hahaha, i had a dream last night that grace & frankie season 4 came out, and while most of it was astonishingly weird (grace and frankie were elementary school teachers for an episode? some weird guy tried to hit on me at said elementary school, so apparently i was trapped in the episode while simultaneously watching it as an episode??? and i was just like, “dude, leave me alone, i need to observe the relationship between these elderly teachers!!!! like one does!”), i spent most of the time on desperate tenterhooks waiting for a canon that just refused to become definitive! but they kept walking around places holding hands, as if to taunt me. and then i somehow lost access to the final episodes of the season, and was driven to near-madness. i guess netflix needs to buffer even in our strangest dreams.
BUT there was somehow also a blooper reel that i stumbled across, and the very last blooper on said reel involved grace and frankie kissing haphazardly in the driver’s seat of a car (a very precarious location for sure), but then the seat was supposed to lean back and it didn’t work, so jane fonda was all, “no, you need to lean the seat back! BACK!” and lily tomlin was caught in a fit of hysterical laughter
and i was like, “WHAT O WHAT IS THIS SCENE THEY’RE FILMING?? GRACE + FRANKIE + K-I-S-S-I-N-G! I FREAKING KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!”
When you were asked about your plans for the future for the first time, you hadn’t even had your first day of school yet and there were dozens of szenarios in your head of how you’d spend your life.
It took a few years for your dreams to be shaped, until the vary shadows formed contours and you could answer with a small smile playing around your lips whenever someone asked you about that time which still felt so far ahead.
However, in middle school, you had to realize that life wouldn’t be as easy as you had thought before; that many of the things you had once dreamed of would never be possible but then, new ideas started to form in your head and when your friends told you about the subjects their older siblings were studying at university, you almost couldn’t wait to grow up and follow your dreams.
In high school, you had learned about your abilities and the topics you’re interested in, what you are good at and which issues you would rather avoid.
Now, when you were asked about your plans for the future, you could answer with several opportunities lying ahead of you and you’d talk about the cities where you would have liked to study. Graduating no longer seemed out of reach nor sight but still far enough away to not worry about details or feel the need to have your whole life planned out.
But then senior year comes around.
The first weeks, even months, still feel relatively normal, compared to high school, even though more and more people around you have a concrete idea of what they will do after they graduate.
But in the beginning, it’s still possible to laugh it all off, to shrug your shoulders and form an alliance of carelessness with those who feel as lost as you do when it comes to the future.
And you begin to remember all those dreams you once had, especially those who will never truly leave your mind and you cannot stop asking yourself whether it would actually be possible for you to follow them;
if maybe, just maybe, you are really free to achieve whatever you want.
Yet, it is still easy to forget about it all by focusing on the tasks ahead, the final exams and the preparations for the last educational events you’ll ever witness with these people who have been a part of your life for so long.
It’s not hard to simply surpress your worries and fears but then the end of this final year in school comes closer and closer until all the ‘last times’ are beginning.
The last time studying for an exam, the last presentation or the last movie you’ll watch bored to death while doodling on your paper.
But also the last free period spent outside in the sun with the people who mean the world to you, laughing until there are tears in your eyes and your ribs hurt, the last time being late to class because all of you rather stay in the car to finish singing this one song, the last time of ever laughing about a joke of that funny kid in your math class.
And then, suddenly, there is only one week left until you will all go separate ways, hoping that your paths will cross again someday and you cannot possibly understand that this part of your life, which seemed endless back when you were eight, will actually come to an end.
// and it is when you are standing on that hill behind the building, looking over the place where you spent almost your whole life, that you realize that it might just be true what people say; that good things have to come to an end to make room for even greater adventures j.d.m.
“Hmm… I’m gaining weight and I don’t have real friends. I should stop eating too much and go out socializing more”
She said while opening a new bag of cookies and pressing play on her computer to watch various kpop groups on crack on youtube.