. (16 years old)

“Go then, leave! See if I care!”

Pony’s POV

Me and (Y/N) have been kind of on and off lately. She just hasn’t been her normal self. I guess with the stress of school and the stuff going on at home, anybody would act differently.

Right now, we’re over at her house. She needs a little help in science and I’m always glad to help my girlfriend. She gets frustrated easily so I have to try and be patient, which isn’t that hard. 

(Y/N) sighs for the millionth time. “I hate science and science obviously hates me, too. I can’t do this!” She slams her pencil down onto the paper.

“Don’t say that you can’t. Here just–” 

“Stop treating me like I don’t know basic science. This stuff is just harder because it involves so much math.”

“Give me your pencil, I’ll–”

“Can you explain it to me without doing the whole thing for me?”

“That’s the only way I know how to do it.”

She huffs out a long breath. “How am I ever going to learn?”

“…At least you’ll have the work done.” I shrug.



“You know what? I can’t do this anymore.” (Y/N) says, standing up.

I get to my feet. “Why? You only have 7 questions left.”

“I mean this.” She gestures between us. “We had a fight just a few hours ago over whether we should sit with your friends at lunch or mine. That’s such a stupid argument. I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting about nonsense. I hear enough fighting when my parents are here. I don’t need it.”

“Well maybe I don’t want to take a break or break up. I love you.”

She gives me a desperate look. “Ponyboy, if you love me then you’ll give me a break. I just need time to think.”

Dammit. I hate that she feels this way. I love her more and more with each passing day, but she wants me to leave. My anger bubbles up inside me and I know we’re about to have another one of those “stupid” fights.

“I just can’t believe you. I love you a whole lot and you take that for granted. It’s not fair for me to just stay if you’re going to fight over every little thing.”

“Go then, leave! See if I care!” She screams at me.

“Okay then.”I open her bedroom door, stomping out into her living room and eventually out her door. I purposefully slam it shut. 

Later, when I’m sitting up in bed very late at night, I know I’m sorry. I want her here with me so I can tell her. I hate myself for starting that fight. All she wanted was to work out the question by herself. 

“Soda!” I shake him awake.

He sleepily looks at me. “What’s your deal?”

“Drive me to (Y/N)’s house.”

He squints at the clock. “Pony, it’s 3 am. She’s probably asleep. Why do you need to see her anyways?”

“We fought again today and I feel bad. Please Soda.”

He sighs. “Get your coat and shoes. You gotta be quiet. You wake Darry, you’re not going.”

I hug him for a split second then silently grab my things. Soda gets the car keys from the key rack. “Let’s go.”

We drive all the way to (Y/N)’s house. Soda stays in the car and I get out. I walk up to her bedroom window and knock. The window slides up a few seconds later. 

“Ponyboy Michael Curtis! Do you realize what time it is?”

I smile. She’s alluring even when it’s so late. “Yeah it’s around 3 am.”

“You’re lucky tomorrow’s Saturday. What are you doing here?”

“I came to say I’m sorry.” She gives me a look. “Also…I love you. I know I say it a lot but you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like we’re supposed to be together.”

“Pony, we’re 16.”

I act like I don’t hear her. “I love the way you jump when your happy. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about things you’re passionate about. I love the way you dance around my kitchen when you think I’m not watching.”

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

“You could say that you feel the same. Or that you don’t…”

“NO! I love you too! I’m just not as poetic as you are about it.”

“Good, come down here. I’ll catch you.” She jumps into my arms and I pull her into a soft and loving kiss.

“I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“Me either, baby.” I kiss her nose.