So, I have this amazing girlfriend, and I want to get her a gift. She's sweet, tomboyish, and really into anime (nowhere near a Renge level, though). What should I get?
Haruhi: Food. Food is always a good option. I suggest Fancy Tuna, but it’s really up to you.
Honey: If she happens to have an allergy to seafood, your backup should be cake!
Kyoya: You could also get her an anime-specific T-shirt if you think she would like that. Unfortunately, without knowing the lady, the level of your relationship, or your budget, I’m afraid this is just guess work.
Tamaki: Mother, I’m surprised at you! Why not combine all those things and create an evening she’ll never forget! Give her a gift bag with some anime merchandise and then take her out to a lovely dinner featuring fancy tuna and cake for dessert! Also bring flowers. Ladies love flowers.
Twins: Huh. That just might work, boss.
Tamaki: Of course it’ll work! I’m not a king for nothing!
Haruhi: Woah, fancy tuna! Where did all this come from? Honey: Well, the Host Club’s holding a dance tonight, and since you want to try it so bad- Hikaru: We went out and stole a bunch! Kyouya: I went back and paid for it. Tamaki: The whole thing was my idea. Kaoru: It was everyone’s idea.
What about some sisters headcanon? What If the human matures with the skeles a fraternal relationship. Especially if they are teenager and we know how adolescence is a difficult age for everyone. What kind of brothers UT/UF/US bros would be for their human adoptive sister?
The lazy, funny brother.
He will prank you and screw with you, but it will be funny afterwards.
He also is a good listener, so go to him with your problems, he probably can help or at least listen.
Not really protective, but if somebody fucks with you really bad, he will step in for you.
Is a smarty, but don’t expect help with your homework. But if your in really a lot of stress, you will sometimes find randome, helpfull notes on your desk.
Not really a social animal or energetic, so he won’t really drag you around to do stuff, but movie nigths and just hangouts are a thing.
Presents for Christmas and Birthdays will be…really badly wrapped. The first thing he gives you will be a cucmber in a box or some other weird shit, the second the actual present. It’s nothing to fancy, but somehow exactly that what you really need/want at the moment.
The little shit bro. Whos older then you, but still a little shit.
Super energetic optimistic bro.
Will cheer you up no matter what, and it really works.
Will drag you outside often for fresh air and sunligth and hikes trough the woods.
Will try to teach you how to cook.
Will help you with homework, but he is better in languages then in the sciency classes. But he can still help you with math, if it’s no the really advanced stuff.
Christmas and Birthdaypresents will involve some kind of healthy snakc, no matter what the main present is. It will be something that is thougth trough really well.
Will be the protective brother, he won’t get overprotective, but if somebody hurts you, he will take that person aside and hold them a stern lecture.
The mom bro.
Kinda pessimistic but still fun bro.
Will prank you sooo often. And film it. And upload it. He has youtube channel just for that kind of content. He will laso laugh if you get hurt.
But he will take care of you and get you an icepack. And say some kinda encouraging things like “ahh, it’s not that bad, see?”
But won’t be able to actually cheer you up, will probably pull you down even more. But he can listen really well, jsut don’t expect him to say anything helpfull.
Has a great shoulder to cry on, doesn’t judge you for crying, even tho he usually makes fun of people for that.
Can help you with homework, but won’t. Not at all. Hes lazy and he had to go trough that shit too, so nope.
He will bet with you about everything. “bet you two bucks i can eat the 2 month old yogurt.”
Really not a social person, so if you want to have a sibling-hangout, you have to initiate it. Will come go with you outside, and will even enjoy himself after some time, but still complain. And be kinda on edge from time to time if it’s a crowded place.
Will seem like he doesnt give a shit, but if somebody fucks with you they are just dead. Not literally. But he knows how to fuck people up without hurting them.
The asshole bro.
Enthusiastic and angry bro who still loves you.
Your part of his family, your under his protection at all times. Your one of the safest people in the Underground.
He will teach you to figth, same way Sans did with him.
He will lose his patience with you often, and you will figth a lot.
But figths never last for long, you can make
He will be a bit to protective some times, but hold himself back often so you learn to handle yourself.
He is pretty good with words, so he can cheer you up good. But he won’t do it often, mostly because he doesn’t know how to approach you.
An inside and outside bro. Will drag you ouside at day, but only let you hang out inside after dark. Not a good movie marathon buddy, he may get trough one, but he will get restless afterwards.
Wil help you with homework, but lose patience pretty fast, so you won’t get very far. But he knows his math and chemistry.
People are usually to afraid to screw with you, but if somebody does, they are definitly not going to a second time.
The annoyed bro.
Over enthusiastic bro.
He has so much love to give, just let him hug you.
He wil dragg you to so many partys and hangouts and fun activities.
He will race you almost everywhere.
Super optimistic words if you are down. They not always help rigth away, but they will be stuck in your head until you do feel better.
Will try to help you with homework, but probably distracte you. You will end up playing tag outside before you even know what happened.
Super social, so if you hang out with him, some of his friends probably will join. And Papyrus suddenly appears out of nowhere all the time.
But if you want to have some sibling time he will hang out only with you.
He seems like the sweetest guy, but if somebody messes with you they won’t ahve a quiet moment until they apologize. He once burned somebodys favorite shirt, after they hurt Papyrus. Rigth before their eyes.
The excitedly vibrating bro.
Lazy but very friendly bro.
Has always an open ear and a hug to offer if you feel down or need to talk.
You can try dragging him outside, but he will probably disappear pretty fast. You can find him nap at home though, so don’t be afraid he hasn’t gone lost.
He will get lost though. And forgett he can teleport. Better just hang out with him somewhere he can’t get lost.
Great movie marathon buddy, since he actually can stay awake pretty long if he doesn’t have to move an inch.
Can help you with your homework, but you have to bring it to him. He won’t get up.
If somebody screws with you, he won’t talk with them. He will set pranks almsot everywhere they go though. And not the fun ones. And everytime they run out of the schools classroom, with canned tuna all over them, he will just stand close by and give them a wave and a smile.
He won’t to that for long though, it’s a bit to much effort.
If you sit on his spot on the couch, he will pick you up and plop you on the floor next to the couch. No matter how tall you are, he will pick you up.
Gives the best and warmest hugs, and leaves you smelling like honey afterwards.
Tamaki: *standing prominently and nobly on a soap box* Host Club, I am proud to announce that we have reached 1000 guests!!!!
Twins: AWWWW YEAH BOYS WE DID IT WE ARE FAMOUS WE ARE AWESOME AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tamaki: QUIET!!!! I’m not finished yet! *ahem* In order to celebrate, I’ve had a wonderful idea!!! We are to have our very own Ouran matsuri festival!!!**
Kyoya: uh… Tamaki? Our budget doesn’t cover…
Tamaki: I SAID QUIET!!!! Sorry Mother, but rules must be followed!!!
Kyoya: But insurance only covers…
Tamaki: *glaring at everyone* Everyone must participate and wear traditional clothing. Haruhi! You will be the princess of the festival and wear a yukata!** Daddy really wants to see his baby girl all dressed up!
Haruhi: Oh no…
*one week later at the matsuri*
Honey: That’s right ladies, step right up!!! First one to beat Takashi in a Kendo battle wins a hot date with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome! *massive herd of girls crowd around for a battle with the man of the hour*
Kaoru: Look at those chumps…
Hikaru: Yeah. Honey senpai is doing cake decorations at 5:00, Mori senpai is doing this ridiculous bid, Kyoya senpai is having a contest to see who can recite the most digits of pi, and Tamaki is just sitting around on a throne pretending to be kingly!!!
Kaoru: BORING!!!! Nothing beats this old classic….
Hitachiin: That’s right girls, the “Which One is Hikaru? Game” is an all-time favorite!!!! Guess correctly and your name will have a chance to win a free wardrobe haul featuring Hitachiin originals!!!!
Hikaru: *distractedly* Hey, where’s Haruhi?
Haruhi: Dad, NO!!! I don’t want to wear the yukata!!! I have to be at the matsuri as a boy, not as a girl!!!! I have to run the book club booth!!!
Ranka: Haruhi, sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but nobody wants to go to a book club booth during a matsuri!!! They all want to see you dressed up so pretty so you can be the matsuri princess! Isn’t that better??? Oh, and I almost forgot! That little Ootori boy said that whichever host has the most clients at his booth gets to begin the dancing festivities with you!!!
Haruhi: He did what?!?!
Tamaki: Alright ladies, it’s almost time to begin the dancing portion of tonight’s matsuri!!! And for the special twist, the host with the most successful festivities booth wins!! Honey senpai - the winner’s name, please?
Honey: Uh… Tamaki? Who was supposed to count all of that?
Tamaki: Wait, nobody tallied the results? *gulp* Hehe, well, I guess we’ll play rock, paper, scissors then, won’t we?
Kyoya: Nonsense, Tamaki. I’ll take it upon myself to begin the dancing with Haruhi. The Ootori family is known for our skillful dance steps.
Hikaru: No way, Mr. Sentient Calculator, I’m gonna dance with Haruhi. She’d prefer dancing with a man with personality.
Tamaki: Excuse me, men, but as the King I believe it’s only expected that I open the dance party. Now if you’ll excuse me…
*Hikaru and Kyoya begin badgering Tamaki about his unreasonableness. The other hosts soon follow. Soon a Host melee begins*
Haruhi: Stupid guys, why’d they have to put me in this yukata anyway? I CAN’T POSSIBLY DANCE IN THIS!!! *belly grumbles* Ugh. Now I’m hungry. I wish I had… *sniffs the air* FANCY TUNA!!!! *proceeds to eat with wild abandon*
You know what I just did? I walked out that door, saw a couple of students and I was about to start bad mouthing you behind your back but I stopped myself because my father taught me that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward.
Well, I actually appreciate that.
Good. 'Cause I'm gonna tell you directly to your face.
No, you don't have to.
No, I don't like you. I think you're a fake prefect. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine. If we were in the wild, I would attack you. Even if you weren't in my food chain, I would go out of my way to attack you. If I was a lion and you were a tuna I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you! And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean? Lions don't like water. If you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot waves. I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full-grown, 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? You lose that battle. You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? You've wandered into our school of tuna and now we have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated.
And we've said, "You know what? Lion taste good. Let's go get some more lion." We've developed a system to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
How you gonna do that?
We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time, but an hour, hour 45, no problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you. You just lost your own game. You're outgunned and outmanned.
Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.
*throws hot coffee on Randy's shirt, walks away*