A Day in the Life of My Internal Medicine Rotation
5:05 am- Alarm blares. Me screaming (internally)
5:10 am- All needs are forgotten except for COFFEE
6:00 am- Finish up some last minute paperwork, wish I was sleeping instead.
6:40 am- Arrive at hospital, put on white coat.
6:45 am- IMMEDIATELY get bloody diarrhea splattered on me and my previously white, now red-brown, white coat. So THIS is how this day is going to go huh?
7:00 am- Physical exam on my inpatient, give treatments, assess how they are doing (aka love on them, despite them pooing on me). Call owner with an update.
7:30 am- Inpatient rounds. Stumble through case presentation. Try to believe I am only imagining them cringing at my proposed plan for my inpatient for today.
8:40 am- Paperwork. Eat a handful of dried fruit (because you NEVER know when your next chance for food will be!).
8:53 am- Running around to coordinate diagnostic testing for my ICU inpatient.
9:00 am- Appointment is here! Crap but I still have inpatient stuff to do…
9:40 am- Leave appointment with physical exam findings and history in tow. Try to make sense of the clinical signs. Forget ALL THE THINGS when asked a direct question by head attending and try not to scream from frustration of my brain fart.
10:00 am- Go back into exam room with attending in tow. With plan (and now patient) in hand, submit paperwork for diagnostics. Draw blood, get urine, oh my!
10:47 am- Gulp a part of a granola bar while running around doing diagnostics and discharge and grabbing meds at pharmacy and ugh so much exercise! Who needs a fitbit when my legs are already yelling at me for walking so much?
12:29 pm- Realize I have no sat down since 7. Get woozy as I rush to make it to rounds before 12:30. Or else the wrath of “all must be timely or you shall be smited” is hanging in the balance.
12:30 (On. the. dot.) pm- Case Base Rounds (or really classroom). Better know that 26th differential for acute small bowel diarrhea or else!
3:30 pm- Frantically try to type out discharges while simultaneously requesting a CT scan, analyzing a urinalysis, calling back the own, and resisting the urge to cry.
4:00 pm- Run 5 miles around the hospital trying to find my head clinician/attending that is never to be found unless of course I am stumbling or making a mistake…
4:30 pm- Discharge patient!
5:10 pm- Fill out treatment sheet for inpatient.
5:30 pm- Pout as I see classmates leaving the building while I am stuck behind a mountain of paperwork yet.
7:00 pm- Get clearance from my clinician and GET THE HECK OUT OF DODGE. Eat food. Enjoy the moonlight! Be merry!
9:00 pm- Sluggishly type paperwork at home. This is not going well.
10:00 pm- BED OH BED HOW WONDERFUL YOU ARE!