Our first date and I spend it staring at my red nail polish.
Red nail polish.
Red nail polish.
And you act like you don’t notice me picking 2 strands of hair out of my scalp when a loose one falls onto my lap.
And you ignore the way my words fumble in threes.
You ignore the way I tap my thumb three times.
Tap my thumb three times.
Tap my thumb three times.
And you watch intently as I slice tomatoes because my mother always warned,“One cut turns into 3, or more.”
And you watch as I lock the house door three times.
Three times.
Three times.
And at 12:30 you beg for me to come to bed.
But I don’t reply because you missed my name somewhere in that sentence and I force you to recite it until the words flow better.
And ironically my favorite number ruined me
Because three months later you got tired of loving me.
—  Three times a charm, right?

anonymous asked:

For the blind!Laura AU, what about Laura meeting Carmilla's family for the first time and Will and her mother are terrible. And then Laura doesn't really know how she feels about mattie and is kind of disheartened by the whole night but then like carmilla or maybe mattie reassures her that Carm is serious about her.

Been awhile since I wrote a prompt. Welcome back, blind!Laura AU.

The mood is different than when you introduced Carmilla to your dad. It was nervous, but also excited. Now you can just feel the fear radiating off Carmilla as she tapped the steering wheel.

“Carm, baby, you are a nervous wreck. What’s wrong?”

“How can you tell?”

“You know–”

“I tap my fingers when I’m nervous, yeah, yeah, I get it.” Carmilla snaps. You fold your hands in your lap.


You feel a hand running through your scalp. “…Babe, I’m sorry. It’s just–I mean, you know how much I hate my family.”

“You like your sister, though.”

“I know, and if this party wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be going.”

You take Carmilla’s hand from your hand, holding it in your lap. “If they’re your family, I’m sure I’ll find something to like.”

“Don’t speak too soon, Cupcake.” The car comes to a stop. “Okay, we’re here. I should probably tell you one more thing?”

“Sure. What?”

“I kind of…neglected to mention that I was dating you until yesterday.”

You smile. “Hey, as long as they aren’t surprised to see me, right?”

“About that…” She trails off. You tilt your head.

“Carm, they know I’m blind, right?”

She doesn’t answer.

“Carmilla you didn’t tell them?”

Well, might as well get it over with! Let’s go!” Carmilla gets out of the car and you follow her, grabbing your cane.

“Carmilla, answer my question!”

“Let me worry about it, Laura.”

“Oh my God, so help me I will break up with you right–”

“And you must be Laura!”

Hiiiii Miss Karnstein! Or Mattie. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell which. Because I’m blind. You know, I can’t see? Since I’m blind. Not sure if Carm told you that. But, nice to meet you.”

You hold out a hand until Carm presses lightly on your back.

“Cool it, Cupcake,” she whispers in your ear, “And that was my mom.”

“How’d she look?” You ask as you walk in.

“…Let me worry about that, Laura.”

Oh, wonderful.

Will, Mattie, my girlfriend Laura. Mother, I know you just met her.”

You really wish you could see their reactions to you right now.

“Dude, you’re seriously dating a blind girl–OW!”

“Leave it alone, William.”

Carmilla, that is no way to treat your little brother!”

“Or a guest, unappealing as you may find her. To be fair to Millie.” An unfamiliar says. Mattie, you guess.

“Look…guys, yes. She is blind. Can we please let it drop?”

“Let it drop? Carmilla, you neglect to tell me you are dating this woman for two years. And when you finally tell me, you decide to neglect to tell me this?”

You’re starting to feel like a puppy Carm is trying to convince her parents to keep.

“Mother, I will date whoever I want. I don’t need your preapproval. Ever think that this reaction was why I didn’t want to say anything?”

“You can’t blame us for being a bit shocked when she walked in with that.”

The cane, you guess. Okay. You’ve had enough of just standing there.

“I don’t need the cane,” you answer.


“No, I really don’t. See? I can get around as well as all of you. Really. Let’s just pretend I’m not blind, okay? Carm’s sister is celebrating her birthday today. Let’s focus on that.”

You take two steps.

“Laura, wait–”

And then fall flat on your face.

“…There’s a step there, babe.”

You get up. “I’m fine.” You reach a hand out and feel someone’s face.

Why are you such a mess today?

“Uh, you know this is my face, right?”

“Sorry, Will, right?” You retract your hand and blush. 

“Well, Millie, you really got yourself a keeper there,” Mattie says dryly. You hear the scrape of a chair as, you guess, she sits down. “Clearly such an independent woman.”

You grit your teeth. “Who do you think–”

Okay, let’s not let this ruin my oldest’s birthday.” Miss Karnstein said in a sing song voice, pulling another chair out. “You. Sit down. The chair is–”

“I heard it, thank you.”

You sit down and feel an arm snake around your waist.

“I’m sorry,” Carmilla whispers. She presses your cane into your hand underneath the table, “But don’t get yourself hurt over it, please?”

You squeeze her hand and smile. “Thanks,” you mouth. She’s right. It’s best to just enjoy the dinner. Your hands hover over the table in front of you, the tips of your fingers brushing over the plates and utensils so that you know where everything is.

“…So, Carmilla, how did you and Laura meet?”

“A blind date.” Carmilla answers.

You hear a snicker.

“Will, you little punk, shut up.”

You definitely don’t like Will.

“Carmilla, that is no way to talk to your brother.”

And you also don’t like Carmilla’s Mom.

“In all fairness, I am sure they’re getting rather tired of that particular bit of irony.”

You aren’t sure if you hate Mattie. She’s unpleasant, at the very least.

“Oh, come on, it’s funny,” Will answers.

You keep your head down. For Carm’s sake you’ll stay quiet. Plus, he’s just some snotty sixteen year old kid.

“Hey, sis, I have a question,” Will continues, “What convinced you to go on a date with a blind girl you don’t even know?”

“For your information, I didn’t even know she–” Carmilla stops.

“And you didn’t even dump her once you found out?”

Your palms slam on the table.

“I. Am. Standing. Right. Here.” You snap.


“I am blind, not deaf.”

“Hey, I’m just wondering. Not like she doesn’t have a ton of options. You may not notice, but Carmilla could date anyone she–” 

You swing your cane. It’s a lucky hit; you could only hear Will but you got him right on the head. You hear a clatter and you realize the cane broke.

Will!” Miss Karnstein exclaimed.

Relax, the cane is really flimsy. She didn’t hit him that hard!” Carmilla said.

Fuck, sugar-puss, your girlfriend is crazy!”

You’re sure any attempt at getting in her family’s good graces won’t work now.

“Carm, where’s your room?”


“Carmilla, don’t even…I need to get out of here. Please tell me where your room is.”

You hear Carmilla sigh. “Up the stairs, go straight.”

You stumble awkwardly through the house, keeping a hand on the wall. You feel so lost without the cane. You hate strangers’ houses. You hate this one especially. No wonder it took you so long to meet Carmilla’s family. As you grope your way up the stairs and then hit the door, you grasp the doorknob and turn. It opens and you once again feel around and find a bed. You fall into it and cry.

Your eyes don’t do tears, but you make all the customary noises and shuddering breathes. At least you can pretend you were never crying. That’s the last thing you need.

The doorknob turns again and you sit up. “C-Carmilla?”

“No, but it’s nice to see you.”


“Yes, it is. Now,” you feel Mattie’s weight shifting the mattress. She’s next to you. “That was some stunt you pulled.”

“Look, I know you hate me, and now you’re not even irrational for hating me ‘cause I attacked your brother, so please just leave me–”

Mattie starts laughing. “Darling, he may be my brother, but do you know how many times I’ve wanted to hit him over the head? Besides, the only thing you’ve hurt is his ego. Here,” Mattie presses a glass in your hand, “Water.”

You take a cautious sip. “…Where is Carm?”

“Having a very heated argument with Mother and William. Using lots of words like ‘ableism’ and ‘privilege’ and whatnot. It’s rather impressive. I’ve never seen Millie this passionate about anything in here life.”

“Except maybe Joan Jett,” you mutter, and Mattie laughs again.

“Yes, except maybe that. The point is, you may not be the brightest girl, but you’re certainly not fragile. In the future, however, you may want to bring an extra cane in case Will gets annoying again.”

You can’t help it; you laugh. “Thank you. I can see why Carmilla loves you so much.” 

“Well, she’s the only member of the family I find tolerable, so.”

You sit with Mattie in companionable silence as you listen to the sounds of Carmilla and her Mother screaming at each other downstairs.

anonymous asked:

If you're not tired, but you know you have to sleep, what do you do to fall asleep?

Lay down. 

Relax your scalp, face, neck, shoulders, chest, stomach, hands, knees, ankles and feet in something approximating that order.  On you back is best but however you need to lay to just be still for a long time is good as well.

Now close your eyes.  

Stay relaxed.  Check up on your muscle tension all over your body from time to time.

With your eyes still closed, imagine yourself sitting in a theater.  You can’t see ANYTHING in the theater.  There are no lights.  There are no other seats visible.  Just an enormous black screen.  

Breathe in.  As you do, a large, white “1″ is projected onto the screen.  Everything else in the theater is still black.  Nothing else can be seen but the “1″.

Breathe out.  Now it’s a “2″.  

Relax.  Check in with all of your muscles.  Nothing in this theater is going to surprise you.  The numbers are the only thing you need to focus on.

In.  “3″

Out.  “4″

Go on like this.  What you’ll notice is that the screen will fade and give way to other more distracting thoughts.  Sometimes you wont make it to “10″ without the theater, which should essentially just be a giant floating number, becoming an image of your life’s worries or problems or even interests.

Here’s the real discipline.

You have to keep returning to the black theater.

And every time you do, you start with “1″ as you inhale.

Which may feel frustrating because we’ve been taught to make progress and starting over is something we perceive as a type of failure.

But in this case, “1″ means you’ve harnessed your own thoughts.  “100″ or “1000″ just means that you’ve taken that many breaths.  But it’s all just a number.  There’s no goal number.  The number is just a place holder for the problems or thoughts that would otherwise keep you awake.

If you lose count, “1″ is always there and it’s always a relaxing experience to see “1″

If you really are clearing your mind of all but the counting of breaths and the number, you’ll notice that your breathing will slow.  You’ll remain relaxed.  

Eventually, you may find that the theater has been completely black for some time.  You may also find yourself watching images of things you don’t recognize or remember.  All of this is alright.  Your mind will take you places but always check in that it’s not taking you a place that is causing you tension.

It may take an hour to stop thinking about your life.  It may not happen at all.  Either way, you’re going to be ok.  Any sounds or distractions are just… part of the world.  They’re not your concern.  

If you open your eyes and look at the clock and the time is later than you had hoped, keep in mind that the relaxation can help your body almost as much as the sleep can.  When you’re in your theater, you are resting.  Your body is at ease.  There’s no goal.  There’s no motive.  You’re just weight on a bed.  Breathing.

This is how I was taught to meditate.  It’s not actually sleep but it gets me ready to sleep.  

The world is turning and you’re breathing.  Rest your body and your mind.  Then you’ll be prepared to surrender your consciousness.

I used to relax AND bleach my hair and it was so fucked lmao like I stopped relaxing it years ago but the damaged hair was still there when I started getting wild with bleaching it. Tbh I don’t know how it didn’t just melt off but shaving my head was really good for it!! A nice fresh start. I guess I’d consider it my big chop but I like, shaved it down to the scalp lmao. I just try to be kind to my scalp and hair, I don’t apply heat unless absolutely necessary, I do hot oil treatments and scalp massages, use a nice leave in conditioner…but like 80% of it is genetics I come from a very hairy line of people I don’t have any magic secrets to make yr hair grow except for love and patience as cheesy as that sounds 

I want my whole life to be the feeling of being out in humidity and coming home all sticky and gross and sweaty and then taking a shower and letting the water run above your head as the coolness from your peppermint shampoo radiates from your scalp to your whole body. 

anonymous asked:

I remember seeing you talk about coconut oil a while ago and I wanted to try it. What do you use it for?

Coconut oil is a godsend, I use it for literally everything.


  1. Put some coconut oil on your ends before washing your hair to protect them from the drying effects of your shampoo
  2. As a hair mask. Apply two tablespoons of the oil all over your hair and massage it for a few minutes. Leave it on your hair for at least a half hour (I do this once a week).
  3. As a scalp treatment. Apply the oil generously to your scalp and rub it gently to make sure that the oil spreads well. This helps to improve blood circulation on the area and makes your hair grow healthier. It’s great for everyone, but specially if you have dandruff
  4. Frizz control. Rub a little bit (very little! You don’t want your hair to look oily) of coconut oil to bottom half of your hair to keep those annoying flyaways in place.

Face & Body:

  1. As a face and body moisturizer (even if you have oily skin - which I do). It’s a lot more moisturizing than the usual moisturizers because it penetrates deep layers of the skin, without causing breakouts. 
  2. It is a great makeup remover.
  3. Mix it with some brown sugar for a great (and delicious) lip scrub
  4. You can also use it as a lip balm.
  5. As a budget-friendly under-eye cream
  6. Mix ½ a cup of coffee grounds with 2-3 tablespoons of coconut oil and some sea salt for a body scrub that also stimulates blood flow.
  7. Put some oil on your cuticles to get rid of those ragged cuticles.
  8. It’s also a good substitute for shaving cream.

Other uses:

  1. Oil pulling. Swish a tablespoon of coconut oil in your mouth for about 20 minutes first thing in the morning. It reduces the amount of harmful bacteria in the mouth, improving oral and dental health. (It’s a little gross, I know, but it does wonders for your teeth and gums!)

I’m sure there are a lot of other uses, but these are the things I have personally tried. There are a lot of articles about coconut oil out there so check them out! Oh and one more thing: buy unrefined, extra virgin coconut oil, since it is closest to its natural state.

i wanna quit my job and make music and art until im content enough to die n then maybe kill myself in some weird way like scalping my own head and bleeding out on a side walk

DCI Eastern Classic Night 1 Recap

Hello friends, here is the night 1 recap from Eastern Classic.  Please remember that these are my personal opinions, and that I believe that every corps works just as hard to put on a great show. 

We got there right after the national anthem, when I thought we wouldn’t get there until after the first few corps due to traffic.  Alyssa got there early and was already watching in the lot. Unfortunately due to the long line for tickets, we missed Pioneer.  However, their sound carried down the hill to the ticket booth, and they did sound great!  Couldn’t hear much of the drumline and pit, but the brass sounded strong.

Also people were scalping DCI tickets it was super weird. 

Cascades were next with “Intergalactic”.  While the drumline seemed a little loose, the brass had some great impacts.  I liked their music selection; it all really flowed well and made sense.  Their props were a giant spinning earth and stars. The ballad was their strongest section (”Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden), and the closer had a great use of technology by use of a robot voice.

Mandarins followed with “Resurrection”.  The corps had many visual moments throughout the show and I love their uniforms.  The Chinese themed show included Terra Cotta soldier props and Chinese characters on large fake gongs used by the guard.  I thought their high brass seemed on the quiet side, or perhaps their low brass was playing too loudly.  At this point, we were still standing on the Dieruff side closer to the souvie tents.

Spirit of Atlanta was next with “Out of the Ashes”.  It is NOT a jazz show!  This was a very enjoyable show from SOA.  While I always loved their fun jazz shows, this more serious turn really worked for them.  It was a bit of a different take on the traditional phoenix themed show, and included quotes from major world leaders during times of extreme trial (FDR’s “This is a date that will live in infamy” is one easy catch).  The use of audio was sporadic and fit in nicely with the theme and music.  A drone also appeared during this show, which was kinda funny.  SOA had a great sound and absolutely deserves higher scoring with this show.

Academy’s “A Step In Time” was a fun Mary Poppins show. The guard outfits are much different than what we’ve seen so far (obviously they look like Mary Poppins and aren’t wearing brightly colored spandex), but look like they would be really hot.  This show had a lot of energy and was the most mobile show of the night so far. The tenors had a great break and the corps seemed to have a lot of fun with this show. 

Intermission time for funnel cake!

First corps up after intermission was Blue Stars with “Side Show”.  The two trombonists with us were super excited to hear the section with trombones, but were promptly disappointed.  It was hard to hear the trombones from where we were sitting, even though were were on the same side of the field. They probably should have been mic’d (which is weird to say about trombones). The guard was very expressive and played the part very well.  I liked the juggler and how the corps really got into the story, but at times I felt the music was too cheery and didn’t quite match up.  The pit feature was great, glad to see so many corps really showcasing their pits. 

Cavaliers were back to full corps action with “Game On”.  Honestly I don’t really understand this show.  Is it meant to be like a video game or like athletics or what.  The low brass was strong as always, and the drumline was tight. Still not a huge fan of how corps are using trombones this year. The singer was hard to understand and I have no idea what he was singing. 

I really liked the use of the mirrors in the Blue Knights’ show “Because”.  Loved the use of the Beatles’ tune spread throughout the show, as well as the audio from it.  However I have no idea what the second audio was, only that it wasn’t a Beatles piece and was only played once.  This show got a bit existential I think and was trying hard to be both a classical drum corps show and a modern one. I did like their guard work- anyone else notice how popular blue and orange is as a color combo this year?

Santa Clara Vanguard had my favorite show of the evening with “A Spark of Invention”.  Started off with a good recovery in the pit after the sound system failed and we lost microphones. Loved all the guard work from the beginning with flags on a string to the end with the light up poles. Brass was fantastic with echoing and with music in general.  In my notes I have written “so awesome so awesome lights and shit that was awesome”.  

Blue Devils I really wanted to like “Ink” because it is such a cool concept, but I can’t get over the middle break dance section that seems so out of place.  I loved the guard work in the beginning and whoever thought of the guard popping out of the books is a genius.  Drumline and pit were incredibly tight, even when the snares were sitting up on ladders.  If they got rid of the middle techno break dance, I would have really loved this show.  

All in all, a great showing from all corps tonight.  Sadly we had to leave before scores and exhibition corps went on, but huge props to Mandarins for helping out the FREE Drum Corps.  FREE is an all special needs corps and DCI asked for 5 members of Mandarins to help out.  Class act Mandarins sent 150.  Thank you to all the members of Mandarins who gave up their post performance time to help another corps out. 

Scores from Night 1 below. 

1. Blue Devils 93.725
2. Santa Clara Vanguard 90.575
3. Blue Knights 87.875
4. The Cavaliers 85.250
5. Blue Stars 83.600
6. The Academy 80.275
7. Spirit of Atlanta 77.900
8. Mandarins 75.050
9. Cascades 70.900
10. Pioneer 65.425

me: dont call me a half breed im not a dog thanks

some random ass honky: stop being over sensitive lil bitch!!

honky #2: YATH!! SCALP THAT MUTT BECKY #whitesupremacy

anonymous asked:

Did you end up cutting your hair after it damaged or did you just let it grow back natural? I have dry frizzy hair and i want it to go back natural :(

i kept getting it trimmed but never took well care of it so it never grew past my shoulders and never got healthy. obviously coconut oil is what your hair needs as a deep condition. but once a week you should crush up prenatal vitamins or vitamin c and mix them into a good conditioner and leave it in for hours or until the next day. you need a satin cap, they sell them at walmart and sallys. put all that in and keep that shit on for a long ass time. wash your hair once or twice a week. when you do wash it, scratch your scalp really well to remove all build up. warm or cold water only. gently dry it with a cotton t-shirt. non sulfate shampoo ONLY. and even when using that or any other shampoo, you need to add a good amount of conditioner to that so your hair doesn’t get completely stripped. squirt some shampoo in your hand, then squirt some conditioner into that and bam. my hair was badly damaged for years and now it’s curly and bouncy and healthy and i love it more than ever. you CANNOT add heat to your hair. going 3 weeks without heat and then adding heat just once destroys all progress. you have to avidly deep condition, i promise. i did it every day for a week. WARNING: If you have dyed hair, the vitamin C will strip off all the color so be careful. but that’s so helpful for the people who want to get rid green or blue dyed hair since those are the hardest colors to get rid of


Your mother telling you that your great great grandmother from your Dad’s side being half “Indian” doesn’t fucking make you half Native American.

Also, I don’t scalp people.

Take off our feather headdresses, you’re not being hipster or edgy. You’re being disrespectful.

We are here, we still exist, and we are proud.

the mess i made ❅ eloirry

This was probably an awful idea. Okay. It was an awful idea. It was crazy and probably borderline stalkerish, but Eloise didn’t really see too many other choices. Harry ignored her texts and calls and was just a straight bitch when he did reply. The only thing that really kept her on her toes was that dumb news account that practically fucking scalped her. She didn’t mind it too much, but it was really fucking embarrassing and she was getting @’d for all the wrong reasons :(.

So now she was sitting her car a few houses down from (what she hoped and prayed to God was) Harry’s home. There really wasn’t any backing out now. Well there was, but that would’ve been a waste and she wouldn’t get to leave with satisfaction. She hoped she would, anyways. She wasn’t really sure how Harry would react to being sort of bombarded, but it was worth the risk. Eloise didn’t have anything to lose anymore. 

Swallowing her pride, Eloise pulled herself from the car and stuffed her hands into her pockets as she shuffled down the sidewalk and meekly approached the door, knocking quietly, half-way hoping nobody was home.



kaiuhh asked:

Hi there! I'm a part of the phandom tumblr meetup as well. I was just wondering how you got your hair so light? I'm wanting to go white then dye it grey but I don't know where to start! Thank you! ^-^

well first i just bleached it until it was light enough, then i put the white hair dye in. and after that i made some places a bit darker with grey (conditioner with a bit of black in it)

i just looked at your face tag and saw that you have really dark hair, so you might want to bleach it around 3 times, maybe even more. ((but let your hair and scalp rest in between the bleachings!! v important!!!)) but you basically just want to be as blond as possible before dyeing your hair white

(i’m sure you’d look great with white/grey hair btw!!! ^__^)

Itchy scalp blues. Remedying that with 1:1 water and #applecidervinegar in my fancy new spritz bottle that I loooooove. (Haha, I was using an old hair spray bottle before & it sucked coz it isn’t transparent.) Gonna rub it around & leave it in for 15 minutes then rinse out with water. While damp, going to plait some knots with my warmed up mix of #CoconutOil and #RosemaryOil. #GreenhouseEffect with an old plastic bag then remove and flourish through the day while my hair dries. #afrotexturedhair #NaturalHair #Dischem

today my post about tipping in seattle has reached “republican/libertarian Anime fans who have obviously never interacted with a restaurant employee in a meaningful way” Tumblr and i love that it feels like a screwdriver against my scalp