sci fi jokes

What’s in a meme?

okay, so more on the humans are weird tag, I’m thinking of doing one of my own every day what do you think? anyway todays is, yep you guessed it: memes.
not necessarily just memes though, just jokes in general. memes were just my starting thought, but hey, let’s go from what seems like the logical start.
How weird are human jokes? Like, we have some which just don’t make sense, like i don’t know if anyone else has seen that “No, two goat is too much” post [that probably doesn’t make sense to anyone else but i know what joke I’m talking about] but even if you don’t know that post i’m sure you’ve seen them around, those posts that make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, but you laugh ridiculously hard at.

another type of jokes: puns. why do we find them funny??? don’t get me wrong, i love them, but why? I’ve been thinking about it for a solid two minutes and i can’t even come up with an accurate definition of puns. in times like this i often turn to google:
pun: a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings
like honestly, we just went “Hey, these two words sound similar but mean two completely different things, that’s hillarious!”k knock

Some of our jokes don’t even have answers! like what’s that about?
And what about the jokes that aren’t even jokes, like why did the chicken cross the road? imagine how confused they’d be
and what about knock knock jokes? i’d probably go something like this:
Human: hey Jeff, knock knock

Alien: Why are you knocking, isn’t knocking something done, not something verbally spoken, have i misunderstood the concept of knocking?
Human: No. no, no, not at all, it’s a joke
Alien: a… joke?

Human: yeah, I say knock knock, and then you say who’s there. after that I’ll answer and you repeat what i said but with who on the end, and then i answer that. do you get it.

Alien, I believe i understand human!Jack, you will knock i will ask who is there, you shall say your name and i shall ask you to clarify. is a joke a training exercise of some kind? a way to make sure we answer in an apropriate way?

Human: no, not really, like I won’t reply with my name, i’ll reply with something else
Alien: Ah! so we are always open to new names and outcomes, genius!

Human: Erm, no not exactly, let’s let’s just try it
Alien: Excelent, I am excited!

Human: knock knock:

Alien: Who is there?

Human: Isabelle

Alien: Isabelle who?

Human: Is the bell broken? i had to knock!

Alien: What a wonderful name, do please come in Isabelle broken i had to knock.

Human:…

Alien: What a wonderful exercise, we should do these “jokes” more often! [walks away]
Human: …

yeah, you see how it might get confusing.

alright, now it’s time to get to what I’m sure is the reason you’re here: memes.
memes make no sense, and you might think that would go under non-sensical jokes, but what more got me thinking, was how memes die. like, after a wile, a meme just dies out, everyone moves on and people don’t really think of them as funny anymore, what’s with that? like maybe they’ll think jokes are a seasonal thing just imagine:
Alien: Ah, yes i saw one of those “Forcefully removed” jokes the other day, and i brought it here to show you
Human: Oh, those aren’t funny anymore.
Alien: Oh, is this one not up to par?

Human: no, not that, just all of them

Alien: but it was before?

Human: Yeah, those were the shit a few months ago

Alien: Then why stop? is it seasonal? do jokes have a cycle? Is it because it’ aimed at different age groups?
Human: no, none of that, it just is.

Alien: …

anyway, not very well explained, but you get my point.

now Imagine a crew that’s pretty used to the humans, they can differentiate between jokes and serious, a few of them get the jokes even, they enjoy the jokes. then imagine one of the crew members likes dark humour, maybe they start telling anti jokes

Human: hey, wanna hear a joke?

Alien: Ooh, yes!

Human: A man walks into a bar

Alien: ooh, i love these ones

Human: His alcoholism is ruining his life and his family is falling apart.

Alien: wait what

as i said, human humour is weird. tomorrow, I’ll get into fashion.

First Contact

(Inspired by a binge play of Mass Effect 1, a silly conversation with @ysmirel and also from reading too many (wonderful) alien stories on tumblr. A bit longer than what I usually write here, at about 4k words.)

Part I | Part II | Part III




They thought they were safe.

They thought their galaxy would never be a problem, because no sane, sentient organism would ever venture into, or out of, that hazardous place willingly—that dangerous fortress of a planet far too close to its star center, simultaneously protected and threatened by Planet ZS-01’s gravitational field and vibrantly thriving despite several near-misses with asteroid strikes and gradually increasing heat deterioration.

They assumed this for several decades, centuries, passing detailed warnings and fearmongering education of the singular species down by generations and knowing they’d never face an issue with too much interest in that isolated, forbidden corner of the megaverse because of the carefully-maintained precautions.

For all their calculations, however, they overlooked one vital detail—something so incredibly basic that in hindsight they should have predicted it—in omnisight, should have known it would happen, yet overlooked it out of—they weren’t too vain to admit it—sheer arrogance. That detail was: when one species reaches out and repeatedly attempts to communicate, especially one not deterred by radio silence, another species will inevitably respond. Particularly, those ugly, unsavory, desperate Isa from the Kraal System who were warned, always warned, and heavily fined, but never listened. But the fault originated with them, for not keeping a closer eye on those anomalous creatures, for being too complacent in believing the Isa were far too worthless for those beings to accept.  

And so, despite their efforts, and due to their own failings, first contact was made.

Keep reading

What I plan to do

So there’s a few things I plan to do…

First off, I have two more monsters based off of music that are rattling around in my head.

Then after that I’m going to finally get around to making that fan art of @dinosaurana’s Bakjura-Teno and Aidan interacting. It’s going to be difficult, since Bakjura-Teno is a skeletal whale, but I wanna do it!

Third thing I want to do is finish that fan art of @tyrantisterror’s Martian monsters that I wanted to do. Kemlasulla dragging the other Martian Kaiju into a picture is too funny not to do.

Then I will sketch every single one of the sci-fi knockoff jokes that my father and I have created. Starting with the Venomous Swamp Duck and ending with the Mexican Vampire Dog.

Then Plumera and her family will make an appearance again! I love her and my other A.T.O.M. contest entries and I feel bad for not drawing them more often. Participating in that contest was the reason I even made this blog in the first place and it’s through them that I got to know the other bloggers I’m associated with now. Plumera is important to me. I’ll also be making those A.T.O.M. contest entries that I didn’t submit, since I promised to illustrate them a long time ago.

After that I’ll be starting to make sketch post of the GUARDIANverse characters that I have neglected to do. Each post will be a sketch of one character with a little bit of information about them to boot. Some of them I’ll be asking you guys to help me make them fit properly in the story. I want you guys to ask questions about them and reblog those post when I make them, because those post will be very important and I want as many people seeing them as possible.

You can expect to see a sketch of Aidan here and there, along with art about Guardian Society biotechnology and other stuff about them.

Finally, I’ll be working on a HUGE project illustrating the main Kaiju of other people’s giant monster stories. It’s basically my giant love letter to this little fandom, and it shows how proud and happy I am to finally be a part of it! Keep in mind that when I say huge, I mean absolutely ginormous. I originally wanted to just illustrate all of our main monsters together in one picture, but ArtStudio doesn’t allow me to create images that big or awesome. I’ll have to make a list of everyone in order to keep track of all of our main monsters, because there’s just that many Kaiju. If some of you guys want to help me out with this, then I will greatly appreciate it. Just send a sketch of your main Kaiju in a cool action-y pose so that way I don’t have to go through the trouble of making sure other people’s creations are correctly proportioned and whatnot.

Then I can finally get started on Aidan’s Notes On Life Throughout The Multiverse (or whatever the fuck I’m going to name it, because that name just doesn’t work).

Once I get back in school, you can expect me to not make post as frequently since I’m going to be busy being a mindless drone that’s forced to regurgitate information.

just--a-pervert-guy  asked:

so hey, can i ask some kind of fantasy AU? like halloween is coming and i dont see any kind of fantasy AU at the mysme fandom so... i'm here :D how about the rfa+v and Saeran reaction to a vampire mc(gender neutral) but drinking blood is more a sexual thing(kinda like in the books of the house of night i think)they can live like humans but they need to drink blood(yes im asking a reaction of them having their blood drinked, bonus if 707 blood be pretty sweet) sorry im a sucker for fantasy/sci-fi

Zen

• jokes around and is all like ohh what if i turn into a vampire then i can’t witness this handsome son of gun anymore ~ Zen shut the fuck up it doesn’t work like that

• totally okay with it and is also a bit turned on when they sit on his lap and draws closer to his neck keep calm Zen he can feel their breathe against his skin holy fuck

• will cuddle them afterwards and stroke their hair, it’s a pretty intimate thing so he wants to be as close as he can with them after it probably ends up doing the nasty

Yoosung

• he is a bit tad scared tbh but he’ll swallow his fears because they need blood and he’d do anything for them. Even if it means getting bitten

• super tense and is like “ohmygod omgomgomg its gonna hurt won’t it omg i’m not ready what if my blood tastes bad what if they’ll leave me because my blood tastes like shit what if-whatifff”

• but then it ends up not being bad at all and he even let out a moan when they sucked his blood omg yoosung u M

Jaehee

• is a blushing mess when mc starts getting closer and they starts pressing butterfly kisses along her neck and shoulder hot dAMN

• she unconsciously hugs MC closer when they drink her blood and she is in a daze, doesn’t remember too much or nothing about it honestly  

• will still be a blushing mess afterwards so MC just pulls her down with them on the bed for some kisses turns to a full on makeout session 

Jumin

• at first he is really uncertain about the whole thing because he is afraid of needles n shit and now it’s this but he’ll go through it because it’s MC and he will do anything for MC

• when they bite him he just.stops.breathing for a sec and then puts his hand on the back of their head and kinda gently grips their hair

• when they’re done he just smirks down on them and presses a kiss on their lips. Then he pins them down on the bed and just “my turn”, starts giving them love bites all over their neck and shoulders damn jumin

Seven

• he’ll be so dramatic you just want to punch him. “Oh thou wants to drink thee pure blood of meee” *tilts his head to the side to expose his neck more and licks his lips*

• when they bite down and drink for like 2.5 sec they stop and looks at him. “what?”
“…………your blood tastes like pure sugar……… omg this isn’t healthy for any of us”

• so they beg Seven to cut it down a lil bit on the chips and soda because your blood tastes like sugar… I mean, your blood can be sweet yes. But this is like taking a spoon full with sugar and eat it my god

V

• this guy right here would give them the world of he could, a little blood is nothing to him. Is a bit shy when it’s time though because it’s a more intimate thing rater then just bite, nom, suckle, done

• his breathe probably hitches in his throat when they bite him, and he’ll probably hug them closer to him with one hand on their back and the other on the back of their head 

• strokes their back afterwards and presses sweet kisses to there forehead, nose and then finally lips

Saeran

• he raises his eyebrow and just…. “alright” but he is so nervous on the inside since hey, this is on another level of closeness 

• they will be so gently about the whole thing because Saeran is kinda fragile even if many see him as a kinky fuck so they hold him close and just presses kisses on his skin before the deal

• he wants cuddles after every time they drink his blood, he wants to be near them and wrap his arms around them and rest his head against their chest. Feel them breathe. Know that they are still there