saying;quote

She was too quiet, or she was too loud. She took things too seriously, or not seriously at all. She was too sensitive, or too cold-hearted. She hated with every fiber of her being, or loved with every piece of her heart. There was no in-between for her. It was either all or nothing. She wanted everything but settled for nothing.

Our Barbarian was completely drunk and he asked the DM what the barmaid looked like on a scale of 1-10. The DM rolled, smiled and asked him to roll for perception with disadvantage. Rolled a 1. 

DM: She’s a solid 2 but in your drunken state, she’s a decent 6. 

Barbarian (ooc): aw crap, but I might as well play along.

My Warlock’s patron is a dealmaker demon and as such, makes unfair deals with people.

Warlock to barmaid: Hey, wanna get laid tonight? Cover mine and my buddy’s expenses for the night and I can guarantee you’ll get some.

After 2 successful persuasions I go to the barbarian and roll a 19, total 30 on deception convincing him she’s a perfect 10. 

Long story short, he gets her pregnant, my warlock gets killed by Krampus and he’s going to give up his first born to ressurect me