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I’m still down for Garrett Hawke jokes in the style of Chuck Norris jokes

  • When a Blight begins, Garrett Hawke doesn’t try to survive. The darkspawn do.
  • Underneath Garrett Hawke’s beard is another beard, and underneath that beard is a fist.
  • Garrett Hawke once got bit by a poisonous spider… After three days of pain and agony… the poisonous spider died.
  • Garrett Hawke caught the Blight and made it sick.
  • Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Garrett Hawke is called Logic.
  • Garrett Hawke is so powerful he can put out a fire with a fire spell.