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The Power of Laughter: Ridiculous D&D Spells #2

Nailed to the Sky

8th Level Transmutation [Teleportation] 

Components: V, S

Casting Time: 1 action 

Range: 300 ft. 

Target: Creature or object weighing up to 1,000 lb. 

Duration: Instantaneous 

Saving Throw: Strength 

Your spell fixes the target to the heavens. 

Nailed to the sky actually places the target so far from the surface of the world and at such a speed that it keeps missing the surface as it falls back, so it enters an eternal orbit. 

Unless the target can magically fly or has some other form of non-physical propulsion available, the target is stuck until someone else rescues it. 

Even if the target can fly, the surface is 2 to 4 hours away, assuming a fly spell, which allows a maximum speed of 720 feet per round while descending. 

The target may not survive that long. 

Depending on the world where nailed to the sky is cast, conditions so far from its surface may be deadly. 

Effects include scorching heat, freezing cold, and suffocating vacuum. 

Targets subject to these conditions take 2d6 points of damage each from heat or cold and 1d4 points of damage from the vacuum each round. 

The target immediately begins to suffocate.

Why Is This Funny?

You fling a target into space! Into a never-ending orbit around the planet…

(i had to add some abba) Hi, everybody! Since I’ve surpassed 6,000 followers recently, I thought I should make my first follow forever! I really appreciate all my followers and the lovely, beautiful people who make my dash wonderful. You guys truly make my tumblr experience amazing! Even though I don’t really talk to anyone on here, I love everyone and all your blogs. I’m not going to bold certain blogs because I think every blog is unique and fab in their own way. I’d love to meet and talk to all of you sometime! Thanks so much for everything! You all are amazing! xoxo ♥♥

# - C:

1-9-6-0-s, 1001dancingyellowdaffodils, 1968makeoutvideotape, 1969-whatsthatsound, 1979er, 20thcenturyfoxylady, 52-girls, 60s-doll, 60s-feel, 60s70sand80s, 60sfangirl, 60sgirl, 60sland, 60spsychedelia, 70-s, 70s-sunflower, 70s-sunking, 70sgroupie, a-freespirit, aberrantvagary, acidxdreamsx, adumbsmiff, aflowergrownwild, aimeewright60s, alittlebitofaimee, alkooper, all-in-all-is-all-we–are, applescruffe, arlosgirl, atangerinequeen, atomheartmoth, baby-lennonade, backtowoodstock, beatlejay, bell-bottom-blues1971, billowy, bird-ona-wire, bittersweetgypsy, black-magic-woman, blackrossee, bloodred-velvet, blue-flamingoes, bobsdylan, bohogypsygirl, bornin20s, bornlovedandoutlawed, bowie1984, breakfastfor-dinner, brianwilsoff, brianwilsonofficial, brodiekushner, bunny-von-teese, c-o-l-a-cola-l-o-l-a-lola, c-y-m-b-a-l-i-n-e, cancelagain, candicesbergen, carol-makelovenotwar, cavegirl66, cecilia–queen, cellophaneflowergirl, charlotteemanuelle, cherie-bowie, chief-blue-meanie, chris-hillman, christinemcvied, christinesmcvie, cleoodzer, clnthms, cokolwiekwpisz, constantlykate, cozyhippie, crawlin-back-to-you, crimson-floyd, cry-out-to-life, cry-stalhearts, crystalline–mystery, csn-why, curriecherie, cutepancake

D - G: 

daisiesgardenn, daisy-witch, daizylemonade, dandelionapril, dandyhippie, darksideof-keithmoon, davidgilmour420, daysof49, dazedandconfused-9, ddreammydaysaway, digthe60s, dirtyleavesdirtyground, dolenz, donovansbrideofthedead, dorians-gray, dr-mind, dreamboatqueeen, dreamliest, dreams-and-chains, drjimmypage, edsullivans, electric–witch, electricottoman, electripipedream, elizabethrtaylor, ellies-psychedelic-breakfast, emilythemayqueen, evildead1987, f-o-tos, fawn-eyed, flannel-friday, fleetwoodmick, fleetwoodouglas, fleetwoodzeppelin, fleurette-noir, floatdownstreams, flowerdollie, flowers-lovebeads-and-drugs, francoisehardie, frankzapppa, friarparks, fridaforever45, fuckinghamnicks, full-tilt-boogie, fykeadelic, gatsbyswidow, genitallica, george-scaryson, gold–dust–girl, golddustmotherfucker, gracewingslick, grahamnashofficial, grooveland, groovy-sweetheart, groovy60s, groovydaze, groovyland, groovysixties, groupiegoddess, gypsywithaknife

H - L:

hapworth161924, hellotrashypsychedeliaworld, hellyeahthewho, heymanyouregroovy, highwaygroupie, hippielullaby, hopelessdinosaurs, hornyheartsclub, hourglassbaby, i-am-hippie, ilandsproblembarn, ilymrmercury, in-through-the-out-door, in-with-mcguinn, inmylittlepocket, insanity-is-fun, irockmuse, isadorahaze, itbe1964, itme-kt, jagger420, jeffersons-airplanes, jennifer-gentle, jerrylandis, jimmy-page-wants-virgins, jimmy-turn-the-page, jimmypagesbutthole, jimthelizardking, jjadedddd, jlmmydarling, johnbonham, judestarkeymccartney, juliagogo, k-o-z-m-i-c-b-l-u-e-s, kaleidooscopes, karinacupcake, keithrichrads, kid-bundy, kidbarrett, kindheartedbaby, kissing-tiny-flowers, kozmic-bluess, ladyofthecanyons, lafawnduhandkip, land-of-the-groovy, landsllde, lasorejasdelprincipecarlos, le-marquis-de-sade-est-mort, letsswimtothemoonn, life-goes-on-brahh, lightfeathers-stiffboards, likeanoldstory, likeironirust, lilychanel, lindsbuck, lipslikestrawberrypie, littleunsaidthings, livingiseasywitheyescl0sed, longskirtsandhippies, loose-tapestries, lovinyouyellow

M - Q: 

maltshops, marissa-explains-it-all, marmaladesxies, maureencstarkey, meanwhileinthe60s, mellowmovement, mickjagger, mickshagger, milk-jagger, milkshakes-and-pink-poodles, miscellaneousdoings, miss–vintage, missy-lou-frodis, moody-roses, moon-beambaby, moonbeamdreamer, moonlightgypsychild, morganawelch, musicforclassicsouls, musicstillgoeson, mypillowforte, newenglandwoodstock, nico-paffgen, nigel-tufnel, niklassveds, nixonette, no-salt-on-her-tail, not-all-the-prayers, novoselic-grrrl, ogypsybird, ohso60s, oldfashioned-way, oldsoulgirlie, orangewood-70-s, pacificarts, panis-et-circenciss, pattieboydd, pattieboydofficial, peacelovesixties, peelslowlytosee, penis-jesus, pennylaneinthesky, petertwerk, plastic-fantastik-lover, please-please-mrpostman, plinkfloyd, psychedelic-br4in-damage, psychedelic-m-e-s-s, psychedelic-pisces, psychedelicdisaster, psychedelicsloth, purerthoughts, quadrophen, queef-richards, queenvevo, quentinspooktino

R - S:

r-scast, racesarerun, randomstardom, rara-retro, rare-indignation, raspberrynoir, recordsandcigarettes, richardbooton, riingoe, rockandrollballerina, rocknrollicons, rockonancientqueen, rod-stewarts, rogerwatershisrobertplant, rollingstomes, s–upertramp, s-yrinx, sad-eyed-prophet, sadie-hawkins-dance, sagewinds, sanfrancisco1967, satanslittletoolshed, savetheflower-1967, sayyoulovechristinemcvie, scarletolicious, seventiesdream, shes-uh-rainbow, silver-bells, simon-and-garfunkeling, sister–disco, sister-ofthemoon, sixtieschic, sixtiesliveon, sixtiestodeath, sleeping-on-a-dandelion, somebody-groovy, somedrunkpoet, somelacee, songsofthepast, soulsinging-gypsy, soundsandpressure, souslecielparis, spalvotas-dangus, stagecoachlady, steviefuckingnicks, stevienickss, stevienicksvevo, stevienickz, stinkindrunk, strawberry-factory, strawberrygroupie, streisland, studiofiftyfour, surrealistic-pillow, swingin-60s-chick, swinging-60s, synthpopped

T - V:

that-musik-girl, thatgroovychick, the–madcap–laughs, the-crunge, the-do0rs, the1970z, the60sbazaar, thebitchboys, thecarnabetianarmy, thechildren0fthesun, thefoolonthehill67, thehighwaygypsy, thehighwaywoman, themadmod, therainydaywoman, therosesaresighing, thescentofasound, theswinginsixties, thevelvetsubmarine, thewonderfulworldofthe60s, torn-flowers, townhsend, ukechamp, vaguevintage, valley-of-the-kings, velvet-sixties, velvet-tangerine, velvetgroupie, victorianbetch, vintage-nymphet, vintagefollies, vinylwitch, vitxr, viviensleigh

W - Z (the final list omg)

walking-antiques, watersslut, wear-some-flowers, welshwiitch, whiplash—girlchild, whisky-gogo, whistlinggypsyrover, whyarentiagroupie, wildstrawberries15, woman-unkind, woodstockbaby1969, xgypsygirl, yeah70s, yesterdayintoday, yesterdays-lovers, zigggyy

If you are not one here that doesn’t mean I love you any less. I still want to talk with all of you! Thank you all again for following. You are all so lovely and make my tumblr experience awesome! (sorry this list was so long!)

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@KAtieQlowes hanging out with us Gladiators!!!!